If everything stays the same and no one changes their minds, this is what the WWF is potentially looking at two years from now:
No Rock, or a verrry part time Rock.
No Hogan, Nash, or Hall. They're all under two year contracts. None need money, and all have said that they were just here for "one last ride".
Austin will probably be forced into retirement due to injuries. The Torch recently reported that Stone Cold is already experiencing numbness in his fingers and toes. Seeing how the guy doesn't accept anything less than 100% from his body in the ring, he'd rather walk out than be wheeled out.
RVD, if he sticks to his plan, is gone. He signed a three year deal last year. He always seemed to be that rare top notch performer who was quite happy being the "Main Feature" of an Indy show.
Undertaker is right now looking at the tail end of a long, productive career. How much longer do you think he can last?
Booker T has said that he's 36 years old and looking to wrap things up too. Same goes with Bradshaw, who will never be a main eventer but is definitely money in the bank for a solid mid-card. The thing is, Bradshaw's a brillaint money manager. It won't be too much longer before he is finacially set for life, if he isn't already.
So, that leaves HHH and Angle as full time main eventers. Jericho is pretty much there, except that he doesn't get along with HHH. Benoit's neck will forever be a nagging problem.
Time to plant those seeds, I think. What will the WWF be like in two years?
I'd sell my soul for a porn star, preferably one with a vagina.
A few words of caution: it's pretty hard to hit the nail on the head. Heck, think back to April 2000. Did you think that two years from then:
* WCW would be bought out by the WWF and run out of business? * ECW would lose TV, and go out of business? * Hogan, Hall and Nash would go back to the WWF, reform the nWo, and then the red-and-yellow Hulkster would return? * Mick Foley, Chyna, Bischoff and Russo (2 outta 4 ain't bad) would be gone? * WWF Tough Enough? * WWF snubs USA Networks for TNN and the Viacom conglomerate? * Whaddya mean, The Rock's in a movie!? * Kane talks? Without a voice box? Shows his arm? See-through shirts showing off nipples? * Brand extension? * RIC F'N FLAIR? ARN BY-GOD ANDERSON? PAUL HEYMAN!?
Hats off to anybody who can figure out WWF 2004. Hell, I can't figure out WWF now.
Star wipe, and...we're out. Thrillin' ain't easy. . . THE THRILL ACW-TV...er, Home Video Technical Director...and Circle Too 4 Life!
-Rock will be mostly gone. He's got bigger fish to fry than driving from Albequerque to Phoenix to wrestle at a house show.
-Austin will still be around. If we're lucky, "What?" won't be though.
-HHH will still be around, he'll be on top, and very possibly have exceeded Scott Steiner in terms of muscle mass.
-Undertaker will still be around, and people will still be saying "he'll be going soon and people will get their crack at the top."
-Jericho will still be in the upper mid card and still never have gotten a meaningful win over HHH.
-Hogan will have gone away for about 8-12 months and be on the verge or just starting an amazing comeback, quite possibly with the rest of the NWO with new member Bill Goldberg.
-Benoit will hopefully be around, or else I will be very sad. If he's around, he'll still be feuding with Jericho, or....
-RVD will still be here, as the price of weed is only going to go up, and eventually through sheer force of will he will eventually get a crack at the top card.
-Edge and Booker and Angle will be in the 345th iteration of their ongoing midcard circle jerk. Angle and Booker will be faces against Edge and his unlikely partner Eddy Guerrero.
-Kane vs. Big Show...Feel the Excitement.
"You used it to shove your miserable daughter down our throats week in and week out...not anymore!" - Ric Flair gives me hope, Raw 3/18/02
"I thought it was cool how HHH just tossed Jericho out of the ring and made him vanish, possibly into another dimension, at the end of the match." - Dr. Unlikely says the funniest thing I've ever read on Wienerville.
I think they'll be out of business in two years. They are quite happy with the status quo. None of the main-eventers has had a makeover in a while. They probably won't shake things up until the ratings tank - which is where WCW screwed up. I could see Vince ultimately being signed to work in a new fed run by Ted Turner or something in a few years. Ted's just got too much money to not win the wrestling wars in the end.
