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The W - Pro Wrestling - TNA Impact 5.21.09 - "Double J in Jeopardy"
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used2bcool
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Since: 5.11.08
From: Lake Forest, IL

Since last post: 3 days
Last activity: 35 min.
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.56
The Recap for TNA Impact 5.21.09 from the Impact Zone in Orlando, Fl.

- JJ opens the show, selling a hammy injury that apparently came as a result of the beatdown last week. He says he could rant and rave but that's not gonna change anything, so tonight he will react. He says he's gonna put out Foley's fire, and comments that Foley isn't fit to be TNA Champ. Haha, all sort of irony there. He promises to end Foley's championship reign at Sacrifice. Foley comes out to make fun of Jarrett screaming like a woman last week. He says he went to the Asylum to make peace but instead wound up remembering how much he hates JJ and hit father. Oops. Foley goads him into putting his "voting shares in TNA" ("Deal or No Deal!" - Mick) on line at Sacrifice, whatever the hell that is. Foley puts all the combatants of the Sacrifice main event into tune-up matches for tonight, including one for himself with a "former world champ walking around here." INTRIGUE~!

- Backstage, Kurt Angle is losing it because he can't get a hold of Sting. Scott Steiner, fresh off murdering the English language, attempts to calm him down, but fails. Angle wants Sting to know his role.

- Lauren is backstage with Daniels (not Christopher) and Suicide. Daniels says he's one of the best in the business and will take out all challengers, including Suicide at Sacrifice. Lauren - "Who is Suicide?" Suicide - "I am...Suicide." Ha!

Three Way Tag: Daniels and Suicide over Motor City Machine Guns and Lethal Consequences when Suicide pinned Shelley with a Double-Knee Gutbuster in 6 minutes. Awesome wall-to-wall action, fast-paced, and brilliant. Plus it gets more than your standard Impact Special (tm)! *** on the PES.

- Angle and Steiner search for Sting in the rafters. That leads to a strange video with Sting, where he says that he came back to wrestling because "his soul told him."

- Team 3D come out to put over their invitational tournament and the TNA Tag Team Titles, calling them the most prestigious titles. Ray says that teams in this promotion carry themselves with class and dignity (including Beer Money), which apparently the British Invasion don't. That brings out the Invasion. Brutus makes a strange comment about buying the best insurance policy money can buy. Then they proclaim themselves to be royalty. Why do all British heels have to pretend to be royalty? 3D attack, but get their asses handed to them. "RULE BRITANNIA!" Beer Money makes the save, telling the Invasion that they'll see THEM at Sacrifice. Beer Money shake with 3D. RESPECT~! Sheikh Bashir and Kiyoshi come out to back the Brits. Wow, imagine international politics with that kind of alliance.

- Eric Young has Sting tonight, and he's throwing a fit in Jarrett's office. Jarrett out-throws him, however, calling him an indy nobody. He says Foley gave EY this opportunity and he should make the most of it. EY tells JJ that he'll regret saying that. Hmm.

- Angle finally catches up to Sting, and is rightfully irate. He says Sting can't do this again. Sting asks him if he watches the shows he's on. If he does, then at Lockdown he should've seen Sting getting screwed. They make a pact to bring the title back to the Mafia where it belongs.

Match 2: Sting over Eric Young via Scorpion Deathlock in 3 minutes. This was ok on the story front and had okay-ish action, but I felt a little more could've been done to make EY look good. However, the build towards him turning heel by going off with the head has been nicely and SUBTELY done, and mucho appreciated by me.

- JB tries to get the identity of the opponent of Foley from Mick himself. Mick just tells him to fetch him a steel chair, as he will be needing backup.

- We have a contract signing with Angelina Love and Awesome Kong. The signing goes without incident, and Love has some words. She says she's sorry for everything she's done to Kong, and says that after their match at Sacrifice, she's gonna give Kong an awesome makeover. She's gonna do her hair, and give her a new wardrobe ("because you wear the same thing all the time, and that's just gross"), and send her to the best fat farm to get her ass in shape ("And if that doesn't work, there's always Lipo"). Cornette calls it the insincerest apology he's ever heard, but Kong takes the handshake, but won't let go, though Angie escapes. Rudy Charles gets in Kong's grill and gets Awesomebombed for his troubles. Angie Love works for me as a heel champ.

- Lauren runs into Abyss in Dr. Stevie office, but he's out on business. She berates him for forcing her friend Taylor WIlde into a Monster's Ball match with Daffney.

