Originally posted by rikidozani'd try it, but it needs some chilli sause and chutney
Seriously. Lister had some crazy-ass food concepts. Don't make me look up the recipe for those sausages from "Polymorph."
LISTER: Do you know what I fancy right now? RIMMER: A big, fat woman with thighs the size of a hippo's. LISTER: No, I want a triple fried egg butty with chili sauce and chutney. ------------- LISTER: You are five minutes away from the greatest meal of your life, man, so set your tastebuds on Defcom 3!
CAT now stands behind the table, which has candles on it, as well as various medical supplies.
CAT: Hey, you've really made an effort here! Where'd you get all this stuff? LISTER: I just got sick and tired of using plastic knives and forks, man, so I went to the medical unit and nicked some gear. CAT: (Picking a scalpel off the table, disgustedly) This is a scalpel! I'm supposed to cut _my_ food with a scalpel? Something that has been inside someone's guts? LISTER: It's all been cleaned; it's all been washed; it's clean. CAT: (As he approaches LISTER) ...something that, long ago in history, may well have performed a certain popular Jewish operation? _I'm_ supposed to eat with _this_? LISTER: (Taps CAT's cheek with the back of his hand with each beat.) Get the onion salads out of the fridge! CAT: (Stops as he sees the sign on the refrigerator.) "Embryo Refrigeration Unit?!" LISTER: How many times...? It's clean! It's been cleaned!
CAT opens the refrigerator door, muttering "onion salad" as he scans the contents of the refrigerator.
LISTER: They're in the kidney bowls, next to the {cholostomy} bag with the chilli sauce in it.
CAT removes the two kidney bowls, rather disgustedly. LISTER has finished his mixing.
LISTER: Here we go, here we go!
LISTER opens a microwave oven, then uses his hands to throw the contents of his bowl into it. He then tosses in a roll, and squirts a tube of catsup-like substance (can anyone read the label, or otherwise have an idea what this stuff could be?). He closes the microwave oven door, and, after a buzz, opens it, removing two plates with the properly prepared meals on them. He goes to the table.
LISTER: Yahoo! Come on, man, come on! It's ready! Sit down, sit down! (Putting a plate down at his seat) One kebab for you ... (putting the other plate at CAT's seat) ... and one kebab for me.
They sit down. CAT folds a serviette into his collar. LISTER holds up an enormous metal cylindrical object.
LISTER: (Offering) Lemon juice? CAT: (Pointing at the object) What the hell is that? LISTER: It's a syringe. CAT: What kind of syringe? LISTER: It's for cows -- artificial insemination. It's been washed; it's clean; it's all been sterilised. Do you want lemon juice or what? CAT: (Removes the serviette.) Ahem. Excuse me. (Stands.) LISTER: (Baffled) What? What about the meal? CAT: This isn't a meal -- this is an autopsy! LISTER: It's only the starter, man! What about the main course? CAT: Hey, you think I got nothing better to do than hang around watching you serve chicken {chaucer} in a stool bucket? (Leaves.) LISTER: Oh, charming. (Picks up a urine-sample bottle of wine and begins to pour it into a beaker.) I dunno. You pull out all the stops ... you make an effort ... try and do something with a little bit of _extra_ class, and where does it get you? (Drinks the wine.) Mmm, very cheeky! ------
That's my boy
That's just my 2.3764 Yen "Smeg off, Hot Lesbian Action." Dave Lister from Red Dwarf "The Nazis had pieces of hot lesbian action that they made the Jews wear." Peter Gibbons from Office Space "What's the name of the cat?" "Annoying Hot Lesbian Action." Randel Graves from Clerks showing off his people skills
(They closed down the next year, presumably because of the owner's (alleged) extracurricular activities.)
THAT'S how good this thread is. The "How ballsy and uncaring about your health are YOU?" topic merges seemlessly into scandal and secrets. (Please tell!)
There are rough spots around here, but sometimes, it's MAGIC.
To semi-contribute, while I don't have any cool sandwich recipes to share (unless a BLT with taco sauce counts), I will say that I spent a good few months marveling at how good I thought combining a Quarter Pounder and McChicken sandwich into one cohesive beautiful creation was. Thems were good times.
I've since become a flame broiled fellow, so you can imagine my outrage when I took the introduction of the "Chicken Whopper" the wrong way. That's not a Chicken Whopper, IT'S A CHICKEN SANDWICH!
take 3-4 slices of baloney, fry them on the stove with just a little olive oil on a med-hi heat.
i like my a little crispy
i use potato bread. for toppings, i would use grated cheese, usually a handful out of one of them sargento bag's o cheese, usually their TACO blend
a slice of munster a slice of provolone
some black olives, sliced back when they made it, the taco bell flavored Doritos, some crushed up, some left whole. some A1 for topping, or bbq sauce, if you don't want something too acidic Bread and Butter sandwich stacker pickle
back when i worked in my local UPS sorting plant and burned 3-4000 calories a day, i'd have 2 of these before work...
