I guess I am tasked with creating this thread again this month. I'm not even a big TNA fan, I watch because I like some of the wrestlers and like to see what they're doing. It reminds me too much of WCW, and I never liked WCW.
TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH Rob Van Dam vs. Champion "The Icon" Sting - I think RVD will win this time, to set up a match with Mr. Anderson down the road.
CHYNA'S WRESTLING RETURN Kurt Angle and Chyna vs. The Jarretts - I'm hoping Kurt Angle finally gets a win against Jeff Jarrett.
TNA TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP Matt Hardy and Chris Harris vs. Beer Money - Beer Money.
X DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP Max Buck vs. Champion Kazarian - Kazarian.
CHALLENGE MATCH: AJ Styles vs. Tommy Dreamer - AJ Styles.
TNA KNOCKOUTS CHAMPIONSHIP Madison Rayne vs. champion Mickie James - Mickie James
TAG TEAM MATCH: Mexican America vs. Ink Inc - Mexican America
Wow...this is the weakest card they've put on in awhile. I'm more interested in seeing if Chyna pulls a Jeff Hardy than any of the matches.
This whole RVD/Sting/Anderson chokehold on the main event reminds me of a couple years back when every WWE PPV for like 18 months was headlined by some combination of Cena/Orton/HHH. Probably exaggerating, but both felt that way.
I'll base my predictions on the fool's hope that they were serious about focusing on wrestling.
-RVD beats Sting -Angle beats Jarrett and kills 45 minutes of backstage antics each week. -Beer Money wins to set up Hardys Vs Beer Money -Kazarian -AJ -Mickie -MexAm -Crimson -Kendrick
Yeah, lost in that whole "iMPACT Wrestling" business and the whole nonsense with the Network rep is that there's a PPV this weekend!
TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH Rob Van Dam vs. Champion "The Icon" Sting -It'd be nice if they could take the title off Sting and give it to someone that could actually have main events longer than 5 minutes, but sadly I don't think that's the plan. Sting retains...in five minutes.
CHYNA'S WRESTLING RETURN Kurt Angle and Chyna vs. The Jarretts -This has been one of the most one-sided feuds in recent memory and CHYNA'S the one that's turning the tide? That's lovely. Kurt and Chyna win after Chyna pins Karen. This feud MUST continue!
TNA TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP Matt Hardy and Chris Harris vs. Beer Money -Matt Hardy and Chris Harris wins. Hopefully, Harris shows up looking any semblance of his old self.
X DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP Max Buck vs. Champion Kazarian -Kazarian wins the title.
CHALLENGE MATCH: AJ Styles vs. Tommy Dreamer -Why did they turn Dreamer heel? Who thought that was a good idea? Styles wins.
TNA KNOCKOUTS CHAMPIONSHIP Madison Rayne vs. champion Mickie James -Why is this feud STILL going? Mickie wins and everyone hopefully moves on.
TAG TEAM MATCH: Mexican America vs. Ink Inc -No reason to stop the Mexican America push now, so they win.
Abyss vs. Crimson -Abyss wins to set him up as Hogan's guy.
Robbie E vs. Brian Kendrick -Robbie E wins.
What an uninspired card. If there was any justice, Joe and Pope would be on top of the company and instead, they aren't even booked. This is WCWTNA IMPACT WRESTLING!
Just for fun, for whoever ends up recapping this, let's keep track of the match times, just to see if they actually follow their lip service of "going back to wrestling."
How to predict TNA: think "hey, you know what would be dumb?" and then guess that.
- Sting retains - Jarretts win when Chyna turns on Kurt - Harris and Hardy win the tag belts - Buck over Kazarian - Dreamer over Styles - Madison wins the title - Ink Inc. d. Mexican America - Abyss d. Crimson - Robbie E d. Kendrick
I think I will make predictions based on what wouldn't make sense or make me happy:
RVD (Sting vs. Anderson sounds even more wretched than RVD/Anderson)
Matt Hardy/Braden Walker Texas Ranger
Tommy Dreamer (to solidify that awesome and necessary heel turn)
Angle and Chyna
Chyna will also force her way into the women's title match and pin Rayne and take the Knockouts title
Max Buck (afterwards the other Buck comes out and turns on his brother to get a shot at the belt)
Abyss over Crimson
Kendrick over Robbie E
"Put on your helmets, we'll be reaching speeds of 3!" "It was nice of you to give that dead woman another chance." "All right, look alive everybody...oh sorry Susan."- MST3K: Space Mutiny Click Here (myspace.com)
An Article (news.enquirer.com). More power to him, I guess, though I take qualms with Shark Boy's line about trying to take his character seriously and the writer's claim that TNA is a "touring company".