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The W - Pro Wrestling - RAW #848 8/24/09
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CRZ
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Since: 9.12.01
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#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.42
Well, I guess it's up to me. I've only watched five hours or so of wrestling tonight, what's another two plus? (Looking back...I regret typing this opener.)

It's MONDAY NIGHT RAW #848, airing LIVE in WWEHD on USA 24.8.09 from the I Didn't Catch The Name Arena in Las Vegas, NV!

Let's start with Randy Orton's ugly mug. We learn right away that the "fan" was Brett DiBiase, Ted's younger brother. He bought a ringside seat but nobody in Legacy knew he was going to become a crazed, planted fan who broke up the STF with his distraction. But it'll never ever ever happen again in one of Orton's matches. They promise. Good enough for me!

By the way, you didn't ask me, and there probably wasn't even a discussion (remind me to go read the SummerSlam thread when I'm done) but they gave him JUST too much camera time to make me think he wasn't anything but part of an angle. Saw him on TV? It's a work. It still holds!

VINCE is out to announce that there may be controversy surrounding last night's title bout, but the referee's decision is final. Cena WILL get another rematch, however, at Breaking Point versus Orton in an "I Quit" match - and if there's any interference on Orton's behalf, he'll lose his title right then and there. DX then came out, and in what I believe may be the longest uniterrupted televised segment in the history of RAW, threw Vince a 64th birthday celebration. Kim called Big Dick Johnson's appearance as soon as the cake came out. Amazingly, this ended with Rhodes & DiBiase attacking DX before they could cue the manure drop on Vince. Triple H says since Floyd Mayweather isn't here yet (how can that even be POSSIBLE?) he's going to make a match - Legacy (joined up on the ramp by Orton) vs. DX...and their tag team partner Vince McMahon. Vince adds "and it'll be No Disqualification!" Sadly, we are spared a Jillian Hall appearance.

Quick time check: 26 after the hour. Oh Lord...well, at least it's a quarter over? Hopefully?

Here's the same Special Video Look at Floyd Mayweather you've seen ever since No Way Out 2008 - he's tonight's guest host - if he ever shows up!

I expect a lotta short segments to make up for that first one...

Here's some stock footage of Las Vegas from above!

SANTINO MARELLA (ready for action - RAW is presented by Castrol GTX and Dissidia Final Fantasy!) vs. THE MIZ (Cleveland, OH - 231 pounds)
Referee: A(censored)ey
Miz MAY love the yin yang symbol even more than Rob van Dam! Lawler says the change in ring attire means he's serious. Doesn't explain that hairdo, though! Miz wins with the "Skull-crushing Finale." Does he REALLY call it that? (2:06) "That is me getting one step closer to defeating Kofi Kingston and becoming the NEW United States Champion - because I'M THE MIZ - and I'M AWESOME." Also, he wasn't on the pay-per-view.

Mickie, Kelly and Gail are WAKLING! Gail appears to know what's happening around her!

WrestleMania's 25th fake anniversary airs in the SNME slot this weekend!

Did you know? WWE was seen by more people than the Farm Report!

SIX DIVA "MAYWEATHER MELEE" - BETH PHOENIX THE GLAMAZON & A. FOX & ROSA MENDES (ready for action) vs. MICKIE JAMES & KELLY KELLY & GAIL KIM
Referee: N(censored) [formerly J(censored)]
Divas are in "boxing" attire. Short shorts work for everybody, but maybe not QUITE as well for Mickie and Beth. Mickie actaully has a skirt, which keeps riding up, which at least brought back happier memories of when she wore skirts and always seemed to keep her legs spread as far wide apart as possible. I may be rambling here. Improbable finish sees Alicia Fox take out Mickie by throwing her into the corner shoulder first, then landing a leg slice to the back of her neck for the 1, 2, 3. (2:35) Gail was invisible except for one top rope dropkick. Floyd Mayweather will be here soon!

TONIGHT: the aforementioned six man - yippee

WrestleMania on NBC ad - again

Backstage, DX yuk it up / promote the "Rise and Fall of WCW" DVD - this is made SLIGHTLY more entertaining by the fact that there's something making a hell of a lot of noise but "One Take Michaels & Helmsley" gamely keep on, shouting over it. They need to get Vince ANGRY for the big match tonight. Fortunately, Triple H has a plan...cut to

In the room of fun, Mr. McMahon is serenaded by Jillian Hall's impersonation of Marilyn Monroe - so MY prediction from the opening segment got shifted to here, but the house is 2 for 2, so we can all die happy now. I am actually starting to fear for Cole & King losing their voices from all this forced chuckling they are subjecting me to... NEXT

JERISHOW head to the ring - let us take you back to WrestleMania XXIV and the big match between Show and Mayweather. Show's been waiting all night for Money and by God, he'll do it right here right now right in this ring! Well, they're a LITTLE better on the theme song mashup, but they're not there yet. Show blah blah blah gonna hurt you haven't forgotten about WrestleMania unfinished business blah blah blah show your sorry self or I'm not leaving this ring. Jericho: "And no one can make ME leave either!"

Backstage, Mayweather and Promotional T-shirted entourage are WALKING! It will probably take him the length of one commercial break to make it to the stage, so let's do that

Here's a spot for the RAW house show coming up in St. Paul. Tickets as low as $15! See John Cena vs. Randy Orton for the WWE Championship! Plus Triple H, Big Show and MORE! Did we mention FIFTEEN DOLLARS??

