Meanwhile, it's a wrestling show that doesn't have Bret Hart. This found its way into my DVR (go-go AT&T U-Verse!), so here's a very brief recap.
-The X Division Steel Asylum match between Amazing Red, Kiyoshi, Suicide, Homicide, Jay Lethal, Consequences Creed, Alex Shelley, and Chris Sabin ends in a No Contest. No, that's not a typo. A STEEL CAGE MATCH ends in a No Contest, because Homicide used his baton. We are not off to good start here. -After the match, JEFF HARDY comes in through the crowd. I'm bracing myself for Friday, because I smell a MEGA burial job from CM Punk on SmackDown. -ODB d. Tara to win the TNA Knockouts Title with a roll-up. Camera misses the pin, naturally. -Bobby Lashley cuts a promo...no, Kristal Lashley cuts a promo for him. He doesn't want to be here and wants out so he can do MMA. Umm...what? -Hulk Hogan cuts his promo. He's here for change. SCOTT HALL and SEAN WALTMAN are here, too. They want to party hardy, but Hulk will have none of it, for some reason. Kevin Nash comes out. Eric Bischoff comes out. The gist is that Hulk and Uncle Eric want to bring change to TNA. And with THIS cast of characters, do YOU buy change? -Awesome Kong & Hamada d. Sarita & Taylor Wilde to win the TNA Womens Tag Titles. Kong pins Sarita with the Awesome Bomb. -Sean Morley plays poker! -Matt Morgan & Hernandez d. Raven & Dr. Stevie in less than a minute after a Morgan Carbon Footprint. Thanks for showing up, guys! -Pope D'Angelo Dinero cuts a promo, but gets interrupted by Orlando Jordan. Oh dear God, no! -Pope D'Angelo Dinero d. Desmond Wolfe with a roll-up in a short match. It's one thing to see from a mile away that the Wolfe push would get aborted upon Hogan's arrival. To actually SEE said push on life support now is incredibly depressing. -Rhino gets laid out by a mystery person. -Jeff Jarrett cuts a promo talking about the homegrown TNA talent, but Hogan comes out to rebut that Jarrett buried the promotion. Why on earth would they counter a Bret/Vince feud from 12 years ago that has everyone on the edge of their seat with a Hogan/Jarrett feud from ten years ago that NO ONE cared about even back then? -Samoa Joe d. Abyss with a Greco-Roman Chair Shot and the Kokina Clutch. -Kristal demands a meeting with Hogan for Lashley. I really can't bring myself to care about Lashley when his wife's the one doing all his dirty work. -Beer Money gets laid out by the same mystery person that knocked out Rhino. -The Nasty Boys are here. And so it begins, the seeds of the tag team feud that will single-handedly usher in the Wrestling Apocalypse. Is it 2012 yet? -AJ Styles d. Kurt Angle in a great match to end the show. Ric Flair comes out to observe towards the end. This match is the only redeeming part of this entire crapfest of a show. -Mick Foley talks to Sean Morley and then goes into his office to find Eric Bischoff. Foley's about to beat Uncle Eric when he's jumped by Hall, Nash, and Waltman. Show ends with Hollywood Hogan entering the office to stand over Foley.
Yup, the show ended with an nWo reunion, even though they don't own the rights to the name "nWo".
For all the good feelings Raw gave me tonight, this show made me feel the total opposite. I got tired of the nWo in 1998. Then I got tired of them again in 2002. We're now in 2010 and I'm supposed to be stoked about the nWo again, even though they can't legally call them that. This show was everything we feared, plus Orlando Jordan. What an abomination!
I thought it was a combination of the first Nitro -- a legitimate "holy shit the fuck" jump and a great wrestling match -- and the first Russo-Bischoff Nitro -- a tidal wave of "bookermen shooting about the politics and the boyz" nonsense and lip service about the great young new stars while the entire thing is built around all the has-beens.
Say hello to the bad guy? Hell no. Say hello to the FAT guy. Man, Scott Hall has really let himself go. It's embarrassing.
