Mick Foley is out first -- yay! He asks Kurt Angle -- his opponent at Victory Road -- to come out, which Kurt does. Mick Foley wants Angle to promise not to bring the rest of the Main Event Mafia with him to their match on Sunday. Angle dodges the question and explains again to Mick why the MEM exists -- because these kids today are punks who whine about everything and won't get off his lawn.
Sting is out and wants a match with Kurt tonight. Kurt says "Yeah! And let's make it a Six Sides of Steel match!" Okay!
Samoa Joe vs. Amazing Red: Samoa Joe gets started early by beating Red throughout the backstage area. Don West thinks that Red probably brought it on himself by looking at Joe funny. They're in the Impact Zone now, and Joe kicks Red down the ramp, Red flipping ass over teakettle. They're in the ring; Joe shoves down Rudy Charles and that's a DQ. Red gets Musclebusted for good measure.
TNA's new BIG TOUGH security is in the ring -- with tonfas! -- to chase Joe off. (There are three of them, in addition to the elderly Mike Davis, head of security -- a big guy, a bald guy, and a guy who looks like Seann William Scott -- I think it's Mikael Judas, Kimo, and Phil Shatter [on the left] -- that's the word on the street, at least.)
Lauren interviews Sarita, who is plucky~!, and will be facing "Alissa Flash" later tonight. And here's some Spanish!
Don West has a sit-down interview with Sharmelle and Jenna Morasca and I FFWD through it so fast you wouldn't believe it.
Chris Sabin vs. Suicide: This is non-title. Fun little match sees things remain pretty even -- at least as long as Alex Shelley runs interference. Suicide reverses the Hesitation Dropkick into his 2nd Turnbuckle face jam, and then finishes with the Suicide Solution.
Shelley ambushes Suicide from behind, and then holds him prone while Sabin slides a steel chair under Suicide's face and then legdrops him! Homicide is out now, with his Feast or Fired case, to chase off the Machine Guns. They take off, and Homicide gets Suicide's title belt for him...but he looks at the belt -- looks at his case -- looks at the belt -- looks at Suicide, unconscious...ring that bell!
Homicide vs. Suicide: Homicide goes for the pin -- NO! Somehow Suicide kicks out! He gets to his feet but he's not all there, punching the air -- Homicide PLANTS him with the Gringo Killer (!) and that's that -- Homicide is our NEW X Division champion.
Lauren interviews Homicide in back -- he's all, hey, it's not against the rules. He's "opportunistic," Tenay says, sulking. I really wish that TNA could "tweak" the Feast or Fired briefcases to make them not a total Money in the Bank knockoff.
The Beautiful People are here -- Angelina Love is wearing a beekeeper outfit -- and, hilariously, still does the "look at my booty" ring entrance. She's wearing it to guard against Tara's spider -- and Tara, she claims, should not be recognized as the Knockout champion because that was never an "official" match last week. But Love is "graciously" willing to give Tara a "rematch" at Victory Road! Tara appears and accepts -- oh, and also, her spider is already inside Love's suit. Love rolls around in the ring until Tara comes in and gives her the Widow's Peak.
Alissa Flash vs. Sarita: Alissa Flash is Cheerleader Melissa (and, of course, Raisha Saeed) -- she instructs ring announcer Dave Penzer to refer to her as "The Future Legend." Flash has a personality, then, which bodes well for her becoming a recurring character. Sarita is announced as from Winnipeg-via-Mexico-City -- hmm. Sarita grabs Flash's wrist, springs to the top rope, and comes off with an armdrag, followed by a dropkick, taking Flash out to the floor. Sarita runs back and forth across the ring -- so fast that the cameraman can hardly keep up -- and dives between the top and middle rope onto Flash.
Flash turns things around on the floor; once they're back in the ring, they trade off. Tenay and West are both very impressed with Flash -- Sarita got the hype, but Flash is looking to spoil her debut. Sarita hits a crossbody off the top rope, and an armbar; Flash responds with a surfboard into a curbstomp. Sarita goes for a leg scissor thing, but Flash wheelbarrow-suplexes her into the turnbuckles! Flash goes for a scoop slam but Sarita reverses it into a rollup for the pin.
And that was just the highlights. That was a blast. After the match, they shake hands -- no, Flash kicks her and hits a -- Michinoku Driver II, I think? Maybe that's what she was going for (not a scoop slam) when she got rolled up.
