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The W - Guest Columns - Velocity [#27, 11/23/02]
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thecubsfan
Scrapple
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Since: 10.12.01
From: Aurora, IL

Since last post: 14 hours
Last activity: 7 hours
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 10.00

TV 14 DLV CC open fireworks

Crash (Salisbury, NC, 214 pounds, red and a backpack) vs Albert (Boston, MA, 350 pounds) - Your announcers are everyone hates Marc Loyd and Cole. Stephanie's been Behind Closed Doors (w/Joan Lunden) determining Brock's future in the WWE. This is the biggest decision of her GM career, apparently. Crash takes off his backpack and stores it in a corner, so we can expect wackiness later. Crash calls for a pre-emptive timeout. Now he's getting a something out of his backpack while the crowd starts a "Shave Your Back!" chant. Ah, shaving cream. And a razor. Crash offers, but Albert slaps the bottle away, Crash ducks the clothesline and slides out with the razor. Crash backing around and to his corner, so he can put the razor back. Clean break in. Crash want some space. Oh no, the test of strength. Albert observes and strikes - but Crash has learned that everyone is going to do this (psychology!) and ducks - now he's pulling on Albert's back hair. Albert misses on a back elbow, and now Crash is grabbing chest hair. That's so gross. Loyd actually remembers Funaki doing this same thing - anyway, knee, over the shoulder kneeling backbreaker. Rubbing Crash's face in his chest hair (Yeeech) and throwing him down. Crash has to pick the hair out of his mouth, this is just a wonderful match. Pushed in the corner. Bealed out. Albert charges Crash in the corner, Crash moves, Crash ducks a right, right of his own, right , right, Crash backs up, Albert charges and Crash drop toe holds him into the middle buckle. Crash opts for the middle buckle smashes one two three four five six seven eight nine and  dropkick for ten. Crash does his Ultimate Warrior impersonation (no really), I guess he's going try the press slam now - Albert's scissors kick one two three. (2:10) That was two minutes too long! Albert throws out Crash. Albert yelling at the announcers (or the fans behind them?) and Crash is back in with that shaving cream - he's spraying it and rubbing it on Albert's back, lovely. He's going to die now. Baldo Bomb. Do it again! Aww. Cole: "I think he deserved the damn Baldo Bomb!" 

Later on (in the main event!) - Matt Hardy (version one) vs SmackDown! #1 Announcer Funaki! Up next, Angle vs Eddie G.

SmackDown! Live:
11/24: Elmira, NY
11/25: Raleigh, NC
11/26: Columbia, SC 
11/30: Abilene, TX 
12/01: San Antonio, TX

Lugz Tag Team Title change of Last Sunday.

Eddie vs Angle, picking up with Chavo sneaking down. (4:42)

Scott Steiner: "Guest Starring This Week, SmackDown!"

Hey, Brock, Rikishi, Edge, Matt, Tazz, D-Von, Booker, Steven, Test, Chris, Cena, and Christian all read the WWE Magazine - why won't you?

RAW Retro: "Olympic Dairy Man" 09/20/01 - :40

Chuck Palumbo (no hometown given, 268 pounds) vs Danny Giovanni (already in the ring) - We go to product advertisements over the second guy's ring introduction - he has tights that somewhat resemble the ones Jeff Jarrett and Owen Hart wore as a team, with an interlocked DG. Announcers talk about the Benoit/Angle. Thanksgiving show hyped - tickets still available. I guess Loyd was supposed to be Tarzan on Halloween and it just came off looking like an ugly woman's dress. Moving on - let's plug Anthology. I think Loyd quickly says the guy's name, but not enough that I can make it out. "Dumondo" and who knows if it's a first or last name. There's the discus punch.  - and here's a reverse Boston Crab (basically a Boston Crab with Chuck facing the other way) Tap. (2:35) I'm gonna be sad if they're dumping the Jungle Kick. The name I put up there is the name I saw on the spoilers, so there you go. Cole says he'll have to ask Palumbo what he's calling that - please do.

