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The W - Pro Wrestling - Velocity - 09.27.03
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InVerse
Bierwurst








Since: 26.8.02

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 2 hours
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.75
Dish Network's preview lists Orlando Jordan vs. Rhyno. I can't say that I'm looking forward to that one, but it shouldn't suck. Matt & Shannon were on Smackdown & Spanky is still dead, so it looks like it's up to Ultimo Dragon and Funaki to keep the show hot this week.


Nunzio vs. Kidman
Good chain wrestling to start the match. When both men had their backs to the camera, I had them temporarily confused until I noticed their shorts. Have I mentioned the awesomeness of Kidman's DVD neckbreaker? Nothing spectacular, but they kept the match moving at a decent pace. Kidman wins with the Shooting Star Press.

Line of the Match
Josh: (as Kidman launches the SSP) Press the right trigger on your Gamecube.


Recap: Eddie Guerrero is God.


Crowbar vs. Sean O'Haire
Holy crap, it's Crowbar! As Tazz points out, Crowbar looks a lot bigger, but still in good shape. Josh actually puts over Crowbar as a former WCW Tag, Hardcore and Cruiserweight champion. SHADES OF POKER FACE as Crowbar hits a flying cross body. Nice spot where O'Haire has Crowbar in a Fujiwara Armbar and grabs his thumb and starts tweaking it as well. O'Haire wins with the Inverted Death Valley Driver which no longer has a name.

Line of the Match
Tazz: Crowbar must be pretty heavy into religion.
Josh: Why's that?
Tazz: He has holy pants.
(Josh actually busts out laughing at this point.)


Ultimo Dragon & Funaki vs. Jason Picaro and Joey Matthews
Excellent, fast paced action here. Towards the end of the match, Ultimo Dragon suddenly switches into god mode and goes absolutely nuts, nailing about a couple dozen moves in the span of about 30 seconds, including a sweet Asai Moonsault into a standing Matthews. Matthews and Dragon exchange chain chops at one point that looked pretty damn painful. Dragon wins with a slightly sloppy Asai DDT, but otherwise looked better than he's looked since coming to the WWE. After the match, Funaki & Ultimo go greet the Fuji TV representatives.

Line of the Match
Tazz: Double Irish Whip from two Japanese guys.


Recap: Lesnar/Undertaker. Lesnar's Nelson Laugh (HAW HAW) made this entire segment worthwhile.


Rhyno vs. Orlando Jordan
The match seemed a little flat after watching a hot Ultimo Dragon, but there wasn't anything wrong with it. Josh actually talks about how Orlando Jordan is trying to move up to Smackdown. They really should work that into storylines and interviews to make Velocity seem more important, like it's the proving ground for guys hoping to move up, not the place for people who aren't good enough for the main show. Rhyno hits the Gore and Jordan does a full flip, landing on his head. One bit of inside information I'm glad I learned from the Internet is the referee's hand signals. Otherwise, I would have been worried that Jordan was legit hurt from that bump.

Line of the Match
Josh: I just got the Internet and I learned all these interesting things about wrestling and I'm going to say them all here on Velocity.


Sign of the Night
D.V.D.A

I didn't see Spiraling_Shape's SHADES OF POKER FACE sign, unfortunately. Did it not make TV or did I miss it while writing down notes?

Move of the Night
Kidman's Reverse BK Bomb on Nunzio. Guess Nunzio didn't have it his way.

Additional Lines of the Night
Tazz: Who's Machivelli?
Josh: Some rapper.

Tazz: My grandmother could kick your ass.

Nunzio yells for the crowd to shut up. Tazz starts going on about how Bugs Bunny used to say shut up with the same accent. Josh calls the match. Tazz bitches out Josh for ignoring his input. Josh calls the match. Tazz bitches at Josh for ignoring him again.

Josh: I read it on the Internet.
Tazz: Well, then it must be true!


All in all, a very good show. One excellent match thanks to Ultimo Dragon, 2 good matches and a decent main event. Good commentary, as always. Tazz & Josh are really starting to mesh well together. An occasional awkward spot but nothing major. On several occasions, Josh called the match for long periods of time, proving that he's a perfectly competent play-by-play guy. I'd almost go so far to say that I'd like to see Josh replace Michael Cole in the near future.
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odessasteps
Scrapple








Since: 2.1.02
From: MD, USA

Since last post: 186 days
Last activity: 153 days
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.41

You didn't mention my favorite line of the night, which is the same one Meltz's reviewer mentioned.

T: Are you related to Lisa Matthews?
J: NO
T: I went out with her in high school. What a rack!




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geemoney
Scrapple








Since: 26.1.03
From: Naples, FL

Since last post: 3 days
Last activity: 29 min.
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#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 0.88
Damn! I was gonna watch just to see Crowbar, but alas, a movie on SCI-FI had my attention, and I forgot all about it.
SchippeWreck
Banger








Since: 26.3.03
From: Glendale, CA

Since last post: 5 days
Last activity: 3 hours
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.11
I also enjoyed Tazz' bit of play-by-play in the Ultimo match:

"Kick to the chest!
Kick to the ass!
Kick to the chest!
Kick to the ass!
Kick to the face!"

Josh: "My grandmother used to do that to me."



Peter The Hegemon
Lap cheong








Since: 11.2.03
From: Hackettstown, NJ

Since last post: 34 days
Last activity: 14 hours
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.57
It's fun that so many familiar WCW/ECW faces are showing up on Velocity.

Crowbar was also on Heat, so I got to blatantly steal Tazz' joke about his pants for the amusement of the 15 year old kid who hangs out with me while his mother works in the next studio.
Net Hack Slasher
Banger








Since: 6.1.02
From: Outer reaches of your mind

Since last post: 3648 days
Last activity: 2068 days
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.08
I didn't get to watch Velocity and didn't read any spoilers but just to show how good Josh and Tazz is that when I figured I wouldn't be able to catch the show I thought "Damn I'm going to miss Josh & Tazz commentary" LoL I don't think I've ever been disappointed in missing a show strictly on the commentary.

Josh: (as Kidman launches the SSP) "Press the right trigger on your Gamecube.".- How fabulous is that line!... -Josh: "I just got the Internet and I learned all these interesting things about wrestling and I'm going to say them all here on Velocity."- Josh is most likely person in wrestling to have registered on this site LoL

Don't know if you can get away with this silliness on an A-show. But it's perfect for a B-show like this... Personally I wouldn't mind at all having Josh & Tazz doing an A-show.




Me fail English? That's unpossible
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Well I thought RVD would be in there a long time, say come in one of the first five and last until the last five.
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