I’M JUST CURIOUS: Has *anyone* received their NWA TNA DVDs yet? I pre-ordered mine back on October 15th, and despite numerous e-mails to them since that time, I’ve received no response.
TNA makes my teeth grind… I’d rather watch the company who inspired them.
And with that, WCW Monday Nitro is LIVE!!! Hello once again TONY SCHIAVONE and LARRY ZBYSZKO! We are 2 weeks removed from the Great American Bash, and lord only knows what’s going to take place! Talk turns to The Renegade and Joe Gomez, for reasons that completely elude me. Oh, and later tonight, Scott Norton gets a shot against The Giant.
Over the last two weeks, we’ve had some interruptions. Here’s a look at last week, where Sting got into the face of Razor Ramon, so Razor threw his toothpick at him. “Okay tough guy, I got a big surprise for you next week!” Tony wonders just what this big surprise might be…
BOOKER T vs. SCOTT STEINER
We lockup, and Steiner drives Booker back to the corner. Booker escapes, and hiptosses him. Scott whines about his mullet being tugged, and takes Booker down with a shoulderblock. They fight over a backslide, and Steiner’s power just launches Booker completely over his head. Booker lands on his feet – and lands again off and attempted belly to back, but can’t avoid a tiger bomb!!! Atomic drop leaves Booker staggering, and he gets clotheslined over the top to the floor. Back in, Steiner charges Booker in the corner, but takes a boot to the face. Booker nails the axekick and gets a 2. Tony announces that due to the matches between the Steiners and Fire and Ice that have gone without a winner, including one this past Saturday night, that at the Great American Bash they will fight again and this time there MUST be a winner! Booker comes off the top with a crossbody block and scores a 2 count. Booker attempts a vertical suplex, but Steiner hangs on, lands on his feet, and hits a Slop Drop! Both men get back to their feet, with Booker taking a backdrop. Steiner positions Booker in the corner, mounts him, and gets in 5 shots before being shoved off. Belly to belly from Steiner! Booker is thrown into the ropes, Steiner attempts the Frankensteiner, but Booker hooks the ropes and Steiner falls flat on his back. Steiner stands, and takes a nasty Harlem sidekick!!! 1, 2, Steiner manages to kick out. 110th Street Slam is good, but a big splash off the top misses. Steiner comes back with an overhead belly to belly, and scores the pinfall! (5:53) **3/4 I wish they’d been given another 10 minutes to play with, but what can ya do? Pepboys provides the replay.
JIMMY HART gets in a word right before commercial. “Scott Norton, after the Giant chokeslammed you last week on Nitro, I can’t believe you’re coming back for a double dose! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
This portion of WCW Monday Nitro is brought to you by the aforementioned Pepboys.
Upon return, MEAN GENE has torn himself away from the open bar long enough to sneak in a word with SCOTT STEINER. Steiner says he prides himself on being part of the top tag-team in the world. DEBRA MCMICHAEL wanders down and wants the interview time. Steiner, pre-roid rage (but certainly not pre-roids) allows her the time. Debra says she’s concerned about her husband and Kevin Greene this Sunday, and that someone might be permanently hurt. She says this is all her fault, and Gene cuts her off stating Flair started this. Debra still wants to arrange a meeting before the match takes place. Gene promises to get a word with Bobby Heenan, and arrange a meeting for everyone involved in that match on Sunday.
JIM POWERS vs. DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE (for the lord of the ring)
Zbyszko is of the belief that Mongo sent Debra out to do the talking for him. Powers wrings the arm of Page, and Page backs off. Someone in the crowd mouths off, so Page retorts, giving Powers a chance to roll him up for 2. Powers gets a second rollup for another close 2. A crossbody from Powers gets another 2. Page comes back and floats over with a Greco-roman hairpull and takes down Powers. Page scoops up Powers, and delivers a gutwrench gutbuster, and follows with an elbow to the back of the head for 2. Powers comes back by slamming Page’s head into the turnbuckle 10 times, and Page sells like it’s death. Fist to the midsection, running kneelift, dropkick, Tony freaks out, 1, 2, Page kicks out. Page comes back with a back elbow, hits the Diamond Cutter, and we’ve got a winner. (4:03) ** Page does the self-high five for fun.
Here’s a video package about the Horsemen! Chris Benoit confronted Arn Anderson after Flair lost the World Title to The Giant asking Arn where he was? Kevin Sullivan stirred the pot within the group. Here’s a look back at Superbrawl with Brian Pillman! “I repect you…bookerman.” Sullivan recruited Arn to help him out, further putting tension within the group. Sullivan vs. Benoit – Falls Count Anywhere, this Sunday at the Great American Bash!