Still to come - Paul provokes Brock. But up next, Scary Bill DeMott

WWE Anthology Cuts: "Need A Little Time" (1:05)

Bill DeMott (no hometown given, 258 pounds) vs Danny Doring (already in the ring) - going right from Bill to a guy making a booing noise is VERY SUBTLE. Hahaha, Danny Doring. Lockup. Doring pushed into the corner. Clean break? nah right, but it misses. Right, but Bill no-sells it and Doring is very scared. Bill pushes him into the corner - big open hand slap. And another. And a right. Talking trash. Doring turns it around and hits right hands, but Bill in not phased by all of this. Bill with rights. Choking him on the mat. Kick kick kick kick yell at the ref. Corner whip, Bill charges in, Doring moves out, inside cradle on two NO. Bill miss a clothesline, Danny with a forearm, forearm, off the ropes, Bill has his head own too soon and gets it kicked. Danny off the ropes and elevated by a clothesline. Danny is out of it, and Bill pulls him back up - right o the back of the neck (Danny holds his lower back in pain.) Danny trying to punch his way up, but Bill still doesn't feel it. Bill pulls him into position - powerbomb? NO, Danny punches his way down. Forearms, whip, reversed, clothesline misses, clothesline misses, Danny tries for  a 'rana and here's your powerbomb. Is that it or is he still going up? Bill takes his time looking at it, and then goes up. No Laughing Matter wait no cover? Now he's yelling at Doring - "You finish what you start!" Now he'll cover one two three. (3:12) He's a demented bully drill sergeant, basically. Bill takes down his straps but his match is over now so how's that gonna help? He holds up 3, so let's go to Tough Enough 3 highlights - all about Nick. That one shot is not in, but he's still cut. (2:40)

Still to come - Matt Hardy vs Funaki. 

Up next, Paul and Paul and Brock.

WWE Title fun. (13:20) That was loooong - the video package from the start of the show and lots of highlights during it. 

Next - Matt Hardy vs Funaki. 

Smack Your Mouth interior design of Thursday

SmackDown #1 Announcer Funaki (Japan, 208 pounds) vs Matt Hardy (Version One, Cameron, NC, 234 pounds) - Matt's IQ is 139! That's pretty impressive. Do you want to know mine? Good. We only get one Matt Fact on Velocity, which isn't fair. Hey did I call this happening back when he came in, or is this too soon to be worried? Lockup, Matt with an armdrag. Celebrate! Circle. Lockup, inside cradle (with tights!) one two NO. Matt shows how close he was. Funaki complains about the tights pull but Matt denies. Lockup, Matt with a headlock, Funaki elbowing, Matt shot in the ropes, Matt back with a shoulderblock. Off the ropes, over Funaki, Funaki hiptoss is blocked, Matt with a right, Funaki ducks and gets an inside cradle one two NO! Funaki celebrates - he was thisclose! Matt is not amused -r * right hand. Kick to the back. kick to the ribs. Right to the face. Version One. Charge, but Funaki backdrops him to the floor - he might have hit the apron on the way down, that didn't look fun. Pescado! Funaki with a little celebration. Funaki throws Matt in, Funaki in. Right. Whip, reversed into Side Effect! One two no. Cole thinks Stephanie has to suspend Brock. "We Want Jeff!" Chinlock around the ropes - hold it for four. Rights to the upper back. Funaki crawls to the apron, so Matt follows him out - chinlock around the corner rope! That's still illegal. Funaki thrown back in, Matt tries to pick him up, Funaki with rights but Matt with a clubbing blow to knock him down. Flapjack on the ropes. Back suplex into an elbow driver! 3/4 bulldog chinlock - I guess I can call it a snap mare hold to make it sound better. Funaki fighting his way up, right hands. Corner whip, reversed, Matt charges in to a boot. Matt charges in again, Funaki moves out - bulldog! Funaki with a kick, it's caught but the enziguri is not one two NO. Right, right, whip, clothesline, Matt ducks under, Funaki drop toe hold, clapping, off the ropes, dropkick to the face! Turnbuckle smash, now Funaki quickly to the second rope as Matt staggers - inverted swinging DDT! Oh man, that's nearly his finisher one two NO! See, I said nearly. Funaki can't believe it, because he thought it was his finisher. Corner whip, reversed, matt charges in but Funaki hits a back elbow. Funaki going to the top rope, flying ax-handle but Matt catches him with a kick, Twist Of Fate one two three (4:53) He learned that from the Undertaker, I think. Matt wins despite going through a wall - no mere wall can stop Version One!

That's it.

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HomerJFong
Ten Millionth Hit








Since: 19.3.02
From: Ontario, Canada

Since last post: 2583 days
Last activity: 1409 days
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#2 Posted on

    Originally posted by thecubsfan

    He's a demented bully drill sergeant, basically.



I got more of a Coach Buzz Stern vibe from the way DeMott was portrayed in this match and by the commentators. They'll probably cast Wendell in the role of Luther Biggs.





DrOp
Frankfurter








Since: 2.1.02

Since last post: 2143 days
Last activity: 1010 days
#3 Posted on
Cubs--I asked of CRZ once and now you. On avergae, how long does it take you do do a recap? Think HeAt, Velocity versus RAW/SmackDown!

DrOp--wonders how you find the time...