None of the Main-Eventers have had a makeover in a while?!?!?
Austin Heel turn, Angle Face turn, Jericho Heel turn, Triple H Face turn. Of course they all flopped in their own special ways (but I did enjoy all of them except for HHH), but I think you're not really thinking this through. Oh yeah, don't forget UT heel turn, the nWo, and the Hogan face run as things that happened in the ME in the past year that were surprising.
"You gotta hate somebody before this is over. Them, me, it doesn't matter."
"Hate, who do I hate? You tell me."
"Who do you love?"
-Wintermute to Case in William Gibson's Neuromancer
I'm actually in the rare position of trying to defend the WWF. Here goes.
I don't believe that the WWF will be out of business in two years. Right now, I feel that Hogan is enjoying his last run at the top before retiring. Undertaker will likely be gone in two years, and perhaps Austin.
Call me crazy, but I don't believe The Rock will leave the WWF for a full-time movie career. One of his movies (perhaps Helldorado-- what the hell kinda name is that?) will flop, and Rock will have to remain in the WWF. And even if he does have a successful movie career, I just don't think there's any way he could be more successful in the movies than he's been in the WWF.
OK, I know these predictions will probably end up being way off-target (too optimistic?), but I'll take a swing at a few.
Predictions for April 2004 Drafted April 18, 2002
--By 2004, one or more of the Hardy Boys will be a main-event singles star. Probably Jeff because he’s crazy, even though Matt is better.
--By 2004, Brock Lesnar will have won the WWF Championship.
--Bill Goldberg will not have wrestled for the WWF between now and 2004.
--Low Ki’ will be a star in the WWF, perhaps in the cruiserweight division.
--Kane will still be around, and probably be a bigger star than he is now.
--Steve Austin will be either gone or on his way out.
--Rob Van Dam will have won the WWF Championship.
--At least three of the McMahons will have an important role to play in storylines (most likely Vince, Shane and Stephanie).
--Chris Benoit will have won the WWF Championship.
--Kurt Angle will have won the WWF World Tag Team Championship.
--Kurt Angle will be one of the favorites to win an Olympic gold medal in freestyle wrestling in Athens in 2004.
--Most of the old guys who’ve recently returned to the WWF will be gone—or at least, gone in a full-time wrestling capacity.
--Sting will not have wrestled for the WWF between now and 2004.
--Jeff Jarrett will not have wrestled for the WWF between now and 2004.
--There will be a few upstart wrestling promotions that have a cult-like following; however, none will approach the WWF in terms of popularity or success.
--A dominant cruiserweight division still will not exist in the WWF in 2004.
--A WWF Superstar who we’ve never even conceived of in 2002 will enjoy a tremendous run of success and be on top of (or very near the top) of the promotion by 2004.
--Edge and Christian will get back together as a tag-team between now and 2004.
I've actually saved these predictions on my computer, and as they're proven or disproven, I'll let everyone know. Hey, this game might actually be fun.
“If there's anything I hate, it's a loud-mouthed Canadian with blonde hair who dresses like a rock star... except you, you're cool.”
--Kurt Angle to Chris Jericho, Smackdown 4/11/2002
Let me give this one a try. In the year 2004 I think the following will happen:
Nash and Hall will be gone, but Hogan will still be around in some form or fashion with the WWF.
HHH will finally suffer an injury similar to Steiner as a result of all the vitamins he takes, and will no longer be useful, but will still be put over Jericho every time they meet
At least one more person from the WWF's past will return for one more run (I am aiming at Michaels or Hart).
Kurt Angle will finally be a worthy face and bring the WWF into their next peak.
Chris Benoit will become the heel that every internet fan sees in him, and he will become Angle's main foil.
Rock might not be around at all because he will be the next big action star. Movies he would have made, or be in the process of making are, a Scorpion King sequel (next Connan style saga), some type of action comedy, and a big budget action film which he will mark the end of his WWF career.
