Edit: Let's see, I'm one week off on the date and first posted the Heat recap here, but otherwise, PERFECT.
TV PG DLV CC entertainment open fireworks
Crash (Salisbury, NC, 214 pounds, 3) vs Shannon Moore (Cameron, NC, 195 pounds, 7) - your announcers are everyone hates Marc Loyd and Cole - they want to talk about the #1 contender and Torrie Wilson. Holy crap, Shannon wrestles on TV! I'm amazed. He's got a new video but I don't even remember what music he had. Circle. Lockup - no, Crash wants him to back off. He's stomping the mat and clapping - what the heck? Okay it's done now. Lockup, Crash with an armbar, Shannon rolls and kips up into a reversal. Crash tries and turns it - headlock takedown, legscissors reversal, Crash walks into a Shannon headlock takedown, legscissors reversal, standoff. Cole figures Nunzio to be 300 pounds - why does he think that? Crash claps - handshake? slapped away! Maybe Shannon still is a heel? Push to Crash. Circle. Lockup - Crash pushes Shannon in the corner, clean break - NO, Shannon with a forearm. HMM. Cole and Loyd play "Even though we said Albert said 'Velocity sucks and I don't want to be stuck on it any more', that doesn't mean Velocity actually sucks" games. Kick. Forearm. Turnbuckle smash. Kicks to the back. To the apron, and a boot to the head. He needs to pose or taunt or somehow interact with the crowd between moves here, but he walks over to go after Cash. Whip, head down too soon, Crash garbs the ropes anyway, clothesline, dropkick, scoop and a slam one two NO. I think Cole remembers that vignette with Matt Hardy that never got mentioned again - yep, he just referenced it. Surely they've still been hanging out, just off camera. Corner whip, Crash charges in but Shannon is pout and drop toe holding him. Running hip check to Crash's upperback! Clothesline. Back suplex. One two no. Yelling about the count. CAMEL CLUTCH! You are no El Hijo Del Santo! Though I'd like to see Shannon in more lucha trios - I think it'd play to his skills at this point. Crash with elbows to get out, right, holding his back, off the ropes, Shannon misses a clothesline, Crash with a bodyscissors cradle one two NO. Shannon up with a knee, forearm, to the back, forearm forearm forearm, off the ropes, jumping swinging neckbreaker one two NO. One two NO! Slam - Shannon looks at the ropes, empty looks at the ropes (heat machine kicks in to boo him - where were you when I was confused earlier?), going up slowly, off the rope nothing but he sees the boot coming and grabs it - rolls Crash to his feet (so what was the point of doing that?) Clotheslines misses and Crash hits the reverse neckbreaker. Both men down. One two three four five six Shannon charges Crash, but Crash side steps and Shannon hits the corner. Right hand by Shannon is blocked - inverted atomic drop and a clothesline by Crash. and a back elbow. Whip, reversed, 'rana NO powerbomb one two NO! Crash is still feeling the back work from earlier. Back suplex - no, he's going to sit Shannon facing out on the top rope. Shannon back elbows him down when he tries to come off. Halo? YES but it misses - Crash covers one two NO! Crash picks him up - back suplex, no Shannon lands behind, Crash with a standing switch, Shannon elbows out, corner whip, reversed into a normal whip, Shannon spinning headscissors reversed into a face first powerbomb! One two three! (5:51) Crash celebrates by climbing his way out of the ring. Shannon's got some of the heel psychology down more, but he needs to interact with the crowd to get that heel reaction (or a face reaction, for that matter.)
Still to come - a four way for the #1 contender. And Dawn and Torrie.
SmackDown! Live Sunday - Uniondale, NY Tuesday - Atlanta, GA Saturday - Jacksonville, FL Next Sunday - Ft. Lauderdale, FL Next Monday - Sarasota, FL Next Tuesday - Tampa, FL Should those off-day tapings to make up for the x-mas break be coming up really soon?
Was that Mick in a Santa suit or am I hallucinating again? That was a TNN ad so probably.
Hey, here's your first Angle/Show promo for the WWE Title. Works out nice that RAW will get two PPV main events in a row, probably.
John Cena (w/B2, West Newburry, MA, 239 pounds) vs Paul London (205 pounds, already in the ring) - hey, John got a hometown this week! Good for him. Cole calls him Jack London, which is possibly too literary for this show/promotion - especially given the subtly of Mr. Cena's gimmick as Vanilla Announcer (Announcer: "Cena thinks he's Vanilla Ice!" before every match.) Circle. Lockup. London with a waistlock, Cena with an armbar takedown into a cover one two no. Front facelock, London reverses to a armbar, push into the corner. Clean break? No, London goes for a whip, blocked, whip, blocked - Cena has other arm hood on the ropes. Whip, Cena reverses, John charges in but no one's there. London charges and gets backdropped to the apron - Cena back elbow misses, shoulderblock, then a slingshot headscissors. Wheel Kick! Flipping dropkick one two NO. Headlock. Push into the ropes, right misses, Paul goes for a cross body but Cena dives under. Cena waits for London - clothesline. One two NO. Stomp. Kick to the ribs. Turnbuckle smash. Right. Right. Right. Choke on the middle rope. Distract so B2 can get in his shot. One two no. I yawn. Baaaack suplex one two nah. Full nelson! Used as a chinlock! London getting to his feet - trying to back elbow out - off the ropes, into a Cena back elbow one two NO. This is where I check to see that only a minute and a half is left of his boredom. Cena plays with London's leg - ah, he's talking to B2 so he cannot be paying attention when London's enzugiri's him, there you go. Both slow up - Cena misses a right, London hits two more of those flipping dropkicks. Springboard crossbody! London to the apron but Cena meets him - and gets a jawbreaker over the ropes. Double jump moonsault one two NO! Corner whip, reverse into a slide under, right and misses, back suplex into a side slam one two three. (4:24) I guess it's no longer a powerbomb because they remembered that it's Morely move? B2 and Cena celebrate. B2 again makes like he's going to punk out Paul but just kinda looks at him. Maybe he's only going to punk them out in my mind.
