Being a simpsons geek myself I have to join in on this. My question is are we talking about today or any time durning the shows run. Because Homer had this one line to Ned about how Nad only makes little more (I think $75) than himself but this was before the Leftoriam open.
Now maybe I just missed it, but I need a good explanation of why DR thinks Smithers makes *less* than Homer, Lenny, and Carl. I know his apartment isn't exactly the best in town, but isn't he usually busy tucking in Burnsie, washing his eyeballs, serving him breakfast??...it's a 24 hour a day job. He's gotta be loaded.
The only way I could see Smithers making less than Lenny, Carl or Homer is the fact Mr. Burns knows the real reason that Smithers enjoys working for him, and has never let anybody else know of that fact.
He then exploits that fact by paying him a small salary, knowing he has a loyal serf.
Here is Dean's list so it will be easier to see what everyone is talking about. FROM RICHEST TO POOREST:
Hank Scorpio Mr Burns Rainier Wolfcastle Krusty The Clown Mayor Diamond Jim Quimby Dr Hibbert Troy McClure Kent Brockman Superintendent Chalmers Police Chief Clancy Wiggum Pedro The Bumblebee Man Apu Carl Lenny Homer Principal Seymour Skinner Patty Bouvier Selma Bouvier Comic book Guy Ned Flanders Edna Krabbabel Waylon Smithers Dr. Nick Riveria Moe Sideshow Mel Otto Barney Gumble Lionel Hutz Gil Cletus
Principal Skinner has to be lower on the list. Remember, he only makes 25k as a Principal (but then again, he paints houses in the summer). And remember, Krusty did owe lots of money to the IRS, causing his cash stream to diminish. And, considering Ned always has better items and is the owner of his own business (plus Skinner was jealous of him when he was dating Crabapple) I'd put him higher on the list. Where is the female lawyer who occassionally appears (dating Ned, MENSA group)? Her cash value has to be up in the top 10.
Please help control the McMahon population. Have your Triple H's spayed or neutered.
I'm not a fan of the last few seasons, so any character-changing events contained wherein would likely not be reflected below. I'm using Dean's list as a starter and adding a few (and maybe dropping some).
Charles Montgomery Burns Hank Scorpio
I can see the reasoning for putting Hank Scorpio at #1. The Volcano Base W/Deathray, the bikini ninja assassins, the pockets full of sweet, sweet sugar. Other criteria that might put him at #1 would be overpaying for his employees when he raids the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant. But man, think of all that overhead. Scorpio is just throwing money away, while Burns spends practically nothing and has the evil know-how to rebuild his immense fortune in 22 minutes every time he loses it. And think of the overhead on having to maintain the entire East Coast.
Plus, Burns has old money. Ancient money, even. That's better than new money. Scorpio most likely also belongs to some sinister SPECTRE-like organization and has to pay membership dues. Burns built his sun-blocker on the spur of the moment and didn't have to worry about any evil overlords. And he had the Ramones killed. Scorpio, on the other hand, could only afford to buy the Denver Broncos.
*Roger Meyers, Jr. - I don't know how the Chester J. Lampwick lawsuit would change his status, but he does own Itchy & Scratchy Studios and gets all the money from Itchy & Scratchy Land (though you have to factor in Euro Itchy & Scratchy Land as a money drain). Also produced the most successful film of all time, Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie.
Rainier Wolfcastle - Definitely next, despite some late career flops. He also married into money.
*Herb Simpson - Special case, only applies to before the release of The Homer.
Krusty The Clown - Would be higher for owning Krusty-Lu studios, but his crippling addiction to gambling and pornography slides him down the list.
*Lucious Sweet - Drederick Tatum's manager. He's exactly as rich and as famous as Don King, and he looks just like him, too!
Kent Brockman - Bumped him up for winning the lottery, but lower than the above for his conspicuous consumption and the fact that he needed to keep his job.