Hilarious moment of the night comes at the start of the night when the crowd started chanting THIS IS BULLSHIT at the end of the cage match. It was bad enough that it was damn near impossible to see what was going on in the ring. Couple that with the ending? Wow. At least Jeff Hardy's there. That's a good thing, right?
-Hamada/Kong vs. Sarita/Wylde was a good match - the end was pretty good, with Hamada hitting the missle dropkick from the top turnbuckle into Sarita, who was in the process of eating an Awesomebomb. I need to watch more Hamada; she's probably the best womans wrestler on the roster.
-Pope vs. Desmond wasn't bad for how long it was. I don't watch nearly enough TNA, but I was quite surprized with how over Dinero was. Desmond won't be hurt in the long run with this finish. A quick roll-up from out of nowhere isn't nearly as much a burial as many would think. I half expect Desmond and Daniels to team up and challenge for the tag titles; they work really well together, it seems.
Tenay suggested over the course of the night that TNA was the top trending topic on Twitter. Wrong! I followed most of the show and tweeted (is that the right word for it?) and it wasn't the TOP - it was on the list, but it wasn't THE top.
The wrestlers in the show weren't knocked out or attacked by anyone. Rhino, Beer Money, the MCMGs and anyone else were merely sleeping - there were too many damn commercials in the show. They probably fell asleep waiting for their turn to do whatever.
The camera missed the rollup pin during the ODB/Tara match because apparently, Tara was showing ass. ODB pulled those tights a little too high.
It's False is right on the money with his comments on AJ Styles vs Kurt Angle. The only redeeming factor of this show was that match. Well, that and Hamada/Kong.
This had all the makings of a good show, but it was totally KILLED by all the commercial breaks. Yes, I know that running on a live show on Monday is expensive, but seriously! The constant advertising killed whatever the show had going for it.
I anticipate seeing the ratings for the show - I expect them to be dismal. What does Spike TV usually show at this time on Mondays, anyhow?
I came in with hope and came out very disappointed. I watched the first hour live, and nothing made me want to stick around at 9 p.m.
Thoughts: * The red cage is distracting. Way distracting. The no contest decision was annoying, the fans chanted as they should have, and the cage escape was just embarassing to watch. I'm all for Jeff Hardy, but he pissed away any goodwill the WWE had for him with tonight's little appearance.
* The womens title apparently isn't important, as it got a whole minute showcase and was an afterthought to the storyline.
* nWo 2010 doesn't surprise me at ALL, but disappoints me. The original version, I liked. The split into the Wolfpac and B-Team I was okay with. The WWE rebirth I couldn't get into. This I can't get into. Scott Hall was awesome back in the day. Scott Hall 2010 is probably not as awesome.
* Nasty Boys? Really? After that, I was expecting Hacksaw Jim Duggan or the Honky Tonk Man to appear. At least Beefcake.
* The main event... thumps up.
* Flair... undedecided. Ballsy move, and I'd like to see it pay off well. I don't know if it will though.
And YES, the commercials! Good lord the commercials! The entire last half of the first hour seemed like commercials (between shots of the limo driving to the arena, of course). I was ITCHING for something to change the channel to, lucky for them Raw wasn't on yet!
Originally posted by JustinShapiroI thought it was a combination of the first Nitro -- a legitimate "holy shit the fuck" jump and a great wrestling match -- and the first Russo-Bischoff Nitro -- a tidal wave of "bookermen shooting about the politics and the boyz" nonsense and lip service about the great young new stars while the entire thing is built around all the has-beens.
Hogan ACTUALLY said, and this is pretty close to a direct quote, "We've got all these younger guys in here who are going to get the push." It reminded me of Schiavone using the word "angle" during a Nitro broadcast once. I think he said, "that was a dumb angle anyway" in reference to something. Anyway, the short of it: Using backstage terminology on-camera is ALWAYS lame. I don't see Steve Carrell's character on The Office talking about his salary negotiations.
I'm so sick of Hogan. He was entertaining in spurts during his WWE run in the middle of this decade. But I can't handle anymore of this "shoot~" crap. Just give me fucking wrestling angles, man.
