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The W - Pro Wrestling - ISW Love Hurts Results - Maybe NSFW - 02/24/08
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Since: 2.1.02
From: Montreal, Quebec, CANADA

Since last post: 1901 days
Last activity: 1892 days
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.84
Inter-Species Wrestling Press Release:

For Immediate Release:

Mike Rotch
with additional commentary by Llakor in italics

Inter-Species Wrestling


First off, the crowd numbers. Inter Species Wrestling refuses to sugar-coat, and are absolutely thrilled to announce that Love Hurts drew a crowd of 95 paid fans - who were hot like fi-yaaaa for most of the night. Thanks to them for showing up, and showing support for indy wrestling, the likes of which they'd never seen before.

The event, as always, was filmed by Fortune Video Editing for a soon-to-be released DVD. You can, of course, pick that up at, as well as - roughly a week or two after it's release at Fortune.

And for those of you who like to know this kinda thing - commentary was done by Mike Rotch, Kevin Steen, Giant Tiger, Shayne Hawke, Twiggy, Llakor, Pornstar Juan and a very special guest - Franky The Mobster.

I think that all I said on commentary was that I was hiding behind Rotchy during the Main Event because Kevin Steen said that he was going to kick my ass after winning the ISW title.


Show started off with Beef Wellington interrupting the opening announcements. He stated that he would in no way, shape, or form compete in a match in which he had a chance of losing, and being subjected to some messy man-love from Giant Tiger. Newly announced (actually, we never announced it formally...) commissioner, and Inter Species Wrestling official ring announcer Llakor then informed Beef that not only would he be wrestling the match - but he would be forced to wear embarrassing ring gear (chosen by Llakor), and come out to whatever music he chose for him, as well. Beef still refused, which forced the commish to get tough - informing him that if he didn't compete - he wouldn't get the $20 payday he'd been promised. An absolutely irated Beef then gave in.

By "never announced formally" Rotchy means = "So secret we didn't even tell Llakor he was ISW Commissioner until the day after the show!"

The NEW ISW Commissioner blissfully unaware of his new responsibilities

Match 1 - MVP vs. ?? - Originally scheduled to take on Kenny The Bastard - Michael Von Payton came out from the backstage area, and informed us all that Kenny didn't make it tonight. He then challenged any other animal backstage to a match. A challenge that was answered by El Hijo Del Bamboo! The panda proved to be better, stronger, and faster than his deceased father was - but came up short in the end, as MVP hit him with an insane fireman's carry into a lungblower for the win.

Won by MVP in 6:25

ISW's only second generation wrestler El Hijo del Bamboo has the experience of a cub but the body of an adult Panda. This sometimes creates difficulties for this young ISW superstar. When El Hijo del Bamboo was being secretly trained by his father the late, lamented Bamboo (killed by Damian during the ISW Christmas show in 2005) the one area of conflict in their training was that Bamboo wanted his son to emulate wrestlers with a Panda like body shape: Yokozuna and Rikishi for example, while El Hijo del Bamboo wanted to emulate his hero Rey Mysterio Jr. Unfortunately, while El Hijo del Bamboo may have the will and the skill to pull off the 619, he no longer has the cub-like hips to pull the move off.

Bakais, the most professional ref in Quebec, consoles El Hijo del Bamboo

Post match, some masked men entered the ring to no music, alongside a referee.

Match 2 - The Badd Boys defeated any poor soul dragged, or willing to get, into the ring to face them. Pre-massacre, the Badd Boys introduced the man who made them what they are, their father - Dadd Badd. Brad and Chad defeated their designated masked opponents with their patented Badd Move - as their father press slammed anyone in sight (including the ring crew members) out of the ring, onto the unforgiving stage.

Won by the Badd Brothers and Dadd Badd in 1:35

After the match the Badd Brothers and Dadd Badd kicked my ass back into the ring. As I was lying on my back trying to regain my composure one of the fans at ring-side "Madness" mocked my splendiferous red suit. I shut up the hecklers for the night by telling Madness that on Monday I would be wearing normal clothes, but he would still be ugly.

Crowd control is IMPORTANT.

