The Recap for TNA Impact 6.18.09 from the Impact Zone in Orlando, FL.
- We get highlights of last week as Mike Tenay and Don West welcome us to the show. It starts with Foley heading down to the ring with Earl Hebner (complete with swollen cheek), Foley security, and a clown in tow. Hebner has facial hair, which is the first time I've ever seen anything change with him. Foley calls AJ Styles, Samoa Joe, and Kurt Angle to the ring, followed by the guest of honor, Jeff Jarrett. The MASSIVE "Welcome Back Jeffrey" banner would tell you that this is a sort of homecoming for Jarrett. Foley claims to have found his smile again. Well, that was quick. JJ rightly asks him if he's lost his mind, but Foley responds by dropping a bunch of confetti on him. Then he books a big three-way tag as the main event and calls it a "Can't We All Get Along" Match. He wants everyone to put in their hands as a goodwill gesture, but JJ refuses. Joe has other ideas as well and attacks Angle, until security come out to separate them. That was...bizarre.
- Backstage, JB is with Daffney, Dr. Stevie, and Raven. He announces another meaningless Monster's Ball match between Wilde/Abyss and Daffney/Raven. Daffney has some choice words for her partners. Raven says that he and Abyss have a lot in common, with both of them being masochists, the only difference being that Raven is intelligent enough to survive in society. He says there are only three ways to cure an addiction: You come clean, you go to jail, or you die. Raven says Monster's Ball will be Abyss's funeral.
Match 1: Daniels over Amazing Red via Best Moonsault Ever in 4 minutes. Say it with me, Impact Special! The result was never in doubt. Let's go ** on the PES. Postmatch, Douglas accepts Daniels's challenge, saying Jarrett screwed up when he offered Daniels a second chance. He promises that Daniels will get Franchised.
- Lauren is with Taylor Wilde, Awesome Kong, and Raisha Saeed. I guess Raisha is now a face by default. Wilde says she's ready for whatever it takes to get rid of Daffney, but Raisha silences her, because KONG WANTS TO TALK! Kong: "Monster will kill princess first and then monster will kill monster." Awesome!
- Matt Morgan heads to the ring to call out Sting. He says he didn't mean to disrespect Sting, but he wound up doing it anyway. He says Sting won't let him join the MEM since he's not a former world champ. He wants Sting to give him a shot against a former world champ to prove himself. Morgan challenges Sting to a match at Slammiversary, and if Morgan wins, he can be in the MEM. Sting says ok, and then turns to leave, prompting Morgan to try and blindside him; but Sting is too good for such shit and ducks out of the way to leave Morgan tumbling out of the ring. Good stuff, and though I have no interest in the match itself, the result could be amusing.
- JB is with JJ and asking questions from notes! Jarrett wonders if Foley's lost his mind, and says he never knows if businessman Mick Foley will show up or crazy Mick Foley will show up. He says the only reason Foley is in the company is because JJ has compassion for crazy people. ZING! He promises that the title comes home at Slammiversary. And somewhere, Karlos shivers at the thought of Jeff Jarrett, World Champion.
Clockwork House of Fun Match: Raven over "Outlaw" Jethro Holliday via pin after Holliday cross-body blocked through the cage wall in 3 minutes. Nice spot in the end, but way too short to mean anything. *1/2 on the PES. Raven looked ok. Postmatch, Daffney comes down to observe the fun. Raven catches Jethro with the Evenflow on a chair and tries to straight-jacket him, but Abyss makes the save.
- We have footage of an interview that West conducted earlier with Samoa Joe. He says he listens to no one but he is being advised. Oxymoron much, Joe? West asks if there is tension between Joe and AJ, but Joe says they're like brothers, and brothers sometimes fight. Joe says he forgets everything else when he goes to war because he lives and dies by what he does in the ring. Good line. He says the MEM have not earned their positions, just politicked for them. He says the title is of secondary concern at Slammiversary and that he'll be focussed on Angle. I read on 411 that Joe has a torn tricep and will probably need to be covered for at Slammiversary. We'll see how that goes.
- Backstage Angelina Love has second thoughts about trusting Daffney.
- Lauren is with Abyss, who hits nutjob mode pertty quickly quickly with some uncontrolled laughter. He says his body has been through war after war, so all of Raven's threats are of no use. He shows off some scars, including one on Lauren's arm. Lauren is rightfully freaked and starts crying. He says he's gonna cry for Raven at Slammiversary. He says his mom always told him not to hit girls, but since Daffney's not a girl, he can do whatever he wants to her. My perverted mind thinks of many unspeakable things, though I doubt any of them occur to Abyss at this point.
