So I finally saw it. I decided to plunk down $10 for the first PPV I've ever purchased -- and I'm not just talking wrestling, I'm talking any PPV ever, period. Never saw the point of getting WWE PPVs -- you can get the results in due time, the next night on RAW, via the Internet, whatever, and maybe you can rent the tape if it sounds good enough. I mean, it'd be nice to see them and all, but they're fucking expensive and I'm fucking cheap.
But I just had to see NWA TNA, and there was no other way to see it. It sounded delectably bad and I was curious. If badness was what I was expecting, I wasn't disappointed -- though the badness more often trended toward boring-bad than so-bad-it's-good.
The one thing that was on my mind the whole time was "indy, indy, indy." The show had an incredibly independent feel, from the paint-by-numbers wrestling (even in the vaunted X Division matches -- unfortunately, Low Ki and Red, whom I've seen in person and like a lot, were absent) to the lousy production values. The Hot Shots promo was one of the worst I've ever seen. Almost all those guys shouldn't be allowed anywhere near a live mic.
I hate to be cliched, but the talent all has a has-been or never-was feel. If I were Vince McMahon, I'd have my eye on Killings and MAYBE Siaki from the two seconds I saw of him (but he has to stay the fuck AWAY from the mic), and maybe I wouldn't have let go of Allan "Bruce" Funk, but I wouldn't touch anybody else with a 10-foot pole. Why would I want any of those guys? It really drove home how stacked WWE's roster is despite all their problems -- they basically already have anybody they'd want or need. Most of the indy guys will never amount to any more than this. Road Dogg looks like total shit, and he always wrestled like it, so no surprise there. Hall ain't lookin' too good, either.
They just don't seem to have any idea of how to put a major wrestling show together. Here's a good example: The WWF packaged Jeff Jarrett as a country-music superstar, then WCW packaged him as an heir to Flair, then the WWF made him a pissed-off rebel, then WCW made him the obnoxious "chosen one." His look and demeanor matched in all instances. In TNA, he yells a lot, but he comes off like your company's IT director. You know, the one who works 'til 10 every night but manages to take time off for "adventure travel." I'm supposed to care about that?
The announcing is pretty pitiful. Tenay, whom I've never liked, sounds like he's on Sominex. Don West wasn't so amusing as I'd hoped. Borash is an even worse ring announcer than Lilian Garcia and screwed up everybody's name. Goldy Locks (yep, two words) is better than, say, Terri and is actually pretty good when she's "acting," but is obviously either reading off cue cards or struggling really hard to remember her lines the rest of the time.
A lot of the show seems like it's 1983. And not just the production, either -- despite Russo's presence, the booking smacks of old-school, and not in a good way. Case in point: The tag-titles final between Harris/Lee and Harris/Storm. (Yeah, two Harrises, no relation. You think WWE would let that happen in a million years?) Storm of the babyface team is sidelined by a cowardly out-of-ring attack to start, so the heels double up on face Harris for pretty much the entire match. Eventually, against all odds, Storm makes a valiant comeback. The faces win. That's a total 1983 formula right there. Modern (or postmodern) booking would dictate that you, the savvy modern fan, know the underdog should win, so the heels win the titles. They look good for kicking ass, the faces look good because the deck was stacked against them and they still almost pulled it off. Sorry to sound like Scott Keith here, but it's true.
And did you see that crowd? I thought Andy Kaufman was about to come out and lecture them about the proper use of toilet paper.
Speaking of good ol' SK, check out his rant (you know where to find it) -- I can't remember any other time I agreed with every word he said.
Thumbs down (heh heh heh). Anyways, no more $10 Wednesdays for me.
¡Azúcar, flores y muchos colores! Estos fueron los ingredientes elegidos para crear a la niñita perfecta. Pero el profesor Utonio agrego accidentalmente otro ingrediente a la formula: ¡la sustancia X! Y así nacieron, ¡las Chicas Superpoderosas! ¡Con sus ultra súper poderes, Bombón, Burbuja y Bellota dedican su vida a combatir el crimen y las fuerzas del mal!
It wasn't that bad. Sheesh. You should have seen some of the stuff with the Dupps and/or Midgets.
I actually enjoyed the show this week. Obviously it was a disappointment to not see Lo Ki this week, and Amazing Red and the S.A.T.s are pretty impressive when they get a chance to go.
