Four last paragraphs about Jill: Dominic Seibert makes good points so I don't have to
I’m pissed off. For selfish reasons, of course. By FAR, the hottest girl on the show (and I mean SMOKING hot) ups and quits before the SECOND FREAKIN’ DAY of training. This isn’t about her being in a “boot camp,” or about having difficulty taking bumps, or suffering through the pain of pulled wisdom teeth. This is about a naïve, immature, Massachusetts girl, who can’t handle a little emotional trauma.
I know all about immature Massachusetts girls, I spent my adolescence in that state and saw tons of them growing up (or at least trying to grow up). She gets a little emotional adversity in her face and she’s all talk-to-the-hand, walk-off-in-a-huff, and I-can’t-deal-with-this-any-more. Is Jonah a scumbag? Yes. Should he be hitting on Jill when he’s got a girlfriend (twice!)? Absolutely not. Should Jill have flipped out and quit because of that? Hell, no. But that’s what she did. She was so repulsed by Jonah that she wanted to get as far away from him as she could, and the only way she felt she could do that was by leaving the show. Is her leaving Jonah’s fault? Not entirely. He exacerbated the situation to be sure, but if she can’t deal emotionally with a two-timing “player” (as the kids say), then how in the hell did she think she was going to be able to deal with having to wrestle with a broken finger? Or having to wait and wait to get a significant push, a la Chris Benoit? Or having to do an angle where SHE had to be a two-timing slut, or where SHE had to be the one who gets two-timed on?
It was easily the most pissed-off I think we’ve ever seen Big, but you can certainly understand his frustration with her quitting, especially after he told them a couple weeks before, “If you ever think of quitting, think of them first,” as he pointed to the semifinalists who didn’t make the cut, AND after just a few nights earlier he asked, “So who’s going to be the first to quit?” and everyone replied, “Not me.” His job is to put together the best competition which will lead to the best show possible, and when someone jumps ship so quickly (and I think Al knew why the way he was looking at Jonah) it makes his judgment look bad and undermines his credibility in the eyes of Vince McMahon.
Big and the rest of the casting crew shouldn’t feel badly about being “duped” or “conned” by her, though. She’s a typical Massachusetts girl (emphasis on GIRL) who just happened to have a hot body, a pretty face, and a sweet smile. That’s suckered in more than a few people in the history of mankind, especially since these guys were looking for a new WWE Diva, a position where 90% of getting over is based strictly on sex appeal. I know she certainly appealed to me, and it’ll be a bummer watching the show without her, but on the flip side this looks like it may be the most even men’s competition in the 3 years... with the exception of the Asian Red Rooster, Scott. I guess that also means we know there’ll be 3 girls left in short order, since Lisa’s gotta have her meltdown pretty soon here, possibly next week, based on the trailers for the show.
Not that I'm judging things by the preview, nah: This is already my least favorite episode of the season.
TV PG L. Open. They're leaving the eliminated people in there, as usual.
Previously: Jill's quitting was a surprise to everyone (named Jonah.) Rebekah and guy who's name I don't remember aren't happy with her wasting time/stealing a spot. Scott saw Jamie naked and Jamie doesn't think rooming with him is going to work out.
Establishing house shots. Establishing "Lisa is happy to be here" shots, as she tells us as much. Everything is great.
Eric, John, Jamie, and the boom mic guy who's reflection gets shown on the mirror windows relax out on a balcony. Scott walks out and says "[bleep] [bleep] chairs", which leads into another discussion about Scott's lack of maturity. Jamie takes the lead here - which makes sense, when Scott asks Jamie "Are you on the pill?" I'm thinking there has to be some context that's being said, but the editing impression is that it's completely out of left field. Then again, the impression on Jamie and John's faces is that it's completely out of left field, so who knows. Jamie: "Scott, you gotta think before you ask those random questions." Will Scott every learn? Eh.
Eric explains that Scott got moved up to his and Jonah's (red) room, Jill's former spot, because of the whole "walking in on naked Jamie in the bathroom" incident. If Rebekah was still uncomfortable with sleeping in the same room with Chad, couldn't she just move now? She's not a main character this week so we'll never know. Anyway, Jonah and Eric think Scott is a freak. Scott thinks they're picking on him. He's gonna show them that he's serious and he also likes to have fun. I think they'd be happy if he just stopped doing stupid things, but who knows.
