Q'n'D -Samoa Joe d. Magnus with the Kokina Clutch to retain the Television Championship in a No Disqualification Match -ODB & Eric Young (yes, he showed up) d. Tara & Jesse after Young pins Jesse with the Savage Elbow -Rob Van Dam d. Joey Ryan with the 5-Star Frog Splash to retain the X Division Championship. Matt Morgan lays out RVD post-match. -Doc d. Joseph Park with the chokeslam -Hernandez & Chavo Guerrero d. Christopher Daniels & Kazarian with the top-rope crossbody off Hernandez's shoulders to retain the World Tag Team Championships -"Cowboy" James Storm d. Bobby Roode and AJ Styles after Storm pins Styles with the Last Call -Kurt Angle d. Devon with the anklelock/heel hook -Jeff Hardy d. Austin Aries to retain the TNA World Heavyweight Championship in a Ladder Match
We start off with TAZ inside the ring. He delivers a PSA for the victims of Hurricane Sandy. He brings out BUCKETHEAD and BULLY RAY for a round of support. Buckethead says they're looking to set a record for most people texting simultaneously during a PPV. That's a thing? Well, anything's a record nowadays. Bully Ray gets a "TNA" chant going!
Here's the opening video package, highlighting Jeff Hardy and Austin Aries!
Opening pyro! We are LIVE from the Impact Zone! Your hosts are Todd Keneley, Mike Tenay, and Taz! Interesting to see Keneley getting pushed into the first chair with Tenay taking the second chair. I'm guessing Tenay's training the new guy for the future.
MAGNUS v. "THE SAMOAN SUBMISSION MACHINE" SAMOA JOE: NO DISQUALIFICATION TELEVISION CHAMPION MATCH Joe and Magnus immediately exchange blows, with Joe better the better of that. The fight goes to the outside, where Joe gives Magnus chops and a toss into the barricade. Magnus fights back with rights and a back rake. Joe shoves Magnus into the steel steps! Tenay reads off Joe's resume, including his tenure as Ring of Honor champion (!), as Joe continues to work over Magnus. Magnus catches Joe with the clothesline to take control. Joe comes back with more strikes and a running boot to the corner! Joe tries a suicide dive, but Magnus chucks a chair at him! Magnus works over Joe with elbows. We hit the armbar! Joe's corner charge eats boot, but Magnus lands on an atomic drop. Senton misses, but Joe's able to get the powerslam for 2! Joe shifts into the STF until Magnus reaches the ropes. I still question why there's a rope break rule in place when there's no disqualifications. Joe tries for the clutch, but Magnus shifts into the armbar and turns that into a jujigatame! Joe shifts into a pin for 2 and knocks Magnus silly with an enziguiri! Joe tries for the Musclebuster, but decides on a superplex attempt. Magnus rakes the eyes and knocks Joe down with a knee. Savage Elbow hits...for 2! Magnus's clothesline is caught with a right and Joe makes the babyface comeback. Joe runs in, but is caught with a Michinoku Driver! Magnus goes up again and hits a second Savage Elbow...for 2! Dueling chants are up now! Joe misses a corner charge! Magnus's corner charge is caught with the uranage! Magnus rolls out and grabs the chair, so Joe lays out Magnus with a CORKSCREW TOPE! YIKES! Musclebuster's a mere formality...OR IS IT? IT ONLY GETS 2! Magnus defiantly calls out Joe and flips him the double bird! So Joe just murders him dead with the Kokina Clutch, clamping it on with MEGA GUSTO! Magnus is in the middle of the ring with nowhere to go and passes out at 12 minutes!
WINNER: Samoa Joe - That's a great opener! Magnus looked like a big star here!
Backstage, Jeremy Borash talks to ODB. ODB says she still hasn't found Eric Young and is still humiliated from last week. Eric Young suddenly enters the picture. He says a shark ate his phone, but says he saw what happened and apologizes to ODB. ODB and EY make out. Yup. Young says they'll show Tara and Jesse who the power couple are in TNA.
