Ok, so I'm auditioning for a play this weekend and I need a good one-minute comedic monologue. Any ideas? The few that I've looked at online were ok, but I think I need something that's more physical. The play I'm auditioning for is "The Compleat Works of Wllm Shkspr (abridged)" and is a very fast, funny, physical show.
Holy shit! You're trying out for the Reduced Shakespeare Company? I LOVE the Reduced Shakespeare Company! ... The best monologue I can think of off the top of my head is Charlie Brown's "Lunchtime" monologue, which is pretty good but might not fit your time.
No self-respecting Boozer gets caught anywhere near that stuff. If you're gonna drink beer, drink a BEER. If you want wine, select a wine (hint: it usually comes in a larger bottle than 12 oz). If you want liquor--go the hard route.