Kane vs. Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio, World Heavyweight Championship, Tables, Ladders, Chairs Match I'm thinking they put Mysterio and Del Rio into the title match to move the belt onto one of them, and since Mysterio is hurt, I'll make the long shot prediction of Del Rio.
The Miz vs. Randy Orton, WWE Championship, Tables Match Miz wins in a fluke of some sort.
John Cena vs. Wade Barrett, Chairs Match Cena wins, gets jumped by The Nexus afterwards.
John Morrison vs. Sheamus, #1 Contender Ladder Match I can see the logic of having Morrison win to have Miz vs. Morrison at the Rumble, but I don't see it happening. Sheamus wins.
LayCool vs. Natalya & Beth Phoenix, Tables Match Natalya & Beth Phoenix.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger, Intercontinental Championship, Triple-Threat Ladder Match I think they'll keep the belt on Ziggler awhile longer.
1) The Miz represents another baby step away from Vince's infatuation with having a "big man" world champion towards a smaller yet charismatic heel champion. Given the overabundance of faces on the roster, now is the perfect time for a long-reigning heel champion in the mold of Ric Flair. Vince is cognizant of the potential drawing power of having his TV-PG Universe titillated but ultimately frustrated on a weekly basis. Miz's mic skills get the crowd riled up, his smaller stature should indicate that the larger opponents should be able to beat him up, but somehow he wiggles off the hook week after week. Continuing with the Flair comparisons, one of the best (paraphrased) quotes about Flair is that he could have a 5* match with a mop---and Miz will have to prove his ability to carry the black hole that is Randy Orton in a main event match. I hope that we see Miz start taking pages out of Flair's playbook by making Orton look good but weaseling to a victory to retain the belt.
And here's where the limb gets awfully thin:
2) There's two reasons why the WWE would seemingly botch the Cena/Barrett feud this badly: A) Incompetence/Gross negligence (99% probability). You'll get no argument from me that the E has repeatedly proven themselves guilty as charged in this aspect. If they've realized they've cocked up this storyline beyond repair they might be looking to blow this angle off ASAP by having Cena go over clean. You'd then have a logical reason for Barrett's removal from Nexus due to his mismanagement of the whole Cena situation. Barrett is then free to become the singles star he is destined to be while Nexus either disbands or becomes a Smackdown-caliber entity complete with Buff Bagwell-esque midcarders. B) Swerve/full heel turn (1% probability). Why would Barrett rehire Cena against the buildup and storyline logic right before a PPV? Because Barrett needs Cena "reinstated" to be a full and active member of Nexus for the full heel turn. Of all the holes in this logic, the biggest is that there is no babyface involved to turn on in order to execute the heel turn properly. Perhaps this gets strung out until WM and a third party gets involved for Cena to turn on.
Kane. This is certainly difficult to call; it makes sense to use the 4-way to move the belt, but I'm thinking they still want Kane/Taker for the title at Mania. I'll say Kane wins and they set up Kane/Rey at the Rumble and an Edge/ADR feud.
Miz. Way too early to put an end to his run, especially since he's getting some of the mainstream pub the WWE desperately craves. (That's not actually the right reason to keep the belt on Miz, but it leads to the right result.)
Barrett. Cena's been reinstated, so he's kind of one over on the Nexus, so Barrett comes up with some diabolical plan to win and sort of explain why he reinstated Cena.
Sheamus. I think the E is more likely to go heel/heel at the Rumble than to have Miz vs. Morrison as a PPV title match.
Beth/Natalya. With all the heels I'm picking, better go with the faces here.
Swagger. Since they don't seem to be looking to actually ad to the roster (which they probably should), Kofi's going to keep challenging for this belt, so it needs to be off Ziggler.
Bookie: First off, there was a "Simpsons" exactly like what you describe :-) But as far as the rest of what you wrote, the thing is that you're buying the story WWE just put out, that Bret just absolutely refused to give up the belt...