It’s October, and nothing screams October more than a fun filled 3 hours of Halloween Havoc. Taboo Tuesday? Pffft, it’s got NOTHING on this stuff!
A highlight package pretty much sums up everything that’s gone on from the storyline perspective in WCW since May. The Outsiders started annoying the piss out of Eric Bischoff with veiled threats of a takeover, to the point WCW had a 3-on-3 match to get rid of them. Hulk Hogan was the secret third man, revealed at Bash At The Beach, and kicked off one of the largest heel pushes of all time. Bischoff announces the biggest mistake he ever made was bringing Hogan into WCW – and appointed Randy Savage the #1 contender to Hogan’s belt. And now…
We are LIVE from Las Vegas, Nevada in the MGM Grand! Our hosts are the usual crew of TONY SCHIAVONE, DUSTY RHODES, and BOBBY HEENAN. Tony wastes no time in announcing tonight’s World Title match as the biggest of all time, but with Dusty in the booth he’s got hyperbole backup. We talk about Hogan, Hogan, and Hogan for the better part of 2 minutes – but thankfully quickly move on to our opening match…
DEAN MALENKO vs. REY MYSTERIO JR. (for the WCW world cruiserweight title)
This is a rematch of about 900 rematches they’ve had since June…all of them awesome. Dean brings one of Mysterio’s masks to the ring, recently lifted from Rey, just because he can. MIKE TENAY joins the broadcast table as the Small Man Nerd. Malenko stomps Rey even before the bell, and gives him a backdrop suplex because he’s a badass, and gets 2. Proving he meets the main event criteria, Rey is hit with a spinebuster, and turns it into a Texas Cloverleaf! Rey twists until Dean is tossed aside. Tenay suggests that if Rey ever loses his mask, his career is shot. GOOD THING THAT’LL NEVER HAPPEN. Rey attempts a springboard moonsault, but Malenko catches him, but can’t follow up and gets shoved into the turnbuckle. A blind charge leads to the challenger getting a drop toe hold, and Rey follows with a rana. Malenko hits the floor, and nearly gets belted with Rey’s old version of the 619. Dean goes back to the apron, but gets pre-occupied with the mask and takes a dropkick back to the floor. That’s followed by a tope con hilo, and Rey takes back his old mask! It’s put back on without revealing his face, and the fans pop huge. A headscissors takeover rolls right into a pinning predicament, and Rey gets 2! Another rana attempt is blocked, and Rey gets planted with a sidewalk slam. A hotshot sends Rey knee first into the ropes, and Malenko’s in control. Dean works a half crab, but soon turns it into a surfboard. Malenko drops the hold, puts Rey on the top rope, and hits a super belly to back suplex getting 2. A figure four sleeper is worked, and Rey is hanging on with what little life he’s got now. The referee orders a break when Rey gets to the ropes, but Malenko’s ready and gives Rey a vertical suplex for 2. Rey comes back with a rollup out of nowhere, and sneaks in a 2 count before Malenko kicks him in the head again. A backbreaker is on the mark, and Dean doesn’t drop Rey, holding him in the backbreaker position, pushing at the chin looking for a tap. It doesn’t come, so Malenko moves into a camel clutch. That’s followed by another backbreaker, and gets 2. The two fight to the floor, where Malenko drives Rey back first into the ring apron. They head back in, where Dean puts on rear naked choke, and Rey’s fading fast. He hangs on before his arm drops 3 times, but Malenko ensures Rey stays grounded by dropping him back on his head, and going to a sleeper! Again Rey hangs on before his arm gives, and fights out – only to take a knee right to the midsection from Dean. A hammerlock suplex drops Rey on his shoulder, and a crucifix roll up gets a 1 count. Malenko holds it on strong, but eventually releases and fights Rey to the top. Both guys knock each other off the top and fall to the floor! Malenko recovers first, but gets thrown into the guard rail by Rey! Dean comes back with a low blow that is BARELY seen (because Malenko’s sneaky), and rolls Rey back in. A tilt-a-whirl slam is countered in mid-air by Rey, and he falls on top for a 2 count! Rey goes on the apron, headbutts Malenko in the midsection, and hits a springboard somersault Thesz press for 2! A rana attempt is blocked, but Rey manages to get a bridge pin…for 2! Malenko’s had enough, clotheslines Rey, and hits a vertical suplex for another close 2! Dean charges Rey, but Rey sidesteps and sends Malenko out of the ring – and follows with a springboard corkscrew moonsault to the floor!!! Malenko staggers back into the ring, and Rey’s right behind him, with a rana for 2! He calls for the West Coast Pop, but that’s blocked with a NASTY powerbomb…and draws a 2, that EVERYONE had figured was 3! Rey and Malenko find themselves on the top, where Dean fights off a rana, and hits a gutwrench powerbomb for the win and the title at 18:32!!!!! **** Despite Rey losing, the crowd pops HUGE – and Malenko responds by posing with the belt, showing just a hint of emotion.