- Lauren talks to AJ Styles about the I Quit match at Sacrifice. Styles says that if he wanted quit, he would've quit a long time ago, when he had nothing and was working for no money in the Indies. He acknowledges Booker's rough past, saying he knows Booker is in the same position. He promises to make him quit at Sacrifice.

- Lauren talks to Matt Morgan, who says sometimes big-money athletes have to make big-money decisions. And so he has made the decision as he's the most marketable 7-footer in the business today. He tells Angle not to take tonight's loss personally.

Match 3: Kurt Angle over Matt Morgan via rollup in 8 minutes. Chalk one up to Angle's ability of getting a watchable match out of a broomstick. I don't rate Morgan much more than a broomstick, and Angle got a more-than-watchable match from him. **1/2 on the PES. Postmatch, Angle shook hands with Morgan, which could easily set up him taking up a role with the Mafia later on.

- Lauren asks JJ about him hammy, and he says he's in shape to compete. She worries about his preparedness, but he's all about not letting Foley win. He says on Sunday he will see to it that someone other than Foley will win the TNA title.

- Jenna Morasca says Sharmelle has until Sunday to give her an apology.

Match 4: Jeff Jarrett over Samoa Joe via DQ when Joe assaulted the referee in about 3 mins. Joe kept working the hamstring and when the ref tried to stop him, he got assaulted. What I don't get is if JJ said that he was in a shape to compete, why the hell would the ref not allow Joe to kick his hammy, which is perfectly legal? He deserved what he got. In any case, Joe's about turn JJ into pulp with a chair when Styles interferes and tries to calm him down. Joe gets in HIS face, leading to a pull-apart brawl. More an angle than a match. * on the PES.

Match 5: Mick Foley v "Rocky Balboa": Foley introduces Balboa as the greatest fighter from Philly. It turns out to be a fucking cardboard cutout, which Foley pins after an Elbow drop in about 2 minutes. It lasted that long, yes. If someone decides never to watch TNA for the rest of their lives after tonight, I would understand. Minus a billion, gazillion stars on the PES.

- Postmatch, Foley enjoys himself throwing out Rocky quotes, prompting JJ to come out and attack him, completely forgetting the beating Joe gave him 3 minutes ago. He must hate the series then. Angle comes out to put him in the Angle Lock, so Sting comes out to play peacemaker. That goes nowhere as Foley wipes him out with a chair. Then he wipes out JJ to stand tall.

- End Show.

Wrestling Counter: 22 minutes.

-->There are good TNA shows and there are bad TNA shows. This is an example of the latter, where they go above and beyond the expected badness and deliver something so spectacularly horrendous that you're surprised you return to them week after week. I've actually enjoyed the story behind TNA's title, it's far more layered than the straightforward and dull Orton/Batista rivalry over in the E. But then their world champ has to go wrestle a fucking cardboard cutout. In their defense, though, the crowd seemed to be buying into the whole shit. I certainly did not. Also, I'm scared that this will only lead to Jeff Jarrett, World Champ, which is not appreciated.

-->PES: Yeah, I was thinking around 3 stars before the main event. As it is, we'll go with *3/4, as it was a nice enough go-home show, but most people will only take home the images of Foley v Balboa.



(edited by used2bcool on 22.5.09 2356)


Forfeit the game, before somebody else takes you outta the game, and puts your name to shame
Cover up your face, you can't run the race
The pace is too fast, you just won't last
- "Points Of Authority" - Linkin Park
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Oliver
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Since: 20.6.02
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#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.57
Wow...whole lotta Lauren tonight.

Not that there was really much to choose from, but I think the match of the night was Angle vs. Morgan. It was rare seeing some form of sportsmanship from Angle...but I really dug how Morgan kept dishing out the power moves yet succumbed to a small package.

I also loved the 3D/Beer Money bit. Nice to see that the heels and faces can play nice in the face of International Heelery.

Star of the night has to be Rudy Charles for taking an Awesomebomb (is that what they're calling it?) through a table. Not sure if I've ever seen a ref take a table shot, but still cool to see.

Dumb question: did WE (meaning the-W.com) call them Lethal Consequences before TNA did?




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Karlos the Jackal
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Since: 2.1.02
From: The City of Subdued Excitement

Since last post: 9 days
Last activity: 11 hours
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.00
Glad you're back this week, u2bc, because I was feeling pretty peevish about this show and ended up FFWDing through big chunks.