TARA & JESSE v. ODB & ERIC YOUNG: MIXED TAG TEAM MATCH ODB rolls up Jesse to start and hits him with an atomic drop, as she and Young take turns teeing off on him. Motorboat! Tag is made and the KO Champs hit a double elbow for 2! Young hits an armdrag and dropkick for 2. Double whip to the corner. Bronco Buster from ODB! Now EY wants one, but Tara hits ODB from behind! Young tags in and Tara cowers in the corner, allowing Jesse to attack from behind. Jesse works over Young with some slow, muscleheaded offense. Double Russian legsweep gets 2. We hit the chinlock! Young comes back with a Flair strut and right hand, but we get a double KO with clotheslines! ODB fuels herself up with her flask, but still doesn't get the tag. ODB gets the tag and is a house of fire until Tara attacks from behind, so ODB knocks her on her ass! The Bam hits and Tara rolls out. Jesse attacks ODB from behind. Young makes the blind tag, as ODB slams Jesse. Young hits the Savage Elbow for the pin at about 8 minutes.
WINNER: ODB & Eric Young - Silly, but ultimately harmless.
Your hosts are Todd Keneley, Mike Tenay, and Taz. They show what happened to Sting last Thursday at the hands of the Aces & Eights and a ball-PEEN hammer!
Backstage, Jeremy Borash talks to "Cowboy" James Storm. Storm vows to win tonight's match. Whoever he pins? Sorry 'bout their damn catchphrase.
We look back at what happened last Thursday with Joey Ryan, Matt Morgan, and Hulk Hogan. Ok, they don't need to show the segment IN ITS ENTIRETY! Come on now!
JOEY RYAN v. ROB VAN DAM: X DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Ryan grabs the mic and says that banning Matt Morgan from ringside will not set the odds against him. Ryan says Morgan is staying in the back, because he asked him to. Ryan says he's ready to make the X Division X-rated.
Van Dam takes it to Ryan to start, hitting him with shoulder thrusts and a springboard legdrop. Ryan gets hung in the Tree of Woe and eats a basement dropkick. Somersault monkey flip hits! Ryan rolls out to avoid Rolling Thunder. Van Dam rolls Ryan back in and kicks him in the head. ROB! VAN! DAM! Ryan shoves Van Dam out on a 5-Star Frog Splash attempt. Ryan follows with the suicide dive! Ryan tries to work over Van Dam with rights. He catches him coming in on a corner charge and hits the spike DDT for 2! Van Dam's second monkey flip attempt is caught. Second-rope swinging neckbreaker (called the Mustache Ride) gets 2! We hit the chinlock! Van Dam comes back with a big kick and makes the babyface comeback. Rolling Thunder hits! ROB! VAN! DAM! Standing moonsault gets 2! Ryan comes back with a jawbreaker and the Flair pin gets 2! Van Dam hits the spinning heel kick! 5-Star Frog Splash finishes at about 8 minutes shown!
WINNER: Rob Van Dam - Ryan hung in, even though this match had some rough spots. Pretty decent.
Post-match, Van Dam celebrates at the top of the ramp. And MATT MORGAN swoops in and kills him dead with the Carbon Footprint! Woo! Called that one!
Backstage, Jeremy Borash talks to Joseph Park. Park wishes Sting well and says his attack was egregious and unnecessary! Park says he's petrified, but this started because the Aces deprived him of his basic rights. Tonight, it's not about being an attorney, but it's about being a man. He'll go in as a man and come out one, too.
Here's a video package on the Aces & Eights.
DOC v. JOSEPH PARK I'm expecting this one to be a whole lot of angle and not much else. Let's do it!