Trax West. Al explains the concept of a bet and the importance of someone's word while the kids do calisthenics. Matt (blond haired muscle dude) totally tries to impress Al by challenging Jonah to a bet. If Jonah is slower in the mile run today, Jonah has to do his impression of Bill (Who? HUGH). If Matt loses, he has to shave his head. Maybe Bill's really scary to him, but Matt's kinda dumb putting up his hair for something that small - he's cutting himself short. Handshake on it. Bill gives Jonah a mean look.
They're off. As they run (twice around the block), Bill turns to Al and laughs, because he figures Jonah is gonna burn himself out early because he's scared of losing, and Matt's gonna end up passing him by the end. Bill threatens to sit on Jonah after his bad impression. Bill narrates that Jonah came around the first lap ahead, with a big smile on his face thinking he had it all locked up, but Matt was just behind him, with a bigger smile on his face because he knew had Jonah. Matt's almost already passed him by the first turn of the second lap, and easily beats him back in. Bill stares at Jonah as he runs in.
Jonah goes to get a drink of water but Bill corners him. "I'm kinda thinking this isn't a bet you wanted to lose." "Yea, I'm kinda thinking that." But a bet is a bet and he has to do it. Al tells him to put his heart in to it. "I'm gonna try to do you good, Bill!" "No, you lost." You can't argue with that kinda logic.
Eric explains that Bill has signature groan faces, strokes his beard, and a pounces. So Jonah tries to do the same - waving his arms around, pouncing on a guy, bouncing in the corner, and very scared that he's ticking off Bill. Bill surprises him by giving him a handshake instead of a beatdown, and Al can't stop laughing about how scared Jonah is.
Somersault bumps. Everyone's getting better. They graduate to side headlocks and headlock takedowns, then to the legscissors reversal. Al singles Scott out as someone who's grown a lot and may continue to grow quickly. Al also says "over the last two weeks", which means everything from this point on is a big leap from where we were a couple minutes. It's gonna seem like they're getting to stuff a lot quicker (and to some extent, I think they are - they're more prepared for what they're getting themselves into), but the time jump is making it seem sudden. Anyway, Scott is happy to be here, even if it's in Al's headlock.
Lyrics to the music: "I can't think, I can't speak..." You think someone just might be about to screw up? We're back to Lisa, who did something so horrible it only comes across as an off-screen mat thump, and Al pinching Lisa's arm away from a collar and elbow lockup. Al says Lisa is obviously an athlete, but "gets very tight, and she can't do that. Physically, she shuts down." Random (obviously from different days or she's changing clothes between bumps) clips of Lisa landing bad on bumps - lots on her lowerback. To far down on a headlock, although we're not clear on what she's supposed to be doing till Al and Bill yell at her. Lisa gives Bill a look when Bill is explaining that she looks like "[bleep]", which wouldn't seem to be a wise idea. Lisa messes up another in-the-headlock spot. Al: "Can you not do two things at one time?" Lisa takes a moment before answering, which seems about right - that sounds like some sort of trick question. I think the answer is no. Lisa (at some point in time): "Today was a rough day, and I thought I was going to die. So I had to get myself out of my head so I didn't - didn't screw up." Al: "If Lisa doesn't keep pace with everyone else, and the eventually is, that she would be cut." Editors cut the "That's a while away and she's certainly not alone in that quality." Break.
Back to Trax. Al explains that they're gonna start with the very basics - it's the little things that separate these kids from other people. Jamie notices how they're expanding the moves and such, and thinks it's awesome. The kids work those basic spots this week, which they seem to enjoy - more interactive than just taking bumps.
Dramatic music change means that Lisa is about to mess up again. She's totally not in it, as if she's distracted by something. Having to stop and take a step back to remember which arm she's supposed to be using for a headlock. Laughing and smiling at her mistakes - Eric notes that to us, and it's lack of appropriateness in the situation. Lisa goes for the wrong spot after a bump, almost heading the other person, and laughs some more. Matt says Lisa was slowing everyone down, and they couldn't get why she was doing it.
Session's over for the day, but Bill isn't so happy. He asks for a reminder of what he told them at the beginning of the day - be intense. And someone (LISA) wasn't intense, they all get to run an extra mile now. Bill makes it very clear to Lisa (who is STILL SMILING and working really hard not to crack up) that it's her fault that they're going to run. Nick says everyone was ticked at Lisa, and Lisa didn't apologize to them. Looks like Lisa is last in on the run.
