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The W - Pro Wrestling - TNA Impact #473 8.1.13
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Since: 5.11.08
From: Framingham, MA

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 7 hours
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.38
The Recap for TNA Impact 8.1.13, from Wichita Falls, TX.

Tazz finds himself locked out and banned from the arena by orders of Hulk Hogan. He's less than pleased and threatens to put all the security guys out of their jobs and into New York Pizzerias instead, but they don't budge (albeit apologetically) and Tazz has no way in.

Last week, Bully Ray tried to get his title back by suing TNA, but Hogan wasn't having any of that and booked him in the title rematch at Hardcore Justice instead.

We open the show with Tenay and Borash talking about the #August1Warning ( videos, speculating who it could be. Borash introduces the final clip which was received earlier, and the mystery person promises a shocking arrival. The speculation online is that this is Low Ki, and it does kinda look like him.

Austin Aries is out for the opening promo and is regaled with an "Austin Aries" chant from the crowd. Though there are many things going on in Impact Wrestling, Aries is focused on the World Title. He congratulates Sabin for winning it, but predicts that his reign will not last beyond Bound for Glory, because Aries will take the Series and win the title. Aries hypes his main event match with AJ Styles tonight, calling it the ultimate dream match everyone at home and everyone working for TNA has been waiting for - the man who put TNA on his back for a decade versus the man who will put TNA on his back for the next decade.

Bobby Roode is out to interrupt - he's been missing in action since his meltdown a couple of weeks ago. Roode says he's been living a nightmare since Aries beat him for the World Title. Roode claims that people have forgotten how good he is, and so wants to remind them that he's the longest-reigning TNA World Champion in history. Roode promises that things will change starting tonight, because he's going back to what brought him to the dance. It pays to be Roode. Aries wants Roode to meet him in the finals of the BFG Series so he can beat him again. Aries wishes him luck for his match against Hernandez and walks off. 1 for 1. Good start to the show - hyping the main event is always a good idea. The promos from Aries and Roode were suitably intense and they left me with a sense of anticipation of what would follow.

Match 1: BFG Series: Hernandez (7) v Bobby Roode (0)
Roode attacks Hernandez during his entrance and we head to a commericial straight away. Back from the break, Roode is in control with a slam and a elbow to the jaw for 1. Hernandez bodyblocks him down but misses a charge in the corner. Roode heads up but jumps right into a punch, setting up the overhead backbreaker. Roode escapes and gets the spinebuster for 2. Roode dumps him outside to introduce his shoulder to the post, and gets 2 off that back inside. Roode misses his own corner charge, leading to a fight at the turnbuckle. He wants a superplex, but Hernandez is too strong and knocks him off. He wants a splash but lands in the Crossface instead and is forced to power out with a back suplex. Hernandez makes a comeback, nailing him with the Air Mexico. Roode escapes the Border Toss, momentarily distracting the referee in the process, and takes advantage of the situation with a low blow AND a tights-assisted rollup, but it only gets 2. Roode is rightly freaked out and starts tossing chairs in the ring, sending the poor referee scampering to get rid of them. In the chaos, Roode shatters a beer bottle over Hernandez's head and that's game at 6 minutes. 2 for 2. Good match, the right result, a nice story, and an absolutely hideous finish. I get what they were going for, but the shards of that beer bottle were strewn over the ring and right in the ref's field of vision.

Kurt Angle tells the Disembodied Interviewer that he plans to make A&E an offer they cannot refuse. Rampage Jackson throws in an "aw yeah" like a featured artist on a rap track.

TNA's favorite couple, ODB and Eric Young are backstage. ODB is excited about returning to the ring tonight, but Young can't join her at ringside because he's got to take care of Joseph Park. ODB is understanding and leaves him to his own devices. Young presents Park with a bag that contains all the answers. Park is circumspect, but Young doesn't want him to worry.

Chris Sabin runs into Manik backstage and congratulates him on winning the X-Division title. Manik says he accomplished nothing for 15 years as TJ Perkins and donning the mask has been a rebirth. Sabin points out that while they're not the biggest or strongest guys, they have the most heart. Sabin wants Manik to bring his best to the ring tonight, because he'll be doing the same.

