The Quick and Dirty for TNA Impact 2.26.09, from Orlando, FL.
Well, that's a shitty show title if ever I heard one.
Match 1: The Beautiful People over Madison Rayne and Taylor Wilde when Sky pinned Wilde with the Beautiful Backstabber in about 5 minutes. Wow! This was longer than I expected and far better than it had any right to be. Apart from the infinitely dumb finish of Rayne first checking on Wilde, and then turning on her and walking out, this was rather enjoyable. ** on the PES.
- Backstage, JB is unhappy that Angle's not answering his text messages. Angle says the MEM will make a statement but not now. Two cops come around looking for "Mr. Huffman." Booker says he'll join them outside. INTRIGUE~! Steiner and Angle act like they don't know Booker's last name is Huffman. Hmm.
Off The Wagon Challenge - Beer Money over Rock and Rave Infection when Roode pinned Rock after a Storm beltshot in about 4 minutes. A decent enough match, though predictable. I also have to question the decision of Beer Money having to cheat AND use weapons to beat Rock and Rave. It's Beer Money, so we'll go **1/4 on the PES.
- Elsewhere, Sting arrives! And ignored Borash!
- Elsewhere still, Booker's dressing room is a mess. Booker throws a fit, saying he needs to be locked up before he starts hurting little ladies. He wants Styles to be jailed forever.
- Abyss has another session with Dr. Stevie, telling him that blood reminds him of Christmas morning. Huh? Same shit, different day. Speaking of that, tune into next week!
- ODB has more suitors, most of whom look like cyber sex offenders.
- Elsewhere, Booker is trying to convince the cops to put Styles away forever. The cops want none of that shit, though, so they drive away. Styles attacks and they brawl before security separates them.
- Elsewhere, Scott Steiner is less than pleased at Styles. He promises to kick Joe's ass in a room full of donuts. Joe shows up with a fuckin sling blade to put a stop to that. He mentions that the Nation of Violence is a pain far greater than death and torture. He tells him not to make a noise and tosses him aside. THE FUCK WAS THAT? The announcers act like they see this every other day.
- JB talks to JJ, who says wrestling is an individual sport and that no team lasts for too long. He says that the MEM will not last as well, and business will be back to usual.
- Hardcore History 101.
- Tenay is mid-ring for your obligatory MEM promo. They all come down, including Sting. Tenay asks them about last week, and Nash says that they're still tight. It's the same old rhetoric, no one can break us up but us, we run shit, yadda yadda. Nash gets on Angle and Sting's case, who're string at each other like pouty 6-year-old girls. He tells them to respect the family. JJ come out to stir up shit. He puts over Sting and knows that he's not buying this shit "for one minute." He asks him where the integrity is in having one of your so-called "brothers" spit on your face. JJ books Angle v Sting for the next PPV and the contract signing is later tonight. Booker is less than pleased, but JJ is sorry about his damn luck!
- At the announce booth, West rails on Tenay. Huh? West says his future was brought up at a meeting and Tenay did nothing to defend him. Well, who would? West storms off, telling Tenay to shove a mic up his ass. This is the most interesting West has been in years!
- Rhaka Khan and SoJo head to the ring to discuss their issues with Raisha Saeed and Awesome Kong, which definitely did not exist last week. Well, that's it for the Kongtourage.
Match 3: Sojourner Bolt and Rhaka Khan over Awesome Kong and Raisha Saeed when Bolt pinned Saeed with a backslide in about 5 minutes. They gave this five minutes, which is a step in the right direction. But they gave THIS 5 minutes, which is not a smart decision. A shitty match to say the least. Kong kills bitches afterwards, including Awesome Bombing Bolt onto Khan. 1/2* for the beatdown on the PES. Tenay working solo is taking a bad thing and making it worse.
- Rough Cuts on Ultimate X.
Ladder Match, X-Division Title: Alex Shelley over Chris Sabin, Jay Lethal, and Consequences Creed in about 9 minutes. In classic Boneheaded TNA fashion, only about 5 minutes of this escaped the commercial break. It was short, but the finish was hot, so we'll go **1/2 on the PES.
- Postmatch, Suicide attacks Shelley and tosses him off the ladder before disappearing. Tell me why I'm supposed to care.
Main Event Interview: Jarrett heads to the ring with contract and guitar in tow. He introduces Angle, prompting the whole MEM (sans Sting) to come to the ring. Nash says it doesn't have to be this way, and threatens Jarrett. Jarrett wonders who the boss is and questions Angle's testicular fortitude, so Angle signs the contract and smacks Jarrett with the clipboard. Foley ("Hardcore Leopard" to quote Randy Harrison (411mania.com) ) comes in for the save, but Angle catches him with the Ankle lock instead. Sting jogs down and wipes out Angle with the bat. Sting signs the contract as the rest of the Mafia look on in disdain.
- End Show.
Wrestling Counter: 23 minutes.
--> This was your standard, overbooked, shitty mess of a TNA show. There's too much going on, with not enough focus on any one storyline to make me really care. What the hell was the deal with Joe holding a knife to Steiner's throat and then everyone acting like nothing unusual happened. At the end of the night, it's just a blur with nothing to take away. The one match that had potential was utterly shafted by the commercial break. A horrendous follow-up of a show after a few weeks of above-par television from TNA.
Forfeit the game, before somebody else takes you outta the game, and puts your name to shame Cover up your face, you can't run the race The pace is too fast, you just won't last - "Points Of Authority" - Linkin Park
Does anyone else remember when TNA considered them the family friendly alternative? What a change.
So, Petey Williams loses his job and gets a damn near standing ovation and some extra time on the camera. It was a nice touch...but when Lance Rock gets kicked out, they switch to commercials almost immediately? Come on, now. Love him or not, Lance Rock was really entertaining during his tenure with TNA.
Originally posted by used2bcoolWow! This was longer than I expected and far better than it had any right to be.
Agreed. Wilde in particular looked really crisp.
Originally posted by used2bcoolBeer Money over Rock and Rave Infection [...]A decent enough match, though predictable.
Yeah, but Rock 'n' Rave Infection looked really good -- I loved Rock's chokeslam backbreaker. This "Off the Wagon" challenge is turning into "here's what these guys COULD do if we weren't canning them."
Originally posted by used2bcoolAbyss has another session with Dr. Stevie, telling him that blood reminds him of Christmas morning. Huh? Same shit, different day.
Yeah. Hopefully this doesn't go on forever. I am still failing to be excited by Stevie, but he does do Machiavellian pretty well, so hopefully that's what this becomes.
Originally posted by used2bcoolODB has more suitors, most of whom look like cyber sex offenders
More Cody Deaner!
Originally posted by used2bcoolElsewhere, Scott Steiner is less than pleased at Styles. He promises to kick Joe's ass in a room full of donuts. Joe shows up with a fuckin sling blade to put a stop to that.
Well, some folks call it a sling blade -- I call it a kaiser blade.
Originally posted by used2bcoolAt the announce booth, West rails on Tenay. Huh? West says his future was brought up at a meeting and Tenay did nothing to defend him. Well, who would? West storms off, telling Tenay to shove a mic up his ass. This is the most interesting West has been in years!
Kinda out of nowhere, huh? Well, they can shake up the announce team a little (Foley, perhaps?), and maybe West can return as a heel manager, which I think might be awesome.
(edited by Karlos the Jackal on 27.2.09 1859) Last 5 movies seen: The Wrestler **** - Body of Lies *** - Dance, Girl, Dance ** - The Land Unknown *1/2 - Trouble in Paradise ***1/2