We're back and nothing's happened yet. Lilian Garcia manages to get out most of the hype for QUARTER BILLION DOLLAR MAN FLOYD "MONEY" MAYWEATHER. From the T-shirts of the entourage, I can tell you that Mayweather vs. Marquez takes place 19 September on HBO PPV! I should also mention there's a UFC PPV that night, but that isn't advertised on anybody's T-shirt. Mayweather has some green under his watch so I expect money will be thrown somewhere at someone sometime during this segment. Man, Mayweather isn't even as tall as Jericho! "Monday Night RAW! That's right. The money day. (WTF?) You know what I did to you last year at WrestleMania...and I WILL do it again...tonight. But I have a September 19th Pay-per-view bout that's more important." Jericho stsps up and they go eye to eye. KISS HIM ALREADY. "You were introduced as the greatest fighter in the world, but I disagree. I think you're a great self-promoter. I think you're a great showboater. But as a boxer, I don't think you're very good." OHHHHH SNAP. "And I think, little man, in your big comeback fight September 19th against Juan Manuel Marquez (cheers) - I think he's gonna knock you out." I hope Jericho's in his corner - I might buy it then. Show: "And then after Marquez cleans your clock, maybe Jericho and I will step into the ring and take what's left of you and wipe you from the face of the planet, how about that." Somehow, this leads into MVP making an entrance. "Time out, time out, time out! Big Show, Jericho, I really don't appreciate you talkin' to my man like that, 'cause he's made me a lot of money over the years! I mean that is Floyd 'Money' Mayweather. You know, actually - well, you guys are the Unified tag team champions, but it's obvious you're not that intelligent. I mean, Big Show, we know you're a big dangerous dummy, and Christina, every week you're consulting your Oxford dictionary for sixteen syllable words, tryin' to talk over everybody's head, but you're not that smart, because Floyd could punch you in your face thirty-two times before you even got a chance to open your mouth! Just ask Big Show! Remember the last time, when he served you up? Brrrrrrrrbat! Your nose was all runnin', that was nasty - euhhh! I mean, actually it was beautiful, it really was." "Oh yeah, sure, he knocked down Big Show with eighteen of his friends' help." "Well...Big Show could have done the same if he HAD any friends. I mean who wants to hang out with a big smelly Sasquatch Bigfoot looking monstrosity, you know - well, maybe you, Christina, you know, Beauty and the Beast, I get that, you know - I understand." "You watch what you say about my friend. He is my friend, and you'd better watch what you say to me. You better remember who you're talking to, that's right, I am the best--" "Aahhhhhh would you please shut up! Every week you come out here and you run your mouth, talking, talking, talking, I don't want to hear it - the WWE Universe doesn't want to hear it! Shut up!" And with the "WWE Universe" mention, I'm done transcribing. MVP wants to beat Jericho, send him back to Smackdown so he doesn't have to hear him any more. MVP sucks up to Mayweather (who has basically been perched in a corner letting all this happen) and gets a match tonight with these guys, and if they win, they'll get a Unifed tag team championship shot at Breaking Point - his partner of choice is MARK HENRY. As he walks out, we note that even in bright red/orange, he still has the pokiest member in tights. They're going to walk to the ring, and WE'RE going to fast forward through another set of commercials!

Tomorrow on ECW, we'll try to make you forget that the ECW championship post-match was longer than the match!

The match is in progress as we return. There can be little doubt that they're going to win tonight, right? Referee is Cha(censored)son. Mayweather and his manager are sitting alongside the commentary table while the other seven guys form a phalanx opposite them at the base of the ramp. Crowd is chanting for MVP during the fairly lengthy heat segment. Jericho throws MVP outside and.....they do NOTHING for like thirty seconds. Jericho goes out and brings him back in. Finally Jericho and MVP start trading...MVP starts coming back....but there's no tag. Tag to Show. At this point we have to wonder if Henry will double cross MVP by the time he DOES get in, but surely they wouldn't pull that AGAIN so soon, would they? Show working over MVP. Show with a ... toehold? Always wonder why Show doesn't just unleash the KO right first chance he gets and end it. He does make a bodyslam look easy. Tag to Jericho. Almost immediately there's a double clothesline and both men are down. So...we take ANOTHER ad break?

At this point, it's a tough call. Would I rather watch more of this match, or a commercial for "The Final Destination (No, Really, We Mean It...This Is Really, Really, Really The Final One)?"

Stay tuned for a special sneak preview of Rob Zombie's "Halloween II!"

When we come back, the beatdown by Jericho continues. FINALLY Jericho misses the Lionsault. OH MY GOD THE TAG - OH MY GOD HE DOESN'T IMMEDIATELY TURN ON MVP - Henry catches the Codebreaker attempt but Jericho somehow counters a World's Strongest Slam attempt into a big ol' DDT! Of ourse, Henry kicks out with authority. It still gets a "Batman: Arkham Asylum" double feature style replay. I can't believe Henry tags out to MVP, but apparently he's fresh as a daisy now and time for "Ballin'" wacky elbowdrop. 1, 2, Jericho kicks out! Crowd is SURPRISED somehow! Head down, kick by Jericho, enzuigiri by Jericho, Henry decides he'd beter break up the pin attept. Show wants to intervene, but Henry bumps him to the floor. Mayweather just passed MVP the knux! THE POWER OF THE PUNCH BY MVP! So THAT'S how they're going to win. 1, 2, 3. (we saw 14:35 - but that includes 3:12 of ad break) If Henry was in that match for more than a minute, I'd be amazed.

Ted & Cody are excited about no disqualifications tonight! Randy appears and asks Brett to leave them alone so they can have a private chat with just them and the cameraman and the millions of viewers. Brett complies. Not only do they get DX tonight, but Randy gets to ruin Vince's birthday by kicking him in the head so hard he'll NEVER return!

"The Rise and Fall of WCW" DVD ad

Castrol GTX presents the Sludge Slam! (Really?) From last week, Chavo and Hornswoggle engage in a Falls Count Anywhere match SO exciting that the crowd rises as one to chant "Let's Go Blues!" Somehow, that gets edited out of this time around. So does Macauley Culkin!

SPECIAL BOXING EXHIBITION MATCH: HORNSWOGGLE (already in the ring) vs. CHAVO GUERRERO (already in the ring) - official (censored) gives instructions, but then tells Chavo that he won't be using the boxing gloves he has on - and goes to the timekeeper to retrieve some giant fun-size boxing gloves. This is by order of Mayweather! I like to think Chavo still has a chance here, but as Cole says "entertainment at its greatest," I have to wonder how serious he is when he says that. Here comes the CHUCKLE MONSTER!!!! Chavo decides to remove the gloves and bodyslam him. (DQ 1:06) Cole fails to say "shades of Roddy Piper and Mr. T!" Chavo decides NOW is a good time to try a frog splash and get some well-deserved revenge - but before he can, EVAN BOURNE runs out and is a house aflame, culminating in a perfect shooting star press. Hornswoggle has a new father! Here's a replay of Air Bourne. Here's another one! Lawler proclaims it "pretty!" And he's a man who knows pretty!

