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The W - Guest Columns - Velocity (#24, 11/02/02)
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thecubsfan
Scrapple
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Since: 10.12.01
From: Aurora, IL

Since last post: 22 hours
Last activity: 5 min.
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 10.00

TV 14 DLV entertainment CC open - Albert's in for Val, so add him to the possible list - fireworks. Odd that so many people in the crowd are dressed up for 11/2

D-Von vs Chuck Palumbo - Not a reverend any more? Happened a while ago and I wasn't paying attention? Alrighty. Chucks slides into get stomped, and that's how we start. Kick to the chest. Right to the head. Kick. Stomp. Right. D-Von yells at Mike Sparks. Right. "Who's the Man?" I think we're supposed to say D-Von, but maybe God. Whip, reversed, clothesline, D-von off the ropes and hits with a clothesline. One two no. Chuck sells a standing chinlock like death. Now he's getting worn down. Chuck is trying to battle up, elbow, elbow, elbow right, right,. Whip, back elbow. Armdrag. Shoulder to the gut, shoulder is met with a knee. D-Von with a right, right is caught and Chuck tries for the overhead belly to belly toss but D-Von gets in a knee to block, than a snake eyes. Choke on the ropes.  Chuck battling up with back elbows, and rights but D-Von stops that with a kick. Elbow to the back of the neck. Camel clutch! D-Von is not El Hijo Del Santo. Chuck getting to his knees so D-Von with the jumping sit on the back. "Get up boy! Get up!" He doesn't, so D-Von picks him up - small package one two no. D-Von right back to the elbow to the back of the neck. Kick to the back. Sidewalk slam. D-Von doesn't cover, but takes the scenic route to the second rope - waiting for Chuck to get up - double axhandle is caught, and Chuck hits a side belly to bell suplex. Both men down. D-Von up first but turning his back - right is blocked and Chuck hits a clothesline. Here' another. Whip, baaackdrop. Whip, reversed, armdarg is blocked, Chuck reverses to a - well, I'll say hip toss powerslam and figure the rest out later. One two no. Chuck calls D-Von back up - right right discuss right. Chucks' pumped up, corner whip, charge in and D-Von gets a boot to the midsection. D-Von out, right into the overhead belly to belly suplex. D-Von tries to crawl away but Chuck grabs him to cover - one two no. Chuck calling for the Jungle Kick - D-Von up - it's caught, Chuck is spun, kick, big DDT. D-Von rolls him over one two no. D-Von was sure that was a three count (it's almost as if he was sure it was prophesized) but no. Short clothesline is ducked - Jungle kick one two three. (5:42) I was sure Ron was going to show up to make sure D-Von won, but instead "a huge win for Chuck Palumbo".

Later on (last) - Jamie Noble (w/Nidia) and Crash vs Kidman and Funaki in exciting Cruiserweight Tag Team Action.

Up next, how would Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle not get along this week?

Lugz Chavo gives Chris a little help of last week.

It mostly involved "costing each other matches" (5:25)

Up next, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood (and was WWE Champion)

TE3 Rejected Recap Joke: "As it turns out, Scott wasn't really the crazy one". Actually, I should note that this is all Scott's Wacky Misadventures and no Lisa. (2:39)