That's just my 2.3764 Yen "Smeg off, Hot Lesbian Action." Dave Lister from Red Dwarf "The Nazis had pieces of hot lesbian action that they made the Jews wear." Peter Gibbons from Office Space "What's the name of the cat?" "Annoying Hot Lesbian Action." Randel Graves from Clerks showing off his people skills
SOK (hailing from Calgary, AB), quietly says:In my younger years, I loved my PB sadwiches. Mind you, I never did like my PB alone. It had to have something sweet.
One day, I found out that I didn't have any jam, so I did a little substitution: sweet pickle relish. It was really, really good.
Now, it may sound really raunchy, but I like it. I combine it with a slice of process cheddar cheeze, and voila! Dinner is served.
I also like process cheez spread and PB...
Anyhow, I return you to your culinary conversation. Bon apetit!
I just tried the PBJ&Egg sammich, though I never really scrambled my eggs, just did 'em omlette style (with nothin' in 'em, of course). It was alright. I think I needed more jelly on it though.
And, another fried balogna sammich: 1 slice o' balogna (buy a big thing, unsliced and slice it yerself), fried like a sumbitch, 2 fried eggs, on bread with ketchup or miracle whip, and cheddar cheese (prefereablly old). That's nice and tasty, also adding any other meats you got lying around and can fry, is a good idea.
But, nothin' beats the days when I was jus' knee high, and me an' my brother an' sister would sit around with a the peanut butter, miracle whip, various jams, and cheeze whiz, and put them together in various combination on Purity cream crackers.
Originally posted by Fuzzy LogicBut, nothin' beats the days when I was jus' knee high, and me an' my brother an' sister would sit around with a the peanut butter, miracle whip, various jams, and cheeze whiz, and put them together in various combination on Purity cream crackers.
My best memories of youth was coming up with sammiches that my parents would hate...
My best creation: PB, chocolate, Rosehip jam, sweet sugar beet syrup (a german thing) and honey...with Honey mustard on the top.
That certainly got a reaction from my mom. Shefreaked when she saw the mess on the counter. LOLOLOL
This is no sandwich but it's something me and a friend created.
What you do is you make your favorite homemade pizza, whether it be frozen pizza or actually made from scratch is your choice, as well as what kind of frozen pizza (i personally don't like the Tombstone or Digornos and prefer the unknown kinds).
While it is cooking you make yourself a box of Velveeta macaroni and cheese.
Then when you're done there's only one thing to do, put the macaroni and cheese on the pizza...mmmmmmmmm...
I just tried the PBJ&Egg sammich, though I never really scrambled my eggs, just did 'em omlette style (with nothin' in 'em, of course). It was alright. I think I needed more jelly on it though.
And, another fried balogna sammich: 1 slice o' balogna (buy a big thing, unsliced and slice it yerself), fried like a sumbitch, 2 fried eggs, on bread with ketchup or miracle whip, and cheddar cheese (prefereablly old). That's nice and tasty, also adding any other meats you got lying around and can fry, is a good idea.
But, nothin' beats the days when I was jus' knee high, and me an' my brother an' sister would sit around with a the peanut butter, miracle whip, various jams, and cheeze whiz, and put them together in various combination on Purity cream crackers.
Wouldja look at that -- a Newfoundlander talking about squashberry jam, fried bologna sandwiches, and PURITY~! cream crackers I can't do the fried baloney anymore, but I'd surely kill for some bakeapple jam...
The sickest ``sandwich'' I've ever seen was at a sub joint in Brantford, Ontario called Admiral Sub. It was called ``The Junkpile,'' and there are apparently those who can both order it and finish it. It went something like this: 2 (possibly three) burger patties, 3 chicken fingers, 3 strips of bacon, 2 slices of ham, 2 slices of turkey, 2 slices of salami, 2 slices of pepperoni, 2 eggs, lettuce, tomato, pickle, onion, swiss cheese, cheddar cheese, and mozzerella. It came on a bun, and with fries, all for only CAN$13.95...
I won't pretend I didn't consider it, but I'm glad I didn't try to go there.
/tarnish...
how come you're so afraid of things that dont make any sense to you? do you water your raisins daily? do you have any raisins? is there anything that does make sense to you? are you afraid of twelve button suits? how come you're so afraid to stop talking?
LISTER is sitting back at the table as KRYTEN enters, with the vacuum cleaner tube attached.
KRYTEN: Enjoying your meal, sir? LISTER: It's delicious, Kryten -- de-smegging-licious. It's my own recipe, you know: Shami Kebab Diablo! It's beautiful, man. It's like eating molten lava. I cooked up one for Petersen once, you know ... he was in sickbay for a week -- for a week!
LISTER shakes some pepper on the remaining kebab as he watches KRYTEN clean. The kebab wriggles and sneezes.
LISTER: What'd you say? KRYTEN: I didn't say anything, sir.
LISTER picks up a scalpel and sets to cut the kebab, but he notices it wriggling. It notices him trying to cut it, and leaps around his neck. LISTER falls to the floor, trying to pry off the kebab.