TONIGHT: Six men - average age on one side is in their 20s, average age on the other side is Paleolithic!

Smackdown airs this Friday! If you thought Jeff Hardy and CM Punk were done, you forgot that they can still have a STEEL CAGE MATCH! And if we're REALLY lucky, by Friday, The Undertaker will have turned back into Jeff Hardy!

Here's another look at some exciting stock footage of Las Vegas!

Let's take a look back at SummerSlam weekend in Los Angeles! Who are Boo Boo Stewart, Gilles Marini and/or Josh Kaplan (beyond people with clearly nothing better to do that night)? Oh, it's a charity thing for Betty's Battle. Gotta love it when they show you Roddy Piper but don't let him get ONE word in. There's Mayor Villagoroasooaoalla! There's Tatyana Ali! There's a super cool Cookie Monster hat! BATISTA!! This tattoo was brought to you by MY 13 and Pepsi Max! OH NO TOMMY DREAMER IS GOING TO EAT THAT BABY let's see, Bella Twins joke, Cena makes a face, we're mercifully out

In the room of fun, Vince is doing a little sparring as Mayweather trains him with the pads. Vince asks who'd win in their prime, himself or Ali? Mayweather says Vince, of course, because he has more money. There's a gimmick, and then there's overkill. Carlito interrupts and tells Mayweather he's a crappy guest host because he hasn't even booked Carlito on the show. He wants another match against Kofi (he got lucky last week). DX appear - they want Floyd to know he's doing a GREAT job as guest host. Is Vince ready? Vince says something about how he needs to get busy, and somehow Triple H says something about getting busy with his daughter, and somehow this leads to Vince punching out Carlito. Shawn proclaims it "cool." I am wondering just how much time is left in this show.

Don't forget, Halloween II special peek after the show - if we ever get there!

Here's a Special Video Look at SummerSlam! You can still buy the encore - or just send US the money and WE can burn it for you!

Did You Know? WWEClassics.com is a website! On the Internet!

Are you ready? I can't TELL you just how ready I am...

THE HEARTBREAK KID, SHAWN MICHAELS; THE GAME, TRIPLE H - D-GENERATION X and THE CHAIRMAN OF WORLD WRESTLING ENTERTAINMENT, MR. McMAHON vs. CODY RHODES, TED DiBIASE AND THE WWE CHAMPION RANDY ORTON (703 pounds)
Referee: Sco(censored)ng
You are watching the longest running episode of the longest running episodic predestined sports entertainment in the history of the universe! Breaking Point is brought to you by Batman: Arkham Asylum! Chyron says "Legacy & Randy Orton" so I guess Randy Orton ISN'T a member of Legacy. Also, they're really well and truly called Legacy and not Priceless, God dammit. Before the match, H launches Michaels up and over and onto the three men out on the floor. Rhodes thrown in to McMahon, ring the bell. One big punch from Vince, and to the corner where he wastes little time tagging out. Everybody taking turns on Rhodes - now *Rhodes* sent up and over onto DiBiase and Orton on the floor. Amazingly, we do NOT take a commercial break...oh, wait, we do. Well, we got JUST over a minute in...

Royal Pains is NEXT!

One more "25th Anniversary of WrestleMania Zero" ad snuck in here - it's Saturday on NBC!

FINALLY we are back and it's Triple H and DiBiase - apparently Legacy are in control, right up until H hits that DDT putting both men down. Both men crawling - tag to Michaels! Michaels with punches in bunches! Atomic drop! Chop! Free shot for Rhodes and Orton bails! Scoop...and a slam for DiBiase! Macho elbowdrop coming up - connects in VINTAGE fashion! But Rhodes is in with a surprise bulldog that almost goes the length of the ring. Cole suddenly remebers this is a "no DQ" matchup. I'm a little surprised they're keeping it one on one. Orton stomping away - not in the usual Orton stomp fashion... more of a stomp-stomp-stomp-stomp fashion. That'll 2 ya. Tag to Rhodes. Now RHODES is doing his own set of stomping. Stomping: the hot new offensive manoeuvre! Chinlock applied. He has learned well from young Randy Orton. Michaels back up - punching out. Michaels sure seems to be swinging his hair around a lot more than he was before he left - you suppose they patched up a few problem areas there? DiBiase holding up Michaels for a punch from Orton. Kneedrop by Orton. If there's no DQ, why doesn't he just kick him in the balls? Another knee. 1, 2, no. If there's no DQ, why doesn't he just pull a gun on him? Orton grabs Michaels' hair in such a way that I can see it's still goin' pretty high up in certain areas of the forehead, even now. Lawler has some balls to remind us that Vince is 64 today...but I guess if he's standing there on the apron, he's not in his headset. Crowd getting tired of this heat segment and Shawn gets all spastic to fight out of the patented, vintage Orton chinlock. Both men down. Tag to Rhodes, hot tag to...nobody - Rhodes shoves them both off. Michaels manages to fight him off, though, and DOES make the lukewarm tag to Triple H. VINTAGE high knee! Facebuster thing! Free shot for DiBiase! Spinebuster! But...Vince wants a tag? H ducks a clothesline and Pedigrees Rhodes. NOW he'll tag Vince. Vince with a pop! H shoves DiBiase outside as Vince covers - 1, 2, Orton breaks it up!! PUNT COMING UP oh no Michaels heads him off and heads him off. Orton VIPER VIPING VIPES VIPE but cue the music because we were in danger of going an ENTIRE show without CENA JOHN CENA. Orton chased in - Sweet Chin Music check, Attitude Adjustment check, Vince swaggering around, finally hooking a leg, 1, 2, 3. (13:38 - including 3:52 of ads) Replay is totally unnecessary - HE SHOOTS THE HALF - 1, 2, 3!!!!!!! They still need him, they'll still pop for him...when he's sixty-four.

