Meh, this was on my hard drive and in the way. Wonít bother posting it at Inside Pulse since itís got absolutely no value what-so-ever, so figure this is a throwaway for my Reader who enjoys this stuff.
We are LIVE from the National Car Rental Center in Sunrise, Florida! TONY SCHIAVONE wastes no time with the hyperbole, as usual. Seated along next to him are ďANGRYĒ MIKE TENAY and LARRY ZBYZSKO for an ďexcitingĒ 3 hours of Monday Nitro!
ALEX WRIGHT vs. NORMAN SMILEY
Alex was of course a pioneer, dawning the Metrosexual look BEFORE it was cool. His stupid dance still makes me laugh, even after all these years. Tony says ďWCW Monday NitroĒ about 6000 times in the first minute. Wright hits a firemanís carry slam and poses. Norman ainít impressed. He comes back with a cross body, and his awesome wind up slam. Wright begs off, and when Norman refuses, he gets a thumb to the eye. Alex nails a flying forearm, and a spinning heel kick to draw a little heat. A whip sends Norman back first into the buckle, and Wright ties him to the tree of woe. More dancing from Das Homosexuell. Loud ďALEX SUCKSĒ chant, but I donít want to know about it. Wright misses a blind chage, allowing Norman to hit a standing double underhook suplex! Norman hits a drop toe hold, drops a leg, boogies, and gets 2! Next he tries a press slam and heads up - but Wright cuts him off, and nails a superplex! A swinging neckbreaker ends it at 4:41. ** Alex claims to be the best European wrestler in WCW, but only because Steven Regalís off being a real manís man.
To the commentatorís desk, where Larry encourages Larry chants.
Hereís a look at last week, where Diamond Dallas Page won the United States title, and Bret Hart responded by attempting to break legs.
Opening credits. What the hell is Vader still doing there?
THE NITRO GIRLS dance around with oversized WCW/nWo Revenge boxes. Buy it now for N64!
DISCO INFERNO vs. KAZ HAYASHI
Donít like Kazís chances one bit here. Disco clotheslines Hayashi to start, and talks trash. Blind charge misses, and Kaz hits a rana! A dropkick sends Disco outside, and Kaz NAILS him with a corkscrew pescado! Back in, Kaz hits a jawbreaker, and comes off the top with a crossbody for 2! Disco figures thatís enough of the jobber offense, and drops a double axehandle off the second rope for 2. Big leg drop, and a second axehandle attempt misses! Kaz shoots off a dropkick, hits a backbreaker, and nails a moonsault RIGHT onto Discoís face for 2! SONNY ONOO watches on from the top of the ramp. Disco tries going up, but Kaz cuts him off - while Onoo claims that HE is the #1 wrestler in WCW because heís undefeated. Scoop slam from Kaz, but heís distracted by Onooís presence. Like an idiot, he chases Sonny around the ring, and runs right into the Macarena Piledriver for the Disco win at 4:39. **1/4 Onoo: ďSuch a disgrace to my country!Ē
MEAN GENE hits the ramp - and welcomes back BOOKER T from injury! Booker of course had to forfeit the TV, which Stevie Ray defended on his behalf. Gene wants to know where on earth heís been. Booker says heís been hurt, and wants a match with Bret Hart. Heís not annoyed with Stevie Ray for the deal with the TV title, and has nothing but love for his brother. As for the person who clobbered him in the knee that injured him, he wants a piece in the ring TONIGHT. And that person? Scott Hall! ďIím gonna kick ya where the good lord split ya, if you know what Iím talking about sucka! Itís gonna be on like neckbone!Ē
SCOTT PUTSKI vs. FIT FINLAY
I swear these two used to fight every week on Nitro. As soon as I saw Putski, I knew damn well who was coming out next. Polish/Irish relations are going to hell in a handbasket while I watch this. Fit hits a shoulderblock, but Putski fires back with a clothesline and scoop slam. Putski misses an elbowdrop, and Finlay slams him in retaliation for a minute ago. Finlay nails some stiff punches, and gets a 2. Into a headlock, Finlay releases, and kicks Putski in the back. A kneedrop gets 2. Finlay keeps Putski grounded with a front facelock, and drives his elbow into the face. Putski has enough, and powerslams Finlay. Backdrop suplex, Nolan Ryan sucker punches, and a shoulderblock all serve to keep Putski in control. He goes for the Polish Hammer...but Finlay ducks, hits a firemanís carry roll, and tombstone for the win at 3:57. * Tenay wants a match between Alex Wright and Fit Finlay.
