Recap for TNA Impact 4.2.09, from the Impact Zone in Orlando, FL.
- We open the show with recaps from last week, leading to Jeff Jarrett making an entrance. JJ explains that while Joe wants to be a part of Lethal Lockdown, he has no interest in being a captain. JJ says as founder, it is his responsibility to pick the captain, so he picks AJ Styles! Good call, TNA! He puts over Styles, calling him TNA's only grand slam champion. Styles doesn't want to be captain because he feels that he's let Jarrett down. He says JJ took a chance on the Originals and they all failed. Styles proposes that JJ lead the team, and guarantees that "we will not let you down, not this time." Steiner heads to the ring, supposedly as Jarrett's "friend of 20 years." He says Jarrett has nothing in common with the punks that he will be leading at Lethal Lockdown. Steiner brings up Jarrett's wife and how she told him to take care of the kids before she passed. Steiner wants JJ to join the Mafia, it seems. Styles challenges him to a match instead, and Scotty accepts.
- JB is backstage with Angle to get his ideas about Steiner's offer to JJ. Angle says everything is in place and he endorses the idea. What, did he just forget about their blood feud that was going on, you know, last week? Angle says JJ belongs in the Mafia. He also tells Nash to "charm the pants off the bitch" so that Jenna Morasca won't be investing any money into TNA.
- Backstage, Lauren gives Sheik Abdul Bashir 15 seconds to express himself. What is this, a reality show voteout? He is joined by No Limit and Kiyoshi, and they plot the fall of America. Right.
8-Man Tag: Sheik Abdul Bashir, No Limit, and Kiyoshi over LAX and Lethal Consequences when Bashir pinned Creed with the WMD in 4 minutes. The very definition of an Impact Special, and one that was not paid much attention to by the announcers. Decent enough action, going *3/4 on the PES.
- Backstage, JB wants a word with JJ, but gets Foley instead. Jarrett says he never thought he'd regret letting Foley buy a part of TNA. He contemplates joining the Mafia but Foley rightly reminds him that no one wants to see "big guys who get along" and that they need the Mafia. Jarrett questioned Foley's leadership credentials. Why has Jarrett suddenly u-turned and started thinking about joining the MEM?
- Backstage, Cornette owes Team 3D a favor, and is about to give it to them before the MEM security challenge them to a match. Cornette gets in a nice dig about loudmouth Italians, but I think 3D accepted the challenge.
- The beautiful People remind us that we should be happy to be breathing the same air as them and promise to cut Taylor Wilde's hair tonight.
- Tenay conducts a sitdown interview with Foley. Foley calls Sting a "smug, arrogrant, condescending" prick and says that that was the reason he plonked him with a chair. He says he misspoke when he said that the elbowdrop on Sting was the best moment of his career because his career is not over yet. Foley says he had no thought of becoming TNA champ six months ago, but now, "Why the hell not?"
- A session with Abyss and Dr. Stevie. Abyss says he's accepted a Doomsday Chamber of Blood match against Matt Morgan at the PPV. So much for therapy. Dr. Stevie, upset at this utter failure, closes the door to his room and proceeds to SLAPPING THE SHIT out of Abyss! He then gets him to accept another session next week. Now that's a wicked therapist.
- Rough Cuts on Team 3D.
Match 2: Team 3D over MEM Security when they pinned Sal with the 3D in 4 minutes. Match sucked. 1/2*. Postmatch, Rocco(!) wipes out 3D with chairs, leading to Beer Money making the save. They tease hitting Team 3D, but hand them the IWGP titles instead. RESPACK!
- Backstage, Foley complains to JB about JJ being a "party pooper." What is he, 10 years old? Samoa Joe shows up with this fuckin sling blade and demands the Mafia, knowing Foley can make it happen. Foley tells him he'll see what he can do if Joe puts his knife away.
- Backstage, Lauren wants them to explain their actions. Roode says they want 3D to be at their best at Lockdown, no injuries. That way, when they win at Lockdown, there will be no doubt as to who's the best tag team in the business. Storm says they have 3D's back till Lockdown. He wants them to bring their crazy fans just so he can see the look on their faces when Beer Money are announced as winners.
