Let me first say that I'm not an "ROH guy" so the fact that I will probably display some real ignorance shouldn't be unexpected. I'm fully aware that a "real fan" should know all the stuff I don't know, but I never said I was writing the definitive report here. Go to their site for the real scoop and real reactions from real fans. RIGHT HERE. (rohwrestling.com) Although...the "chanting idiots" contingent seemed a lot smaller tonight, thankfully. I REALLY don't need to let everyone else know that I think we're watching something awesome, or be told that by others.
ANYWAY. Comparing this card to the previous one (The W), you kinda get the feeling that maybe the reason they didn't announce the date of ROH's NEXT stop in St. Paul this time was because maybe they just ain't comin' back here. Knowing that there was a big card tomorrow in Chicago kinda made me wonder how much we'd really get tonight.
Attendance at the armory was...I'll say somewhere between 750 and 1000, probably closer to the lower number. Definitely not a sellout this time. Again, might have had something to do with the card and the people on it (or...not on it)
Doors opened at 7 for an 8PM start. Around 7:30 (aka "just before we came in") THREE GUYS wrestled THREE OTHER GUYS - three guys won. This was a dark match featuring the guys who made up the ring crew for the rest of the night.
Ring announcer MR. RING ANNOUNCER told us that our referees for the evening were JASON HARDING and senior official TODD SINCLAIR.
1. In a special SHIMMER attraction, the MINNESOTA HOME WRECKING CREW scored a hometown win over the DANGEROUS ANGELS when Lacey pinned Allison Danger in 9'36". Lacey & Rain were accompanied by the recently surgerized JIMMY JACOBS. Danger & Sara del Rey were accompanied by nobody.
2. In the only unannounced match, a "Do or Die Challenge" died quickly when JIMMY RAVE ran out to disrupt a match between MICHAEL ELGIN and RHETT TITUS at 1'44" (DQ? Thrown out?) - Titus ended up (I think) tapping out to the heel hook and getting helped off as Rave told us staying at home with a broken jaw just made him meaner - then told us he was going to take it out on Elgin. Elgin was game, so...
2A. JIMMY RAVE beat MICHAEL ELGIN in 2'50" by submission with the heel hook. The crowd really wanted Elgin to try the GORE, but it was Rave hitting the spear to shut us up.
3. In a "Special Challenge Match" - I guess it was special because it was the only singles match without a belt on the line - SHINGO defeated BJ WHITMER with what looked like an Olympic Slam from the Rack except Whitmer landed face down. Shingo is Kim's newest favourite wrestler - must be the mullet.
4. The ROH world tag team championships were on the line in a four team, three fall matchup. First fall was submissions only. Second fall was a scramble (tornado) match. Third fall was for the straps. First fall came at 6'32" when (I THINK IT WAS JAY) BRISCOE choked out MITCH FRANKLIN with what I will call a "guillotine/arm trap thingy," eliminating Franklin and PELLE PRIMEAU. I wasn't into Franklin's "idiot" gimmick. In fall two, the bodies piled up but at 10'21" (I think it was) Jay pinned GRAN AKUMA, eliminating his tag team partner HALLOWICKED as well. Hallowicked is so tall, by the way, he had to spend his time in the corner on one knee so as to not remind us how tall he is...which kinda failed. Finally, the champs MARK & JAY BRISCOE retained over JIGSAW & MIKE QUACKENBUSH when (I think it was) Jay pinned Quack following a top rope springboard into a Doomsday device. Hasn't Quack retired a few times? I remember a guy on r.s.p-w mailing me a BYWF tape in ... like 1993 or 1994 and wanting me to get excited about "M. Quackenbush" and all the people I've totally forgotten about. I wonder where that tape is. I never got around to watching it.
5. In an "Anything Goes Fight" noted in the programs with the amazing typo "Colt Cabana's Midest Farewell" (and they charge five bucks for those things!), sadly COLT CABANA & HOMICIDE took the loss to BRENT ALBRIGHT & ADAM PEARCE, accompanied by SHANE HAGADORN. Albright pinned Cabana (see ya) at 13'37" after a backdrop suplex.
INTERMISSION (about 22'00")
6. I think my favourite match of the evening was the Four Corner Survival Match pitting JACK EVANS against DELIRIOUS against ROCKY ROMERO against ERICK STEVENS. Delirious is still an entertainer. The match quickly devolved into three guys hating on Romero...so it should come as no surprise that Romero ended up stealing a pin, although it was a LITTLE surprising that Evans was the one the pin was stolen on. Match time was 15'28".
7. FIP World Heavyweight Champion RODERICK STRONG held out when CHRISTOPHER DANIELS failed to beat the twenty count at 23'35" (so that's a COR, folks). Daniels was accompanied by Allison Danger, who made a stellar choice of underwear. Daniels AGAIN failed to hit the BME, so he's 0 for 2 in St. Paul matches I've seen. This means something.
8. I was worried they were going to go way past 11, but I should have known better because TAKESHI MORISHIMA is no Bryan Danielson and AUSTIN ARIES is no Nigel McGuinness. Although Aries manage to hit the same sequence of moves that got him the duke against Joe (I only know this because ROHwrestling.com was good enough to list the entire sequence before the card - "the famous crucifix bomb, kick to the head, brainbuster and 450 that finished Joe's 21 month title reign") but it didn't keep Morishima down past 2. Morishima hit his "drop-'im-on-'is-head-plex" - you may know it as the BACK DROP - and pinned Aries at 15'05". So no hometown miracle for Aries tonight. Maybe tomorrow in his OTHER hometown.
I have all the hailing froms and weights, and I can tell you who reffed each match, but even I'M not that bored right now. I'm sure Chicago will be tremendous. If they never come back to St. Paul (and early scuttlebut indicates that IS the case), I'll be disappointed... but not sad.
Funny..considering it's made of butter...you'd think it would be in Wisconsin! Thank you, thank you! I'm here all night! Nothing is better than X-pac! It's all in the inflection... Scratch my back with a protractor!!