Aw this had everything you need. I wrote before about the Jarrett attacking face before ring bell spot “For Jarrett's formula to really work he really needs to be matched up against a technical wrestler in a ring jacket that way they can do the whole face attacked mid removing ring jacket spot.” Replace ring jacket with elaborate dancing ring entrance that involves crawling and its just as good. Andy Douglas and Chris Harris do a bunch of fun avoiding getting thrown off entrance ramp spots that make me go “DAMN I want them to run a Naturals vs. AMW scaffold match” Unfortunately the camera men kind of blow this during the dive section as they make it clear that ramp is only three feet off ground. Chase Stevens is ridiculously jacked at this point and it changes the whole Naturals dynamic. Naturals used to be Douglas as the big man and Stevens as the smaller underdog worker…big bumper, etc. Now Stevens is actually working as power man of team with Douglas working quickness lanky underdog face. Was there ever a point where Davey got off the juice and the Bulldogs switched roles? Where Bret got so juiced up that Neidhart looked thin? Anyways both Naturals adjust to their new roles surprisingly well as really dug Stevens’s power game and Douglas threw a beautiful lanky agile guy’s high knee and had a neat quick babyface catches a low blow for reversal spot (which I can’t remember ever seeing before). The Naturals need to be given some wins but this was a good match and good finish. The visual of Jeff Hardy’s green paint on Jarrett at finish was cool too. Someone needs to show this match to the XLAW booker. Jeff Hardy v. Groon X "THESE COLORS DO RUN" would draw huge in Tijuana and the mixed pallette effect would be pretty neat. I imagine you could sell swatches of the ring mat too. This was match of the show.
Hey that was first one of these Rhino video packages that actually got him over as face who wants and deserves a title match and who I should care about in a title match.
So I had heard that Red was completely shot at this point. But haven't actually seen him myself in years. This was only three minute match but still made me want to see Joe vs. Red in longer match. As Red bumped like a freak for all of Joe’s offense and was still super fast with his face comeback stuff. Liked Joe never running the ropes for Red. Red had to hit all of his offense from standing position on standing opponent which made all Red’s spots built around launching from standing position seem cooler as they had a reason. I don’t know where I’d get to see a longer Red v Joe match as ROH won’t be running it…..maybe TNA can book Red/Mammoth Sasaki (Team Red Scare) vs. Joe/Lethal or something.
Roode looked really great in his match with Christian and this is the second of the Bobby Roode singles matches that I’ve really enjoyed on Impact. Roode took a really nice bump over ring stairs hit a sweet second rope knee drop, did nice job with the missed second rope knee drop, and ate the unprettier really nastily. Christian is guy who I’d been enjoying in WWE in last year as heel. He was really great on RAW where he worked Terry Funk 89 style one man shows bumping and schticking all over ring to get over weak RAW talent…and was fun on Smackdown where he worked the regular Benoit/Rey/Booker/JBL/OJ big guys doing X-division matches where he was allowed to show off some offense too. Here he took one nice bump and did nice job selling the arm… and am curious to see how he’s going to adjust to TNA. This match really really didn’t need all the extraneous stuff as the overbooking almost killed the match. A show with a good clean finish to a Jarrett match and crazy overbooked everyone runs in finish to a Christian main event??? What was point of all that?
What Didn’t Work:
Sinn and Helvis??? Where the Fuck is Slash? They brought back Slick Johnson but can’t bring back Slash? He was one of the few reasons to watch TNA. Is Dutch Mantell still on the booking committee? I figured he was gone. Originally Slash and the New Church (with Mitchell) were gotten rid of by Mantell because he pointed out that there were too many Satanic/anti-Christian factions in TNA (Sinn/Slash, the Gathering, Mitchell, Fallen Angel and his three minions, etc.) Booking logic would suggest overdoing anti-Christian stables kills their effectiveness. While Mantell makes a good point….its Wolfie D. We all know that turfing Wolfie D had nothing to do with booking logic. Wolfie D probably once sold Dutch crack cut with gout medicine and it gave Dutch a stroke. I could see holding a grudge. But I assume Dutch is gone at this point. They brought back Mitchell. Why not bring back Slash? Someone sell Dámore some bad nose candy?
“In wrestling 2005 will always be remembered for the emergence of the X Division.” Man that may be an even more damning Mike Tenay quote then “if Sabin does well in this match he could be ready to break out in the X Division”. Its been three, maybe four years now but 2005 is the “year of the emergence of the X Division”.
“Baroquely gruesome bloody chunks of flesh”….Bah? Goth poetry that shitty won’t even score you the fattest Dead Can Dance fan. I really don’t get the appeal of Mitchell. When Mitchell disappeared for a while and Slash and Cobain did their own mic work it so smoked Mitchell’s mic work. When TNA stopped using Mitchell and Slash, Meltzer was apoplectic complaining about how they were missing the boat on Mitchell and how great Mitchell was. Not a word about Wolfie D…but somehow the Sinister Minister was the great talent that TNA was making a mistake by not holding onto. Week after week Meltzer puts over how great Mitchell is on the mic…and I don’t see it. He doesn’t have the timing down right for his ringside interference so all that he has going is his look and mic skills. I’ve been watching Smackdown regularly and am pretty impressed with Marty Wright. He has really good intensity in his facials and great bass voice for his singing. Outside of the Rey/Eddie angle the Boogeyman’s bits are the only wrestling things that kids talk about. Does anyone think Mitchell is anywhere near as good as untrained Wright? Don’t get me wrong when WWE eventually releases Wright I don’t want to see TNA picking him up to work a jacked dark skinned Sinister Minister gimmick. Nope I don’t want to see that. He does have a nice bass singing voice is jacked and has good intensity…if they gave him some dental fronts I could see TNA giving Wright a Paul Robeson gimmick where he re-politicizes Killings. That could actually rule.I'd enjoy seeing that. Even if done poorly that would smoke this "baroquely gruesome chunks of flesh"stuff. Can someone buy Mitchell and Raven some better written comic books to rip off? Someone needs to tell them the Warren mags are remembered for the art and not the writting.
I think it's clear what Lance really needs. His own personal Al Snow. I figure the best thing for all concerned, and for wrestling in general is for him to give him a wacky pal and create . . . HEAD CHEESE 2003! C'mon now.