Chavo Guerrero vs Tyson Due (already in the ring) - oh wait - Loyd: "Well another one bit the dust on Tough Enough. I guess Lisa just couldn't handle it mentally or physically, Things are getting tough, and we're gonna start to see these kids get really tested." My old rule is that if they can't bother to get a graphic or have announcer give me a decent pronunciation of the locals name, I don't really need to worry about the match. I haven't had to use it for such a long time, though. It takes about 15 seconds into the mat for Cole to get around to it - Chavo with an armdrag. It says "Textbook" on Tyson's tights. Chavo asks Tyson if he'd like to leave early and save us all trouble. Tyson responds by - dancing like a white guy. What the HECK. Lockup, Chavo with a waistlock, Tyson with a waistlock , Chavo with a scoop, slam. Chavo asks Tyson if he'd like to leave again. Nah. No dancing this time - ah, an ugly dropkick. Armdrag. Armdrag. Whip, leg lariat. Chavo rolls out, Tyson gives us a "woo" and his white guy dance - hey, the robot! Tyson must be wondering when Scotty 2 Hotty is back. Chavo back in, asking for some reason. Lockup - no, Chavo with a kick, form to the back. European uppercut. Turnbuckle smash, Chavo kicks him down in the corner, boot choke. Boot face rake. Here's another kick. Baaaack suplex. One two no. Chavo with another stomp. Stomp. Two European Uppercuts in one match! Wow, Chavo's going to new limits. Didn't you think the whole "Benoit and Angle can't fight during tag team matches or be suspended for a year" bit was for that tournament only? Didn't you think that it was silly when it was Storm and Candido? Oh, Due is fighting back with elbows, but a knee stops that. Turnbuckle smash. Chaco hangs Due in Golden Globes position, but opts for the high dropkick to the chest. Chavo poses. Snap mare, digital video messiness, cover one two no. Kick. Right. European Uppercut - no, it's caught into a backslide one two no. Chavo up with a kick. Slam, no Due goes behind, forearm to the back. Due charges at Chavo and gets a back elbow. Due with a corner whip, due kips up and gives him the spinning headscissors. Clothesline. Slam? No, he turns him over to reverse DDT position one two no. Tyson is juked - corner punches one two three four five six-Chavo's got his legs and he's dropping him on the top rope. Kick, Brainbuster one two three. (4:26) That one was very much better than Uncle Eddie's on Thursday. 

Up next, the Big Show did this two week ago, so what did he this week

Greyhound Title Match Accepted of Two Weeks Ago

Talk a bunch, for one. (6:53)

Here's the graphic - notice Paul isn't shown behind Brock? 

Rebellion Tour Highlights (:40)

Albert vs Mark Bartolucci - Albert is again taking his time looking at the fans. You know, I did SmackDown so I owe myself a break somewhere. Loyd makes fun of Cole's dancing, Cole drops that Loyd used to be a dancer, I get scared. Oh great, he wants to talk. After a moment. "As I walk down that ramp, and I see all those stares from you people, I know what you're all thinking. 'Albert, wow, is he big and sexy or what?' [bicep pose] I mean look at me - look at me! Have you ever seen such specimen? [Shave Your Back] Jealously will get you nowhere! And ladies, it's true, all this is hair is 100% natural. And as I look around, obviously these men can't be getting the job done, so ladies, if you'd like step in the ring and all through my man fur, just come on in." Well now we know why he replaced Val. Apparently, according to Cole on the flight back, two flight attendants actually asked to run their hands through Albert's "man fur", so there you go. Deal with how ever you'd like. I'll do it by screwing with my WinAmp list. Someone told Loyd it's the bicycle kick this week. I don't think Mark got anything in - Baldo Bomb one two three. (2:39

Next - Jamie Noble (w/Nidia) and Crash vs Kidman and Funaki in exciting Cruiserweight Tag Team Action.