LEE MARSHALL hangs around in the locker room with JEFF JARRETT, promoting his match with The Giant. Jarrett laughs a whole lot, with the point being he’s not going to be chokeslammed. RIC FLAIR joins the party, and promises to be hosting the meet and greet for all the women who are gonna want a piece of Jarrett after he takes out The Giant.
DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE vs. EDDIE GUERRERO (for the Lord of the Ring)
Page was showing the first real signs of developing into the star he ultimately became – using the Self High Five music here, and displaying a little personality…the stogie aside. NICK PATRICK referees here, while Eddie takes the fight to Page before the bell. Page comes back by taking Eddie out of the ring, and whipping him to the guardrail. Back in, Eddie hiptosses Page around, and kicks him in a Very Uncomfortable Place. With the advantage now, Eddie works a headlock. Page fights out, and hammers Eddie down. Eddie’s not in the mood, and just slaps back on the headlock. Page comes back with a front facelock pin, which Eddie bridges out of and delivers a snapmare. Page winds up caught in the ropes – and Eddie casually kicks him to the floor. Page ducks the baseball slide he’s anticipating, but he’s wrong – because Eddie just jumps behind him and whips him to the guard rail. Back in, Eddie hits a slingshot senton and gets 2. Page comes back with a hotshot, dumping Eddie on the top rope, and Eddie falls to the floor. A double axehandle from Page off the apron hits the mark – and is followed with Eddie being slammed face first to the ringsteps. A whip sends Eddie to the guardrail, and Page gets 2 back inside with his feet on the ropes to boot. A gorilla press drops Eddie on his nose, and DDP drops an elbow on Eddie’s…err, groin. Page hits a gutbuster, but only gets 2. Page works an abdominal stretch, but Eddie fights out only to get hit with a tilt-a-whirl slam for 2. Page and Patrick get into a shoving match over that one, and Patrick shoves Page so hard he falls into a pinfall situation, and Eddie gets 2. Page and Patrick keep shouting, and Patrick waves his finger so hard in Page’s face he begs off in the corner. Page offers the hand of friendship, which Patrick takes, and we’re good. Eddie pokes Page in the eyes immediately after, but winds up on the floor when Page pulls down the ropes during a blind charge. Page rolls Eddie back in, but Eddie schoolboys him for 2! A sunset flip is another 2. Eddie and Page start trading pinfalls back and forth for about a minute before Page just clotheslines Eddie. Page tries to kick Eddie in the face, but Eddie sidesteps and Page does the old “slipped on a banana peel” routine. Eddie mounts Page in the corner, and hammers in 9 shots, finishing with a European uppercut as the knockout blow. Page rolls out, but Eddie’s behind him with a splash from the top rope! Patrick threatens a countout, so we wind up back in the ring where Eddie gets a series of 2’s. Eddie won’t let Page rolls out again, and pays for it with a jawbreaker and flapjack in succession. That gets 2. Page gives Eddie a huge thumb down since Kimberly’s no longer around with the cards, and powerbombs Eddie for 2! Page threatens a Diamond Cutter, and finally hits it at 13:44 to retain the ring! **1/4 Didn’t really click for me, but Page didn’t really hit his stride for about another 6 months. Page poses with his ring and we head to the back.
We see clips of an earlier interview with Savage, threatening Hogan.
DEAN MALENKO stands with MIKE TENAY, and offers a shot at anyone who wants it. “This is mine, it’s gonna stay here, and I’m gonna take on any comers.”
