TEASER: Vince Russo once said wins and losses are not important. I’m undergoing a project that may prove that point – but remains interesting nonetheless. More details when completion approaches.
LIVE from Denver, Colorado – WCW Monday Nitro is on the air! ERIC BISCHOFF, BOBBY HEENAN, MONGO MCMICHAEL, and PEPE IN DISGUISE host! Pepe’s sporting those springy eyes, and Mongo sure seems proud of his pet rug. Before we can even get underway, RIC FLAIR hits the announce booth – and tells Arn Anderson it’s going to be a Mile High night, and he’s coming after him!
ONE WEEK AGO: Lex Luger offered a challenge to Randy Savage. If Savage wins, Luger will leave WCW. Later that night – Savage hits a big elbow on Zodiak after losing by DQ and takes a chokeslam from The Giant. Luger attempts to save and takes one as well.
LEX LUGER vs. RANDY SAVAGE
Interesting way to kick off the show. Bischoff reminds us not to turn over to the WWF, because Nitro is LIVE whereas RAW is taped. The opening bell is inaudible – thanks production team! They lock up – and fight all the way to the floor, and before anything further takes place, we have to take a commercial break!
This segment of WCW is brought to you by Slim Jim – SNAP INTO IT!
It’s WCW like you’ve never seen! The Giant and Hulk Hogan lock up inside some monster trucks, and then bring it to the ring for the World Title! Sunday, October 29, live and only on pay-per-view!
Back to the show – Luger shoves Savage to the corner. Slaps are traded – and I almost feel ready for another commercial. Luger slaps Savage one too many times, something I personally wouldn’t try, and Savage beats his ass. Luger runs to the floor where they fight over suplexes, and Luger wins that one hitting a neckbreaker. Back in, Savage gets a small package for 2. Luger picks Savage off his feet with a gorilla press slam! They fight over a backslide – but Luger blocks it by putting his feet on the ropes, and the fans are NOT happy. He gets the backslide himself – and gets 2. Savage off the ropes – shoulderblock takes them both down. Savage gets up first and scurries to the top, tries to crown him with a double axehandle, but Luger punches him in the gut. Savage recovers and launches Luger out – then comes off the top to the outside, this time hitting the double axehandle! Luger shoves Savage off the attack, and Savage goes face first into the ringpost. Back in the ring, Savage throws Luger into the ref by accident, powerslams him, and hits the Big Elbow. No referee however, so Savage goes to wake him up…and here comes THE GIANT. CHOKESLAM for Savage! Nothing for Luger, and The Giant walks away. Luger, having missed the whole thing, recovers – and the ref does too. Luger picks up the fallen Savage, and racks him. Savage is out – and the arm drops 3 times. (8:47) **
Promotional consideration is brought to you by Crossfire, Big A, and Hot Pockets – WHADDYA GONNA PICK?
This week on WCW Saturday Night – Brian Pillman and Arn Anderson take on Dick Slater and Bunkhouse Buck, we’ll find out why Johnny B Badd missed his US Title shot against Sting, and Jim Duggan squares off with Big Bubba.
Back with our friends at the commentary table – Heenan suggests that everyone pack their bags now that The Giant’s here. Bischoff wants to know why he didn’t lay a finger on Luger.
DISCO INFERNO dances on the ramp for no real reason to his music. It’s interrupted shortly thereafter by Juventud Guerrera’s music, which means…
EDDIE GUERRERO vs. DEAN MALENKO
Eddie quickly tells Disco to piss off. Is there any doubt that this match is gonna rule? Clips are shown from last night on WCW Pro where Eddie Guerrero defeated Jushin Liger with a Frogsplash. Tony calls Eddie’s move the “Jackknife”. Christ almighty Tony. Guerrero shoves Malenko – and Malenko’s right back up with the kip up. Test of strength, Eddie wins – but gets flipped by Malenko. Eddie lands on his feet anyway. Malenko takes Eddie does, goes for a front facelock – but Guerrero moves to a hammerlock. Mongo: “Now, there’s a book about 101 sex positions, so where does Malenko come up with 1001 holds?” Malenko shoves Guerrero off – but Guerrero takes him down with a shoulderblock. Flippy flippy jumping, and Malenko finally stomps that flurry with a dropkick. Double leg slam from Malenko, but STOP THE PRESSES…
THE HULKAROO and JIMMY HART are here. “Let me tell ya something Jimmy Hart, you’re my best friend.” Sweet. Hogan promises to put an end to Kevin Sullivan’s shenanigans. Hart begs Hogan to go home because The Giant’s around. Hogan doesn’t care, he wants him NOW.
