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26.11.14 0209
The W - Pro Wrestling - TNA Injur-iffic!
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Fantomas
Polska kielbasa








Since: 23.2.02
From: New York

Since last post: 4427 days
Last activity: 3023 days
#1 Posted on
I feel like that knight in Indiana Jones and the last crusade, I'm covered in dust alone watching TNA while the rest of the world has long abandoned it. Even the Torch doesn't have a recap up yet. Well, allow me to let you know what happened on what was an absolutely insane night of TNA, a fascinating train wreck of a show which gave me my ten dollars worth 2 times over.

First off was the six man WWF midcard match. It was: Truth/Jarret/Grandmaster SexAY vs Syxx Pac/Road Dogg/... and Mr Perfect~!! as the surprise mystery dude.

Solid match. Truth still kind of off in the ring, is now over as a heel though. Another very loud "Over-rated" chant directed at him. Truly the smarks have flocked to Nashville. Christopher overacted again and drew HUGE heel heat, the "Jerry's kid" chants were absolutely unrelenting. B G James (Road Dogg) and Mr Perfect both sported huge guts, a sight to behold, especially seeing as Perfect used that gut to pin Truth to pick up the win after another run-in by the White Hooded Sweatshirt man.

The Man, whom many suspected of being a Klan type guy, had "Mr Wrestling III" printed on the back of his shirt. Tenay went apesh*t, telling us that Mr Wrestling I and II were two of the best masked wrestlers in wrestling history, along with The Destroyer and Mil Mascaras. I have heard the "Mr Wrestling" named bandied about a couple times, but I am ashamed to admit I know nothing about them. My wrestling knowledge is surpassed by many, I know. The question in my mind is... Who's actually under the hood? Whoever it is is pretty chubby.

Next up... OK. Siaki and Lynn are building a feud. Tonight's main event is Lynn/Styles in a ladder match for the X-Title. So next we have a segment where Lynn cuts a promo and Siaki comes down and they brawl. Siaki tosses Lynn off the ramp, and lynn somehow gets his leg caught in the railing and screams "F*CK!" and "SH*T!" and "OH NOT AGAIN!" and Siaki looks at him like "Oh sh*t". Lynn was obviously legitimately injured, apparently re-injuring the knee he hurt in WWF a year or two ago. The show came to a screeching halt as legit paramedics took their sweet-ass time getting to Lynn and eventually extracted him out of the arena. About 7 minutes of utter confusion on TNA's part, finally cutting to a pre-taped promo between Syxx Pac and Low Ki making friends, and then AJ being a jerkoff.

EDIT: The torch guy says this is an angle. Oh Fantomas, you mark!

Then came the 4 way match: Low Ki vs Kid Kash vs Tony Marmaluke vs Ace Steele. OK match, Ki has a "sore ankle" and apparently they had Ace work it over for some reason. The finish was messed up, as this was an iron man match where the man with the most pinfalls/submissions won. The clock ticked down and Ace was supposed to pin Low Ki via cheatery by Mortimer Plumtree, but the setup took too long so the ref did a fast count AFTER the time expired. Crowd confused, participants confused, but Ace Steele was announced as the victor.

Speaking of Steele, i have heard about him but never seen him. He was sloppy, botched a few spots, really nothing to write home about except he has great facial expressions and a nice "psycho" look to him. Marmaluke was OK, I always liked that guy in ECW, he mostly bumped and either sold a shoulder injury really well... Or hurt his shoulder really bad.

Then came the tag match: AMW vs the SATs. Good match, both teams very over. SATs are VERY sloppy but make up for it with their innovative spots. I mean, a Moonsault/Neckbreaker combintion move?? Every week the SAT bust out something new. Storm and Harris are very solid, I think they make great tag champs. I'm really getting a kick out of Storm.

Then came an embarassed CHRIS ROCK!!! He came out and said basically "TNA RULZZZZ" and the crowd went apeshit and then he left.

