The Recap for TNA Impact 7.9.09, where I obviously missed the title. I looked on TNA's official website, but they don't seem to have it updated there. Help?
- We open the show with Mick Foley coming down to the ring, complete with a nose bandage. Foley says that when he got EL KABONGed last week, he came to the realization that there cannot be two authority figures in TNA. Well, shouldn't it be THREE? What happened to poor Cornette? He calls out Jarrett so one of them could step down. JJ comes out with his own head bandage. JJ wants to solve the MEM problem with Foley, but he says it can't be done by taking conmtrol of all the titles. Foley admits to being stupid when he said that he'd defend the title only once a year. Foley says his son has pointed out that he's hit JJ about six times, while Jarrett has hit him once, which means they're even. Excellent math! So they kiss and make up. Foley makes a three-way dance between Angle, Jarrett, and himself. But just to convince people they he and JJ are not in cahoots, he lets Angle choose a special guest referee, provided it is not someone from the Mafia or Matt Morgan. They shake hands.
- Backstage, Lauren (so she escaped from Dr. Stevie?) is with the British Invasion as Doug Williamds has Homicide in a ladder match for Homicide's Feast-or-Fired briefcase. Brutus Magnus gives a fairly generic promo about how he's dangerous by himself and even stronger as a team.
Ladder Match: Homicide over Doug Williams via Briefcase Retrieval in 2 minutes. Team 3D interfered to help Homicide win. A ladder match that lasts two minutes is counterproductive and certainly not worth rating. Postmatch, Sheik Bashir and Kiyoshi come down to put the boots to 3D, and Homicide, that ungrateful bitch, is nowhere to be found.
- Mick Foley "Will Become."
- For some reason, Tenay comments that Angle selecting the guest referee gets "more interesting by the minute." No idea why that would be. He then hypes the rest of the show as I tune out.
- We get a sitdown with Suicide. Ok, logical holes abound. Tenay says that he was told that Suicide wrote the lyrics to his own entrace theme. Hey, Kane called, he wants his old voice back. Suicide says he was left to choose between life and death. Getting nowhere with that, Tenay asks him when he comes alive, to which he responds that he chooses to come alive when he sees the light. "I am the dark savior." Suicide says he does not represent the end, but rather the beginning. Ok, so Suicide's character is that of an undead emo poet prince of darkness with Kane's voice? (How's that for an awesome ripoff: Undertaker + Kane + Jeff Hardy?)
- Sting hits the ring with the TNA Title. He tells Angle that if he wants the title, he can come get it, but first he wants to talk to Joe. Joe joins him in the ring, as West reveals that we'll get to meet Joe's adviser at Victory Road. So West has the inside scoop on all heel characters' doings? Cool. Sting says that Joe's problem is that he wants everything but he's not willing to work for it. He says that Joe took a payoff at his expense, which is a big mistake. Sting rants on him and challenges Joe to do something about it. When he doesn't, Sting keeps egging him on, asking him what's stopping him. Joe says he's been instructed to keep his temper. "Your time will come." - Joe. Sting says he's gonna find out who's in Joe's head because he knows Joe is not capable of doing this himself. Ouch. Sting says at Victory Road, he's gonna pull Joe's adviser out of the darkness and beat his ass in the ring. Sting leaves in a huff while Joe just stands there and smiles. That did a nice job of hyping the mystery man. Bring on Tazz at Victory Road!
- Jenna Morasca brags about how she made her millions. She says she hired a trainer to prepare her for Sharmelle with some of that money, which turns out to be Awesome Kong. So Jenna Morasca is a face now? Ok, then.
- Scott Steiner and Booker T join us for commentary for the next match: Non-Title: Beer Money over Motor City Machine Guns when they pinned Alex Shelley with the DWI in 4 minutes. Entertaining enough action. Booker T breaking out his Black Snow voice was great as usual. ** on the PES. I wish TNA took MCMG seriously, but I'm not holding out hope.
- Dissention in the Beautiful People, with Angie Love throwing a hissy fit about the spider and Velvet Sky saying that it's not about Angelina Love all the time. She says if Lvoe doesn't cover her back during her match against Tara, they're done. Madison Rayne stands there and looks useless. After Sky storms off, Love gets in a backhand comment about the spider crawling up Velvet's ass. Angie Love is great.