Match 2: BFG Series: Jay Bradley (0) v Joseph Park (-10)
Young gives Park some headgear to prevent a freakout. Bradley smacks him into the corner but it has no effect on Park because he's wearing headgear. So Bradley goes after the headgear, but Park fights him off, only to run into an elbow and a knee to the face for 2. Bradley misses a charge in the corner and gets tangled in the ropes, so Park rolls him up for 2. Bradley regains control and clubs away, getting a flying kneedrop for 2. Bradley grabs a headlock but Park escapes and makes a comeback, heading to the second rope for the finish. Bradley yanks him off with the headgear's strap, but lands in a Boston Crab. Bradley gets to the ropes and fights back with an ugly backbreaker and finally succeeds in pulling the headgear off. He wants the Boomstick, but runs into a Samoan Drop and that's it in 4 minutes. 2 for 3. Pretty crappy match, though it's not really Park's fault. Park is a competent wrestler playing an incompetent wrestler, but Bradley is not the guy to work a good match around that. Still loving the Joseph Park character though.

The MEM hold a meeting backstage, but no one has any idea who the August 1 person is. Sting reiterates their goals from last week, and Angle reiterates his intentions of making an offer to A&E, in case you forgot over the last twenty minutes or so. Rampage Jackson states that he wants to fight no matter what they say, but sounds more wooden than Keanu Reeves in The Matrix: Revolutions.

Match 3: Champion v Champion: TNA World Champion Chris Sabin v X-Division Champion Manik
Well, if they were serious about Sabin, this would've been the main event. In any case, we take it to the mat in the early going and they both get 2-counts out of a monkey-flip battle. They try kicking each other, but neither can connect, so they take a break and so do we. Back from the commercial, Sabin sends Manik into the corner, where he does a headstand. Sabin pushes him off and drops him on the apron, and rolls him back in for 2. Snap suplex gets 2. Sabin grabs a chinlock and transitions into a surfboard, and they fight over that. Manik manages to escapes with some kicks and evades Sabin's attacks, finally nailing a standing rana. Springboard legdrop and dropkick get 2 for Manik. Sabin's kick gets caught and he eats a powerbomb for 2. Manik heads to the top but Sabin crotches him and they fight at the turnbuckle. Sabin wins that with a HUGE superplex, but it only gets 2. They slug it out, but Manik runs right into a kick. Sabin wants to finish but Manik counters into the PUMA Crush. Sabin escapes THAT and rolls him up but it won't put Manik away. A cracking superkick and the Hail Sabin get the job done in 12 minutes, however. 3 for 4. Energetic match, though you can already see the reaction to Sabin petering out. And that's got more to do with TNA treating their World Champion like a fluke than anything else. Postmatch, Bully Ray beats Sabin down but stops to teach Manik a lesson or two, allowing Sabin to make his own save. Sabin wants more of Ray, but he wisely retreats. Where are the A&E?

Tazz, still pissed that he's stuck outside the arena, wants to reveal the secret of the August 1 Warning and has located the white limo that arrived earlier. Tazz opens the door but it's just a laptop playing the August 1 videos.

The Disembodied Interviewer catches up with Bad Influence, and I cannot stress how much it pleases me to see the return of Christopher Daniels' APPLETINI~! Daniels says TNA has been trying to brew discontent between himself and Kaz for too long, and they will not succeed. Kaz calls their match next week "ludicrous" and Daniels explains that it puts them in a bad position as he is undefeated, and Kaz is winless. Kaz takes offense to his tone, but Daniels won't back down, telling Kaz he will not give him the points. Kazarian promises to take them instead, and spills Daniles' drink before walking off. NOT THE APPLETINI~! Kidding aside, this is tremendous stuff from these two.

Match 4: Gail Kim v ODB
ODB spears her right off the bat and kicks her ass, forcing Kim up the ramp. Gail tries in vain to put some distance between herself and ODB. Back inside, Gail counters an Irish whip in the corner but eats boot for her troubles. They fight over the turnbuckle, ODB gets kicked off, and Gail controls with a running dropkick for 2. Gail stops to show off to the crowd, allowing ODB a way back into the match. Gail wins the ensuing slugfest and gets her midriff bodyblock in the corner, but it won't finish. Kim keeps trying, but ODB comes back with a fallway slam and a running powerslam for 2. Gail stops a corner splash but gets dumped. She tries the ringpost figure-four, but ODB counters by pulling her face-first into the post. Yikes. ODB heads out, but now Gail sends her into the steps and that's a double countout in 6 minutes. 3 for 5. Nothing much to see here.

AJ Styles, who is currently somewhere between Kane and Jeff Hardy-levels of wrestling emoness, tells us that he's no longer a wide-eyes kid and mocks the "dream" match tonight. In AJ's world, there's no place for dreams, and no place for heroes. Tonight, he will become Austin Aries' nightmare.