RAVEN sulks in the back. He starts cutting a self-pity promo, but KANYON enters the room and makes fun of the whining. ďAm I not invited to the self-pity party? What are you going to do tonight, jump off a building?Ē Raven puts his head down and walks off.
Hereís a highlight package of Jerichoís one-way feud against Goldberg, where through promos and general mockery, *everyone* wanted to see Goldberg kick his ass. Sadly, it would never come.
ERNEST MILLER (with Sonny Onoo) vs. SCOTT ARMSTRONG
Miller goes through his GREAT shtick of demanding to whip someone, be it from the locker room or from the crowd. ďI know Iím the greatest! Thank you, thank you!Ē Scott Armstrong responds. ďOh come on, didnít I whoop you once before? Well, by law, I have to tell you this: My hands are registered lethal weapons. Iím a three time karate champion! You fans know Iím the greatest. Iíll give you 5 seconds to leave this ring, or Iíll kick your face in. 1....2....OOOF!Ē Armstrong attacks from behind. Miller comes right back with a roundhouse kick off the top, and gets the pin at 0:25. DUD Miller goes nuts after the match, and chokes Armstrong out in the ropes. STEVE ARMSTRONG comes to make the save. He pulls Millerís legs out, and pounds away - but a distraction from Onoo allows Miller to hit HIM with the roundhouse kick, and the referee counts him down for a pin as well. ďSomebody call my mama! I just whooped the whole Armstrong family! Now send out Bullet! Whereís Bullet? I want to whoop your grandma, your granddad, I want to whoop somebody!Ē
WRATH vs. KENDALL WINDHAM
This isnít gonna be pretty. Wrath chops away at Windham in the corner, and chokes him out. Windham tries to get in a big boot, throws some shitty punches, but Wrath comes back with a side slam for 2. Windham hits a neckbreaker, but Wrath no sells and runs him over with a shoulderblock. Meltdown, 1, 2, 3, Wrath keeps the streak alive at 1:45. 1/2* Tony: ďWrath, quickly becoming unstoppable.Ē Itís a darn good thing we had Kevin Nash to stop THAT dead in its tracks just 3 weeks later.
More recappiní from last weekís Page/Hart match. The jist: Bret Hart is a really bad man.
MEAN GENE welcomes BRET HART to the ring to discuss some of his recent actions, but itís really hard not to notice the huge limp Bretís got going. ďUnfortunately Gene, hurting people is fun and nice, but it takes its toll. Unfortunately with me, I have a really severe groin pull, and thereís some doctors back there that wonít let me wrestle.Ē Gene suspects Bretís faking it, since he was walking around FINE earlier. Bret swears thereís doctors who went to school for years that he canít go. He thinks Gene wants to get him hurt, but wonít get suckered in. As far as Page goes, never celebrate title wins BEFORE you leave the ring. And Sting? Donít bring baseball bats if you donít want to get hurt. And for Luger, since heís too hurt to wrestle tonight, maybe Lex can consider this a blessing. LEX LUGER opts to respond. Hart: ďHey, Iíve got a serious groin pull, and Iíve got doctors that can prove it!Ē Luger wants to know how many years heís been wrestling, but Hart wonít be provoked. Luger calls him pathetic, but Bretís all ďtalk to the doctorsĒ, so Luger lays him out with a clothesline - clipping Okerlund in the process!!!!! Bretís put in the Rack, and if he wasnít hurt before, heís SQUEALING about the leg now!
Back to the announce booth. Tonyís none too pleased about having to do this, but apparently Eric Bischoff has demanded to air footage of Flair getting his ass kicked - so we turn over to the main event of Halloween Havoc 1994...
...before the clip ends however, THE FOUR HORSEMEN are headed down to the ring. Arn says he canít stomach any more of Bischoffís bullshit, and demands the war go down. Heís tired of the kids games, and demands to take it up to a manís level. He says the footage aired is disrespectful to both Hogan and Flair, because Hogan was a man at that time, not a political figure hiding behind Bischoff. Flair is a 13-time champion, whereas Bischoff was never a contender at anytime. ďNow, I understand youíre off bear hunting this week. Well, put the gun down, stop shooting at little deer, take that pocket knife out, and feel what itís like to be involved in a manís sport!Ē MEAN GENE wants a word with Ric Flair. Flair says that Bischoffís never been there, and is tired of dealing with an abusive little punk. The Horsemen are the best thing going today, and are headed to South Beach to rock and roll! Malenko asks them to go ahead, because heís got business with Raven first. Benoitís ready for fun in South Beach. Good lord! Mongo is apparently drunk, because I have no idea what on earth he starts rambling on about - and they smartly wrap it up quickly.