Konan (yes, that’s how they spelled it) is a newcomer to WCW, but has already captured the United States Title from great former champion One Man Gang. And after a brief video package, MEAN GENE’s getting a word with KONAN. On Sunday, Konan is going to face El Gato, the South American superstar! Konan promises victory.
MENG vs. STING
Now we’re talking! I’m also taking this opportunity to break into my bottle of TGIF Mudslide, taking shots #1 and #2… More as Tony speaks. The boys lock up, and Meng drives Sting back to the corner. They break, and Meng lays in about 6000 body shots. Sting retaliates with a backdrop, before missing a dropkick. Meng drops a elbow and chokes away. Rake of the eyes, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp. Sting comes back with a crossbody for 2. Shot #3! Sting starts in with the running clotheslines before driving Meng down face first to the mat. Meng sneaks in a small package for 2. Sting comes back with a schoolboy for 2. Meng is right back up and hits a shoulderbreaker. Meng heads to the top rope, but Sting gets up and crotches the beast! Meng falls, and Sting slaps on a Scorpion Deathlock. Meng taps. Bah. (3:09) *1/4 That could have been so much more.
STEVEN REGAL drops in quickly, promising to bring some class into our miserable lives. I always appreciate the effort Willie!
WCW Monday Nitro is brought to you by new Super Soakers (wetter is better!), MoneyGram, and Formula 2001!
MEAN GENE has brought together BOBBY HEENAN and DEBRA MCMICHAEL. Heenan suggests that Debra’s been talking to Flair every night for the past week (burn!), but agrees to allow her into the Horsemen locker room. Heenan slams the door behind him, and seconds later Debra’s screaming her lungs out. Debra goes bolting out the door, JOE GOMEZ comes running over, and the Horsemen stomp away at him. Flair applies a Figure Four for fun while Arn gets in the stomping.
SQUIRE DAVID TAYLOR (with Jeeves) vs. JIM DUGGAN
The presence of Jim Duggan allows #5 to go down with ease. At this rate, I’ll sleep well tonight. Duggan tries to get the crowd to chant USA. I smell a workrate nightmare. They lockup, and Taylor gets in the first shot, a forearm. Duggan comes back with a series of clotheslines. Tony announces due to the injury from Gomez, Flair and Anderson will be getting a tag-team title shot instead against Sting and Lex Luger. Taylor gets a running kneelift, and chokes out Duggan on the ropes. Taylor attempts a springboard crossbody, and I wonder what alternate world I’ve wandered in to! He misses, Duggan tries a pinfall, but Taylor gets a foot on the ropes. Duggan whips out his tape, wraps his fist, and nails Taylor with the loaded fist. Down he goes, let’s count a long, 1, 2, 3. (2:25) * The alcohol is clearly setting in because I LIKED that. Nitro is far more fun this way. #6!
Mysterio! Malenko! Here’s some highlights of both guys. Lots of Eddie, Benoit, and hey, was that Lizmark Jr.? They’ll be at the Great American Bash, and you will love it.
BIG BUBBA is going to be at the Great American Bash as well, and he’s standing with his manager JIMMY HART, and MEAN GENE. Last week, John Tenta shocked the world by announcing he’s not a fish or an avalanche, but in fact a man. I know my head exploded. Bubba promises to prove that Tenta’s only a half man, and will leave him laying like the beached whale he is.
MEAN GENE is quick for an old guy, appearing on the ramp after the commercial, and introduces SCOTT NORTON. I introduce shot #7. Norton says he’s not afraid of the chokeslam, and is ready to take on The Giant one more time. With that, we’re off!
SCOTT NORTON vs. THE GIANT (with Jimmy Hart) (for the WCW world heavyweight title)
A clock appears to let us know the number of seconds left in the first hour, which means the end of Schiavone and the introduction of ERIC BISCHOFF with BOBBY HEENAN, which isn’t much better. Fireworks explode and a train whistle goes off. Good lord. “We have redefined live television Heenan!” Norton attacks right off the bell, which proves to be about the dumbest thing he could have done, immediately taking a slam. The Giant chokes him out with the big boot, but Norton escapes and hits an avalanche! A second attempt meets the boot dead on, so Norton rolls out. Giant follows, and they brawl outside. Norton charges, Giant sidesteps, and Norton hits the ringpost. CHOKESLAM on the concrete!!!! Back in, 1, 2, 3. (1:41) * LEX LUGER runs in to attack his pay-per-view opponent, but gets the shit kicked out of him. Giant sets up a table to chokeslam Luger through it again, but Luger lowblows him and smacks him with a champagne bucket. He runs to the broadcast booth while Giant roars. Luger says the rulebook is out the window, and he’s got a lot more to dish out. I’ve got a lot more to dish out as well… #8!
THE NASTY BOYS made DENNIS RODMAN an official Nasty Boy on Some Show.