Back to the house. People relaxing outside. Chad says that it'd been a long week, but they (or some) decided that'd it'd be good if they all went out together to celebrate making through it, even coming home early for those who weren't as into it. Jonah, John and Matt sit on (not at - apparently, they're not in the mood for chairs) the kitchen counter and discuss Lisa's probable unwillingness to go with. Justin is the loser nominated to go ask Jill, who's listening to music on headphones in her room (all alone) - and quickly gets shut done. "If you don't go, none of us go!" "Doesn't sound like my problem!" I think it's probably worth noting here that, as far as we've been told, neither Big nor Al or anyone else has declared All or Nothing (which is good, because there's enough O-Town on MTV), it's just a silly peer pressure technique by some to get everyone to go along with their plan. They can still go if they want to, and Jill's refusal to go doesn't change any of that.
Nevertheless, Justin walks out of the (blue) room and is all "how dare she! what about us! the nerve of that person!" Justin tells everyone, complains about her making them run extra, and rallies them to go out without her. And they do. Scott has a blue Hawaiian shirt. As they pile into the two vans, we see Lisa sitting outside, listening to her music.
The vans pull up to a gas station. Eric, who seems to only exist in confessional interviews this week, explains that he and Jonah made a bet with Scott. If Scott can get a woman's legitimate number tonight, Jonah and Eric will dress up in "bra and underwear" tomorrow. If Scott can't, he has to do it. Scott is hesitant but agrees. Jonah thinks he's got this made, with Scott being crazy, stupid talking Scott.
Sad music plays and Lisa looks out to the mountains from a porch chair. Confessional (that seems like the one from the first week and not necessarily this one) "Right now, I'm struggling. It's gonna be hard to deal with all the physical and mental pressure we're gonna be dealing wtih next week."
Lisa in the phone room as the music gets to it's loud and annoying climax. We hear the (probably more "a" and again, not necessarily this one) phone ringing time after time, waiting for someone to pick up, as Lisa gets the "I hate being stuck on hold this long face." Eventually, she hangs up and drops her head back. Full moon.
The rest of the group heads to the "Saddle Ranch Chop House" - I believe this turns out to be the same place where last year's group lost the bet to Big about how many people could stay on the mechanical bronco. Scott is hitting on women before he even gets to the door - he's trying. Someone meets them at the door as they go in, so either someone knew a person or this was setup.
Matt play by plays - within ten minutes, Scott is talking to a girl. Jonah and Eric are freaking out. Scott: "Where's a pen? Where's a pen? I need a pen!" You can see the girl blushing a bit. Matt says he went right over to Jonah and Eric to tell them they were done. Scott shows the camera the phone number - on his forearm. Rebekah says Jonah and Eric were aghast, not believing this was actually happening.
Back to the house. Jonah's asking if there's a way they might take that bet off. Scott says they'll talk with Big, but Jonah doesn't like his chances with Big. Scott, in Scott's Personal Confessional shows off - not only did he get a girl's number on his right arm, but he got a girl's number on his left arm! Obviously, this man needs more arms. OR A PHONE.
Eric and Jonah aren't happy with what tomorrow brings. Tactic one: threaten Scott with making his life as roommate not so much fun unless he takes it off. Scott shows no fear. Tactic two: They're roommates, he can't screw with his own roommates like this. Scott doesn't budge. The great part is that if Scott had lost this, there's absolutely no one way he's let out of this by Jonah and Eric, and yet, they're looking for any possible way out. Which brings us to Tactic three: be loud and annoying when Scott wants to sleep unless he makes a deal. What wusses.
Lisa's bed, in slow motion. Which seems kinda pointless, because nothing's really moving. Especially that overturned container on top of the bed that wasn't like that when we saw Lisa laying her before. The rest of the roommates have noticed her disappearance, but because of the events of earlier that day, it seems like Kelly (the first person to notice) doesn't care all that much right away. Everyone starts to wonder a bit when they notice she's not out on the patio either. They look through the house and don't find her. Matt and Kelly have a conversation that's hard to decipher - Matt: "They took two? [something mumbled]" "That's right. I never thought about that." "Why would she sleep in those?" "Why would she be, like, asleep?" I think they're talking about clothes here, but I'm not sure. Kelly tells us that she thought something might be wrong with Lisa - you don't say. Break.
At some point, you figure they picked up the phone line to Production and were given enough of answer to not call the police to report a missing person, but we're never clued in on that.