GOOD NIGHT





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BigDaddyLoco
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Since: 2.1.02

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#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.20
Just curious, but how long did the show run over?
supersalvadoran
Landjager








Since: 10.1.08
From: westbury, new york

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#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.53
    Originally posted by CRZ
    Triple H says since Floyd Mayweather isn't here yet (how can that even be POSSIBLE?)


It's a good probability that this (sports.espn.go.com) might had held him up getting there. Which makes me wonder if the WWE might have to change who they pick as a special guest. At least it's not "Let's pick a future psycho killer and have him appear on two VH1 shows and win the big money on one of them" bad.

BTW, not to go off on a tangent, but am I wrong to at least like the fact it screwed up Megan's career royally? Couldn't have happened to a more stuck up, selfish, materialistic shank, IMO.





John Orquiola
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Since: 28.2.02
From: Boston

Since last post: 119 days
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#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.03
The Vince McMahon 64th Birthday in Las Vegas - A Very Special Episode of RAW - Brought to you by DX, with Very Special Guest Star Floyd Meaweather, and co-starring some other people...

Vince called the I Quit match the "ultimate submission match." Not to be confused with the Ultimate Submission Match. After this episode of RAW is a special look at Halloween II. Not to be confused with Halloween II.

When Cirque Du Soliel came out, Vince actually said, "Those glasses look gay!" into the mic on live TV.

Worst Michael Cole call this week: "The ELASTIC Gail Kim!" That's flattering. Way to get Gail over.

I lost count of how many times Cole, the one man DX laugh track, said, "How GREAT is it to have DX back?!?!"

Oh, I'll just say it: Chris Jericho and The Big Show were surrounded by black people tonight, and got mugged. If this were ten years ago, the King would have been nervous the whole episode and made a "where's my wallet?" joke.

HOW GREAT IS IT TO HAVE CRZ BACK?!?!? (That's not sarcasm.)

Zeruel
Thirty Millionth Hit
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Since: 2.1.02
From: The Silver Spring in the Land of Mary.

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#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.05
    Originally posted by BigDaddyLoco
    Just curious, but how long did the show run over?


About 7 mins. I forgot to account for it and it goofed up my DVR of L&O:CI that started at 1:05.



-- 2006 Time magazine Person of the Year --

-- July 2009 Ordained Reverend --
lotjx
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Since: 5.9.08

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#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.32
My wife was happy with the forever long opening segment. She is easily amused that is why she married me. Anyway, the one thing I did like was the camera showing Cena, DX and Vince looking down on Orton's broke body. It reminded me of the end of a movie where the heroes stand over the villain, I think that has been the most cinematic moment in Raw for the last three years. It would have been a nice moment if this was the end of the Legacy which sadly lingers on.

I thought this show was a bit too funny compared to how Legacy took DX to the limit and the craziness of Cena/Orton. I am a little surprised no mention of Lillian's last night, but at least she wasn't embarrassed out the door like most talent that moves on. I did love Beth's outfit, everything else was just there.
Spaceman Spiff
Knackwurst








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#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.05

    Divas are in "boxing" attire. Short shorts work for everybody, but maybe not QUITE as well for Mickie and Beth.

I beg to differ. At the risk of sounding like a creepy perv, the boxing attire was workin' for Mickie.

I figured out early that the opening DX skit was going to be insufferable, so I decided to pause the show to pay some bills & do some filing before coming back to FF through most of it. I think everybody knew Big Dick Johnson was popping out of the cake. Luckily, he was part of my FF'ing.

Hey, Kofi wasn't using his gimmicked Jamaican accent during his SummerSlam Weekend bit!



redsoxnation
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Since: 24.7.02

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#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.85
Went with the fallback guess of Mae Young for the cake.
Since winning the belts, Jerishow have feuded with Shaq, Cryme Tyme, Floyd Maeweather, MVP, and the World's Fattest Man Mark Henry. Just get it over with, give them Badstreet USA as a theme song and let Michael Hayes give Jericho his old Stars and Bars ring robe.
How can it be an I Quit match if if someone interferes it ends in a DQ?
Oliver
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#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.29
First things first...welcome back to the CRZ recap, even if it's for one night only. How I've missed them. I'm assuming his recaps are like DX reunions - you know they're coming but ya never know just when.

    Originally posted by Spaceman Spiff

      Divas are in "boxing" attire. Short shorts work for everybody, but maybe not QUITE as well for Mickie and Beth.

    I beg to differ. At the risk of sounding like a creepy perv, the boxing attire was workin' for Mickie.

    I figured out early that the opening DX skit was going to be insufferable, so I decided to pause the show to pay some bills & do some filing before coming back to FF through most of it. I think everybody knew Big Dick Johnson was popping out of the cake. Luckily, he was part of my FF'ing.

    Hey, Kofi wasn't using his gimmicked Jamaican accent during his SummerSlam Weekend bit!
I thought it was going to be Mae Young popping out of the cake.

Mickie James was looking totally WOW in that outfit. Damn.

Not sure I liked the half hour opening with DX...it gave me a bad reminder of how stale Raw was when a promo would open up the show...whether it was the Corporation, the Ministry...anything. It was pretty cool, mind you - bringing up STAND BACK was fun but I found myself switching channels often during that segment.

I somehow missed the Kofi Kingston bit mentioned above. I like the Jamaican accent, but I wonder how he sounds without it.

Big Show's singled was pretty swank. Dunno why, but the purple and black was working for him. Jericho was awesome on the stick, as usual.

Nothing much else comes to mind concerning the show. Floyd was a very effective guest host, and I hope he gets an open door to return.

(edited by Oliver on 25.8.09 0734)


"I have a feeling that waiting isn't as pointless as it seems. If someone is waiting, that place becomes a place to return to."


