We would be remiss if we didn't mark the occasion of the NEWEST entry into the New Monday Night Wars™, so here now, thanks to our friends at Bite TV (Slogan: "TV that BITES" - well, it OUGHTA be their slogan, anyway) and Brightcove, here's an embed of Wrestlicious' Debut for those of us who don't get MavTV, Bite, Tuff, or Flern. I mean, America One.
I actually only watched the first minute; I suddenly decided I really needed to watch Jay Leno host "The Tonight Show" instead. (I'll watch it after Ferguson, I reckon.)
OK, so Jamie Foxx came out and suddenly I figured I could multitask, especially since it's only a 22.5 minute show - I don't know why I assumed it was an hour. MAN I'm glad it was only a half hour...
Let me give it to you straight. This show is AWFUL. I mean, it's probably not a shock that I came to this conclusion, but given that I tried to be WOW's most significant online advocate, you might think I'd be more inclined to sugar coat things. This show combines the worst of GLOW with the worst of WOW and instead of displaying a spunky incompetence that makes you root for the company, there's more of a shallow joylessness casting a pall over the entire proceedings, from the planted crowd who couldn't be bothered to generate enough heat to prevent SERIOUS overdubbing for nearly the entire show - except when there's a laugh track - to the apparently requisite "makes Hee Haw look high class" skits of which "JV" was probably a huge fan back in the day. The problem is, unlike these folks' pale imitation of the Real Thing, David McLane at least knew how to make his camp entertaining and he also knew that you still had to have a core of WRESTLING - I have no idea what the core comprises here.
We almost go ten minutes of show before a wrestling move - and this is only a half hour show, so it was probably closer to 12 or 13 minutes after the commercial breaks which we are spared online - and that first match may not have broken the magic one minute mark. Play-by-play sounds like it was written weeks after taping and read from cue cards.
Dreadful, awful, heinously bad show and I'd hate to imagine how much money they're going to burn through to get to...what do you think, 13 episodes? What'd WOW get up to? I think they lasted...what, 7 or 8 months but only had, like, 22 episodes? Well, that was 2000 and this is 2010. You've come a long way, baby!
Originally posted by CRZ Let me give it to you straight. This show is AWFUL. I mean, it's probably not a shock that I came to this conclusion, but given that I tried to be WOW's most significant online advocate, you might think I'd be more inclined to sugar coat things. This show combines the worst of GLOW with the worst of WOW and instead of displaying a spunky incompetence that makes you root for the company, there's more of a shallow joylessness casting a pall over the entire proceedings, from the planted crowd who couldn't be bothered to generate enough heat to prevent SERIOUS overdubbing for nearly the entire show - except when there's a laugh track - to the apparently requisite "makes Hee Haw look high class" skits of which "JV" was probably a huge fan back in the day. The problem is, unlike these folks' pale imitation of the Real Thing, David McLane at least knew how to make his camp entertaining and he also knew that you still had to have a core of WRESTLING - I have no idea what the core comprises here.
I wholeheartedly concur. Especially in your evaluation of what David McLane did right (twice). The genius of that man's ability to present women's wrestling as half novelty camp/half credible may never be fully appreciated. Wrestlicious seems to miss the point entirely.
Lana (Star) Kinnear seems to have had some work done. Unless natural aging makes your nose and cheekbones thinner ten years later.
I miss Riot, Patti Pizazz, Ice Cold, Terri Gold, Danger, and Wendi Wheels very much.
While I thought the debut episode was abysmal (the extra long music video rhyming words to Wrestlicious was the highlight!), I'm a glutton for this type of punishment. This is an almost-all new cast of stereotyped characters and surely there are diamonds buried somewhere in this silt.
I've made it as far as the opening spot in the first match halfway through the show... and Ric Drasin apparently couldn't be bothered to teach these girls how to tie up.
There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened. - The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
Ok, I made it through the rest. The 6 woman match was less uncomfortable to watch, it just had a lot of really insulting move names and unfortunate gimmick stuff that was unusually Un-PC even for wrestling. It was not enjoyable. There were no feuds built up. There was no story, unless Southern vs. Latina is story now. The best part is that one of the Southern gals is called "Tyler Texas" which, which is the name of a city a friend and I have a pet theory about it hiding a hellmouth ala Buffy (seriously, once you keep an eye out for weird news referring Tyler it just keeps popping up).