Crowd gets a "You can do it!" chant going to try to rally Park. Park tries for a double-leg takedown and Doc laughs it off. Taz notes that trying to wrestle may not be the wisest move, as Doc chucks him around. Park swings wildly and misses, as Doc continues laughing at him. Park BITCHSLAPS him in the corner...and looks scared shitless afterwords. Park desperately tries to dodge Doc, but finds himself cornered on the outside! Keneley notes that Hulk Hogan isn't here tonight. Doc grabs a chair, but misses a swing! Doc's right hand hits the steel post! So Park slams the left hand on the steel steps! Doc dives at Park and lands on the guardrail! Park rolls him back in, but Doc hits a right and wraps the belt around his fist. The ref takes the belt, so Doc goes searching for PLUNDAH! He's got the ball-PEEN hammer! Park takes Doc down and swings wildly at him! Park grabs the hammer, but Doc takes him down from behind! Now we've turned into a standard match, as Doc works over Park. Doc hits his dizzying array of punches and stomps. Gorilla press gets 2. More kicking and punching. Park gets to his feet and wants more. Doc misses a right and Park makes the babyface comeback. Corner charge eats elbow and Doc hits Park with the studded belt! Park's busted open, but you know what happens when Joseph Park bleeds his own blood! And sure enough, Park ABYSSES OUT!!! And Park destroys Doc with the Black Hole Slam! Park comes to and doesn't realize what happened, but he quickly jumps on Doc...for 2! Doc knocks Park to the outside and nails him with a right. As Doc shoves the ref aside, Park is able to grab a chair and bop Doc over the head...for 2! Doc has finally had enough of these shenanigans and finishes Park with the chokeslam at about 11 minutes.
WINNER: Doc - This is why the Luke Gallows signing wasn't setting the world on fire. This was not a good match.
Post-match, Doc beats Park down some more. Doc grabs the hammer, but BULLY RAY makes the save. Ray helps Park up and raises his hand.
Backstage, Jeremy Borash talks to Bobby Roode. Roode says he gets back in the playing field tonight. Roode says the mind games have already started, having beaten Styles already and with Storm knowing that Roode can knock him out of the title chase. Tonight, he proves why he's the It Factor of professional wrestling!
Here's a video package on the tag team title feud.
KAZARIAN & CHRISTOPHER DANIELS v. HERNANDEZ & CHAVO GUERRERO: WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Chavo and Daniels start off with a wrestling sequence. Daniels catches Chavo coming in with an elbow, Chavo goes nuts with armdrags on both men. Daniels gets a cheap shot and hammers away in the corner. Chavo gets a Thesz Press! The corner punches get no crowd reaction! Yeesh! Kaz gets a cheap shot and he and Daniels work over Chavo. Kaz hits a springboard legdrop for 2. Hernandez takes the heels down with a double clothesline. Big backdrop on Daniels, as Chavo works over Kaz. Hernandez tags in and the champs hit their bodyslam double-team for 2. Double corner charges hit. Hernandez hits the Davey Boy suplex and Chavo hits the slingshot senton. Basement dropkick and Hernandez splash gets 2. Backbreaker drop gets 2! Chavo's Frog Splash misses and Kaz hammers on him in the heel corner. The heels trade blows on Chavo. Hernandez tries to rally the crowd, but they are not having it. Daniels hangs Chavo on the ropes and holds him for a charging Kaz dropkick! DOUBLE GANGNAM STYLE! Pssh, that move was SO last week! I hear it's all about the Sloppy Swish now! Chavo tries for a sunset flip, but Daniels makes the blind tag and stomps away. Kaz hits the waistlock. He drives Chavo into the corner, but Chavo hits a Tornado DDT! Tags are made on both sides and Hernandez destroys Daniels! Bear hug suplex hits! Corner splash gets 2! Border Toss attempt is stopped by Kaz, who takes Hernandez down with the missile dropkick! The heels double-team Hernandez in the corner, but he shoves them both off! Double slingshot clothesline hits! Daniels eats a backbreaker and Kaz eats the NFL tackle! Hernandez goes for the no-hands tope, but Daniels catches him with a kick! Total Elimination variant gets 2! Hernandez suplexes both men! Chavo tags in and hits a double seated dropkick! Headscissors for Daniels and Three Amigos for Kaz and then Daniels! Chavo wants the Frog Splash, but Kaz catches him with the enziguiri! Hernandez dumps Kaz out with the military press and Kaz BOUNCES off the floor! OUCH! Daniels takes Hernandez down with the STO, but the superplex on Chavo is blocked! Hernandez grabs Daniels and Chavo hits the top-rope crossbody to retain the titles at about 13 minutes!