Hour two means WE NEED MORE FIREWORKS! Oh, and THE NITRO GIRLS dance.
Hereís a look at this weekís Nitro Party winner, basically involved in a bunch of backyard wrestling clips. FEEL THE EXCITEMENT
Bill Goldberg highlight clip.
SCOTT NORTON (with Vincent) vs. ďFAR OUTĒ VAN HAMMER
Nortonís wearing the IWGP world heavyweight title, having just completed his first successful title defense in Japan! First match in nearly a half hour. Norton throws some meaty chops at Hammer. An avalanche would appear to crush him, and a clothesline sends the big man flying to the outside! Hammer back to the apron, and Norton brings him in with a vertical suplex! Van Hammer connects with a cobra clutch slam from nowhere for 2! Norton, unimpressed, slams Hammer, and hits the powerbomb for the easy win at 2:00. * Decent power match.
TRAINER DANNY YOUNG checks up on BRET HART, whose ribs are taped up. The groin injury has extended up into the stomach and chest apparently. Thatís gotta smart!
PERRY SATURN has hit the ring, and is calling out Eddie Guerrero, whom heíd like to face 1-on-1 rather than 6-on-1. EDDIE GUERRERO responds, and comes to the ring alone...for now. ďYou think you want a piece of me? You think youíve got what it takes? Thatís okay, thatís fine, Iím gonna show you what Latinoism is all about!Ē He doesnít show him much though before Saturn starts throwing t-bones! He stomps away in the corner, and Eddie begs off. A referee enters, and itís on!
PERRY SATURN vs. EDDIE GUERRERO
Saturn goes for a DVD, but Eddie snaps off a rana in mid move - and connects with a vertical suplex! Eddie heads up, but Saturn cuts him off, and hits a t-bone superplex!!! A guillotine legdrop off the top gets 2! Falconís arrow...and here comes the LWO! Thatís a DQ at 1:30. 1/2* Letís see, weíve got Psychosis, El Dandy, La Parka, Damian, Hector Garza, and the new guy who remains unnamed. KONNAN heads down - but doesnít attack. He asks Saturn to stay back, and starts in on the mic. Eddie tells him to piss off and hang out with his Anglo Wolfpac buddies. Eddie tells Konnan to watch his back, and leaves with his boys. ďHey, Konnan, as far as weíre concerned, you and the Wolfpac can kiss the LWO...*pats his ass*Ē For some reason now ALEX RODRIGUEZ hops the guard rail, and walks off arm in arm with Konnan. No, this actually happens.
Back to last week once again, where Scott Steiner and Buff Bagwell beat up JJ Dillon, and locked him in a Steiner Recliner.
BOBBY HEENAN joins the broadcast table, chasing off Larry Zbyszko. Somebody in the production truck plays Rick Steinerís music for some reason, before correcting themselves.
SCOTT STEINER (with Buff Bagwell) vs. KENNY KAOS
Kaos emerges with a tag-team belt, surprising the announcers - despite the fact he was tagging with Rick JUST LAST WEEK. JJ DILLON emerges, and tells Steiner to hold back. Steiner, of course, doesnít, and rushes after Dillon. ďHEY, SCREW YOU, AND SCREW WCW! You suck, and WCW sucks! You got anything to say???Ē Dillon runs behind the broadcast table. ďIíve got something to say!Ē And we get a commercial break before he says anything.
Back to the live arena, THE NITRO GIRLS dance again. The announcers tell us they cut to commercial in order to get Steiner off the set, because heís completely insane.
PSYCHOSIS vs. REY MYSTERIO JR.
