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The W - Current Events & Politics - The McLaughlin Group's 20th Anniversary Clip Show
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CRZ
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Since: 9.12.01
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#1 Posted on
By now, you've probably missed the local airing of this weekend's "The McLaughlin Group" but you might want to check and see if you're under the wire - this week's half hour looked at the twenty year history of the show and was quite interesting (if only to see who USED to be on the show, but went on to "bigger and better things" - hmm, reminds me of my website ;-) )

If you DID miss it, the transcript and RealVideo stream will probably be added to the mclaughlin.com library later this week.



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DMC
Liverwurst








Since: 8.1.02
From: Modesto, CA

Since last post: 3475 days
Last activity: 3469 days
#2 Posted on
I LOVED the impression Dana Carvey did of John McLaughlin on SNL years ago. Rent the "Best Of" Dana Carvey SNL video just to see that, it's worth the price, trust me.

"QUESTION! AM I INSANE? PAT BUCHANAN!"

"Yes John."

"WRONG!! ELENORE CLIFT!"

DMC



TRISH!!!! GET THE TABLE!!!!
WyldeWolf1
Boerewors








Since: 20.6.02
From: Florida

Since last post: 4432 days
Last activity: 4431 days
#3 Posted on
"Issue Numbah Four---Am I regular? PAT BUCHANAN!"

"I don't really care, John."

"WRONG! It's all you ever think about!"

Dana Carvey = All time SNL MVP.



See my avatar? That's what happens when I don't get my way.
DMC
Liverwurst








Since: 8.1.02
From: Modesto, CA

Since last post: 3475 days
Last activity: 3469 days
#4 Posted on
I found this and it is too funny to NOT post:

Announcer: From the nation's capital, "The McLaughlin Group", an unrehearsed, hastily assembled program presenting inside opinions and forecasts on major issues of today. With Jack Germonde of the Baltimore Sun, syndicated columnists Pat Buchanan and Eleanor Clift, and Morton Kondracke of the New Republic. Now, here's the moderator, John McLaughlin.

John McLaughlin: Issue number 1: the commander-in-chief in Mexico. Bush wants a free trade agreement, what does President Salinas want? Pat Buchanan!

Pat Buchanan: John, Salinas is playing up his recent economic success and steering his..

John McLaughlin: Jack Germonde!

Jack Germonde: I don't think it's so much what Salinas wants, it's what..

John McLaughlin: Eleanor Clift!

Eleanor Clift: John, this is just another case of President Bush trying to push a policy..

Pat Buchanan: I'm not sure Bush has a policy..

John McLaughlin: Excuse me Pat, I believe Eleanor has the floor.

Eleanor Clift: Thanks, John. The hard truth is that Bush needs Salinas more than Salinas..

John McLaughlin: Morton Kondracke!

Morton Kondracke: I think this agreement talk is basically a..

John McLaughlin: Wrong! There will be a free trade agreement; it will take place within one year. Issue number 2: Maggie out, Major in. The new British prime minister, some believe he's a Thatcher clone. Will he carry out her policies? Jack Germonde!

Jack Germonde: Well, Thatcherites are privately rejoicing..

John McLaughlin: Wrong Mortone.

Morton Kondracke: See, Thatcher endorsed..

John McLaughlin: Wrong! On a scale of 1 to 14, 1 being lowest degree of unlikelihood, 14 being absolute metaphysical certitude, what are the chances of Major continuing Thatcher's alliance with Bush, vis-a-vis the Iraqis? Eleanor Clift!

Eleanor Clift: I'd say about a 12.

John McLaughlin: Pat Buchanan!

Pat Buchanan: Hold it, 14 is most likely?

John McLaughlin: Yes.

Pat Buchanan: I would have to say about a 9.

John McLaughlin: Jack Germonde!

Jack Germonde: Lower, like 5.

John McLaughlin: Mortone!

Morton Kondracke: 8!

John McLaughlin: Wrong! The actual degree of likelihood is 6.5. Issue number 3: life after death. Some pundits say it doesn't exist. Theologians disagree. Is there an afterlife? Jack Germonde!

Jack Germonde: I.. uh.. really don't know.