WINNERS: Hernandez & Chavo Guerrero - Good match! Wrong team definitely went over here.
Backstage, Jeremy Borash talks to AJ Styles. Styles points out that it's been three years since his last world title reign and says he'll put all the distractions behind him tonight.
"THE IT FACTOR OF PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING" BOBBY ROODE v. "THE COWBOY" JAMES STORM v. "THE PHENOMENAL" AJ STYLES: #1 CONTENDER'S TRIPLE THREAT MATCH Styles quickly disposes of Roode with the enziguiri, so that he can get Storm one-on-one. They shift into a wrestling sequence. Styles misses a dropkick and Roode pulls Storm out. They trade blows, so Styles wipes them both out with a tope con hilo! Styles throws Roode back in and takes to him with clotheslines and a backbreaker. Split-legged kneedrop gets 2. Storm comes back in hits Styles with rights and stomps in the corner. Styles reverses a whip and chops away. Corner charge on Roode misses and Roode knocks him to the outside, while Storm wipes out Roode with a clothesline. Styles hangs Storm on the top rope and comes back in to hit Roode with a corner splash. Backdrop on Roode hits, but the corner splash on Storm misses. Now the former Beer Money trade chops in the corner. Storm hits the running neckbreaker for 2. Storm comes off the ropes, but runs into a Styles dropkick! Styles tosses Roode and focuses on Storm. Styles works over the leg, while keeping Roode on the outside. Styles hits the bridged Indian deathlock! Styles tries for a Figure-4, but Storm shoves him off...right into Roode! Styles tries for the Styles Clash, but it's countered with the Alabama Slam for 2! Eye of the Storm is interrupted by Roode, who swoops in with a DDT for 2! Roode tosses Styles and hits Storm with the Perfect snapmare for 2. He then heads to the outside to chuck Styles into the steel steps. Roode's spear misses and Storm hits the Codebreaker! Storm wants the Last Call, but Styles swoops in with the springboard forearm for 2! Roode gets the thumb to the eye to take out Styles and chokes away on Storm. Roode's corner charge on Styles eats boot, but Roode shoves off the Tornado DDT attempt. Roode wants the Payoff, but Storm comes in...to join him. Double suplex hits! Storm calls out to the fans for an old-school throwback taunt! Roode looks like he's about to oblige. BEE...SUCKER PUNCH! No, Storm sees it coming and takes down Roode! Styles nails Roode with the top-rope 'rana and hits Storm with the backflip DDT for 2! Styles charges in and eats elbow and Roode hits Storm with the Buff Blockbuster for 2! Styles nails Roode with the Pele Kick! Clothesline on Storm sends both men out! Styles' springboard 450 misses and Roode's spear hits...for 2! Roode grabs the crossface! Styles rolls him up to counter for 2! Roode hits the uranage for 2! Double A Spinebuster hits! Roode's Payoff is interrupted when Storm nails him with the backcracker! As Roode falls, Storm nails Styles with the Last Call and Storm covers Styles for the pin at about 15 minutes!
WINNER: James Storm - Great three-way! Loved this one!
Post-match, Storm mocks Roode and celebrates on the outside.
Backstage, Devon cuts a promo from the Aces & Eights Merry Clubhouse of Fun. Devon says Kurt was a random act of violence and says this is nothing personal.
Here's another Aces & Eights video package.
DEVON v. "THE OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALIST" KURT ANGLE Let's hope this one stays short. Kurt rushes the ring and chases off Devon.