Main Event Mafia vs. Beer Money & AJ Styles: This is an elimination match. Kevin Nash, Scott Steiner, and Booker T represent the Mafia. Nash almost instantly eliminates Styles with the Jackknife Powerbomb -- wubba huh? -- and a few minutes later, Steiner pins James Storm with the Flatliner.
Robert Roode is all alone but fights valiantly, eventually pinning Nash after a valiant low blow. Nash continues to interfere in the match -- James Storm comes out with a chair, but Matt Morgan ambushes him from behind. Roode holds off the other two for a while but finally gets pinned -- Steiner elevates him in a bear hug and Booker nails him with a jumping sidekick. (Yeah! Double team moves rule!)
Sharmelle and Jenna go at it in the ring -- argh. I am still baffled at them getting a match at Victory Road.
Team 3D say that the British Invasion have no respect -- the Brits show up and they all start brawling. They'll have a match at Victory Road -- and the IWGP titles will be at stake!
Abyss is backstage with Lauren and a bag of tacks -- which does he love more? He's got a match with Dr. Stevie this Sunday!
Kurt Angle vs. Sting: As promised, in the Six Sides of Steel. Jeff Jarrett is out to do commentary -- I just realized he's not on the Victory Road card. Maybe he'll have a match on the preshow!
This match goes about as you'd expect it to, back and forth, until Samoa Joe comes out and slams Rudy Charles' head into the ring steps, gets the keys, and locks himself into the cage. (This is the second time tonight that Joe has taken out Rudy Charles, who has since been released -- are they going to make this a storyline reason for his disappearance?) The lights go out and "13" and "FTW" show on the TNAtron. Tenay does his smug little "we know what THAT means!" routine. Lights are back on, and Kurt now has a retractable baton -- West suggests that Joe's handler threw it in. (It would have been easier for Joe to just carry it in himself.)
Joe chokes Sting out with the Coquina Clutch while Angle uses the baton to keep Angle and Foley out of the ring.
And that's the show! Mostly pretty fun stuff tonight -- several of the matches were quite good.
(edited by Karlos the Jackal on 17.7.09 0334) Last 5 movies seen: Miss Potter **1/2 - My Darling Clementine *** - Synechdoche, New York **1/2 - Man on Wire **** - The House Bunny ***
I am a bit surprised no X-Division match for Road to Victory, I guess the fans have been clamoring for that Sharmell vs. Jenna match. I missed the first half of the show which seemed to be the most interesting. The most telling part of the show is how they are saying MEM may hold all the belts, I get the feeling that it is a swerve. I do think Kurt will hang on, but the rest of the MEM will lose which may lead to finally breaking up MEM. Hopefully, we get Kurt vs AJ with AJ winning the belt and ending the MEM. Other then that, the rest of the show seems to be moving towards some good storylines especially in the Knockout division.
Loved Sarita vs. Melissa. I liked that they hyped up Sarita, we all saw her facing somebody new (or at least a new gimmick) and probably expected a squash, but then it turned out to be a back and forth match. I thought that made Melissa and Sarita both look good.
I'm glad to see that Homicide won the X Division title but I doubt it will lead to anything. After all they keep saying the MEM might win all the titles at the PPV. Since Homicide doesn't have a match against a Mafia member I guess the X Division title isn't even considered a title anymore.
Angelina's mic work tonight was eh, but the beautified beekeeper suit was hilarious.
They could always tack on a X Division match, but they probably wouldn't have a Jarrett match without talking about it so I guess he isn't wrestling. I figured they would do Jarrett/Young.
I don't mind that AJ lost first in the six man tag but the MEM should have all ganged up on him and put over the fact that they knew they had to get rid of him first. Even though I like both AJ and Storm better Roode looked really good trying to fight on his own.
IWGP titles on the line? Doesn't that guarantee that Team 3D is going to win?
That was a sad main event. Angle looks in great shape. His definition is superb. But the slow pace of every element makes it look more like a semblance of a wrestling show instead of an earnest competitor to the WWE.
Why would Sting wait for Joe to lock the cage and turn around before attacking him? Why would Angle pose in the ring instead of Anglelocking Sting while he was in the Clutch?
"To be the man, you gotta beat demands." -- The Lovely Mrs. Tracker
The Quick and Dirty for WWE SmackDown 1.23.09 from Omaha, Nebraska. * Note: I'm lazy and so I didn't time the matches, instead choosing to use our very own geemoney's match timings from his review over at The Torch (pwtorch.com).