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The W - Guest Columns - Velocity [#25, 11/09/02)]
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Since: 10.12.01
From: Aurora, IL

Since last post: 5 days
Last activity: 9 hours
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 10.00

TV 14 DLV Entertainment CC Open Fireworks

Crash (Salisbury, North Carolina and 214 pounds - hey new tights! black and yellow, 5) vs Tajiri (Japan, 205 pounds, 2) - You know, I haven't been making CRZ references - mostly because I don't you to think about my stuff versus his any more than you're already doing and anything else I'd say would boil down to "He's happy! I'm not sad about that" - but I do remember a key rule of his: New Tights = Victory. Crash tries slingshotting into the ring for but trips his feet over the top rope. You know, Tajiri could use some new tights too. Reaching - lockup. No one's got control, so the break. Now we go to the circling. Reaching for leverage, nah, we'll back off again. T his time? Double wristlock, looking for the strength advantage, Tajiri lets go with one arm and steps over the other wristlock, turning it more into a armbar. Leg trip, but Crash is back up - armdrag. Tajiri right back up with an armdrag. Crash misses a clothesline, Tajiri misses a pin kick, Crash with the leg trip cover zero, Crash with the leg trip cover zero (well, Korderas counts a one after Tajiri is up - what is he doing with that facial hair?), Tajiri with the handstand kip up, standoff. Tajiri wants a handshake? Crash slaps it away. Tajiri slaps Crash upside the head. Kick, corner whip, charge, Crash hops up and gets the reverse bodyscissors letting everyone know what he's going for, but even Tajiri is reversing that way into the Tarantula now - shoved up and a snap kick to the head to knock Crash to the floor. Tajiri wants to follow up - sliding dropkick but no one's there. Crash with a kick and face drop on the barricade. Tajiri rolled in - Crash uses the bottom rope to slingshot himself into a cover (with his feet obviously in the ropes) one two nope. Crash with a forearm to the neck. Again. Corner whip, Tajiri rebounds out into the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker one two no. Crash tries to pick up Tajiri but Tajiri is rallying with right hands- Crash ends that with an eye rake. Suplex, no Tajiri goes behind, Crash runs to the ropes and ducks down, Tajiri hits the ropes throat first. Tajiri pushed chest first into the ropes, and Crash with a side backbreaker - he's holding it, straining Tajiri's back. Tajiri trying to rally back - and connects with rights. Kick to the midsection, whip, 'rana no Crash powerbomb. It slips Cole's mind that Tajiri's a face now and he shouldn't be trying to make fun of him - ah, it's just a bad segue to Blind Date hype. Crash signals to the crowd that at some point, he's going to punch Tajiri right in the face. Pulling up Tajiri to deliver that mighty punch - actually, he seems to be out. Yep, out. Crash with a triumphant cover, and Tajiri snap kicks him in the head. Crash misses a right, Tajiri does not miss with the reverse thrust kick. One two no. Whip, reversed, Tajiri hits the handspring elbow. Corner whip, Tajiri charges in, Crash sidesteps, Crash with a kick to the back, inside cradle one two no - ah, a tights pull where you might think feet on the ropes, Crash is deep. Whip by Crash, Tajiri with a sunset flip, Crash isn't going down - in fact, he's moving towards the ropes at a quick pace with Tajiri still holding on. He's got the middle ones and now he's sitting down, but Korderas has to explain why that's not in the rules. While that's happening, Tajiri's manage to bridge out (doesn't Crash notice? maybe a little late) and get up behind him - kick to the midsection. Tajiri grabs his back in pain, whip, reversed, Tajiri goes for that 'rana again but this time Crash rolls though - but Tajiri rolls out - dropkick to the head! One two NO. Tajiri's back is really bugging him.  Slow to follow up - but there's slam, no Crash goes behind, forearm to the back, corner whip, charge in but Tajiri's leaped up - there's the Tarantula. Tajiri lets go, Crash on his knees, KO Kick is ducked - so Tajiri swipes back with the heel to hit him. And now that KO Kick isn't ducked - one two three. (4:53) Here's a replay of the two final kicks. Loyd: "I think that completely knocked Crash out!" 

Still to come - the Big Show. But next - Torrie, Al and Dawn

SmackDown Live - Peoria Tomorrow. Wheeling on Monday. Columbus on Tuesday. Baltimore, MD Saturday. New York next Sunday (Sold Out).

This time, they sell it - well, the SmackDown commentary is still there, but Loyd says "serious personal issue" (4:12) sure, for that to AIR. TWICE.

Up next - the tag team title match.

Lugz #1 Contenders Winners of Three Week Ago

Highlights of the tag team match (10:34

Still to come - Big Show gets in Brock's head. 