The crowd are obviously planted either being paid or at least given free t-shirts so many of them seem to be wearing but the crowd seems to completely die at weird times. I don't believe this was live edited and there is at least one point where they have the other camera and cable puller framed up better than the action.
The front rows appear to be made up entirely of children, especially young girls... and they are trying so hard to be into what is going on, but it's clear that they feel uncomfortable with some of it. Imagine how badly they'd be reacting if they could hear the announcing too... It's like someone said "OH, I KNOW if we put young women of color in the front row we will be seen as "empowering". Ugh. Ugh. I feel like I need a shower.
That first match is so amazingly uncomfortable. It just looks like someone told Aloha that they'd buy her kid's insulin if she did this one tiny thing...
I'm glad CRZ embedded it here, as it saved me looking for it, which might have built up my anticipation. This exceeded all my expectations. It was probably the worst wrestling show I've ever seen, and I watched the two NWWL PPV's. It wasn't even charmingly bad, just plain awful. The commentary being filled with lame puns didn't help. What seemed to be the longest intro for a wrestling show ever didn't help either.
I did go and vote for "Hard Justice" for the Battle Royal, there are 123 total votes so far. I don't know if TNA will care about that...
And in fact Caged Heat is with Wrestlicious as "Jimmy's Angels," so you have that to look forward to.
I watched the show last night and it was the same GLOW people from seasons 3 and 4 making the same mistakes. They have, so far, even taken David McClane's concept of having the heels dominate 90% of the time. Maui got slaughtered, and the Southern Belle in the final match got about 20 seconds of a hot tag segment before she was given one move and was pinned.
In WOW, McClane really only pushed two babyfaces as being big time threats (Selina Majors and Terri Gold). Almost every other babyface got beaten handily, to the point that they had to turn Caged Heat babyface just so a good girl tag team could be portrayed as anything but jobbers.
So basically, good luck Wrestlicious, because they have some good performers (Felony was a highlight, and Shauna-Na is hot as hell), but it is basically a case of "different verse, same as the first."
"Put on your helmets, we'll be reaching speeds of 3!" "It was nice of you to give that dead woman another chance." "All right, look alive everybody...oh sorry Susan."- MST3K: Space Mutiny Click Here (myspace.com)
The second incarnation of GLOW, WOW: Women Of Wrestling was way better than this! Hell, Lee Marshall was at least gave it credible commentary. The post inserted "commentary" on this is hokey as the jokes.
***EDIT*** Someone get me a hard shot...I'm not even sure if this is watchable intoxicated, inebriated, or not able to walk smashed.
I am a sucker for good gimmicks, and as bad as some of this was, there was a lot of enjoyable parts. I particularly liked when Felony tried to "escape" in the middle of the match, only to be stopped by her guard at the entrance.
Honestly? If there was a little more wrestling, a little better wrestling, and some better commentary, this might be really good.
I get the feeling the original premise was that it is suppossed to be a hybrid sitcom/variety show about wrestlers, women in a league with campy gimmicks specifically. the in ring stuff would have been done similar to the way the wrestling episode of "that '70's show" was done (a standard treatment done on other sitcoms about sports teams.) Jimmy Hart probably felt that given he popularity of the TNA Knockout division that the actual matches be given more tv time in an attempt to capitalise on that and perhaps add some reality element as well. As a wrestling show yeah it's not good but that could be fixed by better ring announcing and more experienced wrestlers. As a humor show we didn't get to see enough but with actual writers from the established sitcom world such a show could have potential. Stephanie has for years been hiring tv people to write for WWE but its not really working because it's supposed to more resemble a real sport. But with the purpose on the outset supposed to be a comedy about wrestling I can see where they are trying but just not succeeding because of poor production values all around. It would be kind of cool to see some of the wrestlicious "talent" actually make it up the ladder to TNA/WWE though if they really have some skills.
- The opening sketch was just in desperate need of some sort of food fight.
- That song...that freaking song. I hate them so much because it so awful and so damn designed to bore into your brain. Boot Camp Bailey could use some work on her rap though. Or a lozenge.
- Wait a second, that was just Daizee Haze?
- I'll give them this, their papered crowd is hotter than half the crowds that are paying to see WWE shows. Quite the pop song too. Should have waited a few weeks to reveal the lip-synching though.
- White Magic is Lacey?! I would not have caught that had I not seen it mentioned in an interview while confirming that another character is who I thought it was. I hope she can use her magic powers to make Jimmy Jacobs disappear from wrestling.
