Dish Network's preview lists Orlando Jordan vs. Rhyno. I can't say that I'm looking forward to that one, but it shouldn't suck. Matt & Shannon were on Smackdown & Spanky is still dead, so it looks like it's up to Ultimo Dragon and Funaki to keep the show hot this week.
Nunzio vs. Kidman Good chain wrestling to start the match. When both men had their backs to the camera, I had them temporarily confused until I noticed their shorts. Have I mentioned the awesomeness of Kidman's DVD neckbreaker? Nothing spectacular, but they kept the match moving at a decent pace. Kidman wins with the Shooting Star Press.
Line of the Match Josh: (as Kidman launches the SSP) Press the right trigger on your Gamecube.
Recap: Eddie Guerrero is God.
Crowbar vs. Sean O'Haire Holy crap, it's Crowbar! As Tazz points out, Crowbar looks a lot bigger, but still in good shape. Josh actually puts over Crowbar as a former WCW Tag, Hardcore and Cruiserweight champion. SHADES OF POKER FACE as Crowbar hits a flying cross body. Nice spot where O'Haire has Crowbar in a Fujiwara Armbar and grabs his thumb and starts tweaking it as well. O'Haire wins with the Inverted Death Valley Driver which no longer has a name.
Line of the Match Tazz: Crowbar must be pretty heavy into religion. Josh: Why's that? Tazz: He has holy pants. (Josh actually busts out laughing at this point.)
Ultimo Dragon & Funaki vs. Jason Picaro and Joey Matthews Excellent, fast paced action here. Towards the end of the match, Ultimo Dragon suddenly switches into god mode and goes absolutely nuts, nailing about a couple dozen moves in the span of about 30 seconds, including a sweet Asai Moonsault into a standing Matthews. Matthews and Dragon exchange chain chops at one point that looked pretty damn painful. Dragon wins with a slightly sloppy Asai DDT, but otherwise looked better than he's looked since coming to the WWE. After the match, Funaki & Ultimo go greet the Fuji TV representatives.
Line of the Match Tazz: Double Irish Whip from two Japanese guys.
Recap: Lesnar/Undertaker. Lesnar's Nelson Laugh (HAW HAW) made this entire segment worthwhile.
Rhyno vs. Orlando Jordan The match seemed a little flat after watching a hot Ultimo Dragon, but there wasn't anything wrong with it. Josh actually talks about how Orlando Jordan is trying to move up to Smackdown. They really should work that into storylines and interviews to make Velocity seem more important, like it's the proving ground for guys hoping to move up, not the place for people who aren't good enough for the main show. Rhyno hits the Gore and Jordan does a full flip, landing on his head. One bit of inside information I'm glad I learned from the Internet is the referee's hand signals. Otherwise, I would have been worried that Jordan was legit hurt from that bump.
Line of the Match Josh: I just got the Internet and I learned all these interesting things about wrestling and I'm going to say them all here on Velocity.
Sign of the Night D.V.D.A
I didn't see Spiraling_Shape's SHADES OF POKER FACE sign, unfortunately. Did it not make TV or did I miss it while writing down notes?
Move of the Night Kidman's Reverse BK Bomb on Nunzio. Guess Nunzio didn't have it his way.
Additional Lines of the Night Tazz: Who's Machivelli? Josh: Some rapper.
Tazz: My grandmother could kick your ass.
Nunzio yells for the crowd to shut up. Tazz starts going on about how Bugs Bunny used to say shut up with the same accent. Josh calls the match. Tazz bitches out Josh for ignoring his input. Josh calls the match. Tazz bitches at Josh for ignoring him again.
Josh: I read it on the Internet. Tazz: Well, then it must be true!
All in all, a very good show. One excellent match thanks to Ultimo Dragon, 2 good matches and a decent main event. Good commentary, as always. Tazz & Josh are really starting to mesh well together. An occasional awkward spot but nothing major. On several occasions, Josh called the match for long periods of time, proving that he's a perfectly competent play-by-play guy. I'd almost go so far to say that I'd like to see Josh replace Michael Cole in the near future.
I didn't get to watch Velocity and didn't read any spoilers but just to show how good Josh and Tazz is that when I figured I wouldn't be able to catch the show I thought "Damn I'm going to miss Josh & Tazz commentary" LoL I don't think I've ever been disappointed in missing a show strictly on the commentary.
Josh: (as Kidman launches the SSP) "Press the right trigger on your Gamecube.".- How fabulous is that line!... -Josh: "I just got the Internet and I learned all these interesting things about wrestling and I'm going to say them all here on Velocity."- Josh is most likely person in wrestling to have registered on this site LoL
Don't know if you can get away with this silliness on an A-show. But it's perfect for a B-show like this... Personally I wouldn't mind at all having Josh & Tazz doing an A-show.
That link was from an earlier thread, and I was under the impression that it was some work of authority. Of course, I have no idea why I thought that, since no one claimed it to be so. It's still funny.