Brad and Chad Badd

Dadd Badd press slamming a broom boy

Match 3 - In the obligatory "wrestling" match of the evening - Max Boyer defeated Kid Kamikaze with a bridging wheelbarrow suplex. This was Kid Kamikaze's 4th invitational challenge, and only his first singles loss in ISW. This match was short, sweet, and heavy on the wrestling. Filled the quota, in preparation for...

Won by Max Boyer in 6:26

Max Boyer is PERFECT!

Match 4 - "A F*CKED UP MATCH" - Beef Wellington made his way to the ring, wearing tight bicycle shorts, tassles, and a flowered shirt. His theme music involved the sounds of someone dropping a deuce. All chosen by Commissioner Llakor. The lights then dimmed, and "The End" by The Doors boomed over the speakers - as an incredibly drunk Giant Tiger (who was announced as the "Beef Father F*cker Champion", and had a championship belt) made his way around ringside in pissed stained jeans, with a bottle of Beefeater gin in his hand. He proceeded to take large swigs of the alcoholic beverage, and kiss a male fan on the mouth. When he finally entered the ring, he kicked off his flip flops, and took off his jeans to reveal tights fashioned from duct tape. The match was anything you could expect from these two, and more - as Beef fought not only for the freedom of his father - but for his $20 payoff. In the end, it was Giant Tiger who nailed his patented hands-free pedigree - taking the match and custody of Beef for 73 hours. Tiger then applied some lipstick to his own face, while ordering Beef to remove his own shirt - slowly - before finally forcing Beef into a full on, messy, lip-on-lip kiss that lasted several moments.

Words cannot do this match justice. It received a loud "match of the year" chant, and must be seen to be believed.

Won by Giant Tiger in 9:22.

I APPROVE this Wardrobe!

This Wardrobe - Not so much.

Ladies and Gentlemen - GEORGE CLOONEY!

Giant Tiger is YOUR Beef Father Fucker Champion of the WORLD!

Note Giant Tiger's Choice of Beverage.

And Giant Tiger didn't even chew a tic-tac first!

Llakor's attempt at announcing a 15 minute intermission was interrupted by The Fresh Prince of Bel Oeil - who stated that the only thing wrong with this show thus far, was that he didn't have a match. Llakor rectified this situation, by bringing out a gladiator. Yes. Llakor's first action as commissioner of Inter Species Wrestling was apparently to find a real life gladiator - Maximus Primal. The Fresh Prince's funky dance moves couldn't save him, as when Llakor gave the thumbs down - the gladiator completely destroyed the young rap music superstar. After a huge powerbomb, he tossed Prince to the outside - ala Uncle Phil on Jazz - before heading backstage, so people could take piss breaks.

Not a match. Was not timed.

Not the most efficient Gladiator in the world. I had to give him the thumbs down TWICE!

The Fresh Prince rocking the sweater vest! OLD SCHOOL!

"Death smiles at us all. All a man can do is smile back."

Match 5 - "Inter Species Scramble IV" - The Walking Dead defeated The McGoths to win the scramble, in an elimination contest that also contained The Untouchables(formerly Thundercock), and When Animals Attack. An action packed match, that left fans of all ages entertained.

When Animals Attack eliminated the Untouchables at 7:39 when Flip D. Berger at ringside - taking burger orders from the crowd - asked Jimmy Stone and Dan Paysan what they wanted on their order.

The McGoths eliminated When Animal Attack at 8:05 when Moohammad chased Flip D. Berger backstage leaving former World Champion the Iron Sheep to be pinned by Spooky and Bloodlust McGoth.

The Walking Dead won the match at 11:30 after "That Zombienese Move" from Izzy Deadyet and a 360 Top Rope Stomp from Kraven.

I think that's Bloodlust McGoth in the middle (I think Spooky wears the blue mask.) Madness is on the right.

Match 6 - "I'M IN LOVE!" - Sexxxy Eddy defeated Steve, after a low blow - in a match that saw Eddy discover what I already did a few months back. I told you all, I don't book girls.