Anyway, thanks TNA, it was fun for a night. First time I tuned in since before they signed Angle, with a few matches on YouTube here and there, and I didn't see any reason to tune back in. Even the finisher/kickout/finisher/kickout match between Angle and Styles didn't really do anything for me. It was just a bunch of big moves with no real meaning or significance behind them.
Also, Scott Hall was totally drunk. I thought I read somewhere that he had sobered up, but I'd have a hard time believing he was sober tonight.
I can't even call this show Nitro, even in jest. It was way more like a 3 hour Thunder. And that opening hour was just one MASSIVE drop of the ball. 60 minutes of unopposed time to hook an audience, just pissed away.
Great main event tho.
But one has to wonder, after a show that was that alienating and devoid of the advertised "nonstop action", were anyone but the most diehard fans still watching? I only even saw the main event by accident (girlfriend changed the channel during a commercial and I stuck with it, because I knew AJ/Angle is a can't miss match).
Oh, and Hogan saying he had been in the back all day, after they had spent the first hour driving home that he was on the way to the show in his limo (with police escort; was Nick driving?) was just too funny.
They didn't MISS the ODB pin, they cut to a crowd shot because you could see (gasp!) Tara's butt crack. (This was immediately followed by the promise of butt ass naked babes from all of the strip poker playing.)
2010: Bubba the Love Sponge 2001: The Mark Advantage: Push
I had high hopes for the live crowd after they shit on the opening match (at least TNA has mastered the art of muting the CORRECT syllable, so that's an improvement over WCW right there), but to actually chant "This Is Wrestling" during the Pope/Wolfe match...Lord have mercy, if ANY match deserved the old Herb Kunze "two minutes in, these guys were acting like it was 20 minutes in" line, this was it. If that match broke 3:00 I would be in shock.
No matter how great the Angle/Styles match might have been, I couldn't tell because Earl Hebner is still WAY too distracting trying to make his 2 counts look like the most contrived things in the history of ever. That man RUINS matches for me - probably would have for years, only I've been spared by (1) WWE firing him and (2) not watching TNA. It's seriously difficult for me to find the words to convey how comically awful the patented "near fall here comes the hitch in my gitalong" is. Takes me right out of a match. (Or maybe it's all of the kicking out of zillions of finishers? I guess it's hard to complain about short matches when the alternative can be so spot-tastic?)
I guess what I'm saying is the Strong/Richards main event match on "ROH on HDNet" was probably the best match of the night, but surely nobody saw it.
00:57:00 See Our Zed: Are you occupied? 00:57:20 JMShapyro: not especially 00:58:00 See Our Zed: It may be in order for us to compile a quick list of available talent who would have been perfect for tonight's TNA show but did not appear 00:58:09 See Our Zed: Obviously, Brutus Beefcake 00:58:13 See Our Zed: Greg Valentine 00:58:20 See Our Zed: The Bashams 00:58:26 JMShapyro: who won Celebrity Championship Wrestling? Bonaduce? 00:59:02 See Our Zed: According to The Wikipedia, it was Dennis Rodman 00:59:21 See Our Zed: Although that reminds me of Jason Hervey 00:59:25 JMShapyro: Rodman would be perfect 00:59:28 JMShapyro: he's 4 life 01:00:03 JMShapyro: where was Booker T with people saying he was FIRED because he wouldn't help the YOUNG TALENT 01:00:26 See Our Zed: Why have Orlando Jordan but not Amy Weber? 01:00:39 JMShapyro: why have an APA poker game with no APA 01:01:07 See Our Zed: They owe Robbie McAllister a slot for getting him fired for attending their last "big" show (or was that Rory) 01:01:12 JMShapyro: I'm Robbie! 