Still to come, that #1 contender. But up next, Torrie and Dawn and me fast forwarding before writing down a time.
WWE Anthology Cuts: "I Don't Suck [but we're already out of new ones of these - no wonder there wasn't one on SmackDown!]" (1:02)
Lugz Fashion Show of Two Weeks Ago
And this week - same acting and writing, less near nudity. (4:15) We don't know what happened in that hotel room yet.
Tough Enough highlights - you know, they can say "we'll cut as many people, and there's no set timescale" but I have a hard time believing that they really thought Kelly would somehow totally turn it around and move up in the few days between the time Scott got cut and she got cut. Unless other people are sucking a lot more than we know, and we don't know it. Also I'd be shocked if Kelly really got cut on day one of the trip. Did you notice how they timed the Tough Enough diaries on MTV.com so they can say "we didn't have one this week because of Thanksgiving" instead of "we're not talking to Lisa anymore, and that was her turn." (2:44)
Rikishi (350 pounds) vs Mike Fox (already in the ring) - Apparently they can only do chyron for one local guy per show. Rikishi loves having fun, which has absolutely nothing to with this match to come. I know how I'll have fun: it involves not typing for this match. Fox tries a sunset flip because he's a moron. Stinkface actually seems to get more throat than face. Rump Shaker. (2:51)
Up next - that #1 contenders match
RAW Retro - Rock eulogizes Stone Cold, while Stone Cold runs over the Rock's car, 4/19/99 (1:01)
Fatal Four Way - we clip right to Benoit's elimination of Eddie, and Eddie helping Benoit be eliminated. Then on to Angle kicking out of the spear. (7:10) Wow, they got a clip of big Show holding the belt by himself.
JVC Brock Lives It Live
Matt Hardy (Version 1 - Cameron, NC, 245 pounds) vs Chuck Palumbo (no hometown given, 268 pounds) - Matt is a great juggler - and he's his father's favorite child. Cole suggests Marc Facts: Mark is a goof, Marc's a boring commentator. Cole claims JEFF is the favorite child. Cole is a MORON. Those sentences aren't necessarily related, I just like typing certain things. Loyd: "I wish I lived in the same neighborhood as Billy Gunn!" That doesn't make any more sense if I give it a context. Matt mocks Chuck's posing. Lockup - Chuck pushes Matt in, Matt turns it around, clean break. VERSION ONE. Circle. Lockup - hammerlock by Matt, Chuck tries to reach around for a reverse but matt is elusive. Break - HE'S V1! Lockup, armbar, Chuck turns it, hammerlock, Matt locks for a reversal but can't find it, just short of the ropes, walking and now running around, Chuck is leveraged out of the ring. VERSION ONE. Chuck is back in and has enough that - right hand. Lots of shadowboxing for no reason. Chuck says he's 1! Chuck tries to follow up and gets an eye poke. Right. Right. Matt off the ropes, under, into a strange hiptoss. Odd looking. Matt recovers on the outside but gets pulled up - jawbreaker over the ropes. Swinging neckbreaker. Fans would like Jeff. one two no Jeff sucks. Stomp. Choking on the ropes. Choke around the ropes. Working Chuck over in the corner with elbows. Snap mare. Elbow drop to the neck. And one more. Chuck with right hands, trying to battle his way up. but Mat with a right hand to the neck to stop that. Reverse neckbreaker! One two NO. I think he picked his body part. Snap mare chinlock. Chuck elbowing out, whip, reversed, Chuck with a short clothesline. Punch exchange - Matt misses first, and Chuck hits a back suplex. Or a side suplex if you're a moron named Michael Cole. That's kinda harsh but fun to random ally insult people. Corner whip, reversed, Chuck stops short and is back with back elbow. Clothesline. Side belly to belly suplex one two NO. JUNGLE KICK is ducked - kick wham no Chuck keeps turning out of it - overhead belly to belly suplex one two NO. Kick by Chuck, discus punch is ducked - Side Effect! One Two NO! Matt can't believe it! Matt's counting him up - kick, yell, rammed back into the corner. Chuck backs up, charges in, back elbow. Matt to the second rope, yelling - flying right into a right hand one two NO! Chuck with an over the shoulder pickup, Matt's got a hold of Jimmy Korderas but Jimmy gets free, Matt slides off and pushes Chuck into Jimmy, but Chuck stops short in time - so Matt runs him shoulder first into the post. Twist Of Fate One two three. (6:28) Matt RULES. Let's replay - Twist Of Fate, One two I guess we don't need to see the three.
We already have Ang Lee attached to direct, now I'm just waiting to finish touching up the script and trying to get Tim Curry and Stephen Baldwin to play Lance and Rob. Well, if you REALLY want to know... OMG SPOILER~! (spoiler text)