Woo Hoo! Amidst all the confusion regarding Velocity and Heat and which was going to be on when, the WWE did the best thing they could possibly do. They left Saturday night alone. As much as I'm a fan of Heat's general manager, I'd rather wait a week to see his epic confrontation with the grandson of a plumber than miss what was bound to be a show of good matches. (Incidentally, I originally typoed plumber as plumper and debated whether to fix the typo or just drop the grand.)
Nunzio vs Orlando Jordan - Good back and forth action from these two. Nothing spectacular, but nothing worth criticizing either. The Black Ice, as Jordan's finisher is now called, looked especially awesome tonight. Josh fell flat with his attempted Taz impersonation, confusing Rodney, Martin Luther and Don King.
Kanyon vs Jason Sakoda - While I can't pinpoint what it was, something just seemed off about this match. It seemed to me like Sakoda had perfected the basics of wrestling but didn't have anything in his repertoire beyond that. Sadly, I think Cat is right. Kanyon is ugly. Maybe I'm hallucinating but didn't he used to have a better look? As much as I enjoy Kanyon's in-ring abilities, he could stand to wash his hair and change his pants. Kanyon wins with the flatliner.
Spanky & Funaki vs The Basham Brothers - Good back and forth action. Spanky hit some interesting spots, including one where a Basham was in the corner and Spanky ran up him and did a backflip ala Tiger Mask (according to Josh.) The Meat Curtain improved this week with Danny hitting the bulldog from the corner as Doug catapulted Spanky. The Bashams win with the Ball & Gag (a Side Russian Leg Sweep/Lariat combination.) Spanky & Funaki have good chemistry, I'd like to see them in against Haas & Benjamin.
Only 3 matches tonight thanks to the exceptionally long recaps, plus the Vengeance video. Since it's the last show before the PPV, though, I suppose it's forgivable. At least none of the 3 matches were squashes.
Surprisingly, I didn't get annoyed at the commentary at all tonight. During the points where Ernest Miller might have gotten annoying, Josh was telling him to shut up, so it was still tolerable. Josh also seems to have picked up that he should ask Cat direct questions when he starts to go silent, so there were no long pauses this week at all.
Line of the Night: "Puppies? 1986 called." Josh's response to The Cat's comments regarding the Steph/Stable 'brawl'.
Josh catapulted up the play by play food chain by saying "1986 just called" when The Cat said puppies. Much respect to Josh for saying that, also haha props by calling Linda Miles whip the "Magic Stick" LoL
cause there's limits to our liberties. 'Least I hope and pray that there are, cause those liberal freaks go too far.
I'll crush all opposition to me And I'll make Ted Kennedy pay If he fights back, I'll say that he's gay
Originally posted by StampedeFan23The Meat Curtain? How can they get away with saying that on TV? I shudder to think what the move actually looks like.
Well, most people probably don't even understand the reference. The move looks pretty good, though. One Basham does the slingshot/catapult.. whatever the move is actually called, where you hold their legs and fall back, flinging them face first, normally into the corner.. except they slingshot their opponent towards the center of the ring and the other one catches them at the peak of the slingshot with a bulldog.
I think what I like so much about Josh is that it doesn't sound like he's trying to play to the Smarks, he just happens to share a lot of the same opinions as the so-called IWC. He's also proven to have a lot more knowledge of old school wrestling than I would have expected.
Orlando Jordan just isn't doing it for me. Watching him wrestle is like flashingback to Rocky Maivia, only without the Blue Chipper push and IC Title. I mean he's not god awful or anything, and if he's pushed against the right opponents who can carry him he might get over.
Orlando Jordan is the same vanilla OVW type that they just don't have any ideas of what to do with. They need to find a wrestler named Dennis Byrd for him to team with, so they can be "Jordan & Byrd"...
Well, Cena and Orton were vanilla OVW guys when they debuted, and they're doing pretty well for themselves now. (And shouldn't Jordan be a chocolate OVW guy?) Jordan looks good, moves okay, and I'd rather watch him than Billy Gunn, so I'm willing to give him time.
"I do have a degree in electrical engineering... from almost 20 years ago. Punchcard systems were just becoming obsolete, we had rotary phones in the dorms, and a modem was still a gizmo the size of a shoebox into which you squooshed the phone receiver itself. In short, we lived like animals.
The instant obsolesence is why I became a writer. The rate of punctuation in a sentence doesn't double every 18 friggin' months, and you never have some 22-year-old looming over your shoulder, shaking his head, saying "dude... you're still using adverbs...?"
He could devote more time to announcing bodybuilding..or go down to OVW and lose some bulk...or go to Japan and improve his moveset...or get an acting coach and improve his promos...or go have posedowns with Hogan in Hogan's living room.