Ahh Tivo the magical device that allows me to actually do these also keeps me two weeks behind:
-Opening with about 8 minutes of Jim Cornette on the mic. In the last couple years, I’ve seen him make me an audience care about old man Heenan. I’ve seen him make a 2005 Thunderfeet turn seem compelling. I’ve seen him make Percy Pringle seem compelling. He’s just fun to listen to. I did get worried when he started challenging the uppity minorities as I know where that can lead. But still he’s a guy who knows how to pull off strong authority figure without making wrestlers look weak.
-Jeff Jarrett’s absurd aqua blue sweats.
-Ok at this point I don’t give a rat's ass about the James Gang vs. the Dudleys but if anyone can make me care about this angle its Bullet Bob and Matt Hyson. I mean I imagine the mat work in Runt vs, Badstreet would be awesome. But to make me care about the angle the people I need are Bullet and Hyson. Looks like they’re setting that up. And well Homicide and Killings trained together under Manny Fernandez, I know they’ve worked opposite each other for Galaxy or USA Pro or some other fed. I’ve never seen the match but it feels like it could be a good match up. So this show set up some matches I’d like to see. How they set those matches up is below.
WHAT DIDN’T WORK:
-Slick Johnson as a ref. Slick Johnson as a wrestling "personality".
-GAWD what’s the backstage drug deal with this promotion? It looks like Christy Hemme held up a truckstop and stole everyone’s uppers. I mean she looks coked out of her gourd on a regular week but HOLY SHIT she looked like she was trying to see through walls. She couldn’t stop twitching. Meanwhile, all the wrestlers looked completely sluggish and burned out. She needs to share some of her cocktail with the wrestlers…as they were deep into the downers. . I was amused that the booking committee decided to give AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels a fag hag for a second but still… the opening tag was really disappointing. Just sluggish and disjointed. All the double teams seemed off. And like all the wrestling on this episode it just felt like they were walking through the match. The Dudleys vs.James Boys exchanges weren’t really a match but they were equally sluggish…and the main event also seemed like it was done as loose and uncommitted as possible. They cut away for a commercial during the Samoa Joe vs. Low-Ki strike exchange but show me all the Sonjay Dutt punches??? Who is editing this? I don’t know if one chair shot should be putting down Joe that way…but whatever the match stunk. Nasty double stomp finish…but yeah..
-The return of your JEREMY BORASH TANNING WATCH: Holy Fuck JB has reddish orange highlights/frosting on top of his hair that perfectly matches his tan. Yeah that’s right his hair and face were the same color of orange. AArgh the backstage stuff was painful. Why am I watching Borash anyway? They have Cornette. Cornette can speak, don’t put him behind closed door. What the fuck did Sting say? What the fuck was that Sabin/Lethal handshake snap thing? I mean there have to be some Christopher Reid videos on youtube…learn to shake hands. Are they working a Jeremy Borash helps Eric Young turn face by coming out of the closet angle??? I mean that’s pretty progressive, but it feels like that may not have been the booking teams idea. You just put Borash in the scene and it comes across that way:
“Give it to me straight, Jeremy. I can take it Jeremy, you’ve got to give me something.” “You need to tell people about it Eric, you need to tell everyone. Tell it to the world, Eric.”
I guess that wasn’t as bad as the Dudleys, and James Gang doing snaps. As not sure who is a shittier television presence: Slick Johnson or Jeremy Borash. And damn those were some shitty snaps. Plus its 2006, who wears a X shirt? I mean I think I remember Kenny making that joke about Leonard’s mom in 93. People gave Kenny shit cause it was dated joke then. I was still in highschool when that snap was relevant. It’s 2006. Plus can someone explain whats up with the crowd reactions?? Two guys jone on each other’s moms and people start doing the robot in response?? Chris Sabin’s white stoner dork in a cypher’s hand motions were hysterical. At one point, I think he did a pirouette while throwing out his def poetry jam arm. Meanwhile Sonjay Dutt is doing the robot and Dvon is doing old school body waves. What the fuck??
-They should never have Jackie Gayda and a bulldog’s face in the same picture.
-WOW. Two episodes ago they put Konan on commentary and he was able to make the LAX take over the Spanish announcers table make sense… And then they go right back to nonsense. So its gone from Latinos as French separatists, to the whole“the immigration issue” where Mexicans and PUERTO RICANS were having a “day without immigrants” protest, to “we are treating you the way you treat us”, to Konan calling for “minority solidarity”…Konnan wants to recruit Monte Brown and Ron Killings for the Latin American Exchange???? “Latin American”!!! Is Monte Brown now Dominican? What happened to the immigration issue?? I thought that was supposed to be “political and topical at the same time”…Now they’ve just turned Konnan into a watered down version of Ron Killings from three/four years ago. Killings was really great in that role. Konnan can’t figure out what the hell he’s supposed to be doing in this angle. He does Spanish mic work about Latino Pride, while doing the “whiny minority”heel stuff in English. The whole thing just makes no sense. I would never advocate doing a Black vs. Latino feud. My work has me regularly struggling to defuse those tensions. And I remember being really concerned when the Kerwin White gimmick was introduced as it had potential to play into those tensions. While I would never advocate booking it, there are a million ways to set up a Black vs. Hispanic feud. A million. But booking it by having face blacks happily cultivating white patronage vs. heel angry Hispanics demanding better treatment??? Who came up with this? Blacks as model minority vs. uppity immigrants? Really? Is that White America’s current view of minorities? Either we live in strange times or the TNA bookers are idiots.
I was so ready to throw in the towel. Giving the IC title to the black hole of charisma that is Miz. Then Enzo and Cass debuted and after four months they finally put an amazing main event that was hot and meant something. Now, where we go from here.