~Jeff Jarret’s shirt- is that Hypercolor? For real? Hypercolor. Jeff Jarrett has the greatest heel fashion sense today.
~AMW vs. Team 3D—On some level this was disappointing. Watching 3D vs. FBI in Wrestle One and vs. AMW here I realized that The Dudleys Doomsday device is shitty. Not as good as Animal and Chris Hemme’s. I’m not sure if AMW have figured out the timing of working heel yet either. As it might have been better idea to have Naturals turn heel with Jarrett as they have the timing for heel cut offs better. AMW didn’t seem to have that same grasp on how to cheat to transition. Still enjoyed the Bubba sections opposite James Storm as those two guys are in top five workers in this fed and imagine a singles match could be good and think this match given time on a PPV could be really good. But this was very much their TV match and not their PPV match, so couldn’t help but feel disappointed.
~ERIC YOUNG~!!!- This was a one man show . I mean its 3LK: the best part of Konnan’s offense is his comedy spot, Ron Killings offense consists of every move being set up by a breakdance spot, and BG James’offense consists of white man’s Emaneul Burton dancing into throwing punches (well except the punches don’t end up coming from different angles as result of dancing so…) And not like A1 or Roode bring a ton to the table. BG James works as face in peril in early portions of this and then pretty much Eric Young carries the rest of the match with his endless series of Terry Funk goofball bumping around and nuthouse selling. This was a one man show.
WHAT DIDN’T WORK:
~So every show is going to have a shitty three way dance. This was better than last weeks. Hey Austin Aries is on primetime cable. I pimped Austin Aries as young one to watch back in 2002( http://www.deathvalleydriver.com/dvdvr/dvdvr134.html) and there is something really neat about him now being on primetime TV. Michael Shane’s hair is RidicULOUS! But this stays down here.
~Abyss vs. Sonny Siaki- This match stank. Ok I think I'm slowly coming around as I'm actually kind of amused by the concept of the Monster’s Ball match: "all four competitors will be locked away in separate areas for 24 hours prior to the bout – no food, no water, no light. When the doors are finally unlocked and the combatants let loose, they will be extremely angry, irritable and out for blood" . This fed has no actual live paying customers and even if I lived in Orlando you couldn't get me to pay to watch this feds wrestling. But I could see paying to go see the sideshow tent where they have four men locked away with no light, no water, and no food. I would pay to get to peak in the Carny tent that had Abyss shaking in his David Blaine box.
I don't know enough about Florida geography to know where Orlando is vis-a-vis Ward Hall, but I bet if they put some work into this attraction they could find an old hand at the Midway who'd be able to work with Don West and Tenay to improve their pitchman/proffesor raport.
So the concept of the Monster's Ball is begining to grow on me, but this match still stunk. Maybe it would have been better if these two were suffering from dehydration.
~I love me some Mike Tenay quizzical facial expressions. Mike Tenay making faces to act out “THOUGHT” is one of the funniest things in wrestling. That said the whole Tito Ortiz, Nash, Jarrett face off was pretty awful. Last episode I talked about the endless blur of background music. Here they continued to play it over early portions of the mic work and well this whole thing was just bad. I remember back in the day when XPW was about to start up Bob Barnett announced on RSPW that Rob Black was going to start up an indy and was going to bring in Tito Ortiz. I remember being pretty excited at the time. Figured porn company involved in wrestling promised good production values. I figured one of the big problems with wrestling is promoters constantly teasing stuff and never delivering it. I knew Black was guy who would deliver money shot. I figured he wouldn’t just cock tease, he’d deliver. He might then proceed to take out speculum and vomit in the cooter.But I don't know what that would mean metaphorically in the context of wrestling match. You add Tito Ortiz to that mix and well I was excited about this new start up indy. Well XPW is dead and the dream of Tito Ortiz in an indy money marked by clown rape videos is dead with it. Instead he’s reffing a Nash vs. Jarrett match money marked by an energy company. And this whole segment was just boring and poorly done in a way that Rob Black would have never allowed. I mean I guess this segment made more sense then White Trash Johnny Web arguing with a black santa doll but it wasn’t layed out as well.
I figure it'll be called "36 Chicks I'd Like to Boink". But, if'n the bugger got a good ghostwriter (or can write good hisself), it might not suck. But then again, it might. And, I like stating the obvious.