Chris Jericho might get one more run with the WWF Title.
William Regal will hold the WWF Title longer than Jericho (and more times over the two years, I am thinking 3-2).
Making references about smoking pot will not be a taboo subject anymore, and with his old gimmick RVD will become the most popular wrestler in WWF history. He will also hold the IC belt for a majority of the next 2 years leading to his first WWF Title win.
The Brand extension will end as Smackdown is cancelled on UPN, so they can air some reality show. This will cause the WWF to go back to using all their shows for first run matches, and will be the backbone to the next boom in wrestling. There will also be a new touring system, where there is a WWF show every night of the week, and the 2 crews will trade off on different places, with Raw being the central piece of everything.
The WWF will start a new developemental program with somebody in the Northeast. This place will be run by Paul Heyman and will use mostly his unused ECW guys, and some newly signed talent from the Northeast indy scene. Raven, Dreamer, and/or Tazz will be the head trainers.
Here's the biggie... Something will cause Vince to decide not to go on the road anymore and will focus on staying in CT and handling some of the day-to-day things. Vince will initially let both kids run things, and Shane doesn't stand up to her sister and she begins to run the company into the ground. After a couple sad buy-rates, and after the loss of Smackdown (insiders will blame her poor management skills for it) Shane will take full control of what is seen on TV, and run it much like his father did in the before the advent of crash TV. And he will not be on TV once, but sadly Steph will.
Oh... and the Cruiserweight Division is still a joke
Now if any of these things happen, feel free to send me large sums of money so I could tell you your future next.
Mr. Flugelman: Do you know what "nada" means? Dusty: Isn't that a light chicken gravy? - Three Amigos (1986)
Austin will still be around. "What" won't be said nearly as often, but it'll exist in some shape, form, or fashion.
Undertaker will be close to retirement, but not quite there. Inspired by Hogan and the nWo, he'll have decided that he can last as long any of them.
Nash will be around and wrestling. Hogan won't be wrestling on a full time basis, but he'll get in the ring on special occasions to prove to all the youngsters, he's still got it brother. Hall may or may notbe with the WWF. Too close to call.
Hogan will have won the WWF title. Either Hall or Nash will have won it at least once as well.
Shawn Michaels will show up maybe once or twice and not really do anything important.
Foley will return.
Sting, JJ, and Goldberg won't be in the WWF.
Scott Steiner will be a former WWF champion.
Either RVD, Edge, or Chris Benoit will be former WWF champion. Only one of them, though.
Angle and Jericho will have won the title twice between themselves.
HHH will be a heel.
Rock will only show up once in a while. no full time wrestling for him.
//EDIT! I forgot one. X-Pac will be a face!!!
(edited by LeechOfTheNight on 18.4.02 0950)
"Look at these morose motherf*ckers right here. Smells like someone took a sh*t in their cereal. BOOOONG!" --Holden McNeil
WWF dead in two years? I just don't see it. Something really god awful would have to happen (and no smarties, it's not the product we have now.)
-Most likely to be wrong: Rock will be wrestling (probably not full time). One word...Helldorado! Really, I just don't think he can pull of the fulltime star thing. But he will be a bigger success than Hogan, either way. Probably just because of The Scorpion King alone.
-Austin will be around, but nearing the end. What will never go away, just won't be the focal point of his promos. By then he will have the word "appendicitis" over.
-Lensar will be a WWF Champion.
-UT will still be around.
-HHH will be gone! Muhahahahahahaha! His body will have gained enough mass to collapses under it's own gravity creating the first wrestling-related black hole. Of course the rest of the world will be screwed as well. Maybe this one should be "most likely to be wrong?"
-Other people who will be gone from TV (retired, released, training, minors, etc.): Booker T, Goldust, Hennig, Hall, Nash, Hogan, Tommy Dreamer, Saturn, Al Snow, Billy Gunn(it's a stretch, but ya never know), Bob Holly (another stretch), Crash, Rico, Godfather, Polumbo and Mark Henry.
-Benoit hopefully will have a title reign. Of course by now the internet fans will have turned on him.