Now, back to the much less important match, Malenko attempts a pancake, but Eddie lands on his feet, so Malenko hits a snapmare instead, covers, and gets 2. Malenko tries to dump Eddie – but Eddie hangs on and gives him a rana over the top. On the floor, Eddie slams Malenko – and heads to the top. HUGE plancha hits the target dead on! Back in they go where Eddie gives Malenko a suplex, and goes up. The Frogsplash is BLOCKED via Malenko’s knees. Malenko tries a sunset flip – but Eddie sits down on him, 1, 2, 3! (5:25) **1/2 The production team plays Malenko’s music, before moving to Eddie’s. Eddie tries to go to the back, but Malenko pulls him back in and asks for a rematch. Eddie agrees, hand shake, we’re all friends here in WCW.
MEAN GENE welcomes HULK HOGAN to Denver. Hogan says there’s not much to talk about…and then finds a lot to talk about. Last night, Hogan was with a good friend of his, Jason Pittman, who’s getting a double lung transplant. That Hulkamaniac BEGGED him to take out that Big Stinky Giant. He rips off his shirt – and promises to rip apart the Giant as well. Hogan hops out of the ring and starts shaking hands with everyone. SOME WOMAN WITH A CANE attacks Hogan and Jimmy Hart. Powder to the face of Hogan! Her face is covered by a sweater – and revealed to by Kevin Sullivan. THE GIANT and BRUTUS FURFACE head down to join the fun, and for the second time The Giant TWISTS HOGAN’S NECK. For kicks, Sullivan shaves Hogan’s moustache off. THE AMERICAN MALES come to save the day – but they learn the same lesson as the jobbers from the past, and each take a CHOKESLAM! Here come THE NASTY BOYS – but you guys can forget it – CHOKESLAMS for all! Sullivan cuts some of Hogan’s hair and Heenan cackles with delight.
It’s not just a monster truck match, it’s a SUMO MONSTER TRUCK MATCH! Halloween Havoc – only on pay-per-view!
Promotional consideration paid for by Slim Jim, Frank Thomas: Big Hurt Baseball (sucks), Slick 50, and Separation Anxiety!
Next on TNT – My Samurai. Watch it, or “go bake some cookies!”
ARN ANDERSON vs. RIC FLAIR
Arn gets the jobber entrance, Flair does not. So here we go again! Anderson takes Flair down immediately – but Flair’s back on his feet and chops away. WOOOO! Anderson backdrops Flair, covers, and gets 2. Anderson slaps on a hammerlock – but Flair escapes and goes right back to the chops. Anderson goes down – and Flair struts. Anderson rakes the eyes of Flair, whips him – Flair flips, Anderson charges, Flair ducks and yanks down the top rope and LOOK AT ANDERSON FLY! Wheeee! Chop – WOOOO! Flair kicks Arn in the midsection and continues the chopping. Flair charges one too many times, and Anderson backdrops him. Back in they go, and Flair begs off. Arn attacks anyway, and gets a foot to the groin. A poke to the eyes establishes he’s still the dirtiest player in the game. Off the ropes…ooh, right into an Anderson spinebuster! It gets a 2. Anderson applies an armbar, but Flair escapes, tries a sleeper – and has it reversed. Flair shoves Anderson off and to the corner – and hits a belly to back suplex. Elbow to the chin – and NOW WE GO TO SCHOOL! Figure four applied – but Anderson immediately makes the ropes. Arn rolls to the floor, Flair goes up – and leaps to the floor! Sadly, he just isn’t used to actually jumping, so Arn punches him in the stomach. Flair on the floor hits a backdrop – and rolls Arn back in. Arn goes for a quick DDT, but Ric hooks the top rope and Arn comes down with nothing. Arn tries to come off the middle rope, but Flair chops him on his way by – and once again we put on the Figure Four! Middle of the ring this time, Anderson’s screwed! BRIAN PILLMAN appears on the top rope – and the referee’s not even giving him a chance to attack – Flair wins by DQ. (8:15) **3/4 Pillman comes off anyway – but Flair’s not feeling anything and chops the hell out of Pillman. Anderson attacks – and both guys are enough to take Ric down. They work over Flair and leave him lying. Pillman makes me laugh by giving the camera a psychotic glare and saying “WOOOOOO” while flashing the 4 fingers.
This segment was brought to you by 1-800-COLLECT.
During the break, Nick Bockwinkle apparently saw what happened – and told Bischoff that we’re going to have Flair vs. Anderson inside a cage next week on Nitro!!!
NEXT WEEK: Sting takes on The Shark, Sabu returns and will face Mr. JL, and we’ll see Road Warrior Hawk against Big Bubba. And I imagine I’ll be bringing you those results.
Their standard was to call it "the Jacknife frogsplash" until - sometime after the heel turn? I can't remember when it stopped. I believe Jacknife was a ref to his unique elbows-to-knees motion as a result and not Nash, I believe but I wasn't in the know at the time.
The shaving mustache bit is intersting in what it leads to, and how it got forgetten later.
Almost caught up now as I welcome you to this edition of the Lines for Thursday March 11, 2004 SmackDown. SmackDown Lines: March 11, 2004 And for the explanations, I should not have to tell you, but why not?