We're running a little late tonight, but that'll happen when you end up with FOUR HUNDRED AND FIFTY-FIVE listings. Yes, every single one of these items currently has a release date during the seven day period beginning Tuesday, April 24th and at the time I type this, all show available. (Count yourself lucky I didn't also include the 39 that didn't!)
Now I know how it is when things run this long - you end up skimming most of it. Hopefully I've broken things up in logical enough fashion that you'll be able to recognise the sections you have no interest in and skip accordingly. Those of you who slog through the whole Gode-damn* thing combing it over for smartass comments by me...all three of you...should probably be able to get a few yuks - hell, MORE than a few - I certainly have more chances.
*that's my new accent which I stole from Sophie Ellis Bextor - I know, you don't care
As always, hover over the titles and you SHOULD get Amazon's current price and availability - if it doesn't work, we'll blame them and not us. I have also included the requisite IMDb and tv.com links to the titles in question in case you would like to further research a particular item. All links open up in new windows so you can get back here when you're done, if you like.
I will cheerfully admit that I've seen...EASILY less than 5% of these things. That's why we have such a reliance on YOU and YOUR REPLY to flesh out the details that we may need to know about certain films or releases which are especially interesting to YOU! Know something about something because you saw it in the theatre, or on TV, or are familiar with the genre, or just like showing off? REPLY! PLEASE!
Those of you who don't want to register but have something to say publicly or privately can now email me feedback at my brand spankin' new email address: CRZ.DVD@gmail.com.
I think you might be pleased (but probably not as pleased as I am!) by my
PICK OF THE WEEK: Laker Girls (The W at Amazon) (CBS, 1990) OH. MY GOD. When I first saw this listing, I really didn't think it could possibly be the most egregious example of Sweeps programming in years, but don't let the cover fool you - this IS the real deal. Alexandra Paul, (whatever happened to) Tina Yothers and Paris Vaughn star in what can best be described as the "Spring Break Shark Attack" of 1990 CBS movies of the week. Also, it has Erin Gray in it as an authority figure! The plot is practically nonexistent, makes little if any sense, will have you dumbfounded in disbelief in its lack of realism and oh man, the ENDING, springing up out of nowhere because I'm guessing they really had no idea how to script a conclusion, will cause you to question your intelligence for devoting a little over an hour and a half of your life to such a piece of crap. I'm also PRETTY sure you don't see any actual Los Angeles Lakers in it either (although there are some "real" Laker Girls.) AND. I MUST SEE IT AGAIN AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. COME ON COWBOY, IT'S ONLY SIX DOLLAROOS, LET'S CLICK WHY NOT.
WKRP in Cincinnati: The Complete First Season (3 Discs) (CBS, 1978-9) Look, here's the deal. This set sucks. Sure, there's the obvious problem with cutting out allllllllll the music they couldn't clear (which is, like, practically all of it), but to make matters worse they end up having to drop actual dialogue, and NOW we're hearing that a lot of these episodes are of the "cut for syndication" variety (ie, up to four minutes - 20%! - removed!) Add all this up and I don't see any way you can come CLOSE to putting "The COMPLETE First Season" on the box. So...I'm gonna have to pass on this one - reluctantly, but I'd have been just as well off taping it off of Nick at Nite at this rate. One has to draw a line somewhere and let the big business know what's acceptible and what isn't. I'll pay full price for EVERY season of "Miami Vice" with a smile on my face, because they understand what a "complete" season is. The "Baywatch" folks, the folks behind this release....they can sit and spin. I'm not interested in getting boned. *I* BONE. End of rant...until the next time I start repeating myself...
Moral Orel, Vol. 1, The Unholy Edition (Adult Swim, 2005-6) Episodes 1-15 - I can't think of an Adult Swim release I've missed on the first day, but this one's not really my bag - I'm actually a little surprised it's seeing release, but on the other hand, what else COULD they have released..."Minoriteam?"