...And Marking Out
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thecubsfan
Scrapple
Moderator








Since: 10.12.01
From: Aurora, IL

Since last post: 14 hours
Last activity: 7 hours
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 10.00
I know that Heat took me 90 minutes, because I decided to start working on it around 11:20 last night and see how much I could get done before 1, and got done about 10 minutes till. That seems to be about the range for both those shows - 1 hour and half to 2 hours.

PPV Heat is the exception because if they're really flowing with absolutely nothing new to say and few backstage bits, I can actually recap the show in under an hour, which doesn't seem quite right.

SmackDown!, I dunno. I haven't been doing them all in one single stretch - this week, I did the first two segments Friday night, then finished the badly typed version on Saturday and cleaned up while watching the end of the football game on Sunday. I want to say 4.5-5.5 hours but that's kind of depressing.
DrOp
Frankfurter








Since: 2.1.02

Since last post: 2143 days
Last activity: 1010 days
#5 Posted on
Don't think of it as depressing, but rather, as an intense show of dedication. Seriously, the amount of attention and typing skills required to do this type of thing goes way overlooked with all the kudos that fly around. I remember when Brew did that first PPV recap and how sleep-deprived he was afterwards (he whined for weeks, trust me) ;). I think he finished and the sun was up. You guys that have recapped (CRZ, you, cfgb, Brew, et.al.) rock.


DrOp--ADHD is bad for recappers.



...And Marking Out
Slashwrestling.com Weinerville
tomvejada
Andouille








Since: 2.1.02

Since last post: 3982 days
Last activity: 3982 days
#6 Posted on
You RULE, Cubs.

Keep up the good work.



"I just got pinned by a friggin twelve-year-old."

Kurt Angle
odessasteps
Scrapple








Since: 2.1.02
From: MD, USA

Since last post: 36 days
Last activity: 3 days
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.41

I realized a lot time ago I just have the patience to do recaps. When I did the lucha recaps a few years ago, it was very time-consuming, not to mention the fact I don't speak Spanish which slowed it down even more.

More power to anyone that does then, and especially those, like cubs, that do them well.



Odessa Steps Magazine
Fall 2002 - On sale now
www.odessasteps.com
See us at the Baltimore Comicon - Oct 26-27
emma
Cherries > Peaches








Since: 1.8.02
From: Phoenix-ish

Since last post: 120 days
Last activity: 13 hours
#8 Posted on

    Originally posted by DrOp
    Don't think of it as depressing, but rather, as an intense show of dedication. Seriously, the amount of attention and typing skills required to do this type of thing goes way overlooked with all the kudos that fly around. I remember when Brew did that first PPV recap and how sleep-deprived he was afterwards (he whined for weeks, trust me) ;). I think he finished and the sun was up. You guys that have recapped (CRZ, you, cfgb, Brew, et.al.) rock.


    DrOp--ADHD is bad for recappers.

However, a nice touch of Obsessive/Compulsive Disorder can be quite useful!

Great recaps, Cubs! (All of them, actually.)
thecubsfan
Scrapple
Moderator








Since: 10.12.01
From: Aurora, IL

Since last post: 14 hours
Last activity: 7 hours
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 10.00
O/C is good in a funky way, horrible proofreading skills is not so good in anyway

Actually, I've tried to write this post about four times this week to explain anyway the depressing comment and I still can't, what do you know. I want to say it's not really but the more I think of it - what was I DOING

Individually, I can justify watching the shows. I can say I watched that show for Ultimo Dragon's return to North America, this show for another classic Crash/Funaki, the other one for another Raven speech to make sure his angle goes nowhere (well, maybe not EXACTLY that).

But then stacking them all together (in some index pages that look horrible in Mozilla), 5.5 years of work - and even while it's work that I can look back and say "wow, look at all of that", you can say "hey, that's a lot of work", all those other people out there will look and say "you spend that much time on stupid wrestling shows? That's borderline insane, dude" and all I can say is "uh huh" and wonder if I spent too much time thinking about other people's opinions.

It's not like that's the only time in the last 5.5 that I've not done something grand with - there's just no handy list of those hours you spent eating Chocolate Cookie Dough Ice Cream watching a Cubs game on some sunny summer weekend afternoon, or the times you've taken a nap just because you felt like it.

But I can ID all the time I used here and where exactly it's got to me, I can think about what's could've been behind Door #2, and I'm not sure I made the right deal. (I am sure that I spend way too much time on What Ifs, though.)

I probably should work these things out in my mind, eh? Yep. FORGET I SAID ANYTHING - if I really meant any of it, I guess I'd stop already.
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Related threads: Velocity [#26, 11/16/02)] - Velocity [#25, 11/09/02)] - Velocity (#24, 11/02/02) - More...
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