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29.7.14 0950
The W - Pro Wrestling - TNA IMPACT Workrate REPORT Episode #26
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tomk
Goetta








Since: 30.7.02

Since last post: 2595 days
Last activity: 946 days
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.55
This is a weird, weird show as really nothing particularly good on it but paced in a way that I enjoyed this episode of Impact more than Iíve enjoyed an Impact in ages.

WHAT WORKED:

The mic work setting up the PPV was pretty much universally good. Sabu is a guy who spent most of last decade protecting himself and avoiding jobs and itís just weird watching him in TNA where he jobs all the time. Iím having a hard time remembering his last TNA win. Still he maintains his aura. I remember really liking Samoa Joe vs. Jay Briscoe in a cage. For a guy with some nice mat work who blows spots, Sabu is better than Briscoe and Iím kind of interested in this match. The mic work and video package heating this up was nice too. Stingís mic work heating up the Wargames match was good too. Weapons hanging from cage is really sissy and feels too Ravenís House of Fun-ish and well they no longer have Dusty and I donít trust that the TNA bookers have any understanding of how to properly put together a Wargames match but the mic work was good. And well Bullet Bob Armstrong is amazing as he actually is able to get over an arm wrestling match as being something savage. I mean you tried to break my leg so I challenge you to an arm wrestling match? That makes no sense. But Bob makes an arm wrestling match sound like a street fight or a strap match. I mean itís an arm wrestling match and Bob made me think it will have Big Al vs. Tank level out of control violence.

ITíS SQUASH TIME!!! Scott Steiner and Jarrett vs. Naturals was a two on two squash instead of a two on one squash. And I was kind of afraid that Scott Steiner was going to need handicap squashes in order to get his character over. The violence in it seemed really violent but was actually pretty safe. As all the chairshot stuff seemed controlled. Naturals still buried but not buried and carelessly hurt. Andy Douglas is stretchered and taken to the back. Will Chase Stevens track down Cassidey OíReilly to help him exact revenge? ďIím coming to you because I thought it was time to go back to my roots. Man they hurt my partner. I want you to put away your torn off jeans and comic book Tshirt and get out the athletic sock.. Its time for the Hot Shots to come back and wreck havoc.Ē. Unfortunately thatís not going to happen. This was better of two squashes on todayís show.

You know Iíve had very few good things to say about the Sinister Minister. But I actually really dug his stuff with Christianís wife. I donít buy James Mitchell as a baroque Satanist, but he is believable as a creepy rapist. I guess with the ďThree Furies of The Six Sides of Steel" stealing all of Mitchellís shtick, he had to try something new. Rapist is good gimmick for him. Mitchell confronts Christianís wife at a tanning salon and shocked that he didnít show her naked pictures of himself on his cell phone. On one level you watch that scene and keep on expecting that and well part of me thinks it's smart not to do it. As thatís kind of shoot thing that would feel like your booking exclusively to internet fans. On the other hand it comes across really almost pussy not to do itÖlike youíre afraid of pissing off Vince. It would make sense in the context of the scene and would be genuinely creepy thing for Mitchell to do. It would have the ďooh!! thatís shooty tastelessĒ feel without having it be a comedy punchline. Not doing it was on some level more jarring than doing it would have been. Watch the scene and go ďwhy didnít they?Ē Still liked the whole piece and actual nice use of Mitchell.

Don West rules! West explains that the TNA cage has no give "because of the hexagon construction there is no tautness". That kind of bullshit science with a straight face is what good wrestling announcing is all about.

WHAT DIDNíT WORK:

The non-Bullet sections of the James Gang vs. LAX mic work stank. I mean Konan was a short term lucha draw at one point but calling himself a Capo? Capos are long time draws. I mean they all work circles around Konan. Just ridiculous of him to call himself a Capo. Jeremy Borash canít stop blushing and giggling at the mention of Medieval manhood. Oh he blushes and giggles and giggles. Is Shane Douglas out of rehab yet? Terry Taylor followed orders and didn't work for the MTV show!!!! C'mon Goldilocks is still available!! Bonnie Blackstone, Post-Teen Beat with Brandon Baxter! What's Charlie Platt up to these days? What's Rob Bartlet up to these days? Just get Jeremy Borash off my TV screen!!