On The Tonight Show with JAY LENO, KEVIN GREENE got to promote his match. We come back live, and Bischoff’s grinning like the Cheshire Cat, likely due to the non-stop marketing.
BILLY KIDMAN vs. LORD STEVEN REGAL (with Jeeves)
CHRIST ALMIGHTY!!!! EAT A SANDWICH BILLY! I swear to god, that’s the skinniest man I’ve seen in wrestling since CG Afi was prancing around as Lodi’s fan. That image requires a shot (#9). Regal lays in on Kidman immediately with a bunch of uppercuts, and drops down an elbowdrop. Kidman comes back with a dropkick and rollup for 2. Tornado bulldog takes Regal down, and a 450 splash(!!!!) misses! Overhead butterfly suplex drops Kidman on his head, and a standing figure four is enough to make Kidman tap. (0:54) 1/2* STING runs in, decks Regal, and runs away just as quickly.
THE NASTY BOYS vs. PUBLIC ENEMY
No opening bell here. Kind of weak, only a pier 1 brawl. We take double vision for this match to try to keep up. Saggs throws a wooden chair at Rocco. In the ring, Knobbs hits a clothesline from the middle rope onto Grunge. The fans chant “NASTY” as the referee tries to maintain control. Knobbs runs Grunge into the corner, and both Nastys work him over. Double digits are obtained with yet another shot. I’m running out…bah. A double team by the Enemy fails, and Saggs takes ‘em out with a double team clothesline. Knobbs tries an avalanche, but takes a boot from Grunge instead. Everyone gets in, and a fight erupts again. Saggs hits one HELL of a piledriver on Grunge just as we head off for a break.
While forwarding the commercials, I felt the need to take #11.
BLOOD RUNS COLD! Coming to WCW. #12, just for being exposed to the idea of Glacier.
Back we are! Grunge hits a clothesline, and the Public Enemy wave their hands like they just don’t care. Knobbs makes the slow crawl to the ropes, but is facing the wrong way. Knobbs decks Rock, which brings him in and they hit a double team elbow. Knobbs comes back with a clothesline, and tags in Saggs. Saggs slams Grunge into the turnbuckle and hits an avalanche, followed by a powerslam for 2. The Nastys both come in, as does the Public Enemy, and the Nastys clean house. Rock has enough, and walks to the back. What’s with that??? Grunge unwraps his broken arm in the meantime, and does nothing while Knobbs throws him into the guardrail. Rock returns! And he’s not alone! Coming down the ringside with his is the former tag-team partner of Duke Droese: The garbage can! Nothing promptly happens. Rock gets slammed by Saggs, Knobbs goes for a splash, but he’s tossed off by Grunge. Rock tries a cover, but only gets 2. Saggs takes out Grunge on the floor, and then NAILS Rock on the top rope with a garbage can! We have a DQ. (8:58) *1/4
Because we couldn’t POSSIBLY go a week without hearing the name of Hulk Hogan, here’s a video package dedicated to him. Lots of clips of Hogan beating on Vader, and I CAN’T imagine WHY they’d choose to air that. I need a drink. #13!
Promotional consideration paid for by Croissant Pockets (WHADDAYA GONNA PICK?), Blistex, and Mag-Lite.
#14 marks the end of my bottle…. Hrmph.
Here’s a look back at the exciting Crazy Watch of Randy Savage. After he was suspended, Savage was brought back to WCW as the coach of McMichael and Greene for their match against Flair and Anderson. In retaliation, Flair and Anderson called on the services of Bobby Heenan.
STING and LEX LUGER vs. ARN ANDERSON and RIC FLAIR (with Woman and Elizabeth) (for the WCW world tag-team titles)
Into the backup stuff I go. Can of Bud #1. (It’s a work night, I’m at a complete loss as to what’s prompting this, except perhaps the hope of a more entertaining Nitro recap. The only problem is, everytime I do something stupid, like rate Norton and Giant *****, and then follow by rating Kidman and Regal *****1/4, or spend 9 paragraphs making stuff up that didn’t actually happen, I go and edit it… I get the feeling this is counter productive and I’m simply gonna wind up with a run of the mill Nitro recap and feeling crappy at 6:30am. But I digress…) Flair gets bouncy, and bounces right into Sting, who shoves his ass to the mat. Luger starts out with Flair. Flair chops away, but Luger no sells, and roars. Flair gets press slammed, and run over with a couple of clotheslines. Flair DIVES to make a tag…but tags Sting, who decks him. Arn points him in the right direction, so Flair rolls out to the floor where it’s safe. Back in, Luger press slams Flair again, before whipping him into the turnbuckle to do a Flair flip. Flair runs across the apron to the other side…meeting Sting for a second time, and Sting decks him again, sending Flair to the floor. Flair gets back to the apron, and gets suplexed back in by Luger. Luger gets to cocky, and misses an elbowdrop. Flair tags out, and in comes Anderson. Sting comes in on the other side, so Arn puts on the brakes. Bischoff crows about the Nitro parties taking place all over the country. I’ll admit that back in 1999, on a school trip to Toronto, we invited basically every guy on the trip to our room to have a RAW party, so truth be told, things like that DID exist. It was broken up during the Mark Henry/Viscera Gorilla Press Slam challenge match though. Damn teachers. Arn gets in a few shoulderblock, but Sting knocks him down shortly thereafter. Arn tries to take Sting down to the mat, but Sting continually nips up. Sting plants Arn with a facebuster, so Flair comes in and gets slammed. Flair runs over to his VIP section, grabs a chair, but puts it down before he does anything with it. Arn calls for timeout on the floor, and Bischoff calls for one from the booth!