Then came... ugghhh... Hermie frickin sadler. Bruce came out and cut a weak promo, then jarret came out and pretty much did bruce's job for him and showed bruce how to cut an impactful heel promo. Ended in pointless stupid brawling, I hate this because I think NASCAR, Hermie and Bruce's mic skills all suck.

At this point I had to use the facilities.. Lucky for me, the next match was Ron Harris/Siaki vs two indy guys with the last name Michaels. Note that Siaki isn't getting much of a reaction despite being pushed like crazy. Also note that TNA seems to think we're paying to see Ron Harris - SUPERDUDE! The indy guys didn't do anything to impress, from the few moments i saw.

OK. Now: Low Ki has wrestled once tonight. He is nursing a very sore ankle. Two weeks ago he was dropped to THE BOTTOM OF THE X TITLE RANKINGS. Bill Behrens, the commish, comes out. He says Lynn is hurt and we need to figure out who will wrestle Styles in the ladder match X Title match tonight. Who comes out? Low Ki. WTF?!? Then Ace Steele. They both want a shot.


I should note in my home people were talking about grading tests and how george bush used insidious arguments in his face promo against saddam last night, and I missed some of what happens next.

EDIT: I missed much of this next segment. Here's what the torch recapper said about this match:

(5) Lo-Ki defeated Ace Steel by reverse decision DQ. Steel jumps on Lo-Ki's injured ankle to start the match and chucks him outside the ring. Plumtree then drills Lo with a chair on his ankle leading to a countout win for Steel. It's then announced that Lo wins the match by DQ. Armstrong then goes in the ring and announces the division has been nothing but a headache for him and that all the X division wrestlers in the back can come out and wrestle Styles in the ladder match. Lo-Ki will not compete due to his ankle injury.

I was under the impression Ki was injured legit. Apparently I am a big mark. The torch recapper also gave the impression that the lynn "injury" was also an angle. I'd imagine the torch guy knows a heck of a lot better than i do. This is what I get for trying to do a recap. I may have to change my name.

So Behrens, flustered but ready, gets in the ring again and says: "OK... Well. Tell you what, we're going old school. Anyone who wants a shot at the X Title, get in the ring right now and wrestle AJ Styles in the ladder match!" No sh*t!

So the main event: Aj Styles vs The SAT vs Marmaluke vs Kid Kash vs Ace Steele vs a sneaky Syxx Pac.

What follows is the most enjoyable clusterf*ck since Sabu vs Malice. Guys just doing anything they can think of off the ladder, ladder to the groin, moonsaults off the ladder, spanish fly off the ladder, anything off the ladder. The winner was Syxx Pac, who just ran down the ramp and stole the title like a dickhead. next week will be Syxx Pac vs AJ.. in a ladder match. That's about 20000 ladder matches on 16 PPVs, by my count.

So there you go. Total fricking insanity, very enjoyable. People were talking when Low Ki went down, so I'm not sure if he was hurt bad or how it happened. So check a real report by a real recapper and they can give you the lowdown on the Ki thing, maybe he wasn't hurt legit. Still, this show was truly a jewel of chaos.

(edited by Fantomas on 9.10.02 2038)
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It's False
Scrapple








Since: 20.6.02
From: I am the Tag Team Champions!

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 13 hours
#2 Posted on
Holy crap! There's a Mr. Wrestling III? That's KICK ASS! America's answer to the Villanos.




"That's right! You suckas better FIND somewhere to run! 'cause it's me - Booker T - not only am I the Scorpion King, but I'm the five-time WCW Champion - and I got a sword, too! Now can U dig THAT - SUCKAAAAAS"
spf
Scrapple








Since: 2.1.02
From: The Las Vegas of Canada

Since last post: 23 days
Last activity: 1 day
AIM:  
#3 Posted on
Fantomas is quite correct in his assessment. Not a great show, but a deliriously fun show to watch due to a insane level of chaos and lunacy. Everyone involved obviously has no regard for their well being or long-term future, so they're going 5000 MPH, and letting crispness be damned. It's not Benoit vs. Angle, but it is fun to watch once a week, and the insanity held up even in the face of the TLC V match on Raw this week.



