Wow, it looks like their publicity stunt paid off!!!
Nashville, TN (November 12, 2004) TNA Entertainment, LLC announced today that it has signed Cookie Monster to an exclusive contract, where he will appear on Total Nonstop Action Wrestling pay-per-events.
"We are thrilled to add Cookie Monster to our growing roster," said Frank Romano, COO TNA Entertainment. "Not only is he a household name, but he adds a sense of class and dignity our brand of professional wrestling monthly on pay-per-view. Also, he works extremely cheap."
"COOKIES!!!" said the furry blue monster at a press conference announcing his involvement with Total Nonstop Action Wrestling. "Me love cookies. Um num num!"
The monster was attracted to the company after Total Nonstop Action superstars Tracy and Abyss offered him complimentary cookies. Vince Russo, who recently resigned as TNA's Director of Authority, is credited with signing the talent.
"Let's face it -- the guy draws money." said Russo. "He doesn't even have to get in the ring to be effective. He can do commentary. He can manage. He can help teach the referees to count to three."
Cookie Monster hasn't decided what his role will be on Total Nonstop Action.
"Me not going to job to Jarrett," said Cookie Monster, cookie crumbs flying everywhere. "Me have it in creative control clause. Um num num!"
According to Total Nonstop Action ring announcer and flunky Jeremy Borash, Cookie may form a tag team with Grover to go after tag team champions 3 Live Kru.
DIRECTV is the nation's leading digital multichannel television service provider with more than 13 million customers.
The alternative for the true wrestling fan, Total Nonstop Action Wrestling prides itself on delivering quality, family programming that is clean, innovative, cutting edge and with the high-risk, high-flying athleticism that TNA Wrestling is known for. Total Nonstop Action Wrestling iMPACT! airs Fridays at 3:00 p.m. on FSN (check local listings). TNA Xplosion is a syndicated program (check local listings). TNA Wrestling pay-per-views are available on iN DEMAND, DISH Network, DIRECTV, TVN, Viewers Choice Canada, Bell ExpressVu and Shaw Communications. For more information, log on to www.tnawrestling.com. -30-
And here I was thinking that he was still in the dregs of a WWFE development deal, but I guess after Shane tried to hype his arrival in May 2001 as a member of The Alliance and the part of his speech (during Angle's medal ceremony, you may recall) didn't get over he was just floating around the indies since then. In fact his whole arrival got scrapped after he was supposed to origianlly be given the role of Sara Undertaker's stalker that ended up going to DDP.
And here TNA is trying to dispel the notion that they're not a bunch of WWE washouts. Silly us.
(edited by Blanket Jackson on 12.11.04 1515) "America is the land where people are free to dream whatever they want. So long as that dream doesn't make Mid-Westerners feel icky" -Lewis Black
Originally posted by Blanket JacksonAnd here I was thinking that he was still in the dregs of a WWFE development deal, but I guess after Shane tried to hype his arrival in May 2001 as a member of The Alliance and the part of his speech (during Angle's medal ceremony, you may recall) didn't get over he was just floating around the indies since then. In fact his whole arrival got scrapped after he was supposed to origianlly be given the role of Sara Undertaker's stalker that ended up going to DDP.
And here TNA is trying to dispel the notion that they're not a bunch of WWE washouts. Silly us.
(edited by Blanket Jackson on 12.11.04 1515)
I can't believe this is as funny to me as it is. Huh.
Concerning the press release, does Russo approve of Cookie Monster, since he obviously gives into the sin of gluttony on a daily basis? Shame, shame.
"Maybe I'm getting off topic, but this thread already sucks, so I don't feel bad about it. " -LotusMegami
"The only way TV Gangrel could change is if Real Gangrel changed." -Filipino Elvis
In an update on this breaking story, sources close to the booking committee for TNA claim that Cookie Monster will make his TNA PPV debut on the December card, wrestling Oscar the Grouch in a "Sesame Street Fight" match.
A locker room source who wished to remain anonymous said that Oscar was unhappy with his position on the card with Cookie Monster.
More updates on this story as they develop.
THE CONSPIRACY FAILS - Randomly Selected Wiener, er, I guess, "W" of the Day, August 13, 2002
THE W.COM - GET THE "IENERBOARD" OUT!!!