- Kurt Angle is out to make a public apology to Sting and asks him to come down. Sting does, and Angle puts HIMSELF over for being man enough to admit he was wrong. That's a dick heel right there! Angle recaps all the bad things he did to Sting, but defends himself by saying that Sting would know why he was so paranoid if he'd lived Kurt's life. He wants to "humble himself and apologize," but Sting calls bullshit. He says the MEM was about respect, and Kurt doesn't have any. He calls Angle a spoiled brat, but Angle says he is who he is and apologizes again. Sting wants none of it and start walking away, but Nash calls him back. Nash wants to know what happened to the other cheek, but Sting doesn't want to go there. Nash begs for Sting to make it right, but Sting is having none of it. Foley appears in the rafters with a barbed-wire baseball bat, saying he's getting re-acquainted with an old friend, and since he wants Sting to be in top shape, he's given him a non-title match against Joe tonight.
- Still no sign of any real wrestling.
- The Governor is with Dr. Stevie, except she's Daffney again! That's one thing TNA has done right with this show! She talks about how it was all good fun when they pranked TBP, but then they cut her hair off. She says the old feelings came back and starts crying. Ok, this is still 100x interesting than the Governor character.
Match 3: Taylor Wilde over Madison Rayne via rollup in 3 minutes. A match, a match! It was bland, though. * on the PES.
- Postmatch, TBP try to cut Taylor's hair, but she escapes. They order Rayne to go after her, but Wilde kicks her ass. They outnumber her eventually and cut off some of her hair. Security tries to break it up, but are SCARED OF RAYNE's FUCKIN SCISSORS! HAHAHA!
- Lauren tries to play spoilsport and tell Jenna Morasca what Angle said about her, but Nash saves the day by luring her away.
Match 4: Scott Stiener over AJ Styles via Chair-Assisted DDT in 10 minutes. Largely forgettable and the dumbass ending with JJ sort of costing AJ the match did absolutely nothing for me. Does Steiner really need protecting? Can he not take a clean fall from an upper-midcard guy? ** on the PES.
- Backstage, Sting says he's certain that Joe has snapped, but he'll survive the match, because that's what he's all about.
Match 5: Sting over Samoa Joe via DQ in 2 minutes. Joe got no reaction when he came out, and Sting got a big pop. Joe spanked some refs, so he got DQd. What a pile of shit! Postmatch, Booker attacks, but Joe kicks his ass as well. Sharmelle shields him from a chairshot, but Joe slings her across his shoulder and heads backstage. I guess we can add kidnapping and possible rape to the already bulging Joe chargesheet.
- End Show.
Wrestling Counter: 23 minutes.
--> This was a mixed bag. There's not nearly enough wrestling here, as TNA seems to think that only endless promo segments can build a PPV. The character development going into the four major player (Sting, Angle, Foley, Jarrett) is excellent and has me looking forward to their respective matches, but you can really get the feel that the rest of the card is really SOL. They've managed to ruin Joe, and I hope they take their hint from today's non-reaction and pull the switch on this abortion of a character sooner rather than later. I like the more serious Beer Money, and they handled the respect thing very well. But on the other hand, the Knockouts division is floundering badly. One good, one bad. Wonder how long it takes for TNA to stop repeatedly shooting themselves in the foot...
--> **1/4 on the PES.
Forfeit the game, before somebody else takes you outta the game, and puts your name to shame Cover up your face, you can't run the race The pace is too fast, you just won't last - "Points Of Authority" - Linkin Park
The character development going into Jarrett is fucking absurd. Why in God's name would he suddenly start considering the MEM as potential allies? That's like Austin suddenly deciding to think about joining the Corporation. Its nonsense designed to build fake suprise for when Foley turns and joins the MEM.
Also, what a pussy AJ is. He was practically fellating JJ WHILST pointing out how pathetic the Frontline are.
I'm so torn. I reaaaly want to see Daffney again, but I don't want to sit through Impact. Also the session with Dr. Stevie and Abyss was pretty awesome. It felt like an extension of Right to Censor Steven Richards. I wonder if they are planning a small stable in which Dr. Stevie controls Abyss and Daffney through psychotherapy?