TED DIBIASE and THE GIANT stand in the nWo section of the crowd. Dibiase accuses Jarrett of being an idiot for not joining the nWo instead opting to face The Giant. “You my friend are a total FOOL!” Giant promises to stick Jarrett through the wall, to the floor, and to the ceiling before chokeslamming him through the ring. “Everyone goes to the glue factory!” What the hell?
THE GIANT vs. JEFF JARRETT (with Ric Flair) (in a non-title match)
This is Jarrett’s WCW debut, and the results would be very similar to his WWF re-debut one year later. Tony throws a fit about the fact that NICK PATRICK is refereeing AGAIN, despite having an “injured” shoulder. Patrick also shows off the US Title, which drives Tony nuts because it’s Flair’s and simply stolen by the nWo. Giant shoves Jarrett back to start – but Jarrett dives back on Giant, getting him to stagger around. Jarrett does the Fargo strut, and nails Giant with a right. Jarrett gets cocky though, and applies a side headlock, which leads to a nasty scoop slam by Giant. A hiptoss sends Jarrett halfway across the ring. Jarrett comes back with a sleeper by leaping right onto The Giant’s back, and Giant struggles to have the hold released. He manages to back into the corner to shake Jarrett, but misses a butt splash attempt. Jarrett takes the advantage, and gives us a 10 punch count-a-long. Jarrett hops down, and eats a Big Boot, which gets 2. Giant drops an elbow while Flair grabs a chair and skulks around the ringside area. A backbreaker is delivered to Jarrett, while Flair cheers on Jarrett from the house mic. A crossbody is attempted by Jarrett, but he’s caught in midair and hit with 2 consecutive backbreakers. Giant just starts throwing Jarrett around the ring now, and threatens to break him in half. We move into a bearhug, and Jarrett’s barely hanging in. He manages to throw enough punches to force a break, and hits 2 beautiful dropkicks hit Giant in the face!!! Stupidly, he goes for a scoop slam, and Giant falls on top, giving the big man a 2. Jarrett’s not done though, and throws a top rope double axehandle to stagger Giant, and follows with a top rope crossbody for 2! The figure four is called for…but Giant shoves him aside with a big kick, and Jarrett tumbles to the floor. Giant follows, and blindly charges Jarrett, running face first to the post! Jarrett calls for the figure four on the floor – and applies it! However, Giant simply sits up, and goes for the Chokeslam. Flair can’t stands no more, since this is the EXACT scenario we ran through in April when he lost the belt to Giant, and delivers a lowblow, drawing a DQ at 9:55. 3/4* CHRIS BENOIT, ARN ANDERSON, and MONGO MCMICHAEL hit the ring and dare Giant to try 5-on-1, but he opts to leave instead, letting us know “YOUR DAY IS COMING!” which was likely directed at Flair.
Back in the nWo section, TED DIBIASE gloats about their first win of the evening. VINCENT and SYXX are with him now. Dibiase promises that win #2 is coming up next, because the best cruiserweight in the world is up against Chris Jericho. Syxx quickly adds that he’s going to be the cruiserweight champion very, very soon.
SYXX vs. CHRIS JERICHO
NICK PATRICK, really working that rehab program, is still refereeing. Jericho takes Syxx down immediately and gets 2. Syxx nips up and applies a headlock. He releases, and takes Jericho down with a shoulderblock. They start running back and forth, dodging each other’s holds – and we pan the crowd to find BIG BUBBA, KONNAN, and KEVIN SULLIVAN sitting together. Back in the ring, Jericho takes down Syxx with a shoulderblock, and monkey flips him into the ropes. Jericho’s favorite move, the armbar, is applied. Upon release, chops begin being thrown. Jericho heads up, but gets dropkicked by Syxx, and falls to the outside. Syxx nails a baseball slide dropkick sending Jericho to the guard rail, and Syxx hits a tope con hilo! Back in, Syxx stomps a mudhole and starts his own chops. Syxx hits his patented three kick combo, and pretends to light one up and put it out. An enzuigiri is good, and Jericho is positioned on the edge of the apron. Syxx chokes Jericho out, and follows with an elbow off the top to the throat! Back in, Syxx blind charges and hits the corner instead of Chris. Jericho follows with a dropkick, and a spinkick that sends Syxx outside! Springboard crossbody hits the mark, and Jericho quickly follows with a whip to the guard rail. They head back in, where Jericho hits a back elbow off the top rope for a very slow 2. Syxx retaliates with snake eyes, and goes up! Jericho fights off whatever Syxx was planning with a dropkick, and Patrick counts insanely slow for 2. Jericho hits a Lionsault, bridges back on Syxx – and covers for a LONG time, only drawing a 1 from Patrick! A springboard crossbody again draws nothing but a slow arm from Patrick, this time a 2. Jericho’s had enough and starts throwing a fit, allowing Syxx to sneak in a spinning heel kick for a quick and easy 3 at 9:52! *3/4 That match kinda stunk, considering the competitors. Jericho threatens violence on Patrick, who runs and helps Syxx to the back.