Mayor Diamond Joe Quimby - Instead of fleeing Springfield, he stayed there and grew fat off kickbacks and slush funds.
*Arthur Crandall - Manager of Gabbo, who was a license to print money for a few weeks there. Had to be worth something.
Troy McClure - Maybe should be ahead of Arthur Crandall, but he does have his vice. I don't know, did Doug McClure have more money than Ray Jay Johnson? Incidentally, the guy who plays McGarnigle would probably fit in here.
*Former President Gerald Ford - Homer's neighbor across the street. Speaking engagements, ya know.
*Malloy, the Springfield Cat Burglar - He's made a living at being a daring cat burglar and escaped at the end. Has to be able to keep up that well-heeled lifestyle in order to justify his accent.
Dr. Julius Hibbert - I guess here. He is the only legit doctor in the city of Springfield and probably The State In Which Springfield Is Located. Also, is a republican. Birc Barlow would be around here, too.
Sideshow Mel - Krusty is nationally syndicated.
The Bumblebee Guy - Local show, so he doesn't make McGarnigle money.
Waylon Smithers - Way too low on the original list. He's above Carl on the chain of command, isn't he?
Superintendent Chalmers Carl Carlson - Homer's supervisor. Police Chief Clancy Wiggum *Hans Moleman - Made money collecting on his various life insurance policies, no doubt Apu - Works 24 hours a day, seven days a week Dr. Nick Riveria - Too low on the list, he's gotta be selling organs Lenny Homer Patty Bouvier Selma Bouvier Ned Flanders - Flanders over Skinner thanks to Burns buying the left-handed stickshift car. Principal Seymour Skinner Comic book Guy Moe - Moe makes more than the below due to his black market activities. Surely picked up Herman's illicit clientele after the blue jeans racket was shut down. Edna Krabbabel Barney Gumble - Would have been higher with his B-Sharps money, but used it to buy the Plow King truck. Otto Lionel Hutz Cletus
Homer is woefully underranked on each list. He has royalties from the B-Sharps album, the monetary prize from his Pulitzer, his house is paid off, and he owns the Denver Broncos. That should punch him higher up the list.
Hank Scorpio-easily the richest guy in the whole series; he's got a giant laser for God's sake! PLus, he invented wearing jeans with a sport coat, and that's sure to get him many royalties. Kent Brockman-Won a ridiculous amount of money on the lottery, and still held on to a high-paying job at Springfeld TV Studios. May have lost some of his millions paying off Ted Kennedy after his llama bit him. Mr. Burns-Also incredibly rich, although not as much as Brockman or Scorpio as he pretty much went bankrupt at one point. Getting $120million for a crappy recycling plant is a darn good deal, though. Krusty-probably has less cash than Sideshow mel due to his various problems, although they may be compensated for by his lucrative Canyonero sponsorship. Still a big goon. Sideshow Mel-Should most definitely be higher-check out the house he and his partner were going to buy. It had it's own bowling aley! Plus, I've a sneaking suspicion he rites mysteries on the side. Moe-Sometimes rolling in it, sometimes broke; he makes thousands on panda and whale-smuggling enterprises and renting his back room out to Viet Cong internment camps, but has a tendency to blow it all by overspending on Helen Hunt soundalikes. The Owner/Operator Of Springfield Retirement Castle-Grandpa donated Bea's millions to this noble cause, remember? Homer-Has had more hare-brained schemes than all other folk put together, and must've squirrelled a lot away in order to take so much time of work. Has been a vigilante, a detective (Marge giggled at his Sherlock hat), a revitalising tonic seller, a beer baron, an advisor to Mel Gibson, a gorvernment fink, a grease wholesaler, the Chosen One Of The Stonecutters, a bodtguard, and many more that I've forgotten. That's gotta count for something.
So I was reading this musty old thread: Shaving, by Ubermonkeys (The W) And I think I have the answer to it all. My wife and I went to the beauty supply house yesterday. She's a licensed beautician, so she gets all kinds of cheap stuff.