Won by Eddy in 5:02 with a mule kick

((( NSFW PHOTO LINK !!! )))

I have no words

Match 7 - "Teacher vs. Student" - El Generico defeated Twiggy via brainbuster, in what was referred to by many as the match of the night. Fans were exposed to a more fired up, and intense Twiggy - after minutes of El Generico, the man who taught him everything he knows, countering all of his offense. One crucial point in the match saw Twiggy hit a version of Generico's corner yakuza kick, rocking and shocking his mentor at the same time. Another encounter that needs to be seen, as words cannot do it for you.

AMAZING match! Also, and this is going to KILL Twiggy, El Generico won the match in 14:59 one second away from me declaring the match a time limit draw. Although I might have wimped out on that because the crowd would have KILLED me if I had stopped the match.

Bakais, Twiggy and El Generico

Match 8 - MAIN EVENT - INTER SPECIES TITLE MATCH - Kevin Steen made his way out first, and grabbed the mike - informing all in attendance that Inter Species Champion - Viking - didn't show up to Foufounes Electriques to defend his title on that night. It was then announced that he was stripped of the title, and that the winner of the following 3-way encounter would be crowned champion. Zombified and Player Uno then made their way to the ring, with their respective goals in mind. Zombified wanting the title. Uno wanting revenge on Steen. The much bigger "Mr. Wrestling" dominated the walking corpse and gaming geek for the majority of the match, only to be blindsided in the end by a Player Uno top rope M.Bison head stomp, as Steen package piledrove Zombified. With Steen reeling from the head stomp, Uno then hit a pumphandle piledriver on Zombified - destroying the brain, and the ghoul - for the 1-2-3 and the title win.

Post match/end of the show saw a shocked and disappointed Kevin Steen extend his hand to the new champion - only to blow a snot rocket in his face, before Uno could accept. The bad blood between these two seems to have only gotten...badder.

Won by Player Uno in 13:25

The only thing that kept Kevin Steen from winning this thing out-right is the fact that Player Uno were able to work rather effectively as a team to neutralize Steen's strength advantage. Uno finally gets his sweet revenge on Steen for Kill UNO! and Kill UNO 2!

Oh and hey what a weekend for Kevin Steen. He beats Delirious and Go Shiozaki (NOAH), makes Joey Matthews/Mercury tap, makes the American Dragon Brian Danielson tap (!), earns a shot at the ROH title, nearly wins the ISW title and with El Generico issued a challenge to ROH Tag Team Champions the No Remorse Corps

I am oddly relaxed for a man whose ass Kevin Steen is promising to kick later in the night. I am rocking the Twiggy Fan Club T-Shirt. (Buy one now. Twiggy needs to eat!) I am also wearing Rikki Radcliffe's sunglasses. Rikki is Twiggy's manager.

Player Uno. YOUR NEW ISW Champion!

Zombified: Zombies can RUN!

DVD will be released soon. Just buy the frickin' thing, already!

-Mike Rotch
Owner - Inter Species Wrestling

Visit the ISW Inter-web!
ISW Online:
ISW Myspace:


Mandatory Llakor Plugs

Montreal Wrestling Fans take note:

A fictional wrestling-xploitation film Shot Entirely in Mexico, for a mere $20,000 by the makers of Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter and starring Canadian Wrestling Superstar VAMPIRO has its Montreal Premiere in March.

The Dead Sleep Easy

Directed by Lee Demarbre
Montreal Sneak Preview
Cinma du Parc 3575, Avenue du Parc (corner of Prince-Arthur) 514 281-1900
Thursday March 13, 9:15pm

Price: $10 ($7 students/seniors)


The IWS presents: Know Your Enemies, Saturday, March 22nd, 2008 at Bogeys World Bar & Billiard, 3250 Cremazie Est (corner of Cremazie and St-Michel near the St-Michel metro), Montreal, Quebec, CANADA. Doors open at 7:30 pm, show starts at 9:00 pm, tickets are $20 for VIP, $15 for Regular. 18+, card and times subject to change. For more information go to or e-mail .

