Hulk Hogan’s Nephew ‘King’ David Bollea: Bring Me Floyd Mayweather!
Making His MMA Debut This Sunday at the St. Pete Times Forum, Bollea Challenges the Pound-for-Pound Boxing Champion to Step inside the XFC Steel Cage
TAMPA, FL: Welterweight champion ‘Pretty Boy’ Floyd Mayweather, after defeating ring legends like Oscar De La Hoya and Arturo Gatti, is preparing to compete against ‘The Big Show’ Paul White at the WWE’s signature Pay-Per-View event Wrestlemania in Orlando, Florida on March 30, 2008. One person with a personal connection to the world of bodyslams and piledrivers hopes that Mayweather will forego the wrestling ring – and enter the unscripted realm of the Mixed Martial Arts (MMA).
“My Uncle Hulk Hogan headlined countless Wrestlemania’s, and I have enormous respect for the superstars of the WWE,” said ‘King’ David Bollea, who’s making his MMA professional debut at the XFC’s Salute to Our Armed Forces 2 extravaganza at the St. Petersburg Times Forum this Sunday on March 2. “But as everyone knows, the outcomes of wrestling matches are predetermined. If Floyd Mayweather truly wants to establish himself as the best fighter on the planet, then he needs to enter the XFC steel cage and prepare to get his ass kicked. And kicking the asses of over-hyped ‘Pretty Boys’ is a Hogan family specialty.”
But what would motivate someone like Floyd Mayweather to risk his reputation and boxing career by entering the anything-goes environment of MMA? According to Bollea, it all comes down to personal pride – and a burning desire to be recognized as the very best. “We all bleed and we all die,” said Bollea between training sessions. “But for a select few of us, we have a unique opportunity to achieve immortality by standing before 15,000 screaming fans and cementing a legacy as the greatest fighter in the history of MMA. Look, if Floyd wants to brag about being the world’s best boxer ‘cause he throws pitter-patter punches in a boxing ring, more power to him. That’s fine. But if he’s gonna continue to claim that he’s the world’s best fighter, then he has a moral obligation to every MMA fan to accept my challenge. Otherwise, he better shut his mouth and pray we don’t cross paths.”
Despite his tough words, ‘King’ David Bollea is willing to offer Mayweather a major pre-fight concession: a promise to avoid facial disfigurement. “’Pretty Boy’ Floyd is a very good-looking guy,” Bollea sheepishly acknowledged. “If he were any prettier, he ought to be wearing a pink dress and lace panties. So, as a sign of goodwill, I hereby pledge that when I whip his ass, I’ll carefully avoid transforming that pretty little face of his into a pile of mashed potatoes. That way, even when he’s completely discredited as being ‘the best fighter on the planet,’ he can still appear on ‘America’s Top Model,’ or something.”
XFC’s Salute to Our Armed Forces 2 fight card extravaganza will take place on March 2 at the St. Petersburg Times Forum. Most of the fighters are either military veterans, or hail from military families. The festivities will begin at noon , with the first fight taking place at 5:25 pm . Tickets are available at all Ticketmaster locations. For more information, please visit www.saluteourarmedforces.com or www.mmaxfc.com.
Sad to see this in the paper today, I remember cutting my mark teeth watching Bob and 'Yukon' Moose Cholak mangle commercials for Ben's Auto Sales.. (quoted from the registration-required Chicago Tribune - hope that's okay here)