MIKE TENAY meets up with LEX LUGER in the back. Luger says he didn’t want to fight Arn Anderson, he accepted that it’s his fault they lost War Games. However, he’s tired of Arn running his mouth, and promises a Total Package we’ve never seen before.
ARN ANDERSON vs. LEX LUGER
The announcers speculate that Sting may be in the building, considering offers from the nWo. Arn pounds away at Luger’s back to start, and rakes him across the ropes. He delivers a chop block to take Luger down, and stomps away. Luger comes back by ROARING and press slams Arn! A running clothesline sends Arn to the floor, and Luger poses. Off the apron, Luger delivers a double axehandle and runs Arn into the post. Back in, Arn gets slammed while the three DUNGEON OF DOOM members in the crowd cheer for Lex to break Arn’s back. Luger hits a backbreaker, and gets 2. In the corner, Luger hangs Arn out to dry, and kicks away the back. Arn comes back with an awesome spinebuster from nowhere! He follows that by shoving Luger to the floor, and follows close behind. Luger takes a whip to the guard rail and Arn stomps at Lex’s back. Arn heads back in, but doesn’t allow Luger in – kicking away at him as he stands on the apron, knocking him outside again. Luger rolls in slowly, and Arn drops the knee a dozen times to Luger’s back. Arn moves into an abdominal stretch, and cheats –because he’s Arn Anderson. He releases, goes for a DDT…but Luger holds the top rope, and Arn goes crashing to the mat! He’s glazed over, goes for a clothesline, but stops short of accidentally clocking MARK CURTIS, however Arn has NO problems shoving Luger into the ref, knocking him out. Arn heads out to get a chair, but it’s blocked – and Luger catapults Arn into the ring post face first. Luger hits a vertical suplex on the floor, grabs the chair, and starts beating on Arn something fierce. They head back in just as the referee wakes up – and Luger calls for the Rack! The move is applied, and Arn gives almost immediately at 12:17! *1/2 Luger isn’t letting go though, and holds it for another 25 seconds after the final bell – retaliation for the Horsemen letting Luger take a beating at Fall Brawl. RIC FLAIR, showing a great deal of concern, walks quickly to the ring. Quickly, he along with some other TRAINERS and DOUG DILLENGER are hanging over Arn, who isn’t moving. He’s rolled onto a gurney, and we cut to the back before we have to watch much more…
LEE MARSHALL has found his way into HARLEM HEAT’s locker room. SISTA SHERRI and COLONEL PARKER are around as well. Booker T promises to jump the nWo home style, and Stevie Ray concurs. Yup, that’s it.