Let Cincy have Jauron:
Green Bay34, Chicago 21
Bears go to 2-3 (bye week, thank God)

It's False
Scrapple








Since: 20.6.02
From: I am the Tag Team Champions!

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 13 hours
#4 Posted on

    Originally posted by Fantomas
    EDIT: The torch guy says this is an angle. Oh Fantomas, you mark!

What's that Vince Russo philosophy?

"The entire show you're watching is a work...except what you're watching right now, which is a SHOOT!"

So to make it look like more of a shoot, we have cameras farting around for 7 minutes acting like this is a SHOOT, BABY!!

SMELL THE BUYRATE!!




"That's right! You suckas better FIND somewhere to run! 'cause it's me - Booker T - not only am I the Scorpion King, but I'm the five-time WCW Champion - and I got a sword, too! Now can U dig THAT - SUCKAAAAAS"
BigDaddyLoco
Scrapple








Since: 2.1.02

Since last post: 6 hours
Last activity: 6 hours
#5 Posted on

    The winner was Syxx Pac, who just ran down the ramp and stole the title like a dickhead.


That's a really good line. That is SO fucking X-Pac



Torchslasher
Knackwurst








Since: 17.1.02
From: New F'n Jersey

Since last post: 25 days
Last activity: 5 days
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.44
This was definitely a train-wreck show, and I fear for the lives of all the NWA:TNA wrestlers. I'm pretty sure the Jarretts didn't give anyone a downside guarantee, so they are all INSANE for risking their lives.

The crowd last night was a weird bunch. They were hot for tons of stuff, but wouldn't pop for the usual spots like the hot tag. They seemed like a Raw crowd from 1999, only popping for entrances, interviews, and the ends to the matches. They lapped up Chris Rock with a spoon and asked for seconds.

I wouldn't call it a great show, because of the bad booking and obvious disregard for the sanctity of human life. Am I glad I ordered the show this week? YOU DAMN RIGHT (even if that bastard Syxx-Pac did ruin the match by winning the X-title).



"Oh would you stop being all stealthy and just get in the truck"- Tom Servo
mountinman44
Sujuk








Since: 8.5.02
From: San Diego, CA

Since last post: 1285 days
Last activity: 1131 days
Y!:
#7 Posted on

    Originally posted by BigDaddyLoco

      The winner was Syxx Pac, who just ran down the ramp and stole the title like a dickhead.


    That's a really good line. That is SO fucking X-Pac



And, God, if a fat Curt Hennig doesn't scream MONEY!!!



"Don't feel bad. I've been wrestling wolves since you were on your mother's teet!" -- Groundskeeper Willie
Fantomas
Polska kielbasa








Since: 23.2.02
From: New York

Since last post: 4427 days
Last activity: 3023 days
#8 Posted on

    Originally posted by spf2119
    Fantomas is quite correct in his assessment. Not a great show, but a deliriously fun show to watch due to a insane level of chaos and lunacy. Everyone involved obviously has no regard for their well being or long-term future, so they're going 5000 MPH, and letting crispness be damned. It's not Benoit vs. Angle, but it is fun to watch once a week, and the insanity held up even in the face of the TLC V match on Raw this week.


I'd say this holds up against the raw roulette tlc fairly well, but mostly because that TLC match had a lot of spots they've done in previous TLCs, and not much new. The TNA match had alot of new moves, like the SAT ladder sandwich in the corner and the one man spanish fly off the ladder. Funny - The TLC match was won by kane and the ladder match was won by the guy who stole Kane's mask. Too bad x pac can't still carry it around.

Big Daddy, yeah i was also kind of put off by what x pac did. he's supposed to be a face and AJ the heel, why have x pac get a cheap win like that?

And it's false, I have re-learned the Russo Rule, I had forgotten about the lame art of the worked shoot.

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What the hell does everyone see in Ziggler? He sounds like a 12 year old boy, looks like everyone else in the E, has the worst name in the business, and is ripping off an angle that is less than 2 years old.
- Scottyflamingo, RAW #922 1/24/11 (2011)
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