Still - have you ever seen a battle royale that you enjoyed? Most of us probably haven't - yet there sure have been a lot of them in wrestling history. SOMEONE is enjoying them - so like every battle royale - I'll take a pass on judging it. That said, if they have one every week - well, in my opinion that would suck - but I can take a gimmick match like that every once in a while.
Marcus Bagwell... man his physique is still pretty impressive. Why the hell can't he throw a convincing punch? I don't know if he's too careful, but maybe he should considering tyring to be a little stiff. Those slaps were not so good.
Speaking of working stiff - did anyone see the Hot Shots entrance? Both men featured were either happy to be there, or were stuffing their trunks. What's worse is they both featured objects arranged at the same angle. If it had been the minute hand, it was about 10 minutes till the hour, just so you know. I'm not all into staring at a guys package - but it was RIGHT THERE. Weird. That's not something I need to see again. Were they jerking each other off backstage before their match?
I thought Syxx Pac was pretty fired up. I would have liked to see him sell a little more, but oh well. That's pretty much always been my complaint with him. I still enjoy seeing him on TV.
I was entertained. I'll get it again next week. What else is there to do on a Wednesday night?
Not as bad as some previous editions, but this also wasn't the blowaway show that the "relaunch" show should have been.
GOOD: -Lynn/Killings: This champion vs champion was every bit as good as I expected and The Truth continues to impress. Good match, despite the interference. Now we've safely set up two more feuds and all's well.
-Seeing some old buddies: I won't go as far as to say "starpower", but seeing Scott Hall, Syxx-Pac, and Road Dogg was a refreshing sight. Don't know WHO invited Bagwell back, but if someone can keep him on a leash, he shouldn't be TOO bad.
-Screech: I was always a Screech mark and even though many of you may find his presence and boxing match hideously bad, I found him entertaining. That probably brings the total to...one.
BAD: -Styles/Kash: These two just didn't mesh well together and this match highlighted all the complaints everyone has about the X Division.
-Battle Royal: I usually enjoy these kinds of matches, but it didn't work for me. No drama whatsoever and the winners just irked me. I don't know who thinks Chris Harris and James Storm are over, but they don't look over to me. And who the hell came up with the idea of pushing Brian Lee and Ron Harris?!?!
-Miss TNA: Is THIS joke still being foistered on us?!
-No Low Ki: The big relaunch show and your biggest star isn't there. That's definitely bad news.
Not a horrible show, but this wasn't what was hyped. A relaunch show should have blown me away!
(edited by It's False on 19.9.02 1244)
"That's right! You suckas better FIND somewhere to run! 'cause it's me - Booker T - not only am I the Scorpion King, but I'm the five-time WCW Champion - and I got a sword, too! Now can U dig THAT - SUCKAAAAAS"
I agree in general with It's False, although I liked Kash / Styles quite a bit. Well, I'm a spot mark; I especially enjoyed the dueling "drop kicks to the groin" spots.
Gauntlet was eh. They missed some good opportunities for drama, like Road Dogg (or, rather, "B.G. James") and X-Pac reuniting for the first time in however long. And the X guys are always just playing ragdoll for guys like Ron Harris, which is a TRAVESTY.
I definitely disagree with VK that the heels should have won the tag titles just because "that's the hip way that all the kids are booking these days." Ron Harris with a belt would be a TRAVESTY.
As far as Wildcat and Storm being over -- I dunno, I've read on-site reports that claimed that the crowds there love them. And there were a bunch of Storm signs in the crowd. Despite having a fair amount of interview time, they still seem to me to lack personality in the ring -- maybe osme title defenses will help that.
I like Goldylocks, but I'm getting irritated by her complete no-selling of everyone she interviews. She could at least be a LITTLE intimidated by Lawler shouting in her face, couldn't she?
Maybe Bruce isn't "gay" or "gender confused" -- maybe he's just using the Miss TNA gimmick as an excuse to beat up women. Hmm...
I enjoyed the Killings / Lynn match, too. Killings' finisher is either not very good or he's doing it wrong. It needs some tweaking to look high-impact enough to be a finisher for the heavyweight champion, IMO.