- Sarita debuts next week.
Match 3: Tara over Velvet Sky via Widow's Peak in 3 minutes. Decent match that saw Velvet get quite a bit of offense. *1/2 on the PES. Postmatch, Tara brings out her Tarantula, causing Angelina Love to challenge her to a match. Tara wants to up the stakes, so Angie reluctantly puts the title on the line. That match is next!
Knockouts Title: Tara over Angelina Love via Widow's Peak in 4 minutes. The match was ok, going ** on the PES. But why, oh, why would you do it like this? Why not have it next week, with proper build up so it means more when the title changes hands? Ugh. Giving more than 4 minutes could've helped as well. Boneheaded TNA planning at its best.
- We get footage from "earlier in the week" when Abyss stormed Dr. Stevie's office. Stevie is all calm, but Abyss attacks him and attempts to kill him, before he starts twitching and rolls onto a couch, unable to move. Apparently, Stevie put a drug in his water that causes neuromuscular problems, which means that while Abyss can breathe, he can't move any muscles. Excellent. Stevie slaps him for posterity and breaks a glass over his head for good measure.
Match 5: AJ Styles and Daniels over Matt Morgan and Kevin Nash when they pinned Morgan in 6 minutes. Ok match that does a nice job of setting up two singles matches on the PPV. **1/4 on the PES. I'm still not sold on Matt Morgan's in-ring ability, though. Postmatch, the heels attack with chairs and wipe out the faces.
- Sting is out looking for Joe's mystery adviser, walking around with a towel over his head. A car drives up, which must mean that Joe's adviser cannot spot the 100+ pound difference between Joe and Sting. Sting tries to punish him for this stupidity, but before he can get his hands on him, Joe pops up from behind to choke him out.
- Eric Young is the special guest referee. CONTINUITY~!
Non-Title: Kurt Angle over Jeff Jarrett and Mick Foley when he had Foley submit to the Ankle Lock Eric Young blatantly cheated in 10 minutes. Normal guest-ref shenanigans in the finish here. The match was alright and we'll go **1/2 on the PES for it. Postmatch, JJ chased Young off to the back, while the Mafia came down and laid a massive beatdown on Foley comprising of barbed wire and a baseball bat.
- End show.
Wrestling Counter: 29 minutes.
--> Well, the heels certainly heeled it up tonight. After my concern about the heels becoming comedy acts a couple of weeks ago, this was a welcome change with heels winning, pretty much across the board. I still think TNA could do a better job of hyping the big matches a week earlier rather than trying the "watch because you don't know what's gonna happen" philosophy. This is especially true for the Knockouts Title change and the main event. A decent-leaning-towards-good show, we'll go **3/4 on the PES.
Forfeit the game, before somebody else takes you outta the game, and puts your name to shame Cover up your face, you can't run the race The pace is too fast, you just won't last - "Points Of Authority" - Linkin Park
Originally posted by used2bcoolFoley says that when he got EL KABONGed last week, he came to the realization that there cannot be two authority figures in TNA. Well, shouldn't it be THREE? What happened to poor Cornette?
Jeff Jarrett, Mick Foley, Jim Cornette, Dixie Carter, Knockout Law Tracy Brooks...
Originally posted by used2bcool Ladder Match: Homicide over Doug Williams via Briefcase Retrieval in 2 minutes. Team 3D interfered to help Homicide win. A ladder match that lasts two minutes is counterproductive and certainly not worth rating.
There was a ladder match? I'm sorry, I was busy blinking. Yeah, if a match exists solely to further an angle which has nothing to do with the actual match (which I have no problem with), why bother with the ladder? Hmmm.
Originally posted by used2bcoolSuicide...emo
Ha ha, yes. I've gotten to the point where I don't mind the Suicide character, but I don't think I'm ready to get invested in his psyche.
Originally posted by u2bcJenna Morasca brags about how she made her millions. She says she hired a trainer to prepare her for Sharmelle with some of that money, which turns out to be Awesome Kong. So Jenna Morasca is a face now? Ok, then.