01:01:19 JMShapyro: I mean. I don't know 01:01:36 See Our Zed: Jamie Noble should have remasked and reappeared 01:01:44 See Our Zed: He could have been accompanied by Nidia in a mask 01:01:58 JMShapyro: Juventud doing an angle playing off WCW's discrimination lawsuit and his backstage Mexican fight with Jack Evans 01:02:06 See Our Zed: Jackie Haas could appear in a stunning coup, carrying a giant jug of Morphoplex 01:02:15 JMShapyro: 5 hour energy is the new Morphoplex 01:02:36 JMShapyro: Chinna Doll 01:02:37 See Our Zed: Needs a weepy Larry Zbyszko shilling it 01:02:38 JMShapyro: Oklahoma 01:02:38 See Our Zed: Yes 01:02:42 JMShapyro: and other locations 01:02:46 See Our Zed: Mr. Hughes 01:02:59 See Our Zed: Marc Mero 01:03:05 JMShapyro: Marc Mero's list 01:03:13 JMShapyro: the list we're making now 01:03:40 See Our Zed: Mordecai Thorn 01:03:49 JMShapyro: guys with true passion from the real ECW like Sandman and Sabu 01:04:05 See Our Zed: and uhh the woman with the scary boobs who hung out with Thorn 01:04:15 See Our Zed: could loan outfits to the Pope 01:04:38 See Our Zed: Surely Rikishi was available 01:04:48 JMShapyro: *Junior Phatu 01:04:48 See Our Zed: He could die and Roddy Piper could weep for him 01:04:59 JMShapyro: Monty Brown 01:05:06 See Our Zed: The black guy with the mask - that's Mr. Wrestling III right 01:05:36 See Our Zed: Sandman's son, of course 01:05:44 See Our Zed: Dawn Marie, but only if she's pregnant 01:05:56 See Our Zed: Chuck Palumbo 01:06:00 See Our Zed: Mike Sanders 01:06:05 See Our Zed: Ernest "The Cat" Miller 01:06:41 JMShapyro: Kwee Wee 01:06:56 JMShapyro: black guy with the mask revealed as Air Paris 01:07:20 See Our Zed: Kid Romeo 01:07:28 See Our Zed: Horshu 01:08:04 JMShapyro: that's Kenzo Suzuki, Mike! 01:08:13 JMShapyro: La Resistance join World Elite 01:08:57 See Our Zed: Misfits in Action 01:09:12 See Our Zed: The fans demanded Hugh G. Rection 01:09:26 JMShapyro: SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID 01:10:15 JMShapyro: Heavy D and Big Ron 01:10:35 See Our Zed: And the sideburns of Ken Shamrock 01:10:58 See Our Zed: Our ten minutes is up
Caught the last five minutes. Is it OK if I complain about the ending of Styles/Angle? Not that it was bad, but it was like they were trying too hard. Plus, Tenay and his "we'll be here until the match ends"-nonsense really DID make it feel like a Nitro.
And then, all that nonsense at the end? That WAS Nitro-esque. Not in a complimentary way, either. (Although, Val Venis, everybody!)
Holy fuck shit motherfucker shit. Read comics. Fuck shit shit fuck shit I sold out when I did my job. Fuck fuck fuck shit fuck. Sorry had to do it....
Revenge of the Sith = one thumb up from me. Fuck shit. I want to tittie fuck your ass. -- The Guinness. to Cerebus
Originally posted by CRZNo matter how great the Angle/Styles match might have been, I couldn't tell because Earl Hebner is still WAY too distracting trying to make his 2 counts look like the most contrived things in the history of ever. That man RUINS matches for me - probably would have for years, only I've been spared by (1) WWE firing him and (2) not watching TNA. It's seriously difficult for me to find the words to convey how comically awful the patented "near fall here comes the hitch in my gitalong" is. Takes me right out of a match. (Or maybe it's all of the kicking out of zillions of finishers? I guess it's hard to complain about short matches when the alternative can be so spot-tastic?)
Oh man, I saw this and immediately thought of you. Tonight was the first time I've ever noticed it, despite you pointing it out a million times in your recaps. I don't know why I never noticed it before, but I agree that it just totally kills any nearfalls. Why the hell does he do that?!?
Originally posted by CRZOr maybe it's all of the kicking out of zillions of finishers?
Originally posted by TheBucsFanEven the finisher/kickout/finisher/kickout match between Angle and Styles didn't really do anything for me. It was just a bunch of big moves with no real meaning or significance behind them.