Tsukasa to Jii-san, Kamen Rider Decade # 25

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Zeruel
Thirty Millionth Hit
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Since: 2.1.02
From: The Silver Spring in the Land of Mary.

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#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.05
    Originally posted by lotjx
    I am a little surprised no mention of Lillian's last night, but at least she wasn't embarrassed out the door like most talent that moves on.


That's news to me. According to wikipedia, she was on the air for 10 years and 1 day. Debuted 23.8.1999 in Ames, IA, last appearance 24.8.2009 in Las Vegas, NV.



-- 2006 Time magazine Person of the Year --

-- July 2009 Ordained Reverend --
Captaincuba
Italian








Since: 25.10.05

Since last post: 235 days
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#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.88
The Ultimate Birthday Present for me...a CRZ Recap!

So aside from Legacy and Jerishow are there any other heels that could challenge Cena if/when he wins?

Big Show is the most entertaining he's been in a verrrrrry long time.

Jericho truly is the best there is at what he does, bub.

Jerishow should keep the straps for however long the longest reign is...WWE doesnt care about tagteams and at least they give them added value on the card while keeping Jericho on both shows and allowing the #1 contenders of the month to get a rub along the way. Just think of the massive rub the team that inevitably beats them will get.

CC
Tenken347
Boudin blanc








Since: 27.2.03
From: Parts Unknown

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#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.03
As soon as the birthday stuff started, I knew Big Dick Johnson was going to be involved somewhere. But for some reason (maybe I'm just a traditionalist) I still picked Mae Young for coming out of the cake. I think BDJ is the new Mae Young.
Broncolanche
Sujuk








Since: 2.6.03
From: Littleton, CO

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#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.96
    Originally posted by John Orquiola
    Oh, I'll just say it: Chris Jericho and The Big Show were surrounded by black people tonight, and got mugged.
Haha, good one!
KJames199
Scrapple
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Since: 10.12.01
From: #yqr

Since last post: 16 hours
Last activity: 16 hours
#14 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.90
    Originally posted by CRZ
    Kim called Big Dick Johnson's appearance as soon as the cake came out.
Like most others here, I figured it'd be Mae Young. Not sure how someone that immobile would be expected to get out of that cake, but I'm not sure they think that far ahead. I didn't think that far ahead, anyway.
    Originally posted by CRZ
    Miz wins with the "Skull-crushing Finale." Does he REALLY call it that?
It sounds like something JR would have said when calling a replay and for whatever reason, they decided to keep it. It's one step removed from having a move actually called the "Whattamaneuver."
    Originally posted by CRZ
    Mickie actaully has a skirt, which keeps riding up, which at least brought back happier memories of when she wore skirts and always seemed to keep her legs spread as far wide apart as possible.
I bet it was just killing Lawler to not be able to say "she's a great wrestler, but I really love to see her box."
    Originally posted by CRZ
    this is made SLIGHTLY more entertaining by the fact that there's something making a hell of a lot of noise but "One Take Michaels & Helmsley" gamely keep on, shouting over it.
This was fantastic. I was amused, and then I felt stupid for laughing at what was clearly a set-up, and then... it wasn't a set-up. Just a mess.



JK: LJ, FB, T
drjayphd
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#15 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.78
You wanted the best, you got... Out of Context Quote of the Week: FROM THE VAULTS.

"I just want the ability to crush a man's neck with my thighs." (JST)


    Originally posted by supersalvadoran
    BTW, not to go off on a tangent, but am I wrong to at least like the fact it screwed up Megan's career royally? Couldn't have happened to a more stuck up, selfish, materialistic shank, IMO.



Huh?



JustinShapiro
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#16 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.38
    Originally posted by John Orquiola
    When Cirque Du Soliel came out, Vince actually said, "Those glasses look gay!" into the mic on live TV.


I think it was masks. Gay masks. See, this is why they have to script their promos, so the chairman doesn't use gay as a pejorative on live TV.


    Chris Jericho and The Big Show were surrounded by black people tonight, and got mugged.


Jericho & Show vs. black tagteams and their celebrity friends is the feud of the year.

"Next up the unconventional team of Ezekiel Jackson and Shelton Benjamin. Abraham Washington is the celebrity."
- the-W.com user AlbySure


    If this were ten years ago, the King would have been nervous the whole episode and made a "where's my wallet?" joke.


"Here's the thing about Shelton Benjamin, J.R. He's black and therefore a criminal! Wah ha!"

    Originally posted by Captaincuba
    So aside from Legacy and Jerishow are there any other heels that could challenge Cena if/when he wins?


If we figure that there's no way Cena is going to lose an I Quit match, then they can bring them back one more time for Hell in a Cell. Which would be a challenge of expectations for those two, but I'd rather see Cena/Orton in HIAC than HHH/Orton in an overindulgent, 30-minute "epic encounter."

After that it's Bragging Rights, the show where we, the WWE Universe, have the power to pick his opponent. So it can be anyone we want (Steve Austin to stunner)!


    Jerishow should keep the straps for however long the longest reign is...Just think of the massive rub the team that inevitably beats them will get.


They gotta keep 'em until Edge gets back, then Edge can go through Show to get to Jericho if there's enough time to do two programs before Wrestlemania. But if Edge got a partner to go against both of them, and that partner was Christian ... I would just kvell.
CajunMan
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#17 Posted on | Instant Rating: 0.79
Woooooooo, Thank you for thr recap CRZ. Welcome back! Also the name of the Arena was the Thomas&Mack Center(LOL). Anyway I never thought I would see HBO being advertised on WWE RAW. The whole two hours reminded me of the old "Raw is War" days. Great show.

DJ FrostyFreeze
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#18 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.45
Read it and weep, fella


    Originally posted by CajunMan
    The whole two hours reminded me of the old "Raw is War" days. Great show.
Agreed. The show definitely had a looser/less-scripted feel to me. I hope it's the start of a trend.



