Whew... I'm so glad to be awake... I had the most horrible dream... It was like Bizzaro Universe!
-ECW & WCW closed their doors
-WCW was merged into the WWF
-ECW's good wrestlers went to the WWF (like RVD)
-The coolest feud of all-time, the can't-miss WCW vs. WWF feud was crappy and missable
-The Rock became an actor
-The nWo returned
-Hulk Hogan returned
-WWF split into 2 brands (RAW & Smackdown) and that sucked
-WWF had to change their name to WWE due to the World Wildlife Fund lawsuit
-Hulk Hogan became World Champion
-Ric Flair joined the nWo
-Stone Cold is boring
-The best thing on RAW has only been on TV for a month
-Chris Benoit is injured
SAVE ME FROM THIS HELL!!
What? What? You mean it wasn't a dream? You mean that wrestling REALLY does suck now ('cept for a few spots)... GOD NO! WHY!!!!?? Stephanie McMahon, oversaturation, and assinine booking, that's why!
Hopefully, we can get something cool going again...like...
-No More nWo... Hell, bring back dX and have the Gang Wars!
-Retire Hogan, Nash & Flair
-Champions: Jericho (WWE), D-Lo Brown (IC), Saturn (Euro), The Hardy Boyz (Tag), Molly (Women's), Brock Lesnar (Hardcore), one of Tajiri/Mysterio/Kidman/Hurricane (CW)
Holden: Judging by the buzz, that movie's gonna make some serious bank. Jay: What buzz? Holden: The internet buzz. Jay: What the f*ck is the internet? [Holden (Ben Affleck) & Jay (Jason Mewes) in Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back]
The Imposter Kane Vs. Kane Classic match was nowhere near the worst match of the year. Kane/Big Show at Backlash, Shelton/Viscera at NYR, Boogeyman/Booker T at 'Mania, Angle/Henry at the Rumble and many others were a lot worse.