Bully Ray is hosting the A&E meeting, and he doesn't seem overly bothered about the MEM's offer. He promises to destroy Sabin at Hardcore Justice and puts Mr. Anderson in charge of dealing with the Main Event Mafia. Brooke Hogan shows up as he's about to leave and implies that if Ray loses at Hardcore Justice, there will be a stipulation that will force him to grant Brooke a divorce.

Match 5: BFG Series: AJ Styles (22) v Austin Aries (14)
The first exchange doesn't go according to plan for Aries, so he takes a breather outside. The next one is much more even, with Aries flipping out a wristlock, and Styles dodging a dropkick. Styles nearly rolls through into the Calf Killer, but Aries catches him with a front chancery, leading to a stalemate. Aries rolls him up off the next lockup and heads outside, but AJ splats on a dive and Aries nails him with an axehandle. Aries brings him back inside and heads up, but Styles dropkicks him, sending him tumbling to the outside. AJ gets his dive in now, and we head to a commercial.

Back from the break, AJ controls with a dropkick and stops a minor Aries flurry with a waistlock. Styles drops him on his head off a dragon suplex and Aries rolls out to regroup. Back in, AJ grabs a headlock, but Aries fights out. Roaring Elbow and clothesline set up a suplex, but AJ blocks it only to fall victim to a backslide for 2. Styles dumps him out onto the apron, but Aries fights back and neckbreakers (neckbreaks?) him on the ropes. Missile dropkick and the IED dropkick set up the Brainbuster, but AJ escapes. AJ turns a superplex into a neckbreaker but misses with a springboard 450 and lands in the Last Chancery! AJ escapes and finds the Calf Killer, but Aries escapes THAT and gets the Brainbuster! Damn! That only gets 2, so Aries ups the stakes with the 450 but hits knees. Styles tries to springboard in but Aries hits him in the motion and sends him outside. They fight over a suplex on the ramp and that goes badly for Aries as he nearly winds up eating the Styles Clash. Instead, AJ gets backdropped onto the floor, but he avoids the Heat-Seeking Missile and Aries hits the steps. Jeez. Eventually they make it back in the ring to slug it out, and Aries wins with the Brainbuster, but AJ catches him with the PELE on the way down! Both of them cover each other but Aries gets the shoulder up at 2. AJ doesn't, and that's 7 points for Aries in 18 minutes. 4 for 6. Stick a real finish onto that, and it's a frontrunner for the free TV match of the year.

The MEM are out to make their offer to the Aces and Eights. Sting mentions that they're halfway done with their objectives but before Kurt Angle can make the actual offer, Mr. Anderson and the rest of A&E interrupt. Anderson assures the MEM that the Aces came ready to fight dirty, but Angle wants a 5-on-5 match at Hardcore Justice where the wrestler being pinned has to leave the company. That's pretty lame. Why not have a stip where the losing group has to disband or something? Why choose for this risky, death-by-a-thousand-needles approach? Anyway, Samoa Joe reminds us that this is not a negotiation and apparently them's fighting words because now a huge brawl breaks out. MEM clear the ring, and Anderson accepts the challenge. And now the lights go out and bald Tito Ortiz shows up on the ramp. Neither group know how to react to him, so everyone kind of just stands there, staring at each other. Rampage Jackson doesn't seem overly pleased. And that's how we end it this week. 4 for 7. Well, that was a clunker of a finish to an otherwise solid show. I don't care about MMA and so the reveal of Tito Ortiz did nothing for me, and the crowd didn't seem overly enamored with him either. It's difficult for me to look forward to anything involving him when I know he can't deliver a proper wrestling match.

Wrestling Counter: 46 minutes.

A solid show, featuring a lot of good-to-great wrestling, marred by an anticlimactic finish that was personally very unsatisfying for me. The opening promo and the two features matches delivered, and the Aries/Styles match is well worth checking out, but what the hell was up with EVERY SINGLE MATCH having a crappy finish? Seemed like they dug into their well of horrible endings and went all out this week. All that aside, I can't really hate on a two-hour show featuring 46 minutes of competent wrestling, and so I will watch again next week.

(edited by used2bcool on 2.8.13 1939)
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Since: 20.6.02

Since last post: 1147 days
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#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.86
I'm not really well versed in all things MMA, so I'm not really sure who Tito Ortiz is. Will he be a good addition to TNA's roster?

I admit, I was hoping the mystery man behind the #August1Warning was a guy named August Juan or August Furst.