Whomp-ass! This needs at least 10 minutes. Psychosis shows Rey his very stylish LWO shirt, but Rey doesnít seem impressed. Rey traps Psychosis in a deathlock, but itís quickly released. They start trading chops, and Rey sneaks in a big boot. First rana is snapped off, and sends Psychosis to the floor! Psychosis stalls on the floor a bit - and when he re-enters, Rey immediately dropkicks him in the face. Bronco Buster gets no pop. Rey tries to run the corner, but gets caught with a running Liger bomb! Psychosis pulls Rey to the outside, and screams EVIL THINGS in Spanish. Rey gets slammed on the mat, and then Psychosis slingshots himself from the ring - and drops a guillotine! Back in, Psychosis gets 2. Heenan starts rambling about World War 3, stating it doesnít pay to be the biggest guy in the ring because everyone goes for you, and normally itís a guy with great conditioning about 5í10Ē to 6í2Ē who wins these. Letís see here Bobby... Winner in 1995: Randy Savage. Winner in 1996: The Giant. Winner in 1997: Scott Hall. All just a bunch of regular sized guys, yes sir. The only thing missing from that group is someone big. Big and sexy. Psychosis works a chinlock. Itís released, Rey staggers back, and takes a butt butt in the corner. Psychosis starts behaving like a total dick, dancing on Reyís chest. A press slam sends Rey flying. He tries to recover with a Lionsault, but itís blocked by Psychosis. Rey slips off the back shoulders, and Psychosis misses his attempt at a springboard crossbody! Rey quickly hits a springboard Thesz press for 2. Psychosis comes back with a front suplex for 2. Rey is placed up top, Psychosis hits the super Frankensteiner...but again, only 2! Blind dropkick misses, and Rey quickly hangs Psychosis out to dry between the second and third ropes. A split legged moonsault crushes Psychosis while heís hanging, and gets 2! Rey turns back to the rana, and follows with a carpet-muncher. To the top, Rey goes for a super Frankensteiner, but here comes the LWO! They are enough distraction for Rey to fall prey to a superbomb from Psychosis, and he gets the win at 8:37! **1/4 Iíve seen these two do FAR better. Eddie screams about being united with his brothers.
Itís the SHANK OF THE EVENING, and that means itís MEAN GENE time. His guest is CHRIS JERICHO, sporting a Goldberg t-shirt. Jericho wants to let everyone in on a dark wrestling secret: He has nothing but respect for Goldberg. ďOne of the greatest champions of all time. Almost as great as myself Gene Mean!Ē However, all the controversy from the past few weeks is all water under the bridge. ďOne of the things I remember from my illustrious football playing career...Ē ďWhoa whoa whoa, what football career?Ē ďYou know, Iím not here to brag about my football career...Ē ďWhere did you play football?Ē ďThatís for another time, another place.Ē He says watching game films always tell the truth, so they can refer back to them for all the times he beat Goldberg. But he definitely respects him, and offers him nothing but the best in the future. ďI mean that! Goldberg! Goldberg! Goldberg!Ē And he dances around as the worldís biggest Goldberg cheerleader.
RAVEN vs. DEAN MALENKO (in a Ravenís rules match)
Oooh, now this is gonna be something of a styles clash. Raven sulks in the corner, rather than yammer on. Raven asks Malenko to hit him, which Dean does happily. Raven doesnít even put up a fight, while Malenko just kicks the shit out of him. After a minute of this, Raven goes low and attacks. He bites Dean in the face, and stomps on the back of the head. Malenko dives at Raven, and both tumble to the outside. LODI hits the ringside area, but MONGO MCMICHAEL is here as well, and whips Lodi with a belt! He chases him backstage, while Raven takes back over the offense. In the ring, drop toe hold into the chair - and Malenko takes the bump beautifully! Raven covers, but the referee is too busy throwing out the chair, and he counts 2 too late. Raven nails a vertical suplex, and stomps away. Raven goes looking for his chair again, and brings it back into the ring. Itís wedged into the corner, and Malenko hops on Ravenís shoulders with a sleeper! Raven fights it off with a belly to back suplex! He goes to whip Dean to the chair, but Malenko reverses, and Raven hits it hard! Malenko hits a dropkick, follows with a vertical suplex, and gets 2. Malenko throws a German suplex! He goes for a second, but Raven blocks, and wants the Evenflow. Not happening - Malenko hits a spinebuster, and sets up the cloverleaf...but hereís KANYON! The distraction allows Raven a rollup for 2 - and when heís shoved off, he cracks heads with Kanyon, and Malenkoís rollup also gets 2! CHRIS BENOIT fights off Kanyon outside the ring, but here comes BRET HART now. He locks Chris in a hammerlock, and beats the hell out of him. Tenay: ďI thought he was hurt!Ē In the ring, Kanyon hits Malenko with a Flatliner, and the referee throws all this out at 6:12. **1/2 LEX LUGER runs down to save, and suddenly Bretís groin and ribs are hurting in the worst way! THE GIANT comes in, and pulls Bret to safety.