John McLaughlin: Mortone!

Morton Kondracke: Well, it's not my field..

John McLaughlin: Pat Buchanan!

Pat Buchanan: I'd like to believe, but it's not..

John McLaughlin: Wrong! There is life after death. The soul does not ascend to heaven but rather rests in a limbo state that varies depending on the karma of the spirit. Issue number 4: Intellegent beings on other planets, yes or no? Pat Buchanan!

Pat Buchanan: I would think so.

John McLaughlin: Eleanor Clift!

Eleanor Clift: Don't know.

John McLaughlin: Jack Germonde!

Jack Germonde: Me, either.

John McLaughlin: Mortontown!

Morton Kondracke: Well, no one really knows..

John McLaughlin: Wrong! There is intellegent life in the 11th galaxy on the planet Neptar, which will conquer Earth in the year 5482, utilizing us for slave labor in their Chellonian salt mines. Issue number 5: what number am I thinking of? Pat Buchanan!

Pat Buchanan: Geez, uh, 82?

John McLaughlin: Wrong! Eleanor Clift!

Eleanor Clift: Is it between 1 and..

John McLaughlin: Don't skirt the issue!

Eleanor Clift: Uh.. 40!

John McLaughlin: Wrong! Mortontyne!

Morton Kondracke: 212?

John McLaughlin: Wrong! Jackareeno!

Jack Germonde: 2?

John McLaughlin: Wrong! The correct answer is 134. 134. Issue number 6: what did you have for breakfast today? Eleanor!

Eleanor Clift: Some cantaloupe.

John McLaughlin: Mortontown, USA!

Morton Kondracke: I had poached eggs and toast.

John McLaughlin: Jack Germondo!

Jack Germonde: Bacon and eggs.

John McLaughlin: Patty Patty Buke Buke!

Pat Buchanan: I'm thinking waffles, maybe a little..

John McLaughlin: Wrong! You all had Special K with banana. Issue number 7: what is issue number 14 going to be? Some say it will deal with economic matter, others believe it will involve Germany. Morteeny-tiny-tabletop!

Morton Kondracke: Acid rain?

John McLaughlin: Wrong! Eleanor-gee-I-think-you're-swelleanor!

Eleanor Clift: I have.. no idea..

John McLaughlin: Wrong! You know quite well, you're just shy. Mondo-jackalo-gee-mon-mania-jack..

Jack Germonde: Well, it might be..

John McLaughlin: I'm not finished with your name, Germonacle-jack-o-lantern-gee-gi-jummy-jummy-jammy-mayhem!

Jack Germonde: You're insane, John!

John McLaughlin: Wrong! I'm perfectly sane. Everyone else, however, is insane and trying to steal my magic bag. St. Patrick of Buchananomics!

Pat Buchanan: I think I'm gonna leave, John.

John McLaughlin: Wrong! You can't leave; all the doors are locked from the outside. Next issue! What motivates me? Why do I conduct my show in this manner? Mondo!

Jack Germonde: You're a jerk?

John McLaughlin: Eleanor!

Eleanor Clift: Really large ego?

John McLaughlin: Wrong! I was neglected by my parents and I overcompensate to shadow my feeling that I have an inadequate intellect. Next issue!

Morton Kondracke: So, you didn't know your parents very well?

John McLaughlin: Wrong!

Morton Kondracke: Wrong?

John McLaughlin: Wrong!

Morton Kondracke: Right?

John McLaughlin: Wrong! Next week: the S&L probe continues. Is my money in a safety loan? If so, what's my account number? Bye-bye! [ theme music plays; superimposed title appears; McLaughlin points around ] Wrong! No! I told you, no..



TRISH!!!! GET THE TABLE!!!!
drjayphd
Scrapple
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Since: 22.4.02
From: Long Island

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#5 Posted on
Hilarious, yes, but I'm partial to the Sinatra Group.

"I've had chunks of guys like you in my stool!" Ahh, good times, good times...
tomvejada
Andouille








Since: 2.1.02

Since last post: 4074 days
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#6 Posted on
Both the McLaughlin Group and the Sinatra Group were funny, with the Sinatra Group getting the edge.