KRYTEN: Do you seriously like them that hot, sir? LISTER: (Pointing at the kebab) It's trying to kill me! KRYTEN: Oh, it's a good one, huh?
LISTER manages finally to pry it off, and the kebab runs behind some cases.
Polymorphs aside, that's a hell of a potent recipe. *laugh*
Originally posted by tarnish Wouldja look at that -- a Newfoundlander talking about squashberry jam, fried bologna sandwiches, and PURITY~! cream crackers I can't do the fried baloney anymore, but I'd surely kill for some bakeapple jam...
1) I'm a Labradorian, not a Newfoundlander. 2) bakeapple jam sucks, especially when there are other, more tasty jams, like red berry jam, around. I've never been a big fan of bakeapples. I think purity does bakeapple jam now too (I know they do red berry).
Hey tarnish - can you go to Admiral sub and FedEx me one of those? Man, I would eat pretty for a week. $13.95, a bargain! I would pay at least $15.25 for that!
"You know Monsoon, I am impressed, and I don't impress easy" -Jesse "The Body" Ventura
That's just my 2.403 Yen "Smeg off, Hot Lesbian Action." Dave Lister from Red Dwarf "The Nazis had pieces of hot lesbian action that they made the Jews wear." Peter Gibbons from Office Space "What's the name of the cat?" "Annoying Hot Lesbian Action." Randel Graves from Clerks showing off his people skills
Originally posted by Ubermonkeys(They closed down the next year, presumably because of the owner's (alleged) extracurricular activities.)
THAT'S how good this thread is. The "How ballsy and uncaring about your health are YOU?" topic merges seemlessly into scandal and secrets. (Please tell!)
Well, he certainly knew his target audience. Who else would order a sandwich like that at 4 AM?
I mean, it seems like he'd want to stay open for another half hour or so, unless I've got the whole "Smoke pot --> get munchies" system backwards.
Or is there just a general "middle of the night = high times" thing going down, where 4:20 doesn't mean anything anymore? Wouldn't there be more sense in a 1-sell 2-feed system?
I'm pretty clueless about this stuff. The extent of my knowledge is contemplating the physics on making a bong out of an ant farm.
I am both amazed and appalled by some of the "culinary creations" that have appeared in this thread but then I love to make big pots of Alligator Stew in the Fall and Winter months so who am I to talk.
1) I'm a Labradorian, not a Newfoundlander. 2) bakeapple jam sucks, especially when there are other, more tasty jams, like red berry jam, around. I've never been a big fan of bakeapples. I think purity does bakeapple jam now too (I know they do red berry).
re: 1) Somehow I knew that was going to happen...a Cape Bretoner is also a Nova Scotian, just don't call him that to his face
re: 2) Bakeapples and partridgeberries are my absolute favorite. Mind you, I can't get them here (except a teensy little jar o' jam for like $15 at the Newfoundland store). You, who have lived in the heart of bakeapple/partridgeberry country are spoiled, my friend
jfkfc said:
Hey tarnish - can you go to Admiral sub and FedEx me one of those? Man, I would eat pretty for a week. $13.95, a bargain! I would pay at least $15.25 for that!
Geography note:
Brantford, ON <----------------------> Halifax, NS . . . . . . . . . 1000 miles or so
Next time I find myself in Brantford, though, I'll keep you in mind...
(edited by tarnish on 12.9.02 1509) /tarnish...
how come you're so afraid of things that dont make any sense to you? do you water your raisins daily? do you have any raisins? is there anything that does make sense to you? are you afraid of twelve button suits? how come you're so afraid to stop talking?
Originally posted by UbermonkeysThat's the part I couldn't figure out.
I mean, it seems like he'd want to stay open for another half hour or so, unless I've got the whole "Smoke pot --> get munchies" system backwards.
Or is there just a general "middle of the night = high times" thing going down, where 4:20 doesn't mean anything anymore? Wouldn't there be more sense in a 1-sell 2-feed system?
I'm pretty clueless about this stuff. The extent of my knowledge is contemplating the physics on making a bong out of an ant farm.
(edited by Ubermonkeys on 12.9.02 0410)
Heh. Nobody there bothered to stay up until 4:20... they'd just blaze whenever possible. I don't know if he delivered food and weed at the same time, though.
An ant farm? The extent of the ingenuity I saw there was someone making a hookah out of one of those three and a half foot tall bottles filled with popcorn. Now that I think about it, it makes me wonder about MacGyver.
From peanut butter based sandwiches to the fine art of bong-making, now that is a great thread. On that note, one of the old glass gallon mini-barrels of Jack Daniels with the appropriate fittings can make most of the sandwiches mentioned above sound really, really tasty.
Tim
"Verhoeven's _Starship Troopers_: Based on the back cover of the book by Robert Heinlein."
Did anyone catch the gameshow bloopers special one of the networks aired a few days ago? It was hosted by the guy who played Al on "Home Improvement". There were some really hilarious ones.