WWE Crusierweight Champion Jamie Noble (w/Nidia, 1) and Crash (4, pink!) vs Funaki (3) and Billy Kidman (6) - Your hosts are Cole and Loyd - if they did a shot looking at them, I missed it. Kidman and Funaki are undefeated as a tag team on this show! (1-0, vs Noble/Tajiri). Crash's music distracts Noble and Nidia from making out. It's almost a purplish-pink but not quite. It is a pink and black combo. I wonder if those red ones just faded in wash. Why does Kidman get last entrance? Force of habit. Kidman and Noble to start off - the classic battle of urban vs rural! Or not. Circle. Lockup, Noble with a nee. Whip, Kidman back with a spinning headscissors. Cole thinks Scott Steiner watches this show. Armbar, tag to Funaki. Double whip, double armbar. Dropkick and out goes Noble. Double back elbow for Crash, double dropkick to take him out. Wow, Funaki and Kidman have been working on team work - well, maybe not, because there's a bit of a pause while they figure out who goes where - anyway, stereo baseball slide dropkicks. Funaki throws Noble back in, follows him to the corner, and gets kicked. Kick down in the corner by Noble. Jamie yells. Whip, reversed, Noble holds the ropes, Funaki charges, Noble backdrops him to the apron, Noble punch is blocked, right for Noble, kick for a charging Crash, but Nidia stops this with a trip off the apron. Crash and Nidia double team stomp as ref Mike Choida busies himself with Kidman. Funaki thrown in one two no. Front facelock, tag to Crash - top rope punch to the midsection. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaanging suplex. One two NO. One two no. One two no. Cole really doesn't want to talk about Stephanie and Eric kissing and Loyd really does. Double leg hook one two NO. Hmm. Forearm to the back, Funaki in the bad corner now, but fighting back - right for Crash, back elbow for Noble, repeat, but Crash sneaks in a drop toe hold and tag for Noble - elbow drop to the head. Noble stomping it in. Noble with a middle rope leg choke. Snap mare, elbow to the back of the head. Straight jacket camel clutch hold. Funaki slipping free as the crowd roots him on - Noble gets flipped to the mat one two Nobel bridges up, Funaki reveres to a backslide one two no. Noble with a clothesline, one two no. Turnbuckle smash, tag to Crash, full nelson hold for a Crash kick. Snap mare, dropkick to the back of the neck one two no. Double underhook hold, tag to Noble, kick to the midsection. Turnbuckle smash, Noble with corner kicks to the midsection. "C'mon boy!" And Funaki does, with his own kicks, rights, Noble with a knee to stop him. Corner whip, Noble charges but Funaki moves - bulldog! Funaki needs to make the tag to Kidman, who hasn't been in since the first minute - tag to Crash, tag to Kidman. Crash misses a clothesline, Kidman hits a spinning jumping back elbow. Clothesline, dropkick, dropkick to Noble, kick, reverse neckbreaker hold on Crash, kick for Noble - DDT/reverse neckbreaker combo! I know who's been watching their lucha! One two NO. Kidman picks up Crash, back suplex but Crash lands on his feet - Crash Bulldog! One two Funaki breaks it up. Noble in with a clothesline from behind - not Funaki turns and throws Noble out. Pescado! Back with the legal men, Crash has Kidman from behind - Nidia top rope cross body hits Crash! Kidman got free just in time, of course. Nidia backs away - and Funaki yanks her down and out of the ring. Kidman with Noble's Tiger Bomb on Crash one two NO! Kidman's surprised and I kinda am too. Funaki in to help - double whip, double clothesline misses, Noble yanks Funaki out, Crash catches Kidman's boot but Kidman nails him with the enziguri. Kidman pulling Crash in position as it looks like Funaki has the better of the outside brawl with Noble - up, Shooting Star Press one two three. (6:36) Funaki manages to tackle Noble as he was diving in (on the far side) for the save, so it was a team effort. Nice match - they're still undefeated. Hmm, it wasn't all that long ago that the top 3 guys on the ladder were all heels - now the top 3 contenders are all faces, though that's somewhat to do with Tajiri's face turn. SSP Replay. Kidman hugs the person who brought the Kidman sign.

Over. 

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tomvejada
Andouille








Since: 2.1.02

Since last post: 3983 days
Last activity: 3983 days
#2 Posted on
Another good recap, Cubs.

The numbers after Noble, Crash, Kidman and Funaki, are those numbers from the cruiserweight ladder?



"I just got pinned by a friggin twelve-year-old."

Kurt Angle
thecubsfan
Scrapple
Moderator








Since: 10.12.01
From: Aurora, IL

Since last post: 22 hours
Last activity: 5 min.
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 10.00
Yep. This is how it looks now, just for the sake of having a longer message than "yep"

# Wrestler
Name
Last Date
(Air)
1 Jamie Noble 11/02
2 Tajiri 10/24
3 (Sho) Funaki 11/02
4 Billy Kidman 11/02
5 Crash 11/02
6 Shannon Moore 10/19
7 Rey Mysterio 09/24
8 Chavo Guerrero (Jr.) 10/12
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My god, that frigging ruled
- Evil Antler God, Bossman, No Mercy and more!!!1 (2004)
Related threads: albert on velocity - Funny Velocity moment - Velocity 8/24/02 - More...
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