Jeez, no, not hardly. Kong is just in-betweeny. Here's the thing -- Raisha Saeed never stopped being a heel, she just became less prominent, with Kong even doing some of the talking for herself. In this segment, Saeed did all the talking, which is a tip-off that they're operating on the dark side again.
On the other hand, TNA is giving us a PPV match between two non-wrestler heels and I'm having a difficult time figuring out what they are thinking.
Originally posted by u2bc Non-Title: Beer Money over Motor City Machine Guns when they pinned Alex Shelley with the DWI in 4 minutes. Entertaining enough action. Booker T breaking out his Black Snow voice was great as usual. ** on the PES. I wish TNA took MCMG seriously, but I'm not holding out hope.
I dunno, I can't figure out what TNA thinks about MCMG. The guys are pretty directionless right this second, but they're on every week, and they get promo time and stuff.
MCMG seem to have lost all interest in who Suicide is, which is deeply disappointing to me, because it gave them something interesting to do and allowed them to be total dicks as well. Maybe they'll get back to it, because none of those five guys (including Lethal Consequences) are doing anything right now.
Originally posted by u2bcPostmatch, Tara brings out her Tarantula, causing Angelina Love to challenge her to a match. Tara wants to up the stakes, so Angie reluctantly puts the title on the line.
I am amazed and even a little touched that Love cares about Sky so much that she's willing to put up her title just so Sky doesn't get a fuzzy spider put on her.
(Oh! And we found out that the spider's name is "Poison"! Awwww)
Originally posted by u2bc Match 5: AJ Styles and Daniels over Matt Morgan and Kevin Nash when they pinned Morgan in 6 minutes. Ok match that does a nice job of setting up two singles matches on the PPV. **1/4 on the PES. I'm still not sold on Matt Morgan's in-ring ability, though.
I like a lot of the little things that Morgan does, like the smug grin after the Carbon Footprint, the way he hurls his elbow pads at the ref before the trapped back elbows, the constant grandstanding -- it's good stuff. Morgan's one of the only heels that the crowd doesn't cheer for, and I think he's good at being unlikable.
I enjoyed this match and it's always great to see Styles and Daniels working together as a team. The ending sequence was particularly nice, with Styles backflipping out of the chokeslam and hitting the Pele, followed by Daniels' BME, followed by Styles' splash from 2/3 of the ring away.
Originally posted by u2bcPostmatch, the heels attack with chairs and wipe out the faces.
Yeah, including "injuring" Daniels' ankle, but let's mention for the record that Styles rallies, puts Nash's face into the ring steps, and chases Morgan off with a chair.
Non-Title: Kurt Angle over Jeff Jarrett and Mick Foley when he had Foley submit to the Ankle Lock Eric Young blatantly cheated in 10 minutes. Normal guest-ref shenanigans in the finish here.
Specifically, Young claimed that Foley tapped when Foley did no such thing. I did like Young's little "ring the bell" motions -- he probably would make a pretty good ref. Maybe he can take over the Senior Official position now that Rudy Charles has been released.
Pretty good show, although I FFWD through most of the promos tonight.
Originally posted by KJames199Jeff Jarrett, Mick Foley, Jim Cornette, Dixie Carter, Knockout Law Tracy Brooks...
Wow, I forgot all about Traci Brooks -- we haven't seen her in forever. She's still on the TNA website, but it doesn't have any bio for her, so I think they've dropped the Knockout Law thing.
(Also, I don't think Dixie counts as an "authority figure.")
(edited by Karlos the Jackal on 10.7.09 0257) Last 5 movies seen: Miss Potter **1/2 - My Darling Clementine *** - Synechdoche, New York **1/2 - Man on Wire **** - The House Bunny ***
I started watching during the Suicide interview, and I loved used2bcool's description of him. Good stuff.
This show was actually pretty great from what I saw, with one notable exception, and this is where I and Karlos differ wildly. I think Matt Morgan is really, really bad. He seemed out of position on everything in that show, outside of the boot. If Daniels and AJ can't get a good match out of you, it might be hopeless.