CLICK OR DIE
geemoney
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#19 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.36
Sorry, my internet shit the bed in the the afternoon and I couldn't get it back up in time to post. I've said it before, I'm nothing if not a completist, so here's the recap I was able to type up:

TONIGHT: I have no idea what’s going on tonight because my internet crapped the bed this afternoon! However, I do know that Floyd Mayweather has been involved in some controversy in the past 24 hours, but is still slated to be Raw guest host tonight. I’m sure he’ll be confronted by Big Show at some point. Fall-out from Summerslam would be expected too, and they have to build toward Bragging Rights, September 13th, already. The big question: Where does Brett DiBiase fit in to Legacy? Another question: Will DX be around for the foreseeable future? Oh, and it’s Lilian’s last night!

-WWE Open.

-Clips aired of last night’s WWE Title match between John Cena and Randy Orton with special focus on the fan interference.

-Close-up on Orton’s face backstage, as he talked about winning the title last night and the fan from the stands interrupting the match. Ted DiBiase said it was his brother that ran in. Then Brett walked into the picture. Ted said Brett was seated at ringside to watch him compete, but no one knew he was going to interfere. Orton scolded Brett and said his behavior will not be tolerated. Then he said Brett won’t interfere in any more of his matches. Brett apologized, but Cody said Orton would’ve won the match regardless.

-No big ado to open, just wide shots of the fans as Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole opened things by reminding us that Floyd Mayweather would be in charge tonight.

-Lilian Garcia introduced the Chairman, Mr. McMahon. Is he going to publicly fire/humiliate Lilian? Mr. McMahon was hyped about Money Mayweather hosting tonight, but the fans mostly booed him. McMahon turned to last night, and said the title match was marred in controversy, but the ref’s decision is final. Except when the other ref ran in last night to correct the actual ref. McMahon said Cena would get a re-match against Orton in three weeks....fans booed, so Vince tried to appease them by saying you never know what could happen tonight. He said at Bragging Rights, the main events will be submission matches and Orton vs. Cena will be an “I Quit” match. Oh, and if anyone interferes on behalf of Orton, Randy will be stripped of his title. McMahon was finished and as he walked out, Degeneration X came out.

Lots of DX glowsticks in the crowd, and fans chanted “DX, DX.” Vince tried to leave, but Triple H made sure he stuck around. Hunter said they couldn’t bring the tank from last night thanks to the economy. Triple H said he doesn’t like “good guy” Vince McMahon. He said it was creepy and it’s not right. “It’s like Michael Vick at a PETA convention.” Triple H wondered why Vince was in such a good mood. Shawn said he knows and that today is August 24th- Vince’s birthday. Hunter guessed it was Dave Chapelle’s birthday. “A lot whiter and a lot crazier” said Shawn. Triple H guessed Marlee Matlin. “Older and far more incoherent” Shawn said. HHH tried to think of someone they know that is all those things. Triple H finally got it, but said it was Vince’s 84th birthday. Shawn whispered in his ear as the fans chanted “84, 84.” Hunter corrected himself by saying it was Vince’s 74th birthday. The fans chanted THAT age too! Then Hunter got it down to 70. The fans even chanted that a bit. Vince, in that gravelly voice, yelled to Hunter that he was 64. They made fun of him for admitting his age, so Vince asked them to “just leave.” Hunter warned him that he doesn’t have many more birthdays left, especially in Las Vegas. Shawn then calmly told Vince that if he doesn’t want to have a happy birthday, he respects that. Shawn told Hunter that Vince was a pioneer, and Hunter said he actually was, with the wagon trains and everything. That was funny. Shawn said Vince’s genius is the reason we watch WWE TV. He said he hoped Vince would let them show a tribute to him.

The tribute video aired of various stages of Vince’s life, from his family to his professional accolades. “Through The Years” was the song that played, until the package got interrupted by the video of Vince singing “Stand Back” and the various negative Vince moments- DX getting him, getting shaved by Trump, getting spoofed by Hunter, pissing his pants, chasing a chicken in the snow, getting jumped on by Mae Young. Vince said he wouldn't forget this, then Triple H said at his age he probably would. They tried to sing "Happy Birthday," but Hunter interrupted and said he just wasn't feeling it. He had a giant cake wheeled down to ringside, presumably with Big Dick Johnson inside. But Hunter said cake isn't enough, after all, its Vegas. Showgirls walked out, followed by some Cirque de Soleil performers. Shawn brought out an Elvis impersonator. Elvis gave Vince a pair of sunglasses to put on, which he did. He asked Vince to wiggle his hips and Vince did. Elvis led everyone in singing "Happy Birthday" again. This time, they got through the whole thing. We're at 21 minutes past the hour here. Hunter told Vince to look at his cake and out popped Big Dick Johnson. He struggled to get out of the cake as Vince winced. And Cole laughed hysterically. Vince threw the oily bastard out of the ring. Vince said "I've had about enough of this birthday crap." Triple H said they have one last thing, and it's private, it's a family thing, so they had all the others leave the ring. Shawn tried to plead innocence as everyone left. Hunter told everyone to close their eyes for one more private, family thing. Hunter said he knows Vince is going to love it, then they positioned Vince in the middle of the ring and kept looking toward the ceiling. Vince didn't seem to know what was going on. But before anything could happen, DiBiase and Rhodes attacked Shawn and Hunter. Eventually, Shawn got a chair from ringside and fended them off. Big heat for that. Orton walked down the ramp to where they were and Triple H said that since Floyd Mayweather isn't here yet, he's going to make a match of all three members of Legacy against DX........and Vince McMahon. Then Vince said the match was no DQ. McMahon said he's always wanted to do this part....."and if you're not down with DX, I've got two words for ya!" First he hated them, then he didn't, then he did again, then he didn't, and that was all in this ONE segment, which ended at 9:26 EST.

-A Floyd Mayweather video aired, the one they showed at Summerslam last night I believe. He's the guest host tonight.

[Commercial Break]

(1) Santino Marella vs. The Miz
Miz got Santino down right off the bat and kicked away at him. Marella blocked a hip toss and took Miz down with one of his own. Miz came back with a choke on the top rope. Kick to the head of the seated Santino (theoretically- looked like it missed though) and got a two-count. Miz missed a corner charge, then a clothesline. Marella came back with some right hands. He missed a headbutt and Miz landed the Skull Crushing Finale for the win.