I'm gonna end my comments on the show here on a positive note.
I actually have really, really enjoyed the last couple of episodes, after being very down on the show leading up into Destination X. Do all of the stories make perfect sense? No, especially the stuff about JJ potentially joining the Mafi. But it's mostly interesting at least, and backed up with good promos.
More specific thoughts:
Daffney, yes! The Governor gimmick was stupid and I'm glad enough they got rid of it, but to make her Daffney again is extra-cool. We needed a crazy goth girl now that Roxie's just foul-mouthed.
Beer Money playing mind games with the Dudleyz. I just love Beer Money in general, really, which surprises me as I used to hate Roode as a single.
I understand some of the basic idea behind the Jarrett thing, the idea that, however much faith he has in the young guys and wants them to succeed, he's known the Mafia (and Scott particularly) for much longer, and that, while feuds may come and go and grudges can be solved in the ring, he's never going to be as close to say, A.J., as he is to Steiner. All of this would work much better if Kurt Angle hadn't been threatening to kill Jeff in front of his children and making fun of their dead mother while Scott just nodded in the background. Still, outside of its overall context, the promos were good and Steiner was actually pretty coherent.
I'm glad to see Dr. Stevie going somewhere, and I second the idea of Stevie managing Daffney and Abyss as a sort of domineering control freak. Stevie's a good megalomaniac.
I really appreciated the more restrained Kurt tonight. I have been on the verge of outright hating him for the last few months (and I'm not entirely over the hump yet). He's just overexposed, at this point. He's been wrapped up in the primary, dominant angles in TNA ever since he got in the company. Even when he isn't champion or contending for the title, he's been the centerpiece. I'd love it if he'd just take six months or so off, take a nice vacation, relax, make sure he's 100 percent. Maybe a 'mental health' break.
Speaking (again) of mental health, apparently one of TNA's themes, I really do like the idea that MEM's indomitable status, while stupid booking, actually has consequences. In this case, driving the frustrated babyfaces insane. Samoa Joe becomes a homicidal maniac, Foley begins to get delusions of grandeur and comes out of retirement, Don West gets Stockholm Syndrome...so long as it doesn't turn the Mafi into babyfaces. Because no good can come of that.
I wish they wouldn't drag the Japanese contingent down with the perpetual lodestone that is Bashir. No one on the whole show makes me fast-forward faster than that lazy, mediocre stereotype.
So, are Kong and the Beautiful People NOT going to feud now? Because I'm much more interested in that than Taylor Wilde or anything involving Madison Rayne (perhaps the least exciting roster addition in recent times).
The most exciting thing for me in the end is that Joe, for the first time in ages, looked like a monster. He just ate Sting alive out there. He casually kicked away the Scorpion Deathlock and pretty much just pounded Sting into putty. Might not be the best thing to do to your World Champion, but I'll forgive it after months of anyone not in the MEM looking credible as a main eventer. That said, the walking off with Sharmell thing (along with the "Hit her!" egging on from the crowd) wasn't really needed. I wish they could keep the crazy aggression without feeling the need to go Shock TV about it.
"Never piss off a hawk with a blowgun" - Conan O'Brien
Best part of the show to me was Rocco(the fat(ter)) MEM Security guy trying to climb to the top rope. You could tell by the look on his face that he was completely blown up and didn't want to do it. It took FOREVER for him just to start climbing and nearly forever to get to the top, if he even made it to the top. I think Team 3D threw him off when he was on the 2nd rope.
Originally posted by GodEatGodI'm glad to see Dr. Stevie going somewhere, and I second the idea of Stevie managing Daffney and Abyss as a sort of domineering control freak. Stevie's a good megalomaniac.
Might he finally get his shot to continue the tradition of Raven? Sure, he's led a stable before, but he never had a chance to commander the Flock in WCW, right? He left before the Flock really got going, I think.
"To be the man, you gotta beat demands." -- The Lovely Mrs. Tracker
Even if you didn't trust CRZ's spelling (and why wouldn't you? The man has been spelling wrestlers' names for YEARS), you could always look it up on WWF.com. In fact, I'll do it for you... hang on... Faarooq is how they spell it.