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The W - Movies & TV - Transformers: Dark Of The Moon
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DirtyMikeSeaver
Boudin rouge








Since: 19.5.02
From: Toronto

Since last post: 30 days
Last activity: 3 days
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.40
I have to give Michael Bay credit: They found an actress worse than Megan Fox. You know you're watching a bad movie when you have giant robots battling each other in Chicago and the most far-fetched thing is the relationship between her and Sam.

Thoughts?



Kevin Kelly: "Mr. Austin, would you like to comment on Wade Keller's Take that endorsing the XFL hurts your anti-authority character?"

Steve Austin: "Oh shit, he actually said that? I thought the boys in the back were ribbing me!"

Kelly: "No, he really said that. Did they tell you the part about you sitting in the stands, looking all skeptical?"

Austin: "AHAHAHAHAHAHA. Yeah... oh man that was too much."
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John Orquiola
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Since: 28.2.02
From: Boston

Since last post: 53 days
Last activity: 53 days
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.46
I have way more thoughts than that.

Transformers Dark of the Moon 3D Review with SPOILERS (backofthehead.com)

By the way, I'm not a big 3D booster but I totally recommend seeing Transformers in 3D. I thought the 3D was sensational. The best live action 3D I've ever seen. This time, 3D really delivers.

(edited by John Orquiola on 30.6.11 1958)


@BackoftheHead






www.backofthehead.com
Cerebus
Knackwurst








Since: 17.11.02

Since last post: 22 days
Last activity: 12 hours
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.64
John, I'm positive I've seen Optimus Prime and Ultra Magnus fighting Galvatron. I just can't remember what series it was.

Leonard Nimoy did not do the voice, however. It was in Japanese. ...yes, I'm a geek.



Forget it Josh... it's Cerebustown.
Kevintripod
Andouille








Since: 11.5.03
From: Mount Pleasant, Pa.

Since last post: 3 days
Last activity: 20 min.
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#4 Posted on
    Originally posted by DirtyMikeSeaver
    I have to give Michael Bay credit: They found an actress worse than Megan Fox.



My daughter came home from seeing the movie and that was basically the first thing that came out of her mouth as she walked through the door.

She despises Megan Fox as an actress and said she thought she would never see the day that she actually wished Megan Fox was in the movie she was watching.







"You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life." - Winston Churchill
Torchslasher
Knackwurst








Since: 17.1.02
From: New F'n Jersey

Since last post: 316 days
Last activity: 283 days
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.73
I gotta agree as well. That actress was terrible. That one long shot where she had to have been told to just stare blankly into the camera worked though. She nailed that scene. And to think that she was able to manipulate a certain Decepticon into acting a certain way was amazing writing.

That being said, I thought the movie was pretty good. It was certainly better than the second movie, and I agree with John O. on their use of 3D. It was awesome, especially as we are following the dudes with those "gliders" if you will.



"Put on your helmets, we'll be reaching speeds of 3!"
"It was nice of you to give that dead woman another chance."
"All right, look alive everybody...oh sorry Susan."- MST3K: Space Mutiny
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dMp
Banger








Since: 4.1.02
From: The Hague, Netherlands (Europe)

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 5 hours
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.82
3D was amazing.

After all the stories, I thought the girl wasn't as bad as I had feared. And shockingly, her reason for being there made more sense than Megan Fox' character in the first two.
Could it have done without her? Yes.

The first part of the movie gets all the comedy (intentional or not) out of the way.
Like, I'm not sure if John Malkovich is supposed to be an asshole creep, or another comedy part.

Once the movie shifts into gear, it was pretty interesting.
Lots of good robot on robot violence.
Interesting that almost all Decepticons were now grey/boring/henchmen, just so we could tell which Autobot they were fighting.
No 'Cons other than Starscream, Megatron and the two -Waves had any significant lines or scenes.

Obviously there were plotholes the size of Texas.
Where did all those Decepticons come from that came through that portal, why did they all plan to meet up on the Earth while it was obvious in the first one that they accidentally crashed here, Why use puny humans as slaves when you could retrieve the cube and turn our blenders into cheap slaves? Etc etc

Oh. Little geek moment: The spaceship on the moon was the Ark. The Autobot vessel from the original series.
When it left Cybertron some of the shots reminded me of how it flew/got shot in the old series. And when the astronauts first saw it, the angle and shot was similar to the way you always saw it stick out of that volcano in the show.