For instance, Jeff Jarrett? Don't care for him. I'm sure he's a great guy and he's had some good matches, but I don't want to see him all over the show or in the Main Event. (Also I hate his finisher.) The only thing that would've interested me here is if Foley had goaded JJ into putting the custody of his daughters on the line at Sacrifice.

The Motor City Machine Guns, on the other hand, were ON FIRE tonight. The match was a lot of fun, but I was still disappointed because I thought this was going to be on the PPV, where it would have been even better.

Instead, at Sacrifice we're getting Suicide vs. Daniels -- a little rushed, there, but okay -- and MCMG aren't even on the card. Maybe them vs. Lethal Consequences will get added at the last minute? How can the brightest spot of the last month's Impacts be left off the card?

    Originally posted by u2bc
    Brutus makes a strange comment about buying the best insurance policy money can buy.
This was in reference to Rob Terry, who gives an awfully delicate beatdown, I have to say.

    Originally posted by u2bc
    What I don't get is if JJ said that he was in a shape to compete, why the hell would the ref not allow Joe to kick him hammy, which is perfectly legal?
I agree with you; Don West implied that it was because "Slick" Johnson is a friend of JJ.

    Originally posted by u2bc
    Foley introduces Balboa as the greatest fighter from Philly. It turns out to be a fucking cardboard cutout, which Foley pins after an Elbow drop in about 2 minutes.
Eh, I was expecting the "Former World Champion" to be Cactus Jack and then Foley would just roll around on the mat by himself. So maybe this was a step up (although it didn't stop me from fast-forwarding through it).

Anyone who was expecting some awesome surprise where Mick Foley, crazy heel with a history of talking to inanimate objects, books himself into a match with an actual brand-new-to-TNA World Heavyweight Champion is a nutbar. They might well have been better off getting it out of the way earlier and ending the show with Angle/Morgan, but in the end, it was two minutes. It didn't ruin the entire show. The show was not particularly good, and this wasn't exactly a cherry on top, but let's not go over the edge here.

    Originally posted by u2bc
    Also, I'm scared that this will only lead to Jeff Jarrett, World Champ, which is not appreciated.
I think it will, but not at Sacrifice. What will happen there is, Mick Foley will pin Jarrett, and Jeff Jarrett, stripped of his "stroke," will have to concentrate on just being a wrestler, rising from the ashes, phoenix-like, finding his purpose in life again, defeating every obstacle that the now all-powerful Foley throws in his path, accompanied by countless video packages trumpeting his inspirational story with slow-motion soulful stares and portentous narration, on his way to winning the title once more and reclaiming his rightful position as King of the Mountain. So, yeah, be scared of that.

    Originally posted by Oliver
    Dumb question: did WE (meaning the-W.com) call them Lethal Consequences before TNA did?
Yes, and other sites did as well. (It's too obvious a name for that to mean anything, of course.)

--K

(edited by Karlos the Jackal on 22.5.09 0104)

Last 5 movies seen: Paul Blart: Mall Cop **1/2 - Last Chance Harvey *** - Doubt **** - Burn After Reading n/a - The Princess Bride n/a
StaggerLee
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Since: 3.10.02
From: Right side of the tracks

Since last post: 6 days
Last activity: 4 days
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.90
Haven't seen TNA in forever, but since the NBC line up was all reruns I thought I'd give it a try again. Holy crap when did Samoa Joe morph into Afa? I know being Samoan means you can carry SOME extra weight, but that's rediculous.

Otherwise, I think I'll watch the reruns of 30 Rock.
used2bcool
Bockwurst








Since: 5.11.08
From: Lake Forest, IL

Since last post: 3 days
Last activity: 35 min.
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.56
    Originally posted by K
    Anyone who was expecting some awesome surprise where Mick Foley, crazy heel with a history of talking to inanimate objects, books himself into a match with an actual brand-new-to-TNA World Heavyweight Champion is a nutbar. They might well have been better off getting it out of the way earlier and ending the show with Angle/Morgan, but in the end, it was two minutes. It didn't ruin the entire show. The show was not particularly good, and this wasn't exactly a cherry on top, but let's not go over the edge here.


Ok, so maybe I overreacted with the initial impression of the segment. I did not expect any awesome surprise either, but was INTRIGUED~ to see what would be thrown my way. What I got was, to quote my own recap, "spectacularly horrendous." I don't care if it was just two minutes, it's the same way how a bad ending pulls down a "great" movie to "just average." This show didn't shape up to be "great" anyway, so it gets pulled down from "decent" to "bad." To be honest with you, I'd have probably had the same reaction if Foley had rolled around by himself, so it's more a case of TNA just booking themselves into a corner. Which they tend to do quite often.