Devon comes in and both men exchange blows, with Kurt winning that battle. Devon comes back with elbows and rights and hammers away in the corner. Leaping shoulderblock hits. Devon works over Kurt on the outside. BORRRRRRRRING! Let's pick up the pace with a CHINLOCK! Even though it's been less than five minutes! Goddammit, Devon! It's KURT ANGLE! Let HIM do the heavy lifting! But alas, it's more Devon offense. His corner charge eats elbow and Kurt hits a second-rope dropkick. Here's a CROTCH SHOT! And an ASS SHOT! Ok, what's up with that cameraman? Kurt makes the babyface comeback. Devon cuts it off, though, because this match isn't boring enough yet. Devon goes up, something the announcers note he never does, because it's an obvious setup for the pop-up superplex. Anklelock! Devon escapes it and hits a neckbreaker for 2. Powerbomb is botched, so Kurt has to run over and set up the Rolling Germans for 2. Kurt tries to set up the Anglesault, but Devon hits him with the powerbomb out of the corner for 2. Spinebuster gets 2. Diving headbutt misses and Kurt hits the Angle Slam...for 2! SERIOUSLY??? FOR FUCKING DEVON??? The Aces all surround ringside and Devon hits the spear for 2! Kurt grabs the anklelock and grabs the unbreakable heel hook for the quick tap-out at 12 brutally long minutes!
WINNER: Kurt Angle - Good lord, that match sucked! Devon's a total waste.
Post-match, the Aces storm the ring and Kurt escapes! Doc says Kurt's a dead man! Oh God, he's next, isn't he? I'm looking forward to THAT match.
Annoying Backstage Guy catches up to AJ Styles. He asks Styles what he's going to do now that he can't get a title shot for a year. What a stupid question! AJ thinks so, too, so AJ stares him down and walks away.
Backstage, Jeremy Borash talks to Austin Aries. Aries says they're about to write the final chapter in the Jeff Hardy saga. Aries says the story ends in tragedy tonight. Tonight, Aries shoves the deck down everyone's throat. Aries says Jeff will need everyone's support, but tonight Aries regains the TNA World Heavyweight Championship.
Here's a video package on Aries/Hardy, starting with Destination X, where Aries beat Bobby Roode and SHOULD HAVE become the next big star before this company decided to back Jeff Hardy for reasons known only to them.
AUSTIN ARIES v. "THE CHARISMATIC ENIGMA" JEFF HARDY: TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP LADDER MATCH Jeremy Borash gives us the championship intros. Aries spits on a Jeff Hardy towel for fun.
Big "Hardy" chant from the Impact Zone mutants! Aries stalls to start. He comes in and quickly tosses Jeff out, going out and grabbing a ladder. Jeff puts a stop to that, so Aries stomps away on him and tosses him into the steel post. Aries hits...something. Then he tosses Jeff into the steel steps. Now Aries wants the ladder. He places it in the ring, but gets tagged by Jeff, who takes the ladder back out. Jeff hammers on Aries in the corner, so Aries rakes his face on the ropes and hits an elbow. Jeff comes back with a headscissors and Jeff hits the slingshot kick and pescado. Now both men fight for the ladder, so Jeff shoves the ladder to send Aries into the steel steps! Poetry In Motion hits! Jeff sets the ladder up inside the ring, but Aries cuts him off. Aries claws over Jeff and drops him with a Russian legsweep off the ladder! The ladder gets set up between the apron and the barricade, as Aries drops Jeff on the ladder. Aries hits a slingshot forearm over the ladder and drops a knee on Jeff before dropping him onto the steel steps. Now Aries sets the ladder up and climbs, but gets pulled off. Jeff gets the mule kick to send Aries out. Jeff hangs the ladder upside-down and tries to place Aries on top, but Aries wants a suplex! The exchange ends in a stalemate, so Jeff tries to dive off, so Aries tosses him into the upside-down ladder! Jeff's sandwiched in the ladder and Aries slingshots himself onto it! The ladder's busted, so Aries tosses it out. Now Aries searches for PLUNDAH and pulls out another ladder. He brings it in before putting Jeff down with the