The film did need more "the Touch"




Avatar Mud
It's False
Scrapple








Since: 20.6.02
From: I am the Tag Team Champions!

Since last post: 23 hours
Last activity: 1 hour
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.20
The movie suffers from the same problem that the rest of the trilogy had. I don't CARE about the human characters! I came to see GIANT F'N ROBOTS battle to the death! And while I did eventually get to see that, it doesn't erase the mind-torture I had to endure to get there.

I hate Shia LeBeouf. I really do. But he was especially terrible in this movie. His character was just a total jerk and I wondered at one point why Bumblebee didn't just step on the little creep and get him out of everyone's hair, once and for all.

I give Bay credit for knowing when to write out Skids and Mudflap, but then he has to go and add in EVERY OTHER racial caricature he can find. Take your Deep Wang and shove it!

To end this on a positive note, that final Optimus/Megatron fight was exactly what I wanted to see in a Transformers movie. Even if it is a little uncomfortable to see a childhood icon like Optimus Prime kill in cold blood like that.



JayJayDean
Scrapple








Since: 2.1.02
From: Seattle, WA

Since last post: 7 days
Last activity: 50 min.
AIM:  
Y!:
#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.97
Two observations...

1. While the Transformers were attacking that "secret nuclear base" in the beginning it occurred to me that in 2011 they could never get away with that shit without someone Tweeting or Facebooking it. Gimme a break. It wasn't even a "Men in Black"-kind of reality where they could make people forget. This was a "people use the internet to do everything except the stuff they actually use the internet for"-reality. Um, ok...

2. I am 100% convinced they wanted Christopher Walken for the Malkovich part, and when Walken was busy they hired Malkovich and told him "Act like Christpher Walken playing this guy..."



Holy fuck shit motherfucker shit. Read comics. Fuck shit shit fuck shit I sold out when I did my job. Fuck fuck fuck shit fuck. Sorry had to do it....

*snip*

Revenge of the Sith = one thumb up from me. Fuck shit. I want to tittie fuck your ass.
-- The Guinness. to Cerebus
John Orquiola
Scrapple








Since: 28.2.02
From: Boston

Since last post: 53 days
Last activity: 53 days
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.29
    Originally posted by JayJayDean
    While the Transformers were attacking that "secret nuclear base" in the beginning it occurred to me that in 2011 they could never get away with that shit without someone Tweeting or Facebooking it. Gimme a break. It wasn't even a "Men in Black"-kind of reality where they could make people forget. This was a "people use the internet to do everything except the stuff they actually use the internet for"-reality. Um, ok...


I also questioned something similar. The Autobots have been on Earth for about 5 years in movie time, but despite Optimus' voice over that "Much has changed..." the only technological advancement that had been made were Energon Detectors to spot Decepticons. Otherwise, no, nothing has changed technologically.



@BackoftheHead

www.backofthehead.com
JayJayDean
Scrapple








Since: 2.1.02
From: Seattle, WA

Since last post: 7 days
Last activity: 50 min.
AIM:  
Y!:
#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.97
    Originally posted by John Orquiola
      Originally posted by JayJayDean
      While the Transformers were attacking that "secret nuclear base" in the beginning it occurred to me that in 2011 they could never get away with that shit without someone Tweeting or Facebooking it. Gimme a break. It wasn't even a "Men in Black"-kind of reality where they could make people forget. This was a "people use the internet to do everything except the stuff they actually use the internet for"-reality. Um, ok...


    I also questioned something similar. The Autobots have been on Earth for about 5 years in movie time, but despite Optimus' voice over that "Much has changed..." the only technological advancement that had been made were Energon Detectors to spot Decepticons. Otherwise, no, nothing has changed technologically.


I read your review and you mentioned Megatron being under the Hoover Dam...wasn't the reason they built the Hoover Dam to keep Meagtron down there anyway? Because that happened in *1935* after Sam's grandfather found him, but then they went to the moon in 1969 and "discovered" the transformers? WTFever...



Holy fuck shit motherfucker shit. Read comics. Fuck shit shit fuck shit I sold out when I did my job. Fuck fuck fuck shit fuck. Sorry had to do it....