See what other folks have to say about me: "Rage, you are awesome." - Parts Unknown, April 10, 2004. "Big Props to RageRockrr: '+ Oh, and three simple words: Optimus. Fucking. Prime.' You're DAMN right!" - Bizzle Izzle, August 7, 2002. "Thank you for bringing back a DEEP 80s memory, Rage. THANK YOU." - DMC, June 6, 2002. "Thanks RageRockrr! You're the coolest!" - Excalibur05, March 10, 2002.
Originally posted by TNA website “I was disheartened,” said “The Franchise” Shane Douglas. “If our kind gesture was mistakenly perceived as threatening and hostile, we sincerely apologize.”
That was just... so well done. Seriously. Understated and hilarious at the same time. Almost makes me want to take back the Cookie Monster comment.
Is it a safe bet that this "incident" is as close as Shane Douglas will come to being around the WWF/E again in any of our lifetimes? And, Cookie Monster on his worst day would make a much better NWA Champ than Jeff Jarrett on his best day. Of course, that could lead to the InVasion angle where Waldorf and Statsny take the tag titles.
The Ottoman Empire is coming. The Ottoman Empire is coming. Hide the couches.
Originally posted by TNA websiteEven the monster Abyss, in a rare melancholy moment, was seen with a tear in his eye, still clutching the very same balloons that no one from WWE wanted.
Now tell me that this visual doesn't send tears to your eyes?
The answer to WWE's financial problems...
Never 'Wiener of the Day', and is actually quite bitter about it.
Originally posted by Phantom LordI think it's just sad that Vince doesn't have a sense of humor anymore.
If this was backin the day during the hight of the WCW/WWF War a Billionaire Ted Promo would be in development right now as I type this.
Vince has a sick sense of humor.
Jerry Jarrett in an Iron Lung Jeff and his shrine to himself and the NWA Title. Dutch Mantel and a bottle of Moonshine.
Come on this shit writes it self.
Well, it's a lot easier to do those things when you're the number two rasslin company in the country (i.e. TNA in 2004 or WWF in 1996). If you're the leader, and you stick it to the little guy it can only come back to bite you in the ass (I think we all remember Eric Bischoff's infamous comments about "when Tuesday mornings were fun").
Originally posted by TNA websiteEven the monster Abyss, in a rare melancholy moment, was seen with a tear in his eye, still clutching the very same balloons that no one from WWE wanted.
Now tell me that this visual doesn't send tears to your eyes?
Maybe Vince was threatened that the sight of a 300 pound masked monster handing out balloons was way funnier than anything creative has come up with in years....
Hey, Vince....keep your friends close and your enemies closer!
Funny stuff, though Funny how most of those involved in this were former WWF/E talent. James, Killings, Douglas, Konnan...all three worked for Vince at one time or another.
"Marvelous, I love that record. It grabs me by the crotch and shakes me around until I am not sure if I am a man or a woman. Then I remember I am Fernando Martinez, Mister Fernando Martinez, and this is Mister Mister with Broken Wings." - Fernando Martinez, GTA Vice City's Emotion FM
Originally posted by Phantom LordIf this was backin the day during the hight of the WCW/WWF War a Billionaire Ted Promo would be in development right now as I type this.
Well as far as Vince is concerned, TNA doesn't even exist. And mentioning them on WWE TV probably does more harm than good. How many marks are gonna go, "Oh, that's what happened to that guy. Maybe I should check that out." There'd be some, I think.
NOTE: The above post makes no sense. We apologize for the inconvenience.
Originally posted by TNA websiteEven the monster Abyss, in a rare melancholy moment, was seen with a tear in his eye, still clutching the very same balloons that no one from WWE wanted.
Now tell me that this visual doesn't send tears to your eyes?
Substitute "Batista" for "Abyss" and you have a Matt Hocking Raw Satire.
The irony in all this is that one of these days, when no one expects it, Abyss just might wind up working for WWE. And I doubt Vince will forget this episode.
Originally posted by redsoxnationAnd, Cookie Monster on his worst day would make a much better NWA Champ than Jeff Jarrett on his best day.
With Russo still around, I can't believe no one has said "Well, at least he'd made a better world champion than David Arquette."
When the hell did SNITSKYMANIA start to run wild???