I gather there is no Impact this week. However, I happened to catch a rerun of Impact from last week and seeing as how there's no report on here for that, I thought for continuity's sake I will put this up.
The Recap for TNA Impact 9.2.2010, taped from the Impact Zone in Orlando, FL.
We open the show with Hulk, Eric, and Ms. Tessmacher coming down the ramp. Hogan mentions how he loves coming to work because the greatest talent in the wrestling business is in the back. I know he has to say such things but it's rather ridiculous. Hogan calls out the semifinalists, "the fatal four," one by one. Hogan says this is their chance to raise the bar. Bischoff sets up a tag match main event by calling it one of the biggest challenges of their lives. Abyss comes down uninvited to deliver some news from "them." Hogan says everyone knows they are Fortune (I can't bring myself to type "Fourtune") but Abyss says Hogan's just as ignorant as everyone else. EV2 or Fortune were never They. However, They have all the pieces in position and a date of revelation - 10.10.10. He promises that They will turn TNA upside down and get rid of president Dixie Carter. If They can keep her off TV, I will support Them. Abyss promises to "exterminate" people. Ok, then. Hardy attacks Abyss mid-speech, and that sends us to a commercial. Decent opening, setting up the main event and a revelation at BFG. 1 for 1.
Match 1: Madison Rayne and Biker Chick over Angelina Love and Velvet Sky via Helmet Shot in 3 minutes. It was a pretty bad match and Madison's choice of clothes was rather unflattering. Post match, Biker Chick and Rayne beat up Love and Sky and Biker Chick reveals herself to the 2 people who didn't know who she was. It's Tara, for the record. 1 for 2.
Stevie Richards reveals that he has been asked all day if he's afraid of facing Abyss. He says he's not. He's faced adversity all his life and tonight he will stand out from the shadows of his friends and hold his ground.
Match 2: Stevie Richards over Abyss via Stevenkick in 2 minutes. Jeez, really, TNA? How do you explain this booking move? The match was Abyss domination. 1 for 3. Post match, Abyss attacks Stevie and looks to kill him with Janice while EV2 and Fortune face off backstage. Brian Kendrick makes the save for no good reason and he and Stevie beat a hasty retreat.
Backstage, Mr. Anderson wonders why The Pope doesn't like him - he's saved him like 10 times and they should really be best friends. Pope doesn't buy it, but Anderson is not selling anything. Anderson just wants to win tonight and needs to know if he sticks his hand out, will Dinero be there? Dinero says they'll see, since he doesn't trust him and all.
Tommy Dreamer leads out EV2 and he's sick of talking. He calls out Fortune "to do this" and they duly oblige. Styles gets on the mic to predict that EV2 are going to get destroyed in the PPV matches, including Dreamer in his match against Styles "in my house." Dreamer says this is a house where people think Styles sucks. He doesn't want to wait until the PPV so he sets up a 4 on 4 for tonight.
Jarrett tells Samoa Joe to do the right thing because Jarrett is fighting Sting for TNA, for Joe, and all his friends in the back. Joe says he's learned one thing in the business - you should mind your own.
Match 3: Sting over Jeff Jarrett via Nash-ference in 3 minutes. This match, feud, and everything related to it sucks. Jarrett, a multiple-time World Champion loses because Nash trips him and Sting falls on top of him? Really? 1 for 4. Post match, Nash attacks Jarrett, but Hogan's music saves him. The distraction allows Joe to attack Nash from behind and exchange pleasantries with Sting. Nash and Sting back off.
Shore is coming soon. I have no idea what to make of this.
Des Wolfe and Magnus are out to hype "London Brawling," saying they've been beating every wanker put in front of them at Xplosion. Magnus and Wolfe are here to save us all and ensure that the belts come to real men. MCMGs are out to offer a rebuttal, saying Wolfe and Magnus haven't really beat anyone. Sabin says Magnus and Wolfe are engaging in man-love, but Wolfe rightly points out that they're the only team with a "bird." Magnus tells Sabin to grow more hair on his nuts. Shelley wants Chelsea for 10 dollars, five minutes, and one dog tag. Hehe. Wolfe claims to be the biggest man "this side of the pond" but Chelsea won't back him up. MCMGs claim that Wolfe's weapon would be on the shorter side if there was a swordfight in the ring right now. That is apparently the last straw, and London Brawling attack and wipe out the Guns. A dick-slinging contest. Only on Impact, folks! 1 for 5. This match got inexplicably dropped from the PPV. I was kind of looking forward to it. Instead we got another, albeit decent, spotfest between MCMG and Gen Me.
Backstage, Tommy Dreamer is one man short. Brian Kendrick offers his services, but Dreamer initially refuses, telling him not to get involved. Kendrick says he wants to "create reality" with them. Still on the bong, I see. That impresses Dreamer (and it should, he's RVD and Sabu's best friend) who accepts him but tells him not to screw up.
Hardy and Angle are in the back. Hardy points out that Angle's career might be over if he loses, but Angle doesn't plan on losing. They agree to coexist and shake hands.
Match 4: Elimination Tag: Fortune (AJ Styles, Robert Roode, James Storm, Kazarian) over EV2 (Sabu, Rhino, Tommy Dreamer, Brian Kendrick) in 18 minutes. Here's how the eliminations went: 1. Kaz over Sabu, Oklahoma Roll 2. Kendrick over Kaz, kick to the head 3. Kendrick via DQ, dropkicking the ref 4. Rhino via countout, brawl with Abyss 5. Dreamer over Roode, DDT 6. Dreamer over Storm, rollup 7. AJ over Dreamer, Pele. Sole Survivor: AJ. Decent match, but remember, only one team can really go. I can't wait for this feud to be over with, though. 2 for 6.
Match 5: D'Angelo Dinero and Mr. Anderson over Jeff Hardy and Kurt Angle via pin (Dinero on Angle -> Mic Check) in 5 minutes. Way to give your main event some time there. Hardy accidentally hit Angle with the Whisper in the Wind, allowing Anderson to catch him with the Mic Check, and Dinero stole the pin. Post match, Angle/Hardy and Dinero/Anderson brawled to hype their matches at the PPV. 3 for 7.
Wrestling Counter: 31 minutes.
The Score: 3 for 7: It's funny how this show hyped more for BFG than No Surrender, but that's understandable since BFG is TNA's Wrestlemania. The 10/10/10 gimmick is pretty cool but I have a sinking feeling that the revelation will not live up to the hype. The show continues to be hit-and-miss - the Jarrett/Sting feud is going nowhere and seems like it will take Joe down with it. I don't like EV2.0 and they continue to take up time on the show.
I thought the worst thing about this show was the fact the London Brawling/MCMG feud has devolved into a slew of crotch jokes and gay-baiting. I guess the Impact Zone is actually a high school gym class.
I've been noticing a trend with recent Impact shows to start the main event with less than ten minutes to go in the show. It's especially infuriating considering we saw a month ago that TNA is capable of doing a show with all action and no nonsense talking segments.
I feel your pain, man. I, too, am a Tough Enough mark. There I said it! Happy now? Hmmm...come to think about it, now that I've admitted it, it doesn't seem quite so bad. I might be able to get through this after all.