*snip*

Revenge of the Sith = one thumb up from me. Fuck shit. I want to tittie fuck your ass.
-- The Guinness. to Cerebus
John Orquiola
Scrapple








Since: 28.2.02
From: Boston

Since last post: 53 days
Last activity: 53 days
#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.29
    Originally posted by John Orquiola
      Originally posted by JayJayDean
      While the Transformers were attacking that "secret nuclear base" in the beginning it occurred to me that in 2011 they could never get away with that shit without someone Tweeting or Facebooking it. Gimme a break. It wasn't even a "Men in Black"-kind of reality where they could make people forget. This was a "people use the internet to do everything except the stuff they actually use the internet for"-reality. Um, ok...


    I also questioned something similar. The Autobots have been on Earth for about 5 years in movie time, but despite Optimus' voice over that "Much has changed..." the only technological advancement that had been made were Energon Detectors to spot Decepticons. Otherwise, no, nothing has changed technologically.


As a rebuttal to my own complaint, having rewatched Transformers 1 this weekend (Sam and Mikaela 4-EVA!), I now recall Agent Simmons explaining that because Megatron was held underneath the Hoover Dam for 70 years all modern technology we have was derived from studying him. So I suppose we already have all technology we were gonna get from Transformers - minus Energon Detectors, of course.

(edited by John Orquiola on 6.7.11 1635)


@BackoftheHead

www.backofthehead.com
SchippeWreck
Banger








Since: 26.3.03
From: Glendale, CA

Since last post: 2 days
Last activity: 1 hour
#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.84
Oh man, where do I start with this one?

I think the most surprising thing to me was, after two movies of complaining about the human characters and their moronic antics taking time away from the Transformers, I actually found myself more entertained by the human characters' moronic antics. Particularly Alan Tudyk. I think I want a spinoff movie of Simmons and Dutch, traveling the country solving mysteries. Even Sam's mom made me laugh heartily with the "sad piece of shit" line.

Does this mean Michael Bay has finally beaten my brain into submission? Probably. The more likely scenario is that the robots are thunderously dull in this movie. They're either completely devoid of character (90% of the Decepticons), or introduced and then killed so haphazardly that you don't have time to care. (R.I.P. Autobot who kinda looks like Benjamin Franklin and whose name I could barely make out. And who's supposedly WHEELJACK?! (en.wikipedia.org) WHAAAA?!)

And don't be fooled when people tell you there's a giant Transformer battle at the end. Oh no, what you really get is soldiers vs. robots in flying gunships. And a big snake chokes a building and causes exterior damage incongruent with what's happening to the characters inside said building. None of that particularly screams "Transformers."

It sounds from this thread, though, that I should have seen it in 3D. Then maybe the last hour would have been slightly more entertaining than it was.



"It's magic! We don't need to explain it!"
Leroy
Andouille








Since: 7.2.02
From: Huntington, NY

Since last post: 8 days
Last activity: 1 hour
#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.66
    Originally posted by SchippeWreck
    Does this mean Michael Bay has finally beaten my brain into submission?


Only if you don't find this really funny. Otherwise, yeah, you're in trouble.

Storyboards from Michael Bay's The Great Gatsby (cracked.com)


    It's going to be tough to get fans of the book and representatives of the Fitzgerald estate behind the idea of putting robots in this movie.

SchippeWreck
Banger








Since: 26.3.03
From: Glendale, CA

Since last post: 2 days
Last activity: 1 hour
#14 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.84
    Originally posted by Leroy
      Originally posted by SchippeWreck
      Does this mean Michael Bay has finally beaten my brain into submission?


    Only if you don't find this really funny. Otherwise, yeah, you're in trouble.

    Storyboards from Michael Bay's The Great Gatsby (cracked.com)


      It's going to be tough to get fans of the book and representatives of the Fitzgerald estate behind the idea of putting robots in this movie.



I did find it funny! Whew!

I forgot to mention my favorite part of the movie: That SeƱor Chang and half of Jeffster both work for John Malkovich's company.



"It's magic! We don't need to explain it!"
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There was so much that had me in hysterics for this episode but the thing that got me the most, for some reason is the "I thought something was A-mish" followed by the simple smack by Brian. I love their interplay.
- wannaberockstar, Family Guy 10x7: Amish Guy (2011)
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