BILLY KIDMAN vs. CHRIS JERICHO (with Ralphus) (for the WCW world television title)
Kidmanís Cruiserweight title is not on the line here. Jericho makes sure that Ralphus is a very handsome man, by doing his hair on the way to the ring. Jericho powers Kidman back, and when the ropes break, Jericho gives him a polite golf clap. He takes Kidman over with a snapmare. A shoulderblock knocks him down, but Kidman comes back with a hiptoss and dropkick! A leapfrog is caught by Jericho, and Chris launches him to the floor. Heenan and Tenay have a really funny exchange about Jerichoís ďfootballĒ career. Jericho whips Kidman to the ringsteps, and they head back in. A vertical suplex plants Kidman, and the ďYEAH BAYBAYĒ cover gets 1. Kidman fires off a clothesline, takes off his shirt, and chokes out Jericho with it! That just serves to get Jericho mad though, as he hits Kidman with a pancake. Backbreaker submission is applied, but Kidman wonít give - and Jericho throws a tantrum. Blind charge misses, but Jericho recovers fast and kicks Kidman in the head. Kidman hits an atomic drop, follows with a springboard bulldog, and gets 2! Short powerbomb gets 2! Kidman tries a victory roll, but Jericho blocks and catapults Kidman into the buckle, hits a German with a bridge...and gets 2! ďCOME ON BAYBAY!Ē The idiot goes to POWERBOMB Kidman...and you can imagine how that goes. Kidman heads up for the Shooting Star Press, but Jericho rolls out of the way - and Jericho rolls him up for 2! Spinebuster, but the Liontamer is reversed with a rollup for 2! Kidman viciously kicks away at Jericho, trying to win this thing, so Jericho rolls out to stall. Kidman leaps the ropes, and hits the plancha! Back in, Kidman goes up again, but the bell sounds at 8:33??? Apparently the time limit has expired, which makes sense, since 8:33 is the standard time limit draw in TV title matches that happen on November 2, 1998. *** before the stupid ending.
JJ DILLON and KENNY KAOS have rejoined the announcers, now that Scott Steinerís elsewhere. Dillon says Steinerís out of control, and fines Buff Bagwell $50,000. Steiner gets $100,000. SCOTT STEINER and BUFF BAGWELL attack the announce table, causing EVERYONE to scatter. Nobodyís willing to give Steiner a live mic - so he runs down to ringside, and steals one from DAVE PENZER. ďIím here to say WCW (mute)! And nobody can control the rage in me!Ē Bagwell tells him to calm down, and wants to make it clear itís not Kenny Kaosí fault, and wants to talk to him. Kaos, stupidly, heads down. Steiner: ďI will never kiss anybodyís butt, because I am the man! I am the shit!Ē Okay, sucks gets bleeped, but shit.... Nevermind. Bagwell talks sweet to Kaos, letting him know heís just been in the wrong place at the wrong time, before Steiner blindsides him. Bagwell: ďWe like how stupid you are!Ē Steiner hits a double underhook suplex, and locks Kaos in the Steiner Recliner! Steiner re-iterates that WCW (mute), and as part of the nWo he does what he wants when he wants.
