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The W - Pro Wrestling - TNA report for 2-4-04
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Head cheese

Since: 17.11.03
From: Aransas Pass TX

Since last post: 4128 days
Last activity: 3988 days
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 0.85
The show opened with a lengthy TNA version of the HHH diatribe. How long was it? Well, the first match didn't get into the ring until the 25 minute mark of the show. The key points are that Jeff Jarrett has the power now, Don Callis is the authority figure, Jonny Fairplay hangs with them in a greatly reduced role, and Thomas T. Stennenbaum, their attorney, is former Memphis manager Ernest Angel. Anyway, he was a lot better in the old role when he used a loaded bible as a foreign object doing a revivalist gimmick. Thomas said the NWA board has been disbanded and Bill Behrens has resigned, in order to keep from looking foolish. Later, as the show was going off the air, we were told that in the final act of the board, they've appointed a new Director of Authority. Yes, a mystery guy to be revealed in a few weeks. In the middle of all this, Chris Harris spoke up for the babyfaces. Jarrett knocked him by saying he was just a mid-card tag team wrestler. Yes, let's bury our tag team titles while we're at it. Harris said this mid-card tag team wrestler (nice to see his verbiage gets to bury himself) had some of the companies best matches last year. Anyway, this ended up in a pull-apart.

1. ICP beat Glenn Gilberti & David Young in 6:45 when Shaggy pinned Young after a legdrop off the top rope after Violent J did a moonsault. Both ICP members did dives as well. This looked like a fairly good backyard match, or a pretty bad actual match, take your pick. It also had the most heat of anything on the show because there were a lot of ICP fans at the show, and was by far the worst worked match on the show. Gilberti & Young jumped them after, but 2 Tuff Tony made the save.

2. Sonny Siaki pinned Kid Kash in 5:21. Stips in Jarrett & Callis' long speech were the faces were all put against the wall. Siaki had to win or he's fired. Well, with distraction for Sara Lee, the 80-year-old ticket lady and Tiny, the obese bell ringer, and Jeremy the ring announcer, Siaki got the pin with a schoolboy. Callis then fired Lee, Tiny and Jeremy. Trinity kicked Siaki and Kash gave him a low blow. Kash went to hug Trinity but she walked off with Callis.

3. Abyss beat El Leon via DQ in 7:34. Stips were if Leon lost, he'd get unmasked. They hit hard but the crowd didn't care. A couple of near falls before Abyss hit the black hole slam. Instead of going for the pin, he went for the mask. A.J. Styles, who was announced earlier in the show as being seriously injured, did run-in. Styles and Leon cleaned house. Styles wanted a title match with Jarrett. Callis agreed to give him a title match, but then said it was for the tag titles, and his partner would be Abyss. Wow, just like Bischoff. If only they had Stone Cold and Mick Foley, they'd be on their way.

4. Julio Dinero & C.M. Punk beat Terry Funk & Sandman in 5:04. What a waste of Funk's debut. Julio pinned Sandman after a double team spot where Sandman crashed onto chairs. They did no special effects to tease Raven.

Mike Tenay interviewed Simon Diamond & Johnny Swinger. Diamond brought up that Tenay once again won the Observer's Manager of the Year award. I wonder how many web sites will leave that part out of their rundown? The story here is that both denied signing with Jarrett and that Gilberti was a liar. Swinger noted that Simon was best man at his wedding. Jonny Fairplay, who claimed to know when somebody is lying because he's the biggest liar in the world, and said ask his grandmother, said one of them is lying. Diamond got up and did unspeakable acts to Fairplay that we didn't see.

5. A.J. Styles won the tag titles beating Kevin Northcutt & Joe Legend in a handicap match in 11:12. A.J. worked it alone even though Abyss was supposed to his partner. He mostly got beaten on, but kept coming back. A nice story and with a different crowd, would have come across as a good match. After Northcutt kicked Styles low, Harris came out. Northcutt debuted his new Northcutt driver, which is a pump handle full nelson slam. Styles kicked out of it. Harris pulled down the ropes causing Legend to take a bump over. Styles reversed a Northcutt move and pinned him with a rolling reverse cradle. It was announced that Styles & Abyss are tag champs even though Abyss was long gone. Interesting dynamic since Harris helped Styles win the belt.

ICP did a promo saying they wanted to face whomever Jarrett wants in a Juggalo street fight next week.

Erik Watts came out. He was banned from the building and gone from the promotion, but here he is again. He sat in a chair and said he wasn't going to leave until Jarrett came out. Goldylocks came out playing the psycho bitch from hell role. She faked every orgasm. She's get more pleasure out of pleasuring herself. She basically called him a woos who couldn't stand on his own. He just sat there and took it until he got up and was about to choke slam her, but Northcutt, Legend and Jarrett came out to put the beating on him. They used duct tape to tie him up and cover his mouth. Dustin Rhodes made the save in his debut.

6. Jarrett pinned Rhodes, the secret challenger, in 7:06. They brawled in the stands for several minutes. Harris, Leon, Legend, Northcutt, Abyss and Styles were all involved and there were two ref bumps. And keep in mind they didn't get into the ring until the 4:30 mark of the match. Jarrett kicked out of Styles' frog splash. He survived the shattered dreams. Finally, if we hadn't had enough interference, The Naturals showed up and one threw powder at Rhodes and the other hit him with a chair.

God Bless
Promote this thread!

Since: 6.1.02
From: not Japan

Since last post: 4299 days
Last activity: 4296 days
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.03
Sounds absolutely awful.

Aren't all those AAA guys on next week? Did they mention that at all?

Weekly Visitor - PSSSSHAW!

