The only thing worse than the ratings for Welcome to the Captain was actually watching Welcome to the Captain. Actually, the ratings aren't that bad. The show, however, is.
THIS WEEK IN TV: MONDAY: ABC has the penultimate (I've been waiting for an opportunity to use that) episode of Dance War, along with new episodes of Notes From the Underbelly and October Road; CBS has new episodes of Welcome to the Captain and The New Adventures of Old Christine; The CW is itching to get through the last two new episodes of Girlfriends tonight; FOX has new episodes of Prison Break and Terminator; and NBC has new episodes of American Gladiators and Deal or No Deal.
TUESDAY: ABC has new episodes of Just For Laughs, According to Jim, Carpoolers, and Boston Legal; CBS has the premieres of Big Brother 9: Till Death Do Us Part (and if you like Big Brother, there's Big Brother After Dark at Midnight EST on Showtime 2 basically every night after this) and Jericho; The CW has a new One Tree Hill; FOX has a new 2-hour American Idol; and NBC airs a new episode of The Biggest Loser.
WEDNESDAY: ABC has new episodes of Wife Swap, Supernanny, and Cashmere Mafia; CBS has a second night of Big Brother 9; The CW has another clip show episode of American's Next Top Model, which should do just as bad as last week's episode did; FOX has a new American Idol (where we finally see the top 24) and a new The Moment of Truth (which I'm surprised people are watching); and NBC has new episodes of Deal or No Deal and Law & Order.
THURSDAY: ABC is being smart by reairing the last episode of Lost right before the next new episode airs, followed by a new Eli Stone; CBS has a new Survivor; The CW has a new Smallville; FOX has the 39th Annual NAACP Awards with special awards going to Stevie Wonder and Aretha Franklin. Will Obama be there? I'm pretty sure Oprah will; NBC has Deal or No Deal, Celebrity Apprentice, and Lipstick Jungle.
FRIDAY: ABC has a new 20/20, CBS airs Celine Dion: That's Just The Woman In Me, The CW airs Smackdown!, and NBC has 1 Vs. 100 and the two-hour season finale of Las Vegas.
SATURDAY: ABC airs Miracle (the movie about the 1980 US Olympic Hockey team), CBS has two new episodes 48 Hours: Mystery (plus another chance to see Jericho if you missed it on Tuesday), The CW may air a movie, possibly either The Faculty or Out of Time, and FOX has new episodes of Cops ("Bad Girls #11" [which I assumed was a porno] and "Chases and Takedowns") and America's Most Wanted ("Boca Raton").
SUNDAY: ABC has new episodes of America's Funniest Home Videos, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, and Brothers & Sisters (the season finale for Brothers and Sisters); CBS has new episodes of 60 Minutes and Cold Case (the season finale for Cold Case), as well as the 3rd night this week of Big Brother 9, and your first chance to see the edited-for-broadcast-TV version of Dexter (it starts with the pilot); The CW has the soon-to-be-ended CW Now; FOX has the last half-hour of the Daytona 500, as well as new episodes of all 4 cartoons (The Simpsons, King of the Hill, Family Guy, and American Dad [this is the 6th season premiere of Family Guy, by the way]); while NBC has the first-season finale (it's already been renewed) of American Gladiators and the two-hour "backdoor pilot" of the new Knight Rider. American Gladiator and Knight Rider? I'll be wearing my slap bracelet and my parachute pants.
Edit: The one time I forget to spellcheck. D'oh. I even remember thinking I better make sure I spell it correctly. And then of course I forgot.