In the past month or so since our last TNA Impact recap, the Miracle duo has become a lot more interesting. Maria in particular has been a standout, as she successfully orchestrated the dissolution of the Dollhouse by tricking them into battling each other for a title-shot she gave up. Maria went on to help Jade defeat Gail Kim for the title, and then herself won a ladder match for control of the Knockouts division. Bennett has been holding his own while continuing to goad Ethan Carter. Last week he got Ethan to lose his cool, and picked up a DQ win over Ethan.
Elsewhere in the Heavyweight division, we've continued to see issues between Lashley/Ethan and Lashley/Galloway. Now that Lashley had his blowoff victory over The Pope, he will presumably face one of that babyface duo next.
Galloway and Jeff Hardy have been up against the Matthew Hardy Brand, and seem to have defeated Matthew once and for all. Tyrus, who has been hinting that he's an evil mastermind, is about to finally use his Bound for Gold titleshot he obtained in October against Galloway. Along the way one of the babyfaces fought Matthew at a show entitled “Revenge”, but I forget which one it was.
The Bro-Mans seem to have reunited, but there are indications that Drake might be plotting to have them soften up Eric Young, so he can use his Television Title-shot against a softened up EY. If my theory is true, then Jessie Godderz might still be loyal to Drake.
Grado and Mahabali Shera have been feuding with heel Al Snow, for no adequately justified reason. The fans have thus been siding with Snow.
In the cursed tag title division, Decay kidnapped Gail Kim and refused to free her until Beer Money gave them a titleshot. Which Beer Money of course did, because even Burned Out Bobby Roode is still Mr. 200% pure babyface.
And that brings us to this week.
Show begins with a graphic honoring Chyna. Unfortunately, no clip of her brief TNA stint.
1. Bound for Gold Cash-in: TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Tyrus (w/Rockstar Spud) versus "Detective" Drew Galloway (c)
Interesting decision to have the world title match so early. Tyrus came across well, but despite injuring Galloway's ribs, the Detective was able to pull through.
Winner: and still world heavyweight champion, Drew Galloway.
Gail Kim accused Maria of being behind Rosemary kidnapping her. Maria hinted Gail was right, and booked them in a match. Way to go, magnificent villain Maria. I'm impressed at all of the machinations you have in motion.
2. Rosemary (w/ Crazzy Steve) versus "Superwoman" Gail Kim
Winner: Rosemary via the kryptonite mist and Maria interference
Eli Drake had the debut of his new interview show in the next segment: the Facts of Life. It features Drake on a podium, where he his a button that goes "Dummy, yeah". The announcers rag on Mr. Anderson, talking about how much better than his creepy one-episode "Huh?" show this is. We must give "Huh?" its due credit though, for its one episode managed to push Matt Hardy over the edge into becoming a heel and winning back the world title for the Matthew Hardy Brand of evil power rangers. Only time will tell if "Facts of Life" will have that much impact on plotlines.
The Bro-Mans are his first guests. The segment devolves into Robbie E. and Eli Drake having a tug of war over who gets to have a bromance with Jessie Godderz. Robbie prevails. I guess Jessie figured that he only turned on Robbie in order to become a singles star, so since he wound up teaming with Drake anyway, he might as well go back to the partner who he had more success with. Robbie reuniting with Jessie I guess makes sense too, since Robbie's "new image" run only resulted in an unanswered challenge to some sports guy, and one win over a Wolf. Going back to hunting for the Cursed Tag Titles is as sane an approach as any.
It looks as if my theory of a secret Godderz-Drake alliance was wrong.
Leading up to this match EY has been mean to Bram, and has been being driven even crazier by Willow, who seemingly only EY can see. EY decided that him and Bram were quitting TNA last week. Bram turned down EY’s idea, so EY piledrove him. This week was Bram’s revenge.
Winner: and new TV/KOTM Champion, Bram. Welcome to 2006!
Eli Drake really should have cashed in his titleshot afterwards on the exhausted Spirit of 2006. I guess he is waiting until 2007?
- Segment with Galloway challenging Lashley. - Segment with Jeff Hardy and Reby/Spud arguing. - 5. No DQ, No Countouts: “The Miracle” Mike Bennett (w/ Maria) versus “Unpinned, unsubmitted” Ethan Carter III
This match was all about the Miracle Duo trying to get Ethan to lose his cool and his focus again. Unexpectedly, they succeeded.
Winner: VIA PINFALL, “The Miracle” Mike Bennett
- Thus ends Ethan’s 800 day streak of being unpinned. To put this in perspective, when his streak started, TNA was airing on Spike, Hogan had just left the company, and the Aces and Eights and Main Event Mafia were still running around.
No, no, I get it. But don't forget: throwing shit at the wall was how we got the Attitude Era. And it helps to remember that not everything was golden back then, either. For all their big hits at that time, there were just as many misses.