Speaking of shitty back stage stuff with Jeremy BorashÖItís bad enough that I have to watch Damore acting tough chatting up Zbysco, I also have to watch Slick Johnson. I mean I thought Slick Johnson was bad enough in the ring. Watching this scene made me long for the acting stylings of Jackie Gayda.

So after weeks of awful unwatchable three-way dances TNA goes back to the six man match format. Smart as this did a much better job hiding the X-Division guysí weaknesses. Diamonds in the Rough are good, have nice double teams and David Young still has a beautiful spinebuster. Someone keeps letting Dutt have punching sections in his matches and Lethal and Dutt blow their double in ring dive and well this was short and not too good.

I mean that at least was competitive. But itís TNA and soÖITíS SQUASH TIME!!! Scott Steiner and Jarrett vs. Naturals was a two on two squash instead of a two on one squash. And I was kind of afraid that Scott Steiner was going to need handicap squashes inorder to get his character over. The violence in it seemed really violent but was actually pretty safe. As all the chairshot stuff seemed controlled. Naturals still buried but not buried and carelessly hurt. Andy Douglas is stretchered and taken to the back. Will Chase Stevens track down Cassidey OíReilly to help him exact revenge? ďIím coming to you because I thought it was time to go back to my roots. Man they hurt my partner. I want you to put away your torn off jeans and comic book Tshirt and get out the athletic sock.. Its time for the Hot Shots to come back and wreck havoc.Ē. Unfortunately thatís not going to happen. This was better of two squashes on todayís show. The lesser squash was the cage one. I donít really get why you have the Dudleys squash the good Canadian team and then get beat down by the shitty Canadian team. I mean Young and Roode get no offense, while A1 and Williams do a post match beat down. The table spot stank and buried in Canadian flags??? Sheesh. Really show with two squashes of better teams in TNA. Not really smart.

WHAT THE HELL!!! Ok I thought TNA employing some fake griot to sell their PPVís was ridiculous. But the griot is nothing, nothing when compared to the PPV using the three witches from Macbeth...

ďBoil, boil, toil and troubleÖthe six sides of steel is an edifice of horror, a diabolical cauldron of sufferingÖit heeds only the specter of truculence and painÖ.If it had the gift of speech it would say ďGO AWAYĒÖashes, ashes, we all fall downĒ..

I couldnít stop laughing. I was waiting for Kevin Sorbo to attack the Six Sided steel monster. This was ďSPIN THE WHEEL, MAKE THE DEAL ď promo funny. May have been funnier than that. Really not a lot of stuff from Impact has made the permanent tape. I mean this was funny enough that I thought about putting it on the top side as I canít remember the last time something in wrestling made me laugh this hard. But the point of the promo was to make the cage seem dangerous, not to make the promotion look ridiculous. So it failed. Still it made the permanent tape, and I imagine Iíll be watching that promo again and again.
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BigDaddyLoco
Scrapple








Since: 2.1.02

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#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.73

    Don West rules! West explains that the TNA cage has no give "because of the hexagon construction there is no tautness". That kind of bullshit science with a straight face is what good wrestling announcing is all about.



There's really not enough of that bullshit science anymore.

(edited by BigDaddyLoco on 29.3.06 0832)
Matt Tracker
Scrapple








Since: 8.5.03
From: North Carolina

Since last post: 7 days
Last activity: 7 hours
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.36
A very weak show as they (hopefully) plan to push it when WM is over. I'm not impressed with the weekly offerings lately.

Unless Sting can add a loser-leaves-town stipulation to the Jarrett match, all his talk of removing the cancer means nothing. But it would be intriguing from a booking angle: Who emerges if Jeff is gone? Mitchell? D'Amore? Is there any other main-event heel who can talk AND wrestle on this show besides Jeff? If not, they gotta turn Christian.

Oh, and back to Sting, his suggestion of calling in his "army" suggests more WCW folks, but there's not many main eventers from those last days who are neither
a) too old [DDP, Nash, Vader]; or
b) in the WWE [Booker, Dusty, Rey, Benoit, Malenko].

He can't mean Goldberg. No way is he playing to that audience.

The rest of the show is uninspiring. James chasing Christian's wife is too soon after Shelley chased Sting's family. Team 3D now seems to be treading water until the WWE brings them back up with the other rumored hires. No one has yet emerged to replace Samoa Joe in the X Division; Lethal is stuck in multi-man matches, Sabin has already been there, Bentley is a random presence ...