Morning at the house. People in bed. John, Kelly and Matt (all wearing blue) talk in the blue room. Matt: "Right before we left, I went out there and talked to [Lisa] and she still had the same - and I mean, the same upbeat attitude, but I knew something was wrong." To us, Matt says it seemed like things weren't sinking in for Lisa.
Elsewhere, in the b-story land. Eric says he woke up with a stomach ache of DREAD. Jonah tries to wake Scott up to convince him to call this off, but his mistake is probably calling him "Scotty", as if he's going to get beamed up. Jonah says to us that they tried every angle to get (worm) out of it. Jonah lies and says they would've let Scott out of it if he lost. I don't think Jonah even believes that. Eric says they tried bribing, threatening, but nothing worked. Jonah tries scare tactics: "You're gonna see your roommates in bikinis, dude!" but even that's not working.
Outside, the Big-mobile pulls up. Chad hurries to the door and opens it, than explains to us that Big came over two hours early. Chad: "Initially, I thought it was to talk about something that happened the night before, but then, we found out it was about Lisa." Cut to Big - who looks frazzled - talking to the kids in the living room. "You know this is a very stressful thing that you guys are going through. And it's not for everybody. You know, people find it's not for them. Last night, um, Lisa she decide this wasn't for her and this is not something she wanted to pursue." Cut to Big confessional, where he still looks a bit out of it - "You start to ...you know, get to know this kids, and start to care about these kids, and um, you know, sometimes thinks occur that you don't expect." Back to what the live audience is getting: "I appreciate what she gave the time that she was here. Um, I appreciated everything that she contributed, but she's just decided that it wasn't for her." Matt: "The reason Lisa left is - is really boggling my mind. I think maybe, her mind gave up before her body, really." Jamie: "I'm a little sad, because I felt I got to know Lisa, and she's a really good person and I liked her a lot." Kelly: "I don't think I'm sad to see Lisa go, because I'm ready to take her place." Big to the kids. "This is a competition, and that's the way you have to look at it. You guys cool with that?" "Yes, Big."
Time to move on to the beach, after a quick change of wardrobe. Big introduces the two slightly new contestants: "Erica", wearing a old style one piece bathing suit with a leopard bra on top and "Joni", wearing a really big two piece bathing suit with more a skirt bottom than anything else. Jonah: "I look good in pink."
Beach frolicking. Scott gets buried alive. I think this is the Friday Physical Challenge, which is kinda sad. Beach volleyball. In the midst of the mostly friendly game, Scott lands bad after a weak attempt at a spike, and jams his thump into the sand. Matt says it looked bad, though Scott didn't want to make a deal about it, lest he be seen as a complainer. Big (telling someone back at Trax) said that he took one look at the thumb and knew he needed medical attention.
Valley Presbyterian Hospital. X-rays - I don't know much, but it doesn't look good. Dr. David M. Auerbach, M.D. checks out the thumb - does it hurt here? Scott's pretty sure it really really does. "Ah!" Ligament tear - it doesn't need surgery, but it does have to be immobilized for 6 to 8 weeks. He needs to avoid strong gripping, falling or getting hit on it. A protective cast is put on the hand. Scott is worried where this will leave him, and sheds a tear.
Next week: Scott's healthy enough to drink quite a bit. Everyone party. A cut tomorrow. Jamie doesn't want to go. Someone lands back first on Bill's head in one of the ugliest messed up bumps I've seen on this show. Scott (wrestling with that injury) lands hard face first. Nick says he thought someone was going to be seriously hurt and - as we look at ambulance driving away - someone did.
If you hadn't know, you would have gotten a feeling there was more to it than what was being shown, but not be able to put the finger on it. Big probably gave it away the most in the not-for-the-kids confessional, opting to try and make what he said consistent with the story he told the kids, and whatever actually happened.
Lisa looked to me like one of those people who just laugh as a nervous reaction - I've known a few. Or maybe she was just craaaaaaazy.
Either way, she obviously wasn't gonna be able to handle the pressure of the WWE, and didn't have "the look", either. No shots of the psychotic episode, though - damn. Maybe the cameramen were busy keeping her from killing herself?
"The Cynical Weekly Wrestling Recap.” Well folks, the response to the RAW review was so overwhelming this week that I’ve decided to continue with my tradition. Or maybe I can blame my lack of feedback on a cyclical downturn in business. Yes.