I like B.G. James (Road Dogg), I like Hall and Disco and I liked Marcus Bagwell. They don't have tons of workrate, no. But they entertain the hell out of me, and I'd rather watch Hall/somebody and be entertained than Low-Ki/Styles and be bored out of my freakin' mind by both men's lack of character and willingness to no-sell their opponents moveset in order to get their next big move in. Workrate's a bit overrated in my book now, anyways. I like guys who can entertain me, it's not so important if they can have a good match everytime out, because lots of people do without entertaining.
Onwards and forwards. I liked the show, the things that weren't supposed to be funny were for me (although I didn't watch the Dustin Diamong thing play out), and I actually LIKED the battle royal. Y'know, until Bagwell, Pac, Hall and James got eliminated. Then I was just praying for Wildcat to pull that one out.
James Storm. I like this guy, he's got charisma and mic skills and he can wrestle. WWE, look at this guy.
Styles heel persona is laughable. That and it's almost like he's doing a Matt Hardy impersonation from three years ago. Don't let this tool NEAR a mic, please. Worst promo EVER.
Main event was better than I expected. Thought Lynn's blading was a bit excessive, and considering no foreign objects BUT the announce desk were used I didn't see the point. But, still a good match. Only thing missing from that match, hell, from the entire federation is submission holds.
Oh, well. With the reintroduction of Hall, and the entertainment value, I'll probably give it another chance, again.
Originally posted by WhoBettahThanDeionWorkrate's a bit overrated in my book now, anyways. I like guys who can entertain me, it's not so important if they can have a good match everytime out, because lots of people do without entertaining.
See I totally agree with you there. I still think Rock/Hogan is by far the WWE match of the year simply because of the crowd reaction and the participants' ability to evoke and milk such a reaction. As long as a guy is entertaining in the ring, as long as he keeps your interest, I don't think it matters if he is caught on camera calling a spot, flubbing a springboard moonsault, or applying a crappy version of a sharpshooter.
Anyway, NWA! I came into this thinking it was really going to suck. I mean, come on: Buff! X Pac! Road Dogg! Hermie Sadler! And... SCREECH! Oh my God, on paper it's like they WANT to lose piles of money!
Why did I order? I don't know, I always order. I guess because I'm so sick of the WWE and would really like an alternative that I don't have to order tapes for. Ordering tapes is such a pain in the ass, and much more expensive then just plunking down ten bucks and pushing buttons on your remote.
So THEN it turns out Low Ki isn't there, my favorite guy. At this point the show is almost guaranteed to blow. But then comes Kash/Styles, which I thoroughly enjoyed. This is perhaps the first X-Division match with no blown spots. The guys were machines. Yes the selling sucked, and I guess there was no "psychology" (I think I'm too dumb to discern psychology in most matches though, so who knows) but I enjoyed it thoroughly. In my opinion it was not the one star affair that Scott "Everyone should be Flair but they all suck so I'll bitch in every column" Keith said it was. This was entertaining.
But then there was a whole load of crap, nothing too offensive or anything, but when I pay 10 dollars I do NOT want to see Screech do anything except get his ass whooped in 5 seconds so we can watch something entertaining. The Rumble was boring... The push of Harris/Lee boggles the mind. Their gimmick? "Two big dudes who are kinda mean". They're HOSSES! JR must be saying "Ah can't believe we released those STUDS! They can GO!" Meanwhile the SAT, who are much more over, get completely punked out and treated like the bushwhackers for god's sake. I was positive that Hall and Pac would be winners or runners-up.
The main event: I like Lynn. I like Killings. But Killings just can't seem to get it going in the ring, even when he's working with one of the company's best wrestlers. I love Killings on the mic, but god damn he is boring as hell in the ring.
So NWA this week was actually better than I expected, in that it was boring and at times slightly sucky, but not a brutal embarassment of a travesty. I liked Kash/Styles, I liked the tag three way because I love seeing new talent. I've heard about CM Punk but I've never seen him, and that is a huge plus for me. NWA can deliver new guys every week and if they turn out to kick ass, the NWA can keep them.
Anyway. I guess I'd give this show a 5 out of ten, and I'll still order again. I mean.. it's not THAT bad!
I was looking through a behind the scenes Spiderman book last night and I had a thought: if Macho Man does well in the movie, which is almost guaranteed to be a massive success, do you think it's beyond Vince to bring him in for a feud with Hogan?