Super Tuesday - 10 Man Tag Team Match, Triple Threat, InterPromotional Bikini Match. Who will survive Super Tuesday? 9/8 CT (aka "airing against 24 and Frasier.")

Tough Enough - another week of Scott's Wacky Misadventures. oh yea Chad gets cut. (2:47

Albert (Boston, MA, 350 pounds) vs Jason Porcaro (already in the ring, Latrobe, PA, 195 pounds) - "Another one falls on Tough Enough. Who's next?" "Hopefully you." Um, right. Albert will give a free punch - Jason goes for a headlock, and that's pretty much how this one goes. Cole says Porcaro shares the same hometown with Arnold Palmer, so I spend my time looking for correct spelling. Brian Hebner if your referee, which allows Cole to compliment him for his decision. Odd that he corrected the call and it didn't matter - that's unlike this show. Baldo Bomb. (1:51)

JVC chokeslam through the desk of two weeks ago 

Your announcers are Cole and Loyd - did I miss the desk shot earlier? That happens. I say that because we're not seeing them to set up Big Show's package, so we probably aren't seeing them at all. (6:30) Paul Heyman STILL isn't behind Brock. They could at least fake it and take it out later, c'mon. LAZY.

Maybe they exchange PPV ads as part of putting on a joint production.

Scott Steiner video. (:17

D-Von & Ron Simmons (523 pounds, WWE Anthology) vs Number One Smackdown Announcer Funaki (Japan, 208 pounds) and Chuck Palumbo (268 pounds) - I guess this wasn't hype worthy. Wow, Funaki sure hooked himself up with a loser. Actually, isn't this a match from last week's result? Chuck and Faarooq to start. Lockup, Ron with a side headlock, shot into the ropes, back with a shoulderblock. Off the ropes, into a powerslam one two no. Chuck with corner shoulders, Ron with an eye poke. Mike tries to force a break and Chuck slips free. Lockup, Chuck forced into the corner, Ron turns and hits a low kick. Slam, word to the crowd. Taking too much time looking at them and Chuck is up - Ron notices when he goes to pick him up, right misses, Chuck with a inside cradle one two no. Chuck with a drop toe hold, and Faarooq has enough of this -tag to D-Von. armdrag, armbar by Chuck. Tag to Funaki - Chuck with a slam, CAMEL CLUTCH! (you need to grab the neck), clapping, bow, dropkick to the head. Chuck is no TAKA. Funaki with rights, but D-Von gets in an eye poke. Right. "C'mon boy!" Open hand slap. Whip, right misses, dropkick by Funaki, dropkick, one two no. Loyd actually remembers that Chuck beat D-Von last week. Funaki off the ropes, under a clothesline, jumping forearm, crane kick pose to mock D-Von. D-Von is frustrated - tag to Ron. Ron tells him to c'mon - lockup, Funaki gets pushed down. Ron is telling him to do it again - and gets in a knee. Axhandle to the back, kick. Whip, slide under, dropkick by Funaki. Whip, reversed, D-Von tries for the shot from the apron but Funaki pulls short, then turns right into a clothesline from Simmons. One two no. Tag to D-Von - right. Whip, spinning back elbow. "Who's the man?" Snap mare. Chinlock - taking it all the way down to the mat. There was the Confidential next bit a little but ago, so we're almost done. Funaki getting back to his feet - rights out, whip, reversed, Funaki runs right into a powerslam one two no. D-Von crotch chops Chuck and says "Suck it!" I guess he's really not a Reverend anymore! Wait, was he making fun of Chuck not being gay? Tag to Ron while I figure this out - he's got a camel clutch with D-Von getting a leghold while the ref is distracted. Tag to D-Von. Funaki tries to battle back with right hands but gets another eye poke. Tag to Ron. Back to the camel clutch. "His ass is mine now!" Dominator - no, Funaki sneaks out, kick, DDT! Can he make the tag - tag to D-Von, tag to Chuck! Clothesline, clothesline, whip, backdrop. Side belly to belly suplex one two no. Whip, reversed, D-Von misses the right, Chuck with a kick, discus punch. Clothesline for Faarooq. Overhead belly to belly for D-Von! Clothesline for Ron. Tag to Funaki - Funaki going up - Rocket Launcher! on D-Von one two NO Ron breaks it up. Chuck punches Ron, and they end up outside the ring. Funaki chares D-Von in the corner, D-von side steps, Funaki ends up standing on the second rope facing out, D-Von gives him a forearm to the back - pulling reverse neckbreaker off the second rope! One two NO! See, that's not his finisher, no matter how cool it looked. Saving Grace - no, Funaki lands behind, inside cradle one two three! (7:10) oh my gosh! seven minutes! D-Von can't believe it. Ron is all "what happened!" I guess they must be burying this team - isn't Ron going to LA to work on Kimmel's new show?

Confidential is NOW.

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