Forfeit the game, before somebody else takes you outta the game, and puts your name to shame
Cover up your face, you can't run the race
The pace is too fast, you just won't last
- "Points Of Authority" - Linkin Park
Matt Tracker
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Since: 8.5.03
From: North Carolina

Since last post: 1 day
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#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.75
Eric Young does not deserve this many angles.



"To be the man, you gotta beat demands." -- The Lovely Mrs. Tracker
lotjx
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Since: 5.9.08

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#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.15
I am actually ok with Foley beating up Rocky, I just wish the other Rocky would have shown up, but whatever. Foley's character has been breath of fresh air and something that has been needed ie fun. The problem with TNA is that if the MEM had better dismantled after Lockdown and we get AJ/Joe now, it would make more sense as well as the Suicide/Daniels angle. Its almost as if the almost year of Frontline vs. MEM has been forgotten for no reason. This is a PPV I will pass on though since the only match that really interests me is the Monster Bawl and Main Event.
Leroy
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Since: 7.2.02

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#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.56
    Originally posted by used2bcool
    Scott Steiner, fresh off murdering the English language...


This line made me laugh out loud LOL. I am SO stealing it.




We all have ways of coping. I use sex and awesomeness.
Peter The Hegemon
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Since: 11.2.03
From: Hackettstown, NJ

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 13 hours
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.03
    Originally posted by Karlos the Jackal

I think it will, but not at Sacrifice. What will happen there is, Mick Foley will pin Jarrett, and Jeff Jarrett, stripped of his "stroke," will have to concentrate on just being a wrestler, rising from the ashes, phoenix-like, finding his purpose in life again, defeating every obstacle that the now all-powerful Foley throws in his path, accompanied by countless video packages trumpeting his inspirational story with slow-motion soulful stares and portentous narration, on his way to winning the title once more and reclaiming his rightful position as King of the Mountain. So, yeah, be scared of that.



Oh, I am, I am!

Here's a better scenario: Since JJ kept saying he was going to make sure someone other than Mick was champ after Sacrifice, I think he turns, joining the MEM and helping Angle win.

Does everyone who doesn't win in the main event give up what he's putting up, or only the one who eats the pin? If the latter, does that mean that you have to pin Foley to win the belt? I'm going to guess only the one who eats the pin, but the title changes hands regardless, but I don't think they've bothered to explain it.

Sorry, Mick, but Al Snow did much better matches against inanimate objects than you do.

Nice to see Eric Young starting to show signs of being a badass.

Lauren sure made it from Dr. Stevie's office to the interview position quickly. B^)
Hokienautic
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Since: 2.1.02
From: Blacksburg VA

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#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.42
    Originally posted by Peter The Hegemon
    Here's a better scenario: Since JJ kept saying he was going to make sure someone other than Mick was champ after Sacrifice, I think he turns, joining the MEM and helping Angle win.


I've missed the last couple weeks of Impact. Has anything happened that might make impossible my original theory that Jarrett and Foley secretly in cahoots? I'm thinking the two of them will team up to get Angle pinned and we'll be treated to a month or so of the MEM doing the bidding of either Jarrett or Foley.
kentish
Andouille








Since: 19.8.05
From: My Old Kentucky Home

Since last post: 38 days
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#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.64
    Originally posted by Hokienautic
      Originally posted by Peter The Hegemon
      Here's a better scenario: Since JJ kept saying he was going to make sure someone other than Mick was champ after Sacrifice, I think he turns, joining the MEM and helping Angle win.


    I've missed the last couple weeks of Impact. Has anything happened that might make impossible my original theory that Jarrett and Foley secretly in cahoots? I'm thinking the two of them will team up to get Angle pinned and we'll be treated to a month or so of the MEM doing the bidding of either Jarrett or Foley.

If Angle is pinned, does it mean he is out of the Mafia all together, or just no longer the leader? And if someone does pin him, are THEY now the leader of the MEM?




"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."

-- Mahatma Gandhi
Karlos the Jackal
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Since: 2.1.02
From: The City of Subdued Excitement

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#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.00
    Originally posted by kentish
    If Angle is pinned, does it mean he is out of the Mafia all together, or just no longer the leader? And if someone does pin him, are THEY now the leader of the MEM?
My impression: 1) He's just "demoted," and 2) Yes. But now that you mention it, I'm not sure if I think that because they said that, of if I'm just assuming.