I'm just not feeling where they're headed. And I worry that, like WCW, the PPVs will jumpstart new angles (with WCW refugees) instead of those shows resolving existing ones.



"To be the man, you gotta beat demands." -- The Lovely Mrs. Tracker

My blog will amuse. (heygregory.blogspot.com)
sentonBOMB
Frankfurter








Since: 25.11.02
From: Jersey

Since last post: 1888 days
Last activity: 588 days
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.41
    Originally posted by Matt Tracker
    James chasing Christian's wife is too soon after Shelley chased Sting's family.


I really hate when they bring people's wives and families into wrestling angles. Especially guys who have "cool" or "badass" personas. Sting was one thing; he's kind of an old guy who isn't too intimidating. Rey Mysterio is another thing; he's a small guy, and was talking about Eddie being family anyway, so it wasn't much of a stretch.

But Christian? If I'm a Christian fan, I want to believe he is going out and banging hot chicks. I want to believe he is a partier, and does things that are cooler than the things that I do. He is Captain Charisma. He talks in fake ghetto-speak. He should not be in an angle where creepy guys are stalking his wife. His family should not be his weakness.

This reminds me of how I felt when DDP was stalking the Undertaker's wife. The Undertaker should not have a wife. The Undertaker is the fucking undead creature from beyond. He makes his eyes roll up into his head. He comes back from being burned alive. How do you logically make an angle where someone tries to get to him by getting to his family? That is a weakness that it just doesn't make sense for his character to have. That is how I feel about Christian right now, though to a bit lesser extent since he isn't the fucking undead creature from beyond.
CRZ
Big Brother
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Since: 9.12.01
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#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.89
    Originally posted by tomk
    Mitchell confronts Christianís wife at a tanning salon and shocked that he didnít show her naked pictures of himself on his cell phone. On one level you watch that scene and keep on expecting that and well part of me thinks it's smart not to do it. As thatís kind of shoot thing that would feel like your booking exclusively to internet fans. On the other hand it comes across really almost pussy not to do itÖlike youíre afraid of pissing off Vince. It would make sense in the context of the scene and would be genuinely creepy thing for Mitchell to do. It would have the ďooh!! thatís shooty tastelessĒ feel without having it be a comedy punchline. Not doing it was on some level more jarring than doing it would have been. Watch the scene and go ďwhy didnít they?Ē
I'm not only glad that I think the same things as you, but I'm especially glad that you enable my laziness by saying these things so I don't have to.



©CRZô
tomk
Goetta








Since: 30.7.02

Since last post: 2595 days
Last activity: 946 days
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.55
Hey I write so other people don't have to...

Sting's "army" I assume will be the same set of ex- WWE guys who've essentially played the Sting Squadron role in TNA since he's been there.

Dudleys, Rhino, maybe Killings, maybe a "shocking" face turn by Brown. But essentially Rhino and Dudleys.

Cerebus
Knackwurst








Since: 17.11.02

Since last post: 10 hours
Last activity: 8 hours
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 0.97
You mean to tell me you DON'T think they'll bring in Lex Luger? I thought it was almost a given with the line Sting had about being able to call friends of his own was kinda telling.

I have to admit that I think they're building LOCKDOWN better then the WWE is building WRESTLEMANIA.
oldschoolhero
Knackwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: nWo Country

Since last post: 1901 days
Last activity: 1835 days
#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.80
As hilarious as that Lockdown promo is, TNA ain't the first to use that voice-over. The then-WWF had the exact same set-up for the Unforgiven 99 ads, talkng about "knights" and "warriors" and all sortsa medieval crap.



To those who say people wouldn't look; they wouldn't be interested; they're too complacent, indifferent and insulated, I can only reply: There is, in one reporter's opinion, considerable evidence against that contention. But even if they are right, what have they got to lose? Because if they are right, and this instrument is good for nothing but to entertain, amuse and insulate, then the tube is flickering now and we will soon see that the whole struggle is lost. This instrument can teach, it can illuminate; yes, and it can even inspire. But it can do so only to the extent that humans are determined to use it to those ends. Otherwise it is merely wires, and lights, in a box.-Edward R. Murrow
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Related threads: TNA IMPACT WORKRATE Report Episode #25 - TNA IMPACT Workrate Report Episode #24 - TNA IMPACT Workrate Report Episode #23 - More...
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