Match 3: Awesome Kong and Taylor Wilde over Daffney and Angelina Love when Kong pinned Daffney with the Implant Buster in 3 minutes. Guess there's a time limit on matches tonight. Let's say *1/4 on the pES. Postmatch, the Beautiful People attack Kong with chairs, but Tara makes the save. Staredown! With RESPECT~!
- Borash is with Team 3D, who complain about having to defend the IWGP Tag Titles and the TNA tag titles on consecutive nights. JB asks what's up with Beer Money, and 3D explain that they saved Beer Money when they didn't need to, but Beer Money didn't return the favor. Devon wants everyone to testify, but then says we'll find out exactly what the deal is at Slammiversary.
- Yet another Cody Deaner training session. You know, you can only do so much with this story here. Deaner has successfully caught the duck from the last segment, so kudos to him.
- SoCal Val is with MCMG and Lethal Consequences. Lethal hasn't forgotten his history with her and calls her a harlot. Haha, awesome! Shelley says either he or Sabin will be X-Division champ soon, but Lethal Consequences take exception to that, leading to an argument which yields no winners. Sabin gets in the line of the night to Lethal, " just shut up and kiss her!"
- Val is with Beer Money and she wants to know what happened last week. Storm says it's simple, they won a bunch of money and bought a bunch of beer with it. Devon says they're very lucky, so Storm calls 3D Beer Money's bitches. That doesn't sit too well with them, so they end up brawling in the parking lot. If you're familiar with Scott Keith's opinions about Russo booking, this entire episode has been one classic case of "Wacky Partners Who Don't Get Along."
Match 4: Team 3D and Beer Money v Lethal Consequences and Motor City Machine Guns: Beer Money and 3D brawl to the ring while their opponents wait inside. Lethal Consequences take out Beer Money, while Suicide attacks Shelley, allowing 3D to clean house. 3D on Shelley finishes in about 30 seconds. Nothing match, but it's an interesting way to continue the feuds.
- Val is backstage with Joe and Styles. When did she replace Lauren as the chief interview girl? Styles says that now that he has Joe and Daniels with him, nothing can stop them. Joe says he knows AJ's not 100%, but he has his back.
- JB is with Foley in the back, claiming that their Twitter pages are hottest things on the net right now. Foley references Trina Michaels, who I'm pretty sure is a pornstar. JB has a poster for Foley to hang up in his room, a job which falls upon Maintenance Guy Kip James. Haha.
- JB is in the MEM locker room asking Angle about Sting. He says they've been getting along lately since he has learned a lot from Sting and all things are cool. He says Steiner, Nash, and Booker will all be back in Detroit to kick Joe's ass. He says that after Slammiversary, they will all celebrate.
Three Way Tag: Samoa Joe and AJ Styles v Kurt Angle and Sting v Jeff Jarrett and Mick Foley: It starts out nicely, with everyone being on their respective same pages. After a bit, though, Foley leaves the match to join commentary, saying sometimes a man chooses to do things on his own. JJ holds his own and after a while just tags in Joe. Joe goes haywire, powerbombing Angle onto Sting. Meanwhile, JJ goes through MEM security to get to Foleyand they get into a brawl. Through the mess, Joe catches Angle in the Muscle Buster, and that's game at 10 minutes. Jarrett kills Foley with a chairshot to the face as we close out.
- End Show.
Wrestling Counter: 21 minutes.
--> It's your typical go-home show, low on the action, but high on storytelling. All the wacky alliances are uneasy and it gives an air of 'anything-may-happen' for the PPV, which is what should entice a few viewers to tune in on Sunday. There is nothing here for a wrestling enthusiast per se, but if you enjoy the story aspect, then this show was well done, nicely-paced, and without any major logical holes, so it basically achieved what it set out to do. Decent job by TNA, as they generally get these go-home shows right. **1/2 on the PES.
Forfeit the game, before somebody else takes you outta the game, and puts your name to shame Cover up your face, you can't run the race The pace is too fast, you just won't last - "Points Of Authority" - Linkin Park
plays the part of the crack research staff member...
Trina Michaels is, indeed, a former porn star, and a former wrestling porn star at that, having appeared several times on the erotic wrestling site "Ultimate Surrender". In September of last year, she announced she was quitting porn to become a... um... "real" professional wrestler.
"War is where the young and stupid are tricked by the old and bitter into killing each other." --Niko Bellic, Grand Theft Auto IV
Fan of the Indianapolis Colts (Super Bowl XLI Champions), Indiana Pacers and Washington Nationals
Certified RFMC Member-- Ask To See My Credentials!
Co-Winner of Time's Person of the Year Award, 2006
JAMES STORM USED THE BRIEFCASE. --- I honestly would love to just have the above be the entirety of this week's recap, but I suppose I should fill everyone else in as to the context that the above involved.