"I had chunks of guys like you in my stool."



"I just got pinned by a friggin twelve-year-old."

Kurt Angle
Stephanie
Landjager








Since: 2.1.02
From: Madison, WI

Since last post: 521 days
Last activity: 13 days
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.22

    Originally posted by drjayphd
    Hilarious, yes, but I'm partial to the Sinatra Group.

    "I've had chunks of guys like you in my stool!" Ahh, good times, good times...



And now, the transcript:


The Sinatra Group

Frank Sinatra.....Phil Hartman
Sinead O'Conner.....Jan Hooks
Billy Idol.....Sting
Luther Campbell.....Chris Rock
Steve Lawrence.....Mike Myers
Eydie Gorme.....Victoria Jackson




Announcer: The Sinatra Group. An unrehearsed discussion of current issues in the recording industry. With panelists Sinead O'Connor, Billy Idol, 2 Live Crew star Luther Campbell, and Steve Lawrence and Eydie Gorme. And now, here's the moderator, Frank Sinatra.

Frank Sinatra: Issue number one: Censorship. They got the records with the labels now, people getting arrested. What the hell's going on? Sine-aid O'Conner!

Sinead O'Connor: Well, I thnk it's a bloody shame that freedom of expression is suppressed in this country..

Frank Sinatra: Yap, yap, yap! Billy Idol!

Billy Idol: I think they're all a bunch of tight-assed old farts.

Frank Sinatra: Get a haircut. Luther Campbell!

Luther Campbell: Well, man I had my run-ins with censorship all year.

Frank Sinatra: Can't understand a word.

Luther Campbell: I said I was censored all year.

Frank Sinatra: You don't know what censored is, junior. Censored is being dumped by Columbia because Mitch Miller doesn't like the way your career is going. It's having million-dollar pipes and nowhere to play 'em. Am I right, Steve and Eydie?

Steve Lawrence: Yes, you are, Frank.

Eydie Gorme: Absolutely, Frank.

Frank Sinatra: You bet I am. Next issue: this crap with M-TV. With the nudity and all. What is this crap? Sinbad O'Connor.

Sinead O'Connor: Well, I think it's bloody awful. But it's typical of entertainment in a male-dominated society.

Frank Sinatra: Boo-hoo! You had me, and then you lost me! Billy Idol.

Billy Idol: I think it's great.

Frank Sinatra: Shut up! Luther Campbell.

Luther Campbell: Well, that's my bread and butter, man.

Frank Sinatra: Once more around, pal. Sounds like pops and buzzes from here.

Luther Campbell: I said, that's my bread and butter, man.
Frank Sinatra: No, you're wrong, schoolboy. You don't need to work blue! You'll never play the big rooms with that crap. Ask Redd Foxx. You don't need the blue stuff, kid, you got talent!

Luther Campbell: But I don't have talent.

Frank Sinatra: You've got it, kid. You listen to me - you've got a Ben Vereen quality, I can't put my finger on it. Take the high road, baby!

Luther Campbell: I swear, man, I don't have any talent. None! This is all I got. [ to Billy Idol ] Tell him, man.

Billy Idol: Yeah, he sucks!

Sinead O'Connor: He's not talented.

Frank Sinatra: No, Bob Goulet - that's not talented! You got talent! You got a Dionne Warwick/Falana kind of thing going. Steve and Eydie?

Eydie Gorme: Oh, you're right, Frank.

Steve Lawrence: Absolutely. He's great!

Frank Sinatra: Of course he is, you brownnoses. Look at you, you're just swimming in my wake. Issue number three: [ points to Sinead ] This bald chick - what's with her head? Let's start with the chick. What gives, cue ball? I'm looking at you, I'm thinking: fourteen in the side pocket!

Sinead O'Connor: I can't believe you're talking about my hair with all the bloody starvation and suffering in the world right now.

Frank Sinatra: Come on! Swing, baby, you're platinum! Billy Idol.

Billy Idol: I think she's really quite attractive.

Frank Sinatra: Check out his papers. Luther Campbell!

Billy Idol: You watch it, mate!