...on a roll!

Since: 5.11.08
From: Framingham, MA

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 7 hours
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.38
My understanding is that Ortiz is not really there to wrestle for TNA. He's in the main event against Rampage Jackson on the next Bellator MMA pay-per-view (Bellator are TNA's "MMA Partner" by virtue of both being on Spike TV) and his appearance on Impact is a cross-promotional effort. I get the business side of things, but in terms of the wrestling program in isolation, this was a mighty disappointing reveal.

Since: 10.12.01
From: #yqr

Since last post: 2 days
Last activity: 4 min.
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.52
    Originally posted by Oliver
    I'm not really well versed in all things MMA, so I'm not really sure who Tito Ortiz is. Will he be a good addition to TNA's roster?
Old. Very beat up. Shouldn't be fighting anymore. Was a big star 10 years ago. Until recently, was married (common-law, I think) to porn star Jenna Jameson. Has done very little pro wrestling (or none at all? maybe in Japan? who knows/cares) and won't be any good at it, assuming he does any.

(edited by KJames199 on 2.8.13 1415)

Since: 1.5.02
From: California.

Since last post: 1231 days
Last activity: 152 days
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.00
    Originally posted by Oliver
    I'm not really well versed in all things MMA, so I'm not really sure who Tito Ortiz is. Will he be a good addition to TNA's roster?

Tito was arguably the most popular fighter in America during the least popular 1999-2003ish MMA years. He's 1-7-1 in the last six years, and that one win was one of the biggest surprises of 2011, after which he was then destroyed three additional times and retired. This will be the third time that he has un-retired. Most famous for beating up Ken Shamrock repeatedly, so if you can think about how incredibly long it has been since Ken goddamn Shamrock was relevant, that's basically Tito.

Really, the biggest problem: Bellator is throwing all their money and hype behind the real fight between Ortiz and Rampage, meaning there is absolutely zero chance they do any actual wrestling, as either getting injured would kill Bellator. Add that neither is all that good at doing promos and they're just sort of useless for TNA's purposes.

So, to answer your question: No. God, no.
Boudin rouge

Since: 10.7.11
From: San Francisco, CA

Since last post: 25 days
Last activity: 17 hours
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.05
I was expecting August Warning to be Eric "3 Minute Warning" Bischoff what with the Hummer limo and all. My other guesses were Matt Morgan (also realistic), DOC (more realistic than Morgan), and Goldberg (realistic prediction fail).

When Tito came out my initial thoughts were, "Who?" followed by "Oh, probably some MMA guy. Meh." When they actually said Tito Ortiz's name, I became impressed though. I'm not an MMA fan, but I've heard his name talked about enough to perceive him as a big deal. (Unlike King Mo, Rampage Jackson, or that football player who joined Immortal for one episode.)

On a scale from DOC to Goldberg, Tito strikes me as much closer to the Goldberg end rather than the Director of Chaos end.

(Also, I'm disappointed in Aces and Eights for leaving the crucial Director of Chaos position unfilled. How can we have chaos if it is not directed well. I wonder if that Director role is appointed by the President, or elected by the general membership. I would like to nominate Knux for the office.)

Since: 28.2.02

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#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.87
Ironically for Tito, I would've been way more psyched for Ken Shamrock. His ankle lock war with Kurt Angle has been put off for TOO LONG.

"Never piss off a hawk with a blowgun" - Conan O'Brien

Since: 2.1.02

Since last post: 4 days
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#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.80
I wouldn't be shocked if you told me Shamrock was a vegetable these days.He is exhibit A of things we did not know about head trauma.

Since: 7.11.02
From: Riderville, SK

Since last post: 16 days
Last activity: 18 hours
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.60
    Originally posted by KJames199
      Originally posted by Oliver
      I'm not really well versed in all things MMA, so I'm not really sure who Tito Ortiz is. Will he be a good addition to TNA's roster?
    Old. Very beat up. Shouldn't be fighting anymore. Was a big star 10 years ago. Until recently, was married (common-law, I think) to porn star Jenna Jameson. Has done very little pro wrestling (or none at all? maybe in Japan? who knows/cares) and won't be any good at it, assuming he does any.

    (edited by KJames199 on 2.8.13 1415)
I don't know about Japan, but Tito actually was guest ref in TNA a couple times in 2005.

I am why James is crying.

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man how can we forget his classic line from his WCW days, "Mean..Whoooooooooo! god Gene" he he i still crack up thinking about it.
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