-RVD will have been WWF champ, but I think he'll drop in popularity soon after (I don't know why just yet.)
-Jericho will still be around and a pain in the ass (probably have a face turn sometime during this period.)
-Jeff Hardy will be retired due to injury/want. Matt will be stuck in the mid to lower card. Lita will be the next Diva casuality (Either her or Stacy Keibler.)
-Vince will still be a dirty old man, hopefully just off TV.
Wrestling in 2004: -Austin will work a lighter schedule, possibly as the new WWF Commisioner. (Heh, Austin in an authority role. Irony can be so ironic sometimes.)
-HHH's injuries will not end with his quad. We see the Game spending more time on the DL.
-X-Pac will still suck and the fans will still let him know it. He will, however have a run with the IC belt.
-Rocky will still wrestle part time as a nod to where it all began for him.
-With two or three years having lapsed, the WWF will take another shot at a WCW invasion. Either that, or the one of the brands will take over WCWs old ppvs.
-The Jarrett's new promotion with it's weekly ppvs will flop, however, the WWA will gain some ECW-level popularity simply by virtue of being an alternative. The WWF will allow them to exist to a certain extent.
Judging from the steroid-related injuries HHH has had so far (the recent surgeries on the knee and the quad), the roids should be making the rounds on his internal organs. Looking at the constant state of tension in his muscles, he'll have had his first roid related nosebleed by this point and the damage of the kideys and liver will be getting off to a good start by 2004. 20 years from now, if he doesn't get that needle out of his ass, he'll be in worse shape than Superstar.
X-pac will still be the guy you all love to hate. I'll continue to cheer him just to piss people off! :-)
Jeff Hardy will take part in his first Hell in a Cell match. He will be severely injured attempting a Swanton Bomb off the top of the Cell through the Spanish announce table and retire. Later on, after a heel turn that breaks up the Hardys for good, Jeff shows up on Raw with his new tag partner, and life partner, Tokyo Magnum.
RVD will introduce his new tag team partner, Road Dogg. THey won't have an official team name, but they'll introduce a devastating tag maneuver called "The Hit From The Bong" (A variation of Total Elimination where RVD does a legsweep while Road Dogg does a flying forearm).
Stephanie will show up on tv, only to be rushed by the angry crowd and torn to pieces in response. The next week, Vince will show a memorial episode of RAW for "Daddy's little Girl".
The Rock will still be The Man, and even a simple 10-second tape of The Rock waving to the fans will get a bigger pop than anything Triple H has ever done.
Stone Cold should be getting a bit tired of "What" by this point...
Brock and Kurt Angle will be the latest additions to the revived and kickass WWF tag team scene. Paul Heyman will revert to his Paul E. Dangerously persona, lose some weight, get that big ass cell phone and name his team "Stars and Stripes".