Frank Sinatra: Easy, baby! And what's with the sneering crap? [ Billy sneers ] Don't do that to the people, they want to like you! That's what killed Dennis day - contempt for the audience. Luther Campbell! What about the chick's head?

Luther Campbell: Be honest, I don't care about the head. I like the butt.

Frank Sinatra: I hear you, baby. Forget the head. Put a bag over it and do your business! Am I right, Steve and Eydie?

Steve Lawrence: [ slow to answer ] You bet, Frank!

Eydie Gorme: You know it, Chairman!

Frank Sinatra: You were a little slow that time.

Steve and Eydie: Sorry, Frank.

Frank Sinatra: Forget it, you're alright. You could pick up a check once in a while..

Eydie Gorme: Frank, that's not fair.

Frank Sinatra: Shut up! Okay, issue number four: Milli Vanilli. What is this faggot crap? Uncle Fester!

Sinead O'Connor: I don't understand the question.

Frank Sinatra: I'll tell you what you better understand! Next time you see Old Glory riding up that pole, you better sing that anthem, darling! You're lucky you're a chick, or you'd be nothing but a stain on the road and a crewcut. Our founding fathers went to the mat for you, baby!

Sinead O'Connor: It's not my flag - I'm Irish.

Frank Sinatra: Oh? Well, then stay off of this stuff.. [ mimes drinking ] That's the curse of you people. Billy Idol!

Billy Idol: I forgot the bloody question.

Frank Sinatra: I'll tell you the question - What the hell's with this Devil stuff? The whole black mass, and the whole six-six-six, coffins thing? Don't think the Big Man ain't keeping score, baby! He put you in the penthouse, and He can kick you back down to the gutter with these two! [ points to Steve & Eydie ]

Steve and Eydie: Hey! Geez!

Frank Sinatra: Shut up, you wastes of space! Just be glad you get to hang with me!

Steve Lawrence: You're right, Frank.

Eydie Gorme: Sorry.

Frank Sinatra: It's your choice. You can open for me at the Meadowlands, or you can headline at the Tick Tock Inn. Okay, Luther!

Luther Campbell: I think Milli Vanilli got what htey deserved.

Frank Sinatra: Can't understand a word. Next issue - Rita Hayworth or Ava Gardner, who would you rather nail? I disqualify myself, because I've done them both.

Billy Idol: I think you're a bloody, stupid old fart!

Frank Sinatra: You're all talk, blondie! You want a piece of me? I'm right here!

Billy Idol: Don't provoke me, old man.

Frank Sinatra: You don't scare me. I've got chunks of guys like you in my stool!

Billy Idol: Alright, I'll rip your bloody head off.

Frank Sinatra: Steve, go kick his ass.

Steve Lawrence: [ confused ] What?

Frank Sinatra: You heard me!

Eydie Gorme: Do it, Steve!

Steve Lawrence: Huh? Well.. okay.. [ stands over Billy ]

Billy Idol: You got it. [ punches Steve in the gut, knocking him to the floor ]

Frank Sinatra: Next week, the Grammy Awards. Where the hell is Vicki Carr's album? Bye bye. [ overlooking the fight ] Keep the hands up, Steve..

[ fade ]

Steph



I'm going twenty-four hours a day...I can't seem to stop
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OlFuzzyBastard
Knackwurst








Since: 28.4.02
From: Pittsburgh, PA

Since last post: 16 days
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#8 Posted on
How do we start the show?

I believe it's "Live from New York, it's Saturday Night"

WRONG!

No, he's right. It's "Live from New York, it's Saturday Night".

WRONG! The correct answer is "Show, show, show, here we go!".

And, yes, I once attented a RAW taping with a sign featuring a drawing of The Big Show and the phrase "Show show show, here we go".



"The only difference between lilies and turds are those humankind have agreed upon, and I don't always agree."
---George Carlin

"Those who dance are considered insane by those who can't hear the music."
---Anon.
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Hey, I read the NY Times and watch CNN everyday, and I never saw an article or a report on the breaking news that Jeaneane (how do you spell that anyway?) Garafalo is against the war in Iraq. Instead, I read it on a wrestling newsboard.
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