That was beyond the point of absurdity. I thought the match was athletically spectacular at a level you don't really see in WWE main events, but it didn't build to a climax since it just became a series of Styles Clash two-counts over and over again. Going longer and doing more big moves actually made it a worse match.
I thought that Jeff Hardy, who was basically the biggest star in wrestling in 2009, debuting against X Division cannon fodder instead of TNA main eventers was weird. I don't know about that decision. He had 2 strikes with WWE and the schedule is significantly easier, but they'd not only finally accepted him as headliner, but always seemed willing to accommodate him. Now they might be displeased.
They showed Jeff Hardy before the show even began.
Watching live, it was nice to relive that feeling of channel hopping from 11 years ago when something you hate turns up. I changed the channel from Jeff Jarrett, the Nasty Boys, and Hornswoggle as if by reflex.
There were some good bits. The matches, such as they were, really did focus on the young guys, with the only real "veterans" in action getting destroyed in 15 seconds by Morgan and Hernandez -- and of course there was Angle, who is Angle. I think that's a little better, honestly, than "lip service."
But, granted, not much better, since all the "important" stuff seems to be building around a huge influx of wash-ups, has-beens, and never-wases. This giant immigration is what made the show one of the most disheartening wrestling shows I've seen since the Invasion. Hernandez and Morgan might be awesome, but we saw more of Scags and Knobbs during the show.
Orlando Jordan? Val Venis? The Nasty Boys? Bubba the Love Sponge? They've added a thousand pounds of dead weight to the roster and I'm not sure where the space is going to come from (but I'm pretty sure I'm not going to like the answer when it comes).
So, yeah. Not a real fun show. Some indications of things that please me -- leaving the belt on Styles, for example, was a little unexpected after Hogan referred to him in an interview as a young kid just now "comin' up through the ranks." But all the useless meat coming in the door (and all in a single night!) feels like a pretty bad omen.
Last 5 movies seen: Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs ****1/2 - 9 *** - Fantastic Mr. Fox ****1/2 - District 9 **** - Extract ***
Q: Is Jeff Hardy the stupidest person in wrestling today? A: No, because Dixie Carter hired him when is on trial for multiple drug issues.
What an absolutely abysmal show. I'm sure there'll be the usual morons crawling out of the interent all over the web proclaiming that the shocks made wrestling "exciting" and "unpredictable" again, but I think I'd rather watch Cena Vs. Orton again than another nWo rehash.
As of 2/28/05: 101 pounds since December 7, 2004 OFFICIAL THREE-MONTH COUNT: 112 pounds on March 9, 2005 OFFICIAL SIX-MONTH COUNT: 142 pounds on June 8, 2005 OFFICIAL ONE YEAR COUNT: 187 pounds on December 7, 2005 As of 2/27/06: 202 pounds "I've lost a heavyweight" As of 7/31/06: 224 pounds As of 12/7/08 (four years out): Still 210 pounds down! Now announcing for NBWA Championship Wrestling! *2008 NBWA Personality of the Year*
Originally posted by JustinShapiroI thought that Jeff Hardy, who was basically the biggest star in wrestling in 2009, debuting against X Division cannon fodder instead of TNA main eventers was weird.
I'm guessing they wanted to open the show with their crazy high-flying guys, then have the big holy shit moment with Jeff Hardy all before RAW even went on air to try and keep people hooked. The only reason I can think for them *not* pushing him further up the card in short order would be that they were worried about 'personal issues' but, well, Scott Hall.
I usually take a "relax and enjoy it" attitude to my sportz entertainment but I'm not sure I see how this overhaul ends well for TNA. Signing a bunch of guys WWE already deemed too fucked up, broken down or generally sucky to keep around isn't a recipe for success.
I'll probably watch for a couple weeks out of idle curiosity if nothing else but the signs aren't good. And if it means even less Motor City Machine Guns then that will be a bloody shame, for they are awesome.
Lesnar vs Cena All logic says Lesnar. Logic goes over. Lesnar to win here but it won't be a destroy, destroy angle. Punk vs Jericho Jericho via bottle smash I hope. Sheamus Vs D Bryan All logic says Bryan. Logic does the job. Sheamus wins, easily.