SCOTT HALL vs. BOOKER T
ďHey yo! Bear with me for one quick survey... Is there anybody in Fort Lauderdale who came to see WCW? (BOOOOO!) So that means that everybody here came to see the (N...W...O!!!!)! So tell me, did you come to see the original? The black and white express? (BOOOOOO!) Is there anybody here who came to see that lame red and black Wolfpac? (YAAAAY!) Well, speaking of Wolfpac, if you want to send out the leader, send out Big Sexy, oh thatís right, Big Sexy ainít here. And they talk about some of the nightspots I hang out in? Hey Kev, last time I saw you, you were really in the hole in the wall. Yuk yuk yuk. And Booker T, Booker T, I beat him up 3 months ago, and he just now got back, so Booker, you want some of Scott Hall? Donít sing it. Bring it!Ē
Hall blindsides Booker as he slides into the ring, but a flying jalapeno puts him right back in the first. A hotshot hangs Scott out to dry, and a Harlem sidekick causes Hall to think twice about this fight, and he rolls out! Back in, Booker slaps Hall - so Hall throws some stiff right hands. A clothesline takes Scott down, and Booker gets 2. Booker nails a back elbow, and puts on an armbar. Booker nails a mule kick, but is quickly caught with a fallaway slam. Booker rolls out, but Hall follows, and powers Booker back to the ring apron. Back in, Hall stomps away. A corner clothesline knocks Booker down, and Hall starts in with the paintbrushing. Booker tries a dropkick, but misses, and Hall drops an elbow for 2. The sleeper is applied, but Booker fights back to life - and suddenly the fans are distracted by something. Itís likely something in the crowd, because nobody hits the ring, and Booker escapes with a jawbreaker! Hall comes back with a clothesline that causes Booker to turn inside out for 2. Back to the paintbrushing. Hall starts with chops, but Booker comes back with a boot to the gut and axekick! Another Harlem sidekick works its magic, and Booker backdrops Hall! Spinaroonie, Booker goes up...but Hall shoves the ref into the way of the missile dropkick!!! A second ref hits the ring and awards this to Booker at 7:14. *** Booker dumps Hall over the top rope, causing Hall to crash hard - and he celebrates his win.
THE GIANT vs. LEX LUGER
MICHAEL BUFFER seems confused during the intros, since he was expecting to see Bret Hart. Giant mocks Lugerís posing before the match, and Luger responds by GIGGLING HIS PECS! Giant misses a big punch, and Luger pounds him down in the corner. A big boot takes down Luger, and Giant drops an elbow. A massive headbutt is dropped on Lugerís groin, and a second one to the skull. Luger is choked out in the ropes. Giant hits a side Russian legsweep, and drops another elbow. For fun, Giant starts standing on Lugerís throat, which canít be particularly comfortable. Giant whips Luger to the buckle, and drops a knee when he falls. Luger is dumped outside, Giant follows, and gorilla presses him back into the ring! Giant continues to shove Luger around, so Luger starts to hulk up. He hits 3 running clotheslines, but he fails to knock Giant down, and Giant calls for the chokeslam!!! Luger escapes with a jawbreaker, slams Giant, and calls for the Rack! BRET HART absolutely rushes down the aisle to save, safety rail in hand, and the referee calls for a DQ at 8:01! 1/4* Hart drives the rail into Lugerís leg over and over. Sharpshooter is applied...but GOLDBERG is here! SPEAR for Giant!!!! He goes for Bret, but Bret moves - and he nails Luger!!!!!!! And WE are out of time! Goodnight!
I usually don't do this, but this was the Nitro that caused my wife to think I was enough of a writer to send her second email (which I responded to with my first marriage proposal - luckily for me she was a girl and I was straight!) so here's the link to one of my most favouritest recaps: http://slashwrestling.com/nitro/981102.html
When it seems like the whole world is full of idiots, maybe your standards are a bit high. - Guru Zim
Wuzzat also the first team you busted out the Pretzels line? I didn't go back and forage through previous recaps, but the in depth explination would indicate just that.... Tie that in with the wife and.....
After the Nitro/Raw reports, I Get Letters was always my favorite read on the internet. I was always sorry that you retired it after starting the EZ Board. I remember sending you a few e-mails at the time hoping for its re-instatement, but I remember you saying the boards would allow the people to comment in a more efficient way (or something like that).
Re-reading these Nitro reports and the letters that they inspired six years down the line provided the most laughs wrestling-wise I've had in a while. They should hot shot a three way match at Mania between Snitsky, Heidenreich and Jerry Flynn in "the Block", now that's sports entertainment!
(edited by NickBockwinkelFan on 29.3.05 1851) "Well, you can't involve friendship with business. It has to be one or the other. It's either business or friendship, or hit the bricks!" --Life Lessons from "The Tao of Bobby the Brain Heenan" Uncensored 2000 preview
"As long as the check don't bounce, I guess he's okay with it!" --Former All Pro Giants LB Harry Carson on Bill Parcells joining the hated rival Dallas Cowboys
After reading that, I'd like to declare Albert B. Ching as some kind of American Hero. Unless he's from Canada. But that's like North America or something, so it can still count. If he's from Europe, though, screw all this.