We’re back. Sting’s busy making a cover on Arn and gets 2 for it. Flair comes in and chops at the no-selling Sting. Sting whips Flair, but misses a Stinger Splash! Flair slams Sting, goes up, and gets caught as usual. Sting then goes up and hits a clothesline for 2. Flair is put on the top rope, and Sting hits a superplex!!! It only gets 1 before Arn is in to break it up. Anderson chokes Sting out in the ropes before delivering a spinebuster for 2! Arn fights too hard to keep Sting down, bouncing around, and gives Sting a chance to crotch him with his knees, which he does. Flair gets in quickly and chops Sting down for 2. A backdrop suplex fails, and Sting rolls up Flair for 2. Flair attempts a Figure Four, but Sting cradles him…with the ref distracted. He turns, 1, 2, Flair kicks out! Bischoff calls for ANOTHER commercial break.
This portion of WCW is brought to you by Pepboys.
We return to Flair whipping Sting into the guardrail. Back in, Sting tries a sunset flip and gets 2 out of the deal. I think that Bud #1 is my last one on a work night… Even irresponsible 21-year olds need limits. They trade nearfall, with Sting bridging out of a tough one, getting a backslide, but only a 1 because Arn was quickly in. Sting does manage to tag out however, and Luger’s in. Flair’s chopping does no good, and he gets press slammed. Clothesline, powerslam, 1, 2, Flair kicks out. Both Horsemen come in, and Luger dumps them both with a dual clothesline. THE GIANT comes down for some reason and we have a DQ. (13:50) **1/2 Giant dominates Luger, but SCOTT STEINER comes in and isn’t going to stand for it. All 3 hammer away at The Giant, and The Giant is called off by JIMMY HART.
On the ramp, MEAN GENE demands a word with Giant. “Luger, you’re a dead man. You want to be in Baltimore, you want to be in the ring with a Giant, your rules baby… I promise you’re going to go out on a stretcher.”
In the broadcast booth, BOBBY HEENAN throws a shit fit! Suddenly, RAZOR RAMON shows up, and Heenan bails! Bischoff: “I don’t want any trouble with you here now, but I want to point out that you came out here last week… So where is it, the big surprise. I heard a lot of talk, so where’s the walk. What? Where is he?” And then out of nowhere, DIESEL is behind Bischoff!!!! Ramon messes with Bischoff’s hair. “You’ve been sitting out here for 6 months running your mouth. This is where the Big Boys play huh? Look at the adjective…play. We aren’t here to play. Now he said last week that he was gonna bring somebody out here. I’m here. You still don’t have your 3 people, and you know why? Because nobody wants to face us. This show is about as interesting as Marge Schott reading excerpts from Mien Kauf. No trouble, because I’ll kick your teeth down your throat. Where’s your 3 guys? What, you couldn’t get a palaeontologist to get a couple of these fossils cleared, you ain’t got enough guys off a dialysis machine to get a team? Where’s Hogan? Off filming another episode of Blunder In Paradise? Where’s Savage? Doing another Slim Jim commercial? Come on, we’re here! You wanna say something?” “Look I don’t have the authority right here and right now. The fight isn’t with me. You want 3 guys, tomorrow morning at 9:00 o’clock, I’ll be in Atlanta, I’ll be at the Offices of WCW, I’ll try and get you your fight. And you know what? Live, this Sunday in Baltimore at Great American Bash, you guys wanna show up, you guys wanna fight, you show up and I’ll see if I can get you your fight.” “I don’t know about you, but they love us in Baltimore.” “Hey big Mang, I say me and you, we be at the Bash, maybe these punks wanna fight.” “Bring what you’ve got, the measuring stick just changed around here and you’re looking at it.” Bischoff makes the international signal of “CUT DAMMIT!” and we fade…
Chapter Eleven: “Von Hess Is a Jew?” -OK, explain this to me. Von Hess is a Jew? -Naturally, why else would his family have left Germany in 1933. -I just figured that his father didn’t want to live in a country run by a raving mad man.