suicide dive! Aries grabs the steel steps and tries to sandwich Jeff between the ladder and the steps! With Jeff stuck, Aries sets up the ladder. Aries climbs up...but stops. Wha? Oh, it's because Jeff escaped! And when Aries goes to search for him, Jeff comes out the other side and nearly steals the belt! Aries quickly knocks the ladder over! Ok, that was a REALLY cool spot! Now both men fight it out on the ladder. Aries wins that exchange, sending Jeff crashing down. But the ladder's wobbly, so Aries thinks better of it and sets it up in the corner. Jeff gets sent into the ladder, where Aries works him over. Running corner dropkick on the ladder! Brainbuster...is botched. Aries charges in and gets armdragged onto the ladder! Jeff climbs the bad ladder...and rides it down for a splash on top of Aries! Jeff grabs Ladder #3 and sets it up, as Aries recovers on the outside. Jeff pogo sticks the ladder towards the belts, but here comes Aries with a missile dropkick to knock the ladder over! Aries sandwiches Jeff between the ladder and the corner, then he comes over and hits a running dropkick on the ladder! Brainbuster hits and Aries rolls Jeff's corpse out of the ring. Aries sets up the ladder and starts the slow climb, but this ladder isn't stable, either! Jeff catches up and both men exchange blows on top of the ladder! TWIST OF FATE OFF THE LADDER!!! Swanton Bomb hits! Jeff sets up the ladder and starts the slow climb. But the belts get pulled up! OH MY GOD, IT'S THE GHOST OF THE BIG BOSSMAN! No, it's actually Austin Aries, who's monkeying with the controls! Aries tries to catch Jeff coming in, but Jeff nails him! Now Jeff pulls out an industrial-strength ladder from under the ring, since he now needs the extra height! Both men climb the ladder and hammer away at each other, but it tumbles over and they both crash onto the ladder placed flat in the corner! Now they're both on top of the corner ladder and Jeff hits the Twist of Fate! Aries is dead outside the ring, as Jeff sets up the giant ladder! Jeff climbs the ladder and grabs the vanity title to retain at 20 minutes!
WINNER: Jeff Hardy - Very good stuff. I can't help but feel like I've seen better ladder matches, but this was certainly very good and clear Match of the Night. Aries using the old Bossman spot was very clever, though.
Post-match, Jeff Hardy stands triumphant in the center of the ring with both titles. Closing credits are up and we're out!
Pretty decent PPV, with a very good ladder match, a hot opener, and an awesome three-way. The rest of the card ranged from ok (RVD/Ryan) to terrible (Angle/Devon).
Not sure what happens to Aries from here or where they go from here. I'm pretty sure the Hardy/Aries feud has proven that this company doesn't want to do face/face matches, so what do they do with James Storm?
Well, we'd better tune into Impact to find out all the answers and more. Because why answer burning questions like "Is Wes Brisco one of the Aces?" and "Will AJ Styles turn heel?" on a show that people are paying money for? That's just silly.
So, a PPV where nothing happen other than the slow burn of AJ being a heel. Aces and Eights needs to go somewhere fast. The rumor of this going to Lockdown needs to be false. They have sucked the life out of this thing. The big reveal needs to happen Thursday and if its good enough maybe end it in January if not then it needs to end before the end of the year.
I like none of the decisions involving the belts. The people winning have no one to feud with. It makes no sense. TNA up until BFG has done a great job with their product, but they are trending back to bad habits. Letting the wrong people go over, storylines dragging out and having no idea where to go after a feud ends. Just bad decision making of late.
The Wee Baby Sheamus.Twitter: @realjoecarfley its a bit more toned down there. A bit.
When We Were Marks Montreal Hits and Myths I never understood why WWE worked so hard to not hire wrestling announcers and now I do. WWE announcers are storytellers and professional announcers need to be taught storytelling.