Jersey Is Dead - New Stuff! Unemployment is your friend!

Since: 25.4.03
From: Nashville, TN

Since last post: 306 days
Last activity: 191 days
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.65

I was at the show ... I didn't think it was bad at all. AJ made the show ... the guy is awesome ...

The AAA/Amercia's cup thing is going to be all pretaped ... they taped some matches last week and some matches this week.

And they mentioned something off-air about Joanie "Chyna" Lauer making an appearing at an upcoming show ... I wanna say it is in two weeks, but I could hear it all that well.

MMMMMMMM ... pistol whip ...
Head cheese

Since: 4.4.03

Since last post: 4673 days
Last activity: 3957 days
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 10.00
AJ is the's sad that the WWE doesn't see potential enough in him to give him a good contract...he could easily be the next Shawn Michaels

Does anyone know if Spanky is going back there yet?

"This is RAW, man...not an episode of The OC" Christian
Lap cheong

Since: 15.1.02
From: Philly

Since last post: 3987 days
Last activity: 3986 days
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.00
AJ rules, all right, but not even his wonderfulness can save this turkey. It's really easy to see why this show sucked hard. The first segment was tedious, no doubt. I have to he honest, it was done better and more effectively four years ago in something now known as the McMahon-Helmsley Era. Also, what's up with AJ as a TAG champ with ABYSS of all people? Maybe it's not as bad as I think, hard to tell.

The Funker. More like the Flunker, lol. 4-0 for the Gathering. I love the Gathering, but this is getting tiresome with the old folks. This thing with Diamond and Swinger is so simple. If they both didn't sign the oath, you know what it could be? FORGERY! But of course, that's not considered.

Finally, Goldylocks. You know, I never thought we'd find true competition for Stephanie McMahon's acting caliber, but it's here. Wow, what a promo. What a lame ass show.

After a quarter of a century on this planet, there's three things I know for sure...
1)Ain't nothing like a Dirty Pair marathon on New Year's Eve.
2)I'd make a fine Mrs. HHH II.
3) I'd make an acceptable Mrs. Orton.
1400 reasons to luv me!

Since: 25.4.03
From: Nashville, TN

Since last post: 306 days
Last activity: 191 days
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.65

Funk came out and cut a promo after the cameras stopped rolling stating that he's coming back and that he's also spoken to Raven and the two will tag (against the Gathering I would assume) ...

The show must have come off terrible live ... the best part was at the beginning (when they were showing last week's recap) ... Kid Kash was just laying into some kid (that looked like Andy Kaufman's illegitimate child) at ringside ... my buddies and I were rolling with laughter.

MMMMMMMM ... pistol whip ...
Joe E. Nitro

Since: 4.2.04

Since last post: 4942 days
Last activity: 2423 days
#7 Posted on

    4. Julio Dinero & C.M. Punk beat Terry Funk & Sandman in 5:04. What a waste of Funk's debut. Julio pinned Sandman after a double team spot where Sandman crashed onto chairs. They did no special effects to tease Raven.

I don't know what's worse the fact that this is all they used Terry Funk for or the fact that Terry Funk actually came back for this?

I stopped buying these shows awhile ago. The booking of these things just seem horrible, there are far too many run-ins, and the focus just seems to be on the wrong people. TNA really hasn't evolved much from their Miss TNA/Dupp Cup matches, and that's really a shame.
It's False

Since: 20.6.02
From: I am the Tag Team Champions!

Since last post: 67 days
Last activity: 5 days
#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.66
I would hope people are saving their 10 bucks for the America's cup. Screw Jarrett's boring ass main event program, THIS'LL be the reason to watch next week.

Spoiler Below: Highlight text to read
It'll be interesting to see how Lynn/Juvi goes, especially after the report that Juvi nearly broke Lynn's neck.

Abyss is quickly becoming one of TNA's main attractions. This guy has to be seen to be believed. The amazing thing is, he's just getting started and could easily become the second coming of Vader. Imagine if he busts out the Abyss-sault one day.

TNA's really setting up Raven's return to be something special. If he tags with Terry Funk to face the Gathering, TNA could have a show-stealer on their hands.

(edited by It's False on 5.2.04 1821)

You really SHOULD think about going back to your old Yankees cap, yo!

Since: 25.4.03
From: Nashville, TN

Since last post: 306 days
Last activity: 191 days
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.65

I'm still not totally sold on Abyss ... He needs an appearance makeover ... I just can't buy into a psycho monster wearing Ralph Lauren jeans ...

Funny thing about Abyss last night ... I was on the 2nd row behind some MILF with a nice breast enhancement ... Abyss walks by at one point and you could see his eyes behind the mask slowly cut their way toward her chest. My buds and I got a kick out of that one ...

MMMMMMMM ... pistol whip ...

Since: 22.9.03
From: Indiana

Since last post: 4735 days
Last activity: 4735 days
#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.35

***Considering what little we know about Abyss, trashy jeans seem perfectly appropriate. He lives in the equipment cage under the stairs. This is not a man who cares about his appearance.

***I loved the opener, if only because it was such an obvious satire. Of what, exactly, I'm still working on.
Was the idiotic music inspired by "Tooty-Fruity." I can imagine no other reason for such stupid music, if not to mock someone.

***David Young is afraid of clowns! Come on, you have to admit that's original.

***I would had liked to see some X division action, or more technical wrestling. You can only have so much hardcore, through the crowds brawling before it doesn't seem so bad.

***Dustin Rhodes! Hell yeah!

***I have a guess about El Leon. A man of that size and build who can pull off high-flying moves - my money's on Mike Awesome.

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i used to think mantaur was pretty cool... Fuck you and fuck your dog.
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