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The W - Pro Wrestling - Velocity - 07/19/03
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InVerse
Bierwurst








Since: 26.8.02

Since last post: 10 hours
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#1 Posted on
Not as good as last week but a perfectly good show in it's own right. As bad as Ernest Miller is (Josh actually got pissed off and bitched at him for his prolonged silence at one point.) I think Matthews is more likely to get fired. First he makes a TAKA Michinoku reference during the first match, then he mentions OVW in what I think is the first time I've ever heard OVW mentioned on WWE television.

Spanky/Funaki vs. Palumbo/Stamboli - I never would have expected to say Palumbo was the highlight of this matchup (unless all three of the other participants tore their quads on the way to ringside) but Chuck seemed to be on fire for this match, stepping up his intensity a notch. Good action from all competitors. Holy shit! Funaki gets a clean pinfall?! Judging by the commentary, I expect to see Funaki & Spanky teaming together on Smackdown soon.

Basham Brothers vs. Matt Cappitelli/Johnny Jeter - Well, here's Matt's return to the WWE since that first Tough Enough exhibition match on RAW. Nothing spectacular from the Tough Enough winner, but nothing bad either. Looks like he's continued to improve down in OVW and he had a nice double high cross body. We finally get to see the Basham's much hyped Ball & Gag finisher. Basically, it's a Side Russian Leg Sweep where the other Basham clotheslines their victim. Another move they debuted (or at least I hadn't seem them use it) was called the Meat Curtain. I forget what the move was now (though I remember liking it more than the Ball & Gag) but I figure I should at least mention the name so as to raise the obscenity rating of this review.

After the match, Matt and his fellow Tough Enough winner John are backstage. I'm guessing maybe John had a dark match, but I haven't read the spoilers yet. The APA show up and give them a leftover invitation to their APA Invitational Bar Room Brawl. Seems it was originally intended for... um, that guy with the mask. Spiderman? Thunderlips? The Incredible.. well, whatever. Bradshaw was actually funny during this skit.

A-Train vs. Orlando Jordan - Well, Jordan certainly isn't getting the Brock push. Or even the Cena push. A decent match by Albert standards. Jordan did a good job of selling the arms that Albert consistently worked over. Jordan would do the RVD patented 'forget about the pain long enough to use the hurt bodypart for your signature maneuvers' but would immediately go back to selling the arms after each flurry. Albert wins with the Train Wreck.

Commercial for Bradshaw's book. The cover has him not only with his long black hair but in full cowboy gear. So now, I have to ask. What the hell DID happen to Bradshaw's hair?

Nidia vs. Dawn Marie - Probably the worst choice of the four matches for a main event, but at least the match didn't have anything particularly bad to make fun of. They at least try to give the match a purpose by having Dawn Marie make fun of Nidia's boyfriend Jamie Noble trying to buy sex from Torrie Wilson. I thought maybe they were going to start a face turn for Nidia but she wins by holding the ropes. Dawn Marie looked pretty good in this match, though. Physically, that is, not necessarily technically. I think maybe Dawn passed her "old leathery slut" gimmick to Sable and is now using a "relatively young, fairly smooth slut" gimmick.

And hey, for those that complain about the B shows being recap spectacles, the three in-show recaps featured Kurt Angle, Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit matches. Not many people here can complain about that. (Yes, there was a Steph/Sable recap but it was one of those sponsored Burn of the Night recaps that was edited even more than the 'moments ago' recap from Smackdown.)

All in all, the show was certainly worth my time. And Funaki gets a clean win! Combined with his win over Albert in Japan, that's two in one week. It may be a new singles record for Smackdown's Numba One Announca! Can a cruiserweight title push be far behind?



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darkdragoon
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Since: 26.8.02

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#2 Posted on
would the 'meat curtain' then be Danny's (at least I think it's danny) inverted fameasserish thing?
InVerse
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Since: 26.8.02

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#3 Posted on

    Originally posted by darkdragoon
    would the 'meat curtain' then be Danny's (at least I think it's danny) inverted fameasserish thing?


I remember at least half of the move now. One Basham went as if to slingshot their opponent but instead of releasing him so that he flew across the ring, the other Basham caught him somehow and drive him into the mat.



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Since: 2.1.02
From: Seattle, Washington

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#4 Posted on

    Originally posted by InVerse

      Originally posted by darkdragoon
      would the 'meat curtain' then be Danny's (at least I think it's danny) inverted fameasserish thing?


    I remember at least half of the move now. One Basham went as if to slingshot their opponent but instead of releasing him so that he flew across the ring, the other Basham caught him somehow and drive him into the mat.