Winner: Miz, at 2:06. Another win in the rebuilding of Miz.

Miz got on the mic and said that win is one step closer to beating Kof Kingston and becoming the United States Champion.

-Kelly Kelly, Mickie James and Gail Kim were walking backstage. They're in a six-Diva tag match, a Mayweather Melee, which is next.

[Commercial Break]

(2) Alicia Fox & Rosa Mendes & Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly & Gail Kim & Mickie James- Mayweather Melee Match
Not sure what a Mayweather Melee is, but all the ladies had boxing gloves (more like MMA gloves, I guess) and attire. Cole said it's simply a six-person tag match though. Lots of "Everlast" logos on the gear. Kelly with a hurricanrana on Beth for two. She tried a headscissor, but Beth caught her for a back-breaker and a two count. "Push Gail Kim" sign in the front row. Rosa then tagged in, but couldn't do much with Kelly. Mickie with lefts and rights on Fox that looked real good. Neck-breaker on Fox as her pin was interrupted by Phoenix. Gail dropkicked Beth off the top rope and Kelly dropkicked Mendes off the apron. Thesz Press by Mickie on Alicia. Fox sent James shoulder-first into the ring post, then hit a type of axe kick (is that the generic black person finisher? First booker, then K-Kwick and now Fox) and got the win.

Winners: Fox, Mendes and Phoenix, at 2:35. Good while it lasted. Is Fox going to be the next to challenge James?

-They hyped the six-man main event that's coming up, with Legacy taking on DX.

[Commercial Break]

-Backstage, Shawn Michaels was worried about their match as Triple H was lookinkg at the case of the new WCW DVD. Shawn asked if Hunter was even listening and Hunter said no, then got in a cheap plug in for the DVD. A loud noise in the background forced them to talk louder. Shawn said they only shamelessly plug their products. Triple H did and plugged the t-shirt, almost directing people to go to WCW.com to buy them. The loud noise stopped and Hunter asked why he was shouting. Hunter said they had an idea to get Vince mad and ready for their main event. Then they went to Vince's office, and Jillian came up behind him dressed as Marilyn Monroe and singing "Happy Birthday." He yelled for her to get out of his office. Wow, everything that could go wrong in that DX segment went wrong, I think.

-Big Show and Chris Jericho came to the ring. They clips of Show getting knocked silly by Mayweather and his brass knucks at Wrestlemania XXIV. Show said Mayweather was hiding from him, and that's the best decision he ever made. Show said he's still got some unifinished business with him. Show said he isn't leaving the ring until Floyd gets to the arena. He said no one can make him and Jericho chimed in that no one can make him either. Then on the Titantron, Floyd and his entourage were shown walking backstage (with t-shirts hyping his next fight). I guess we'll see what happens next.

[Commercial Break]

-Show and Jericho were still in the ring out of break. Lilian got on the mic and announced Floyd Mayweather as tonight's guest host (along with a list of his accomplishments and apparently, his net worth). Well, Mayweather and nine of his entourage members came out. He got fireworks to go along with his entrance. Mayweather looked and acted just like a complete heel here too. The entourage stayed on the outside of the ring while Floyd went in to face Show and Jericho. Mayweather walked up to Show and reminded him of what happened at last year's 'Mania and said he would do it again tonight. BUT, he said he had a PPV bout on September 19th that's more important. Floyd went face-to-face with Jericho and even took off his sunglasses. Jericho said Floyd was introduced as the greatest fighter in the world, but he thinks he's a great promoter and showboater, but as a boxer, he doesn't think he's very good. Mayweather looked like he had ants in his pants. Jericho said in his comeback fight in September, he thinks he's going to knock Floyd out. Big Show said after Marquez cleans his clock, maybe he and Jericho will wipe him from the face of the planet. Then MVP's music hit.

On the ramp and with a mic, he told Jericho and Show he doesn't appreciate them talking to Mayweather like that because he's made him a lot of money over the years. MVP said they might be Unified Tag Champions, but clearly they're not that smart. He called Jericho "Christina" again. Jericho reminded MVP that Floyd only knocked Big Show out with the help of many of his friends. MVP said things could've changed if Show had some friends. Jericho told MVP that Show was his friend and MVP finally interrupted with a "shutup!" He said people are tired of hearing from Jericho. The only reason Jericho is on Raw, he said, is because Jericho is a Unified Tag Champ. He said if someone were to beat them, he could send Jericho to Smackdown. Show asked who was going to beat them. MVP asked Floyd if he could find a partner, could they challenge Show and Jericho for the titles at Breaking Point? Floyd said he liked it and wanted it tonight. MVP brought out his partner, Mark Henry. I guess the match is next.

[Commercial Break]

(3) Chris Jericho & Big Show vs. MVP & Mark Henry
This is non-title, but if the challengers win, they get a shot at the belts at Breaking Point. Match was JIP with Mayweather watching from ringside. Crowd chanted "MVP, MVP" when he was in peril against Big Show. Big boot sent Montel Vontavious Porter to the mat. Full-nelson by Show. He then slammed MVP out of it, shades of Tom Brandi. Tag in to Jericho, who went after Henry, allowing Show to choke MVP with the ref distracted. Slap to the head by Jericho, who hit the ropes and was subsequently hit with a clothesline. Both men were down, but Y2J grabbed the legs of MVP to prevent him from making a tag. "You next, Jericho!" shouted Mayweather from ringside. Jericho threw MVP out of the ring. Nothing happened out there, so back in the ring they went. MVP landed a few blows with his forearm, but couldn't make it to his corner to tag. Big Show came in instead and worked the body. He elbowdropped the knee and leg of MVP. Jericho back in and the two legal men did a double clothesline. Both men were down as Floyd cheered his man on from ringside as they went to break.