The IWS presents: Scarred For Life, Saturday, April 26th, 2008 at Bogeys World Bar & Billiard, 3250 Cremazie Est (corner of Cremazie and St-Michel near the St-Michel metro), Montreal, Quebec, CANADA. Doors open at 7:30 pm, show starts at 9:00 pm, tickets are $20 for VIP, $15 for Regular. 18+, card and times subject to change. For more information go to or e-mail .


Our DVDs for each show are released through Our biggest recent release is Un FN Sanctioned 2007 featuring then NWA World Heavyweight Champion Christian Cage - . Our best-selling DVD from last year is Un FN Sanctioned 2006 featuring Sabus last match in the indies before his re-debut on Raw (two nights later) as well as the crazy hardcore Fans Bring the Weapons match -


IWS fans in Germany can now pick some of our best shows from a fed almost as crazy and blood-thirsty as us: wXw. With our permission, they are making available the following shows to German (and European) fans:
Un FN Sanctioned 2003 Medley show
Un FN Sanctioned 2005 Medley show
Un FN Sanctioned 2006 Medley show
Un FN Sanctioned 2007 Medley show
Blood, Sweat and Beers 2007 Medley show
Scarred for Life 2005 Steen vs. Damian
Blood, Sweat and Beers 2005 Steen vs. Damian II
Summer Slaughter 2007 Steen vs. Damian III
Hardcore Heat 2006 Steen vs. Viking

For more details contact:


Finally, the Film Festival that I run when I am not Mannys slave, the YoungCuts Film Festival, is now accepting submissions:

The YoungCuts Film Festival is the Premiere Showcase for Great Short Films from the Best Young Film Makers (generally 25 and under.)

To see some of the great films that have played at the Festival in the past go here:

"Don't Blame CANADA, Blame Yourselves!"
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Big Brother

Since: 9.12.01
From: ミネアポリス

Since last post: 3 days
Last activity: 2 days
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.00
For the love of God, STOP.

Packman V2

Since: 16.3.04
From: Albuquerque, NM

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 10 hours
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.31
The only thing I can add to how much I have a gut feeling the guy in the tiger mask is Sean Waltman.

Beef Father Fucker? Indeed. What?

As young as
he feels

Since: 11.12.01
From: China, Maine

Since last post: 4 days
Last activity: 1 day
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.30

Commissioner Llakor sitting down on the job? Stand up, man!

The World Champion New York Football Giants

Since: 2.1.02
From: Montreal, Quebec, CANADA

Since last post: 1901 days
Last activity: 1892 days
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.41
    Originally posted by pieman
    Commissioner Llakor sitting down on the job? Stand up, man!

I just figured out when that picture was taken. It was right after the Badd Brothers match. I was on the stage behind the ring, stepping through the carnage of the wrestlers press slammed on the stage to announce the next match when the Badd Brothers bumrushed me through the ropes and I tripped and landed on my butt.

I have the pen in my hand because I was in the process of writing down the time of the match on my cue cards when they grabbed me.

Sadly, you can only see the bottom of my tribute to the Cat red felt slippers.

PS. Twiggy is my wardrobe consultant.

"Don't Blame CANADA, Blame Yourselves!"
Deputy Marshall

Since: 28.6.04
From: Troy, NY

Since last post: 1346 days
Last activity: 867 days
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.96
Llakor, dude, are you alright? Those Badd Boys are real trouble. Those miscreants are the reason that I won't go to the local Pool Hall anymore, and why I check under my bed at night before I go to sleep (when I CAN sleep in the rare instances where I can stop living in fear of them long enough to get some rest).

And now, we have Daddy Badd press-slamming people. This is awful. I've heard stories about him, none of which I'd even recount here. They're that awful.

Great Tiger/Beef Wellington is right up there with Ric Flair/Dusty Rhodes.

* Living Under Marshall Law w/ BPD for 02/27/2008 - Michael McDonald, the Oscars, Politics, Wrestling, and another installment of BPD's Special Message for the Ladies (Direct link - Right Click/Save As...)


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Hey, Joel Goodhart if you are out there Googling yourself one day, stop by and set the record straight why don't cha? We start off with Public Enemy acting like idiots. I think they are looking to set up a 3 Way Dance.
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