"All born equal unless you're Canadian Then halfway through decay like Uranium You define what's death-defying Get the most out of life or at the least die trying Are you Evil Knievel jumping a train? Or running with scissors like Frasier Crane? Have really good times doing really bad things ‘Cause the show ain't over ‘til the fat lady sings Like Elton John with his candle in the wind It's hard to blow out a flame as big as him But we've all got to Wang Chung with the Grim Reaper Whether you're Einstein whether you're Beaker Death is certain so it's definitely worth flirtin' Don't expect a bright light no just curtains Life is like a penis most people don't know it But most people suck so they usually blow it"
From "Take The Long Way Home", by The Bloodhound Gang
Hmmm.... Two years from now..... Austin is holding the title, but Brock continues his push to the moon, and takes the title from Austin at WM XX HHH is out with another injury, again, Rock is gone to Hollywood, but occasionally shows up on Smackdown to huge pops, but doesn't actually wrestle anymore; he's just the "People's Representative" Angle has had one more title reign at this point, taking the belt from Taker at Royal Rumble 2003, then dropping it to Austin at WM X-9 Hogan loses to HHH, takes some time off, then the Red and Yellow gets the Belt SummerSlam 2002, then drops it to Taker at SS 2002, and retires to the "Front Office" RVD continues his reign as IC champ until KotR 2003, when he is forced by Stephanie (who has RAW by now; I think the extension will work), to drop the belt to compete in the tourney, which he'll win, culminating in his title shot at (insert ppv between Summer and Survivor), which he'll lose Eddie then goes to a long reign as IC champ, trading it among himself, Regal, Bradshaw, and Booker T... Jericho gets about 3 title shots in here, but loses them all... Kane Challanges Taker, loses, then helps him keep the title until he drops it to Angle, when he returns to midcard status... Crusierweights are finally just pushed off of both main shows, but Excess suddenly gets watched a lot more as it becomes a one hour, taped wrestling show for little guys only, with lots of storylines about how some of the crusiers are happy to be there and want their title, but some resent being stuck there and challenge some of the big guys on ppvs and stuff (this is my personal dream, anyway)... Shane takes over Smackdown for Vince, and immediately books himself into a feud with Benoit, who plays up his crippler nickname when Shane is forced into a wheelchair (actually from a Car accident, but they use a stuntman to make it look like Benoit parylized Shane), and Shane brings out his "weapon," the much improved (but still big and Aussie) Nathan Jones.... Umm, well, that's kind of long.....
This isn't Moscow, this isn't Tokyo, We are Invincible!
Originally posted by The ThrillHats off to anybody who can figure out WWF 2004. Hell, I can't figure out WWF now.
Damn straight. Neither can I.
Holden: Judging by the buzz, that movie's gonna make some serious bank. Jay: What buzz? Holden: The internet buzz. Jay: What the f*ck is the internet? [Holden (Ben Affleck) & Jay (Jason Mewes) in Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back]
I'm gonna be idealistic and go for the best-case scenario here, just because. -With Hogan and Undertaker retired once their careers have wound down (and their last runs with the belts have finished) HHH and Austin finally hanging up the boots due to injury, and the Rock gone Hollywood, the WWF will be ruled by four stars: Angle, Benoit, Jericho and RVD. There will be a resurgence of technical wrestling mixed with WWF style, and while the ability to cut a promo will still be vital, the in-ring ability of RVD and Benoit will prove that the crowd doesn't always need to listen to guys talk for 15 minutes to get them over. -Tajiri and Misterio will become the centerpieces of a resurgent Cruiser division, and in a move reminiscent of the successful WCW approach to cruisers, stars will be brought in from the indies (American Dragon, C.M. Punk), Japan (Marufuji, Dragon Kid) and Mexico (Shocker, Psicosis/Nicho) to bolster the division. -Brock Lesnar will be around where Kurt Angle is now; maybe he'll have a title reign, maybe not. After being initially pushed as a monster power wrestler, he'll have a feud with a master technicial (Regal? Benoit? Angle?) that will steer him to a sort of amateur-meets-powerful pro style (a'la Scott Steiner in the early '90s). -Steroids will finally become completely irrelevant. -The tag team division will gradually rebuild itself by... er... uh. They'll find someone.
"Flex Kavana was in the Power Spotlight and he seems like he will be impressive after a while." -DVDVR #5
None of the Main-Eventers have had a makeover in a while?!?!?
Austin Heel turn, Angle Face turn, Jericho Heel turn, Triple H Face turn. Of course they all flopped in their own special ways (but I did enjoy all of them except for HHH), but I think you're not really thinking this through. Oh yeah, don't forget UT heel turn, the nWo, and the Hogan face run as things that happened in the ME in the past year that were surprising
By makeover I mean more than just turning yet keeping the same personna. I mean more like what WCW did with Sting (colorful, energetic to dark, moody) and Hogan (dropped red and yellow and his whole schtick and became someone totally different). The WWF hasn't created any fresh new personnas for its main eventers since, I dunno, HBK when he started DX?
A lot of people, myself included, have given Vince McMahon much shit for bad booking, stale product, and other things that should NEVER happen with a roster as deep as the WWF's. But I must give the man props for one thing.