[Commercial Break]

MVP and Jericho were in there out of break. A knee lift by Jericho turned into a roll-up by MVP for two. Show taunted Floyd, who was sitting at ringside. MVP finally made the tag and Mark Henry got the crowd behind him. Henry missed a splash in the corner, but avoided a Codebreaker. World's Strongest Slam was reversed into a DDT by Jericho. But he couldn't get the cover off that and tagged in MVP. Crowd has been electric tonight. Enziguiri by Jericho after some offense by MVP. Henry broke up the pin and knocked Show out of the ring as the big man tried to get involved. Floyd handed MVP what appeared to be a pair of brass knuckles (or a necklace, as Lawler called it). The ref made sure Henry was in the corner while MVP took Jericho down with one punch and got the pin.

Winners: MVP & Henry, 14:32 after it was JIP.

-Teddy, Cody and Brett were talking in the locker room about getting another shot at DX. Randy walked in and sent Brett out. Orton said not only can they beat DX tonight, but shut down Vince on his birthday. He told Legacy to redeem themselves for what happened last night and Orton said this time when he kicks Vince in the skull, he won't be getting up.

[Commercial Break]

(4) Chavo Guerrero vs. Hornswoggle-Special Boxing Exhibition Match
No entrances, but referee John Cone ("I'm fair, but I'm firm") gave instructions. He did tell Chavo that he didn't need his gloves though. Instead, he got giant, oversized boxing gloves from ringside for Chavo to use. Chavo missed a giant Khali-like chop with the glove, and Horny peppered him with some body shots. He got Chavo in the corner and the ref had to break that up. Chavo missed another giant punch that took him down to a knee. Horny hit him in the face and Chavo made it up at the count of two. He took off the gloves and slammed Hornswoggle, drawing a DQ.

Winner: Hornswoggle, via DQ, at 1:06.

Chavo went up for a frog splash, but Evan Bourne came to the aid of Hornswoggle. He cleaned house on Chavo and hit the Shooting Star Press. Eh, I still would've rather seen the Kendrick vs. Bourne feud. Bourne helped Hornswoggle to his feet and hugged him.

-Still to come, Vince & DX vs. Legacy.

[Commercial Break- Apparently, Jeff Hardy will fight C.M Punk in a steel cage match this week on Smackdown.]

-Cole and Lawler talked on camera about Summerslam weekend. Then they showed some of the festivities that took place before Summerslam, including Betty's Battle, the fight against Lou Gehrig's Disease, and interviews with celebs and pseudo-celebs alike. Hey, the chick from Fresh Prince! And she's still hot. Summerslam Fan Axxess was shown too.

-McMahon was sparring with Mayweather backstage. McMahon asked who would win, Vince or Ali in his prime. Floyd said Vince had more money, so-. And that was it. Carlito came in and said Floyd was a terrible guest host and mentioned something about Primo. Then DX walked in and Triple H made a crack about getting busy with Vince's daughter. Vince got mad and punched Carlito, knocking him onto the couch. Shawn declared that, "cool."

[Commercial Break]

-More clips aired of Summerslam.

(5) Shawn Michaels & Triple & Vince McMahon vs. Randy Orton & Ted DiBiase & Cody Rhodes-No DQ Match
Before the bell, Triple H back-dropped Michaels over the top and onto Legacy on the outside. Quick tags by the faces once the bell rang. Rhodes got to take the punishcment and Triple H back-dropped Rhodes onto the other two Legacy members on the floor. Orton started retreating but just re-grouped with Legacy at the bottom of the ramp as they went to break about 1:30 into the match.

[Commercial Break]

Hunter was hulking out of a Teddy chin-lock out of break. Dream Street reversed into a DDT. Shawn tagged in and worked over DiBiase, but some showboating allowed Rhodes to come in and bulldog Shawn. Cole helpfully reminded us it was a no-DQ match, something I believe Lilian neglected to mention at the outset. Orton came in and stomped away at HBK. Rhodes with a unique headlock on Michaels. The heels stayed aggressive on one-half of Degeneration X. Flying kneedrop found the mark from Randy. And another. I just realized, there's been no John Cena on the show up to this point. Orton had Michaels in a long chin-lock. He suplexed out of it though and again, both men found themselves on the mat. Orton tagged in Cody, who took out Michaels' partners first, then went after Shawn. But Shawn kicked him away and made the hot tag to Triple H. Vintage high knee from The Game. Double-A Spinebuster from Hunter. Mr. McMahon begged for the tag, but first, Triple H landed a Pedigree. He made the cover, but Orton broke up the pin. He set up for the concussion kick, but a flying forearm by Michaels intercepted him. Orton fled the ring with DX and McMahon sill in the ring. As he backed away, John Cena's music hit and Cena clubbed away at him. In the ring, Michaels superkicked him, Cena gave him the Attitude Adjustment and McMahon got the pin.

Winners: Michaels, Triple H and McMahon, at 13:38. Now THAT'S how you book a heel. Not.

After a replay, Orton laid on the outside of the ring as the faces celebrated in the ring.


JimBob Skeeter
Bratwurst








Since: 2.1.02
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Since last post: 1 day
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#20 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.65
    Originally posted by geemoney
    Shawn said they only shamelessly plug their products. Triple H did and plugged the t-shirt, almost directing people to go to WCW.com to buy them. The loud noise stopped and Hunter asked why he was shouting.



Once that noise started, I had a feeling it wasn't planned, and they improv'd well, but when Hunter started teh "Dubbaya-sea-dubbaya-dot...." then went into "Double You Double You......" and went into "uuuuuuhhhhhhh", completely blanking the "E" part, but when Shawn saved him with "DOT.COM!", I laughed my ass off. Hunter asking why he was shouting was icing on the cake, too.

Oh, and put me in the group as thinking it was Mae Young in the cake, too.

JeriShow's theme is sweet, btw.
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A little before 3PM, I was flipping the dial as I kept one eye on the NCAA stuff and waited for a Law & Order rerun to start, and when I hit Fox Sports Net (New York), there's Kevin Nash arguing with Dusty Rhodes.
- Peter The Hegemon, TNA Timeslot change? (2005)
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