THE FACES OF FEAR (with Jimmy Hart) vs. MONGO MCMICHAEL and CHRIS BENOIT (with Debra McMichael, Woman, and The Haliburton)
Tony tells us to tune into Nitro to find out just how injured Arn Anderson is! God bless Tony. Meng and Mongo start. We get dual shoulderblocks, and nobody’s moving. Mongo tries a clothesline, but Meng no sells – so he comes out of the three point stands and LEVELS Meng! Meng’s back up in short order anyway, and tags in Barbarian. Benoit takes him on, and gets choked back to the corner. A tombstone attempt is blocked, and Benoit hits a bridge suplex for 2! He headbutts Barbarian which does more damage him himself than Barbarian! Barbarian goes for a Boston crab, but Benoit fights out and chops his way back to his corner to tag back in Mongo. Meng wants a piece, and comes in. Meng fights Mongo back to the corner, beats on him like nuts and hiptosses the man. Mongo retaliates with 3 chop blocks, but Meng isn’t feeling anything – delivering a superkick. The Faces Of Fear hit duplicate headbutts, and Barbarian comes in full tilt with a scoop slam. Back to Meng, who kicks at Mongo. Mongo comes back with a dropkick attempt, which Meng swats away. He misses a standing senton splash, giving Mongo a chance to roll away at tag in Benoit. He promptly gets backdropped by Meng onto Barbarian’s shoulders who powerbombs Benoit for 2! What a killer tag-team move… Meng comes back in, and chokes out Benoit on the ropes. Barbarian puts Benoit on the top, but Benoit fights him off with 5 headbutts. It matters not, because Barbarian is RIGHT back up, and hits an overhead belly to belly superplex!!! That’s followed by a double headbutt, which gets 2 for Meng before Mongo saves. Barbarian delivers a vertical suplex, and Meng follows RIGHT behind the move with a splash off the top rope…and again only gets 2! Mongo’s seen enough, and manages to pull Meng close enough to the side of the ring and wallops him with the Haliburton out of sight from the referee. Benoit hits a flying headbutt on the now fallen Meng, and gets 3 at 9:25! **1/4, every one of those stars for the double team moves from the Faces Of Fear. Needless to say, the islanders are FAR from happy, and LOSE it! Barbarian takes out Mongo with the Haliburton, and THE DUNGEON OF DOOM hits the ring as well! Konnan grabs Woman while Meng gives Mongo a spike piledriver!!! Benoit fights off everyone single handedly, but eventually he succumbs to the power of 6-on-1… Sullivan is in with shots from the Haliburton on Benoit, and Big Bubba gives him a spinebuster. Woman screams at Sullivan to stop, so Sullivan responds by taking off his clothes. Ugh. “I’ll show you why I’m still the man!” He starts kicking the crap out of Benoit, and if you look closely you’ll notice a small blue bracelet on his now exposed wrist – indicating he’s an escapee from a hospital. The Dungeon heads off while Woman cries over the fallen Benoit.
Back in the crowd, TED DIBIASE reminds everyone that the nWo is 2-0 on the evening. He figures a lot of guys are gonna be saying “we’ll get ‘em next time” in the morning, but promises the nWo doesn’t need more than one shot to get the deed done. And with that, we move to…
THE OUTSIDERS vs. HARLEM HEAT (with Sista Sherri and Colonel Parker) (for the WCW world tag-team titles)
The Outsiders steal the tag-team titles from MARK CURTIS and pose with the belts before the match. Booker T starts with Scott Hall, who does the “I’m so scared” finger wiggling. Booker takes him down with a hiptoss, and calls for more. Hall comes at him, and takes a sidekick. Hall slowly thinks over his strategy, and takes Booker down with a shoulderblock. Booker comes back with a hammerlock, but it’s reversed by Hall. Booker escapes, and dumps Hall with a hiptoss to the outside! Stevie Ray runs him over with a clothesline, and Sherri kicks away. They head back in, where Stevie Ray tags in…and Hall spits in his face. Stevie looks ready to kill, but he can’t before Nash comes in. Nash gives him a series of knee lifts and corner elbows. Stevie comes back with a clothesline to Nash, and spits right back on Hall. He pounds down Nash, and stomps at Nash’s head. Sherri sneaks in an eye rake, and Booker comes in with the axe kick! It gets 2 before Nash throws Booker right off. Nash delivers a sidewalk slam, and turns it back over to Hall. Hall hits a top rope bulldog, and gets 2! Booker comes back with a clothesline, and Stevie Ray follows with a flying jalapeno for 2. Booker tags in. Nash clubs Booker in the back of the head, Hall follows with a clothesline and gets a 2 count. Nash tags in, and hits the big boot. Back to Hall who hits a chokeslam, but Stevie breaks up a potential pinning situation. Hall simply follows with a fallaway slam on Booker – but now Sherri gets involved. She slaps Hall, who responds by shoving his tongue down her throat! He lets go, and walks right into a spinning heel kick from Booker. Hall isn’t phased, and applies a sleeper. Booker manages to reverse, but he gets atomic dropped on the ropes. Hall goes for a pin using the ropes, and gets 2. Hall and Booker head off the ropes, and collide mid ring. Stevie gets the hot tag and starts taking out the Outsiders to NO reaction. A gorilla press slam of Hall onto Nash get a little something from the crowd, and Stevie dumps Nash. Booker hits the Harlem Hangover on Hall, but Nash is back in – as is Colonel Parker! Parker runs face to face with Nash, and hands over his cane rather than get his ass kicked. Parker skips town, while Nash beats the holy bejeezus out of Stevie. Hall rolls over, and scores the pinfall at 13:09 to claim their first tag-team title! ** Booker protests due to the use of the cane, but Hall and Nash have been declared the victors – and they pose with the belts in a scene that would be used in video packages for years to come.