- Can they use term "Stone Cold Stunner" like that? Seems like someone should be suing someone over this. That said Jennn Blake is good, and once wore a really awesome hat that I so wanted to steal at a SHIMMER afterparty.
- Toni the Top is just an awful name unless they're going to introduce Betty the Bottom and give them an Italian BDSM gimmick. However, my annoyance is quickly tempered by my happiness at Bryce F'n Remsburg getting the referee position on the show.
- I'm an awful person perhaps, but I did laugh at Bandita's Candita.
- Mercedes Martinez as Maria Toro? Well, I guess the casting director here is smarter than TNA, when she would have been perfect for the role in LAX that the big boobed vampire chick tried to play.
- Rain, er, I mean Felony, is always allowed on my tv. And Amber O'Neal (Charlotte) is absolutely wonderful. So odd to see her acting as a face though, so used to see her as a Missy Hyatt like heel. And Lorelei Lee as Tyler Texas...well I'm happy she found work in such a rough economy.
- This announcer makes me stabby. And is it in the contract that her name is always "Big Maria Toro"?
- Felony's escape attempt was the kind of wonderful thing I expect from her, no matter what character she is playing.
Overall...I've seen worse. I mean, I too watched every episode of WOW, including the PPV. The sad thing is this could be a good show even with all the campy crap in the middle if they would just ease out a few of the models, and let the workers who can work do so a bit more. I mean, already it is better than much of the women's work in WWE.
Anything that gets some of these ladies work is good by me. Can't see watching this every week, but it had a certain goofy charm to it, and some moments of decent work. And if you liked any of the women you saw on here, check them out in SHIMMER (next tapings April 10-11) where they are able to work longer and more hard hitting matches.
from the F4W board, the identities of the characters....
Spoiler Below: Highlight text to read
Good Girls Cousin Cassie (Country Girl) <– Model Tyler Texas (Rowdy Cowgirl) <– Lorelei Lee (Shimmer) Charlotte and Savannah, The Southern Belles <– Charlotte=Amber O'Neal (Shimmer) , Savannah = Amber Lively (Cheerleader) <– Madison Rayne (Shimmer/TNA) Lacey Von Erich (3rd Generation Star) <– Lacey von Erich (TNA) Paige Webb (Web Mistress) <– Serena Deeb (Shimmer/WWE) Marley Sebastian (New Age Hippie) <– Daizee Haze (Shimmer) Maui (Island Princess) <– Maria Santella Shauna Na (50’s) <– Kristin Flake (Indies) Lil Slamm (Rapper) <– Model Malibu McKenzie (Surfer Girl) <– Lana Kinnear (WOW) Glory (The All American Girl) <– Christie Ricci (Shimmer/Indies) Coco Montego (Jamaican) <– Alexandra The Great (Polish Powerhouse) <– Danyah (Shimmer/NCW Femme Fatales) Super Nova (Masked Superhero) <– Nikki Tsugranes (Indies) she plays 2 different roles?
Bad Girls Felony (Jailbird) <– Rain (Shimmer/Roh/AAA) White Magic (Voodoo Queen) <– Lacey (Shimmer/Roh) The Naughty Girls (Faith Hope and Charity) <– Portia Perez & Nicole Matthews (Shimmer's Canadian Ninjas) Draculetta <– Model Bandita (Spicy Latina) <– Model Bootcamp Bailey (Mean Marine) <– Model Autumn Frost (Ice Princess) <– Jennifer Blake (Shimmer) Kandi Kisses (Pop Superstar) <– Lizzy Valentine (WSX/Indies) Brooke Lynne (Tough New Yorker) <– Becky Bayless (Shimmer) Toni The Top (The God Daughter) <– Nikki Tsugranes (Indies) Sierra Sheraton (Hotel Heiress) <– Erica D’Erico (Indies) Maria Toro (Bull Fighter) <– Mercedes Martinez (Shimmer) The British Bombshells <– Jailbait (Streetwise Underage Vixen) Amina (Belly Dancer) <– Kickstart Katie (Biker) <– Model Anaconda, Viper and Cobra (Jimmy’s Angels) <– Loca, Delta Lotta Pain & Lotus from WOW)
Someone posted videos of that move, called the "C4" (though now it will probably become the "jolly roger" or "walk the plank" or something inane)... though it looked better in those videos than it did last night.