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The W - Guest Columns - Velocity [#28, 11/30/02]
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Since: 10.12.01
From: Aurora, IL

Since last post: 275 days
Last activity: 109 days
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 10.00

TV 14 DLV CC entertainment open fireworks

Rikishi (no hometown given, 320 pounds) vs Redd Dawg (no hometown given, 256 pounds, already in the ring) - Is that a new green outfit for Rikishi? Your announcers are everyone hates Marc Loyd and Cole. Dawg jumps Rikishi as he's getting ready right right Rikishi pushes him down. Redd (Cole: "Redd Dogg? I thought that was Snoop Dogg!" - Loyd does not try a "Redman" joke) is right back up with, um, rights. Another push down. Redd tries it again, but Rikishi blocks a punch and smacks Redd Dogg to the mat. Jab Jab Jab Jab Left. Corner clothesline. He's already down in the corner? Are we in a hurry? I guess not - Redd Dogg slides out of the ring before Rikishi can even get going. Red comes back in, and walks right into a punch. Belly to belly to belly suplex. Dragging him into the corner - Rikishi really isn't into having a long match tonight, eh? Slowly to the second rope and Redd is out of the way before he's even to the second rope - I think Rikishi looked down and noticed, otherwise I can't figure when he starts climbing back down. Rikishi turns towards Redd Dogg and gets a kick and punches. Redd off the ropes, under a clothesline and hits one of his own. Loud howl? I guess. Redd with horrible rights exposed by a horrible camera angle. He's not even close and they're nice enough to show us how he fakes it. Redd's not using (fake) kicks, and here's an elbow smash on the floor. Another. Redd back in - right (still not close), corner whip, quick reversed, Rikishi whips him the same way so he can hit the Samoan Drop on the rebound. Rikishi waits for Redd Dogg to get up in the corner - running corner butt smash. Now he's down again - yep, Stinkface. Redd Dogg walks into a kick and a DDT. Rikishi pulls him over into the corner - Rump Shaker hits, one two three. (3:19)

Still to come - the Pilgrim Fashion Show. And what did Stephanie do to Brock?

SmackDown! Live
Sunday - San Antoino, TX
Monday - Corpus Christi, TX
Tuesday - Dallas, TX
Next Saturday - Hamilton, ON
Next Sunday - Uniondale, NY

TE3 Clips - Jonah's prank was so horribly funny. (2:46)

Albert (Boston, MA, 330 pounds) and Bill DeMott (no hometown given, 280 pounds) vs Pat Qsik & Chuck Coates (already in the ring) - Albert pauses on the ramp for a moment for no particular reason. Loyd: "Scott, not - Tough Enough! How did you like that one, Michael?" Cole: "You wrote that, didn't you?" "Absolutely I did!" Man, I remember the billion times I've seen those two wrestle - and now they're a team! I still don't care. Yay no names for the jobbers, I'm taking a coffee. Cole says Bill thinks he's still on Tough Enough. Cole and Loyd have a discussion about Bill's eyes. "Coates and Kotsen" is what I get, but c'mon, it's Albert and Bill DeMott. They're at least not dumb jobbers - they go after the leg with the big kneebrace on it. Cole's fallen in love with this tag team because of it's power potential. Fireman's carry into a double team flapjack on the top rope. Oh I'm not a big fan of that dropkick to the knee. Loyd: "Ah, there's the bicycle kick - one of the top finishing moves here in the WWE!" Must've lost a bet. DeMott tops it with No Laughing Matter one two three (4:06) I'm sure I'm not supposed to be calling it that anymore but they're just saying "moonsault" so I am. Is Albert gonna Baldo Bomb him? Oh yea, it was Cusack who got pinned. "We may be on the start of something really hot here!" [I finally got the right names off of Heat the next night, though Chuck's last name is a guess - Qsik's name is actually on his tights but I couldn't read it.]

Still to come, Brock got screwed at Survivor Series. Next, no one got screwed in the Pilgrim Fashion Show.

Dawn and Torrie and Al (5:47

Still to come, Brock did not have a happy Thanksgiving.

WWE Anthology Cuts - "I Don't Suck" (1:04)

RAW Retro - Rock challenges Hogan, 02/18/02 - the blurred out old logo on the microphone is very distracting here. (:52)

John Cena (w/B2 - green and black) - John cuts off his intro so he can 'rap': "Yo yo yo - everybody knows that I'm nicer than you, and so is my posse, so let's freestyle

Velocity is my property
I talk cockily
get on off of me 
because I steam your ass like broccoli
you try to copy me
because you're jealous and mad at me
I look good with oversize brain capacity
I don't blame ya
don't hate this future hall-of-famer
hate that in any given second, I can rearrange ya
hate that my name spells danger
hate that I hate ya
hate that you're a pawn and I'm a player
lyrical principal - school's out, I dismissed ya
you'll a bunch of trash
go sleep with your sister
Word! Life!"

How many times did he rhyme ya there? Let's try this again. 