World War 3 promo.
HOLLYWOOD HOGAN, complete with his stupid wig from the 3 Ninjas movie he’d been filming, has arrived in the nWo section. Hogan starts by threatening us with the upcoming release of Santa With Muscles, and then turns things over to threatening to slam Randy Savage. And with that, it’s main event time.
HOLLYWOOD HOGAN (with Vincent, Ted Dibiase, and The Giant) vs. RANDY SAVAGE
Hogan parades around like a jackass while MICHAEL BUFFER does the ring intros. Savage is dressed head to toe in Slim Jim ads, because Slim Jim sponsoring Halloween Havoc wasn’t quite enough. He brings with him the Macho Man monster truck, and cuts a promo using the dreaded word “ass”. The Giant is told to take a hike before the match, so we’ve got Hogan and Savage one-on-one. Hogan bails immediately, and tells a kid to “stay in your seat, fatso!” He re-enters, and tries to keep Savage at bay, but when he realizes Savage is ready to kill him – he dives to the safety of the outside. We try again. Hogan finally applies a headlock, and laughs about how devilish he is. He takes down Savage with a shoulderblock, and rolls back out to stall some more. Savage, and the fans find their patience running out. To the corner, Hogan boots Savage in the midsection and takes him down with a double axehandle. Savage gets his face rubbed into the mat, and told “you ain’t nobody!” He hits a running clothesline and struts around the ring. Savage comes back with some punches, and comes off the top with a double axehandle! Savage steals Hogan’s glasses, which freaks Hogan out to the point of begging for mercy. Err, yeah. Hogan wants a handshake and to apologize, but Savage kicks him in the midsection and steals the wig. Savage puts it on and Hogan realizes he’s bald. Yes, I know, what a horrible realization. Hogan falls to the outside, but Savage jumps him in the aisle and forces him to eat the wig. Savage gets a chair and delivers a love tap to Hulk, but a second shot is blocked by the ref – and Hogan runs him over with a clothesline in the distraction. Hogan grabs the chair and slams it over Savage’s back. More posing. Hogan drops Savage testicle first to the guard rail, and MISS ELIZABETH wanders out. In the ring, Hogan’s busy choking out Savage, but he starts mouthing off at Liz – and gets rolled up for a close 2! Savage tries another rollup using the tights, but we get an eyeful of Hogan’s ass – which we REALLY didn’t need. Hogan starts yelling at Liz to get in his corner, while Savage clotheslines him over the top. They run around the ring, where Hogan uses Liz as a shield. Back in, Hogan takes down Savage with a shoulderblock, but Savage comes back with a scoop slam! A running knee sends Hogan back to the floor, but Hogan yanks Savage out with him and we’re back on the floor. For the second time, Hogan uses Liz as a shield, and throws her into Savage before hitting him with a clothesline. Back in, Hogan hits the big boot – and Liz enters the ring. She stands over Savage, blocking Hogan from hitting the big leg drop. Hogan orders her to stay out of the way, reminding her that she belongs to him. He again goes for the big leg drop, but Savage rolls away and it misses the target. Dibiase throws a small pipe to Hogan, which Liz immediately steals. Liz and Hogan start fighting over it – but he forgets about it, goes for a clothesline, and hits the referee by mistake. On the floor, Dibiase wrestles the pipe back, and now NICK PATRICK and MARK CURTIS are asking to ref. Savage gives Hogan a scoop slam, and goes for the big elbow – and Patrick goes to count…only his shoulder separates at 2 and he can’t finish counting. Savage is LIVID and rips off the neck brace – and starts to beat on Patrick. Hogan grabs the pipe, but Savage blocks the shot, steals it, and hits Hogan! He goes for another elbow, only Dibiase stops him. The Giant returns at this point, and throws Savage to the guardrail. Savage takes a chokeslam on the floor, and Giant rolls him in. Hogan is rolled onto Savage, and Patrick makes the count at 18:37 to end the stupidity. * The Giant quickly goes to the back, and returns with a bowl of ice water. He pours it over Hogan to wake him up – who jumps to his feet, and celebrates the retaining of his title.