The second Basham came off the second rope with a bulldog on the guy as he popped up in the slingshot. Slightly sloppy but it looked brutal.

Jeter's running sleeperhold drop was pretty choice, though.

Mike
The Vile1
Lap cheong








Since: 4.9.02
From: California

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#5 Posted on
I think Josh Matthews was really trying and doing his best and did a good job of commentating the show, but Ernest The Cat Miller was just all round terrible on this show. There's no chemistry at all between those two, and its pretty bad seeing Matthews trying to carry the announcing team all by himself and Ernest Miller adds nothing to the show. Anyway, Ernest Miller has no place at all doing color commentary, call up Stevie Ray or anybody else, they would all probably be better than Miller. Why not even try pairing Tazz with Matthews for Velocity?




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Torchslasher
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Since: 17.1.02
From: New F'n Jersey

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#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.44
This is interesting because I thought Ernest was pretty good during the matches. The problem for The Cat was when he had to "go by the script." When he was going over the Vengeance card with Josh, Miller didn't even seem to try hard. Hell, he just read the same script as Tazz, almost word for word. "Hey, thanks Miller, I didn't know that Brock Lesnar was a combination of Big Show and Kurt Angle."

Speaking of Josh, I think his job is secure. In fact, Josh does more than JR at this point. He commentates on Velocity. He does backstage interviews for Smackdown. He's been a ring announcer. He does the Afterburn syndicated show. No, Josh is not going anywhere (and I for one am glad).

Most of the matches were okay, but why did the Basham match get so freakin much time? Most of the matches on Smackdown aren't as long as this. And for what? Matt from TEIII? Who cares...just squash him and Jeter!

BTW, Dawn Marie just shouldn't wrestle. She needs to stick to valeting.



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dskillz
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Since: 2.1.02
From: Houston Texas

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#7 Posted on
Nidia vs. Dawn Marie really surprised me. Nidia is alot better wrestler than I thought she was. Dawn was really, really bad. Moving in slow motion compared to Nidia. I have no idea why it was the Main event, but it wasn't a horrible match. I liked the entire show actually. I am not going to bash The Cat too much. Tazz used to be horrible too when he started.



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y4j1981
Kolbasz








Since: 1.4.03
From: Dale City, Virginia

Since last post: 1988 days
Last activity: 1928 days
#8 Posted on
Is that where Dawn Marie went too? I don't get to see weekend WWE TV that much anymore and I keep thinking what happened to Dawn? And it seems she is on Velocity.



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Tenken347
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Since: 27.2.03
From: Parts Unknown

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#9 Posted on
Man, not only did Funaki get the clean pinfall, he also managed to hit a swank spinning DDT off the turnbuckle. Makes me remember the days when Kaientai was awesome.
fuelinjected
Banger








Since: 12.10.02
From: Canada

Since last post: 3263 days
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#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.15
They should bring up Jeter soon and put him in the Cruiserweight Division. The Bashams are good in the ring but their gimmick is so forced and lame.

Hopefully that Funaki & Spanky win will at least set them up to do a job to the World's Greatest Tag Team this week on Smackdown. If they're only going to have like one Cruiserweight feud at a time, team some of these guys up and have them feud in tag matches.

Personally, I enjoy Velocity and Heat when they use OVW or indy guys as jobbers now. The guys are hungry and looking to impress management. If the show's are going to be meaningless in the grand scheme of things and only the hardcore fans watch them, then they should just throw together good workers. If its just filler, you may as well make it good like WCW used to.
HomerJFong
Ten Millionth Hit








Since: 19.3.02
From: Ontario, Canada

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#11 Posted on
The real danger is though, that it might devolve inter the sameness that was all over WCW Saturday Night during the dying days of the Muthaship. All Power Plant, all the time. The matches were all in the watchable range, but with the exception of Elix Skipper, nobody really made an attempt in their moveset to do something different. A Rick Cornell match was the same as a Sonny Siaki match which was the same as a Chuck Palumbo match.




Net Hack Slasher
Banger








Since: 6.1.02
From: Outer reaches of your mind

Since last post: 3591 days
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#12 Posted on

    Originally posted by y4j1981
    Is that where Dawn Marie went too? I don't get to see weekend WWE TV that much anymore and I keep thinking what happened to Dawn? And it seems she is on Velocity.

No not really, this is the first time in ages I've seen Dawn on any TV show including Velocity... Shame I still think she's the best valet on the roster. She's got a certain chrasima & charm to her. Her offense looked pretty weak here, but she bumps and sells well enough.



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TSN has the whole video of the interview up on their website, in hi and low-speed formats. It is awesome, check it out! Here is the link: http://www.tsn.ca/wrestling/news_story.asp?
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