John Cena (West Newberry, MA, 249 pounds, w/B2) vs Danny Denucci (already in the ring) - Cena and Danny circle, as B leaves the ring. Lockup - no, John with a kick, right, whip, hiptoss (John has the arm out there for a day and half), Danny reverses and hits his own. Clothesline. Standing spin kick. Danny has blue hair, which is sort of odd but becoming less so by the day. Cena charges out of the corner and Danny takes him down with a drop toe hold. Danny floats around nicely into a front facelock - out into an armbar but he gets nailed with a forearm. Kick. Forearm to the back, foreman to the back. Choke on the bottom rope. I bet Cena distracts Brian Hebner here and - hey, Cole just mentioned the Cat for the first time tonight. B does not punch Danny - instead, Danny comes back with right hands (one that horribly obviously misses), whip, reversed, Cena back elbow one two no. Suplex. One two NO. Right. Right. Corner whip, Danny takes a weird somersault bump out. Fake boos. Stomp. Back suplex. One two NO. Whip, Danny back with a sunset flip one two NO. Clothesline by Cena to take back control one two no. Announcer having odd pauses in talking this week - more bad timing than them trying to take something out. Cena with a corner whip, charges into a boot. Cena charges into a forearm. Cena goes to the second rope - clothesline. Whip, backdrop. Off the ropes, bulldog one two NO. Suplex no - it's blocked. Cena escapes (was he supposed to block it by landing behind there?) and hits a clothesline. Stomping him. Right. Loyd wants it marked that Cole is admitting Loyd's sources were right and Brock did show up after all - there you go. Corner whip, Danny goes in chest first, and rebounds out into a back suplex into a powerbomb one two three. (4:08)  No name for that either. Cena and B discuss - I thought B wants to get Danny up for more but he just high fives Cena.

Will Stephanie suspend Brock? Yes.

Here's the video package to prove it - how did they have this camera in the trainers room for the reverse angle? Actually I guess this is all last week's stuff (2:42) And then this week's stuff. (7:44)

XBox Steiner appearance of Thursday

Crash (red, Salisbury, NC, 214 pounds, 6) vs SmackDown! #1 Announcer Funaki (Japan, 208 pounds, 5) - I get weird mutes during Crash's entrance and no introduction - maybe my tape is just going. Crash couldn't bother to change tights between matches, I guess. Funaki doesn't get to talk? No fair. Remember, Funaki won last time - reversing a tights pull rollup. Lockup - long battle for control, Crash with a hammerlock, Funaki tries to turn it but Crash with a hammerlock and a side headlock. Now Funaki trying to wristlock his way out but Crash holds on to the hammerlock. Funaki with shots to the midsection to push him into the ropes, shooting Crash off - no, Crash holds on to Funaki's hair and pulls him back into the headlock. Is this going to be one of those matches? Now he's told to let go for the hair pulling - Crash manages to sneak in a kick around the referee on Funky. Crash with a headlock, Funky with elbows, shooting Crash, Crash grabs the hair to stay in again, Funaki with a back suplex, Crash lands on his feet, waistlock, reversed, Crash gets the ropes, Funaki rolls back, Crash charges and takes a single leg takedown. Armdrag into an armbar. Back on their feet, Crash with a forearm, slam. Elbow drop but no one's home. Funaki with an armdrag, back into the arm. Hammerlock, Funaki with a headlock, Crash tries to elbow out but it's not happening. Now trying to back suplex out but Funaki's not going. Crash gets his feet on the ropes to break the hold, but Funaki's taking his time so Crash walks up the corner as Funaki holds it in a choke - Funaki lets go and Crash falls to the mat. Crash complains about a hair pull. Shove for Funaki, shove back. Crash charges, armdrag into an armbar. Crash back to his feet, Funaki twists, Crash with an eye poke to get free. Crash lamely throws Funaki over - Funaki grabs the ropes and tries to pull himself back up, but Crash sees it coming and kicks him in the midsection before pushing him to the floor. Crash follows out to bring Funaki back in, cover one two NO. Suplex. Stomping on him on the way to the corner. Crash going to the rope - flying chindrop but Funaki's legs are too short and Crash blocks it - rolling Funaki to his feet, clothesline misses, Funaki tries for a floataround DDT but Crash goes down way too soon and it doesn't look right, which is pretty much like the rest of the show so far. Corner whip, reversed, Crash charges in but no one's home - bulldog! One two NO. Funaki with clapping - dropkick to the head one two NO. Suplex - no, blocked, so Funaki tries for an  armbar takedown but it's blocked - inside cradle by Crash one two NO though the point isn't clear to the crowd. Whip, reversed, Crash slides under, drop toe hold - LA MAJISTRAL - no Crash blocks the roll and stays on top one two three (4:15) I guess Funaki is no Negro Casas? EH. Crash's arm hurt too much when it gets raised - Funaki can't believe he just lost.

That's it.

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Since: 2.1.02

Since last post: 6351 days
Last activity: 6351 days
#2 Posted on
Good recap, Cubs.

"I just got pinned by a friggin twelve-year-old."

Kurt Angle
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Good recap as always , Cubs.
- tomvejada, Heat [#225, 11/10/02] (2002)
Related threads: (Velocity) Now I've Seen Everything - Velocity [#27, 11/23/02] - Velocity [#26, 11/16/02)] - More...
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