Finally, I love Velvet Sky. Actually, the Beautiful People are all great. Madison Raine was even showing good facials in her role, and I hadn't seen her do anything good in her whole time in TNA. I only worry that Tara looked to me like she had taken one too many botox injections. Her spider is awesome though, and I haven't seen something called "Poison" so feared since the days of WOW.
(edited by Torchslasher on 10.7.09 0709) Click Here (czwfans.com)
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"Put on your helmets, we'll be reaching speeds of 3!" "It was nice of you to give that dead woman another chance." "All right, look alive everybody...oh sorry Susan."- MST3K: Space Mutiny Click Here (myspace.com)
Is Matt Morgan great or is Matt Morgan bad? I haven't decided for sure, but one thing is for sure he's athletically gifted and should NEVER be in a tag team with Nash again. Morgan was running and jumping all over the ring with a much better physique and then Nash gets in there and wobbles around. I actually like Nash and for somebody that size who turned 50 this week I don't think he's that bad, but he looks horrible compared to Morgan.
That being said, I'm digging Steiner/Booker as a team and if Nash sticks to mostly talking and only wrestling occasionally then I think the Mafia is suddenly much better than originally thought.
It is hard to figure out what TNA thinks about MCMG. Same for LAX. Homicide just won a shot at the X Division title. That's good right? Except that nothing will probably come of it.
I'm not sure how I feel about the Knockouts title change. I do like that Angelina backed her friend. It's nice that heels can have friends too and don't just team up because they're all heels. On the other hand I don't like taking the belt off of Angelina and I don't see why Angelina didn't just get DQed or walked off once Velvet Sky had been taken to the back. That seems like the sort of thing that Angelina would do.
I don't care about Suicide's psyche either, especially since it probably means Suicide is staying masked for a long time, but his voice sounds way cooler than Kane's.
I'm liking the lineup for the PPV. Hopefully Angle can get something out of Foley. I'm liking Joe/Sting with the mystery mentor making his debut. Styles/Nash might not be good and I'm not sure how well Morgan and Daniels mesh but they are new match ups and at least you have two of your best wrestlers trying to make something of those matches. (I'd love to see Styles/Morgan at some point though. Styles has a good history with big men and Morgan is athletic enough to maybe do even more with Styles.) Steiner/Booker vs. Beer Money has been interesting so far and hopefully we'll still get Brits/Team 3D, EY/Jarrett, Tara/Love rematch and X Division match or something with Suicide/MCMG/Consequences Creed. Stevie/Abyss is still out there too.
I said it a year ago or so, and I still think Morgan can be the future of the company. He is not there yet, but the raw skills are all there, in and out of the ring. I am hoping Daniels can carry him to a great big man little man match that could put Morgan on the map. Then again, if he ever takes off as a star in TNA, he is the perfect candidate for a talent raid by Vince.
"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."
As long as Tara doesn't have to face Jenna Morasca, she should be okay. Wasn't one of the Survivor "Gross Food Challenges" eating a (dead) tarantula.?
So I could see TNA someday booking a "Jenna vs. Tara for the Rights to Poison" match. Or else Jenna kidnaps Poison and serves it to her, by using a recipe she learned on Survivor. Oh, the possibilities....
It reminds me that I wanted to mention that I like Bashir & Kiyoshi's sports-coat-and-t-shirt look during the Impact run-in. Little things like that make them seem like more of a team.
I wish their ring gear could match a little more, not just because I like teams that look like teams but also it would maybe seperate them a little from the "Stereotypical Middle East" and "Stereoptypical Far East" look. I do like the way both of them have their faces covered up when they first come out; they could capitalize on that a little more, maybe both "unmasking" at the same time.
(Speaking of matching ring gear, note Lethal Consequences' star motif, and in particular their matching kickguards. Yay!)
Last 5 movies seen: Miss Potter **1/2 - My Darling Clementine *** - Synechdoche, New York **1/2 - Man on Wire **** - The House Bunny ***
Video package of the tag teams participating in the 3 Way Dance fighting each other in different events. There has been a lot of broken tables throughout this feud. The 3 Way Dance is April 8th. Mikey Whipwreck makes his way to the ring.