“Now, is there any question who the real king of Hollywood is? I’m tired of Ted Turner, I’m taking over the WCW. Everybody who gets in the ring with the nWo or Hollywood Hogan is going down. All I’ve got to say to all our nWoites is you’ve caught the right train, cause we’re heading out of town!” Suddenly, bagpipes start playing and RODDY PIPER appears on the stage. Hogan acts like he’s seen a ghost, and hides right behind The Giant.
“Don’t even think about it… Hi!”
“So you’re bored are ya? I come here to break your monotony! Hey sprout, sprout, why don’t you just head back with the jolly green giant and take a break?”
“Whoa whoa, Mr. Piper, there’s a big lack of communication. When I said that I made wrestling, when I said that I own wrestling, and I control wrestling, now that I really think about it, I remember that you and I were running neck and neck.”
“Why don’t you shut up for a second, it’s my turn! I am not here to represent the WCW, the NWA, the SPCA, the SOB, although I can be one SOB when I wanna be!”
“Be careful, be real careful…”
“Yeah, I made a lot of money being real careful. I’ll tell ya something there Charlie Brown, you’ve been saying if it wasn’t for you, professional wrestling wouldn’t be what it is today. Boy have I got news for you! I come to you for a reality check there partner. I come because you see, I’m just as big an icon in this sport as you are! I am just as big a Hollywood movie star as you are! You know, let me have my piece because I’m shooting with this one folks, I don’t care man. I’m a multi-millionaire too! I started fighting pro when I was 15 years old, I’ve had over 6000 professional matches, I’ve been stabbed 3 times… Sit back sprout, sit back. SHUT YOUR MOUTH, let me have the floor, I’ve caught your act! Where were you when I was 15 years old when I was taking on all comers in my garage? Where were you, playing bass guitar in Tootsie’s bar and grill? Huh? Where were you, shut up…”
“You know something Piper, I’m gonna call a spade a spade. We ran together, the heck with the backstory, we fought together, and I don’t have a problem with you because okay, you’ve been out in Hollywood making the movies, becoming a multimillionaire, I have to think back and give the devil his due, we ran neck and neck.”
“No no, not yet… You remember Wrestlemania? Tell me something. If I hadn’t knocked out Mr. T, took on the New York City police department, chased Dick Clark back, had my way with Liberace, if they didn’t hate me so much do you think they’d have been cheering you so much? Shut up, I ain’t finished! Do you know what bothers you? I’m the only guy you have never been able to beat! And I’ll tell you something else. You’re gonna admit it. I am as big an icon as you in this sport, and whether you want to say it or not at least have the nuts to put your hand out and shake my hand and admit it isn’t you that brought all these people here…that it was all these people here who made you! Now, I’ll be glad to!”
“Let me tell you something Piper. We’ve had wars to settle the score which didn’t get settled, and I thought you took off with your family and were at peace with yourself. But now that I see you face to face, me being the honest man that I am, yes I admit you’re just as big a superstar as I am.”
“Then straighten up.”
Piper and Hogan shake hands, and Piper starts heading off to the back…
“Oh by the way Piper, when you go the bathroom, you’re supposed to squat in that one.”
“Let me tell you something…”
”No, I’ve had enough, let me tell YOU something. You’re messing with Hollywood Hogan and the nWo. You step back into my world, and I can still see you’ve got the makeup on your face brother, and the way it goes when I look in your eyes, maybe we need to have the war that never settled the score.”
“I’m the reason you don’t have any hair!”
“Your day is coming Piper! Come on Giant!”
Ladies and gentlemen, start your buildup to Starrcade 1996.
Seriously, broseph, I was reading this and while I was reading I was also laughing really hard at the same time. Then as a bonus, the /Weekend with the Original beloved babyface tagteam reference was named one of the 80 Best Articles of the Year.