---

In other news, here's some interesting stuff that probabl doesn't deserve its own thread.

According to Jeremy Borash's Twitter (twitter.com), Shane Sewell's been released and TNA "has come to terms with a well known female wrestler. Should be a great addition to the Knockouts!"

No surprise with Shane; he fizzled out really quickly. As for the "well known female wrestler," it could be someone that we already know about, like Ayako Hamada. I guess it could be someone else (Victoria?), but how many Knockouts can they fit on the roster?

Well, Roxxi's departure opens up a spot, I guess, and I've seen rumors that Rhaka Khan's been let go -- nothing dependable -- at the least, though, according to Wrestling Observer-via-411 (411mania.com), she's off TV until she "improves" -- which could take years!

Speaking of Knockouts, this week's Webmatch is Daffney vs. Raisha Saeed. I know most people hate the Saeed gimmick, but I really like her ring gear. Check it out: Click Here (youtube.com)

--K



Last 5 movies seen: Paul Blart: Mall Cop **1/2 - Last Chance Harvey *** - Doubt **** - Burn After Reading n/a - The Princess Bride n/a
KJames199
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Since: 10.12.01
From: #yqr

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 25 min.
#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.26
    Originally posted by Karlos the Jackal
    According to Jeremy Borash's Twitter (twitter.com), Shane Sewell's been released and TNA "has come to terms with a well known female wrestler. Should be a great addition to the Knockouts!"
According to Meltzer, it's

Spoiler Below: Highlight text to read
Victoria, using her real name of Lisa Marie Varon. He says she'll be debuting at this week's Impact tapings.
Meltzer also says that

Spoiler Below: Highlight text to read
Shane Douglas and Raven
will be making their TNA returns at the tapings this week.



JK: LJ, FB, T
Quezzy
Knackwurst








Since: 6.1.02
From: The Moon

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#14 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.54
That first bit of news there is great. The second? Not so much, and I'm actually huge fans of both.



Lance's Response:

THAT IS AWESOME!
Karlos the Jackal
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Since: 2.1.02
From: The City of Subdued Excitement

Since last post: 9 days
Last activity: 11 hours
#15 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.00
    Originally posted by Quezzy
    That first bit of news there is great. The second? Not so much, and I'm actually huge fans of both.
I mostly agree, but it depends --

Spoiler Below: Highlight text to read
Shane wasn't even wrestling at the end of his last TNA run, he was managing the Naturals and doing backstage interview bits, both of which were good uses of him. If he's coming back not to wrestle but to talk then I'm all for it.
As for

Spoiler Below: Highlight text to read
Raven, geez, but he looked awful at the end of his TNA run. I've read that he had thyroid issues or something, so maybe he's in better shape now. I like the guy but I'm not sure I need to see him in a ring again.

Finally, the first person mentioned --

Spoiler Below: Highlight text to read
well, I think we've found the new face of the Knockout Division. I'm not delighted that another near-40-year-old ex-WWEer is going o immediately shoot to the top of her division, but -- man, it's Victoria, and I have to make an exception for her. I'm really looking forward to Victoria/Kong -- that's as close to a dream match as I think is possible for the Knockout Division.


--K



Last 5 movies seen: Paul Blart: Mall Cop **1/2 - Last Chance Harvey *** - Doubt **** - Burn After Reading n/a - The Princess Bride n/a
Quezzy
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Since: 6.1.02
From: The Moon

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#16 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.54
Good points. I actually wouldn't mind if either of the formal World Champions were in TNA in some kind of manager/mentor role. Both of them beats listening to Jarrett all night. I just don't want to see either wrestle. Maybe one of them is Taz's mentor instead of the rumored Taz.



Lance's Response:

THAT IS AWESOME!
Matt Tracker
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Since: 8.5.03
From: North Carolina

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 41 sec.
#17 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.73
In this instance, reviving an old WWF/E team seems like the best option.


Spoiler Below: Highlight text to read
Stevie/Victoria




"To be the man, you gotta beat demands." -- The Lovely Mrs. Tracker
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After all of the hype about Rhino's promos & he gets this? ... Geez ... So Kazarian's back with a haircut? After not wanting to cut it for WWE? Well, at least Matt Bentley is probably happy.
- Mayhem, TNA Victory Road 2006 (2006)
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