Kidnapped - The Complete Series (NBC, 2006) 13 episodes - I think five ended up airing with the rest appearing at nbc.com - FINALLY find out how it ended
Columbo - Mystery Movie Collection, 1989 Five movies from the ABC restart - four in the tv.com link, plus the first movie of the next season - not as great as the 1970s versions, obviously, but still mostly fun - strangely, Amazon is currently showing this as Region 2 for some reason
TRUE STORIES COLLECTION (TV MOVIES): Nadia (Yugoslavia/USA, made for TV, 1984) Romanian gymnast you may have heard of Face Value (The Marla Hanson Story - NBC, 1991) Model's face slashed Final Shot - The Hank Gathers Story (made for TV, 1992) Your never know when your next dunk might be your last After the Silence (Breaking Through - made for TV, 1996) JoBeth Williams, Kellie Martin - Deaf mute has abusive father Family Rescue (Country Justice - CBS, 1997) George C. Scott, Rachel Leigh Cook, Ally Sheedy - Rape victim protected by her grandfather
TELENOVELA OF THE WEEK: Mundo de Juguete (Televisa) 5 discs, almost 23 hours (probably not all 600 episodes, though)
JAPANESE TV OF THE WEEK: Baian the Assassin, Vol. 1-4 The entire Japanese TV series (says Tokyo Shock) follows an acupuncturist who uses his skills to cure - and kill
KOREAN TV OF THE WEEK: Over the Rainbow (오버더레인보우 - MBC, 2006) 16 hours/episodes, 6 discs - Learn more at MBC (content.mbc.co.kr)
UNIVERSAL SPECIAL EDITIONS: Parenthood: Special Edition What's so special about it? Only you will know - if you bought the previous edition and buy this one - also, if you ARE that kind of person, maybe you could just give ME all your money instead of Universal - I could put it to much better use Harry and the Hendersons (Special Edition) Again, because the world sure NEEDED a special edition of... "Harry and the Hendersons"
RENOIR OF THE WEEK: Jean Renoir Collection 7 films on 3 discs from Renoir - Whrilpool of Fate, Nana, Charleston Parade, The Little Match Girl, La Maresillaise, The Doctor's Horrible Experiment and The Elusive Corporal
CANNIBALISM MOVIES OF THE WEEK: The Last Supper (Saigo no bansan - Japan, 2005) This cover...it haunts me Diary of a Cannibal (Widescreen) (Cannibal, 2006) Dammit, I keep TELLING you to be CAREFUL who you talk to on the Internet! Satan's Cannibal Holocaust (2007) Say, now THERE'S a title that really grabs your attention
C. THOMAS HOWELL MOVIE OF THE WEEK: Hoboken Hollow (2005) Jason Connery, C. Thomas Howell, Robert Carradine
WILLIAM HUNG MOVIE OF THE WEEK: Where Is Mama's Boy? (Ngor ah Ma Fat Jai Won - China, 2004) William Hung
JEAN-CLAUDE VAN DAMME MOVIE OF THE WEEK: Until Death (direct to DVD, 2007)
BLUE UNDERGROUND (MANY ARE RERELEASES OF ANCHOR BAY TITLES?): The Black Cat (Gatto Nero - Italy, 1981) Patrick McGee communicates with the dead and controls his cat with his MIND - directed by Lucio Fulci The House By the Cemetery (Quella Villa Accanto al Cimitero - Italy, 1981) Also directed by Lucio Fulci Let Sleeping Corpses Lie (Non si Deve Profanare il Sonno dei Morti - Spain/Italy, 1974) Directed by Jorge Grau Macabre (Macabro - Italy, 1980) Directed by Lamberto Bava Punks & Hooligans Two-Fer: The Firm/Elephant & Made in Britain Trio of televised dramas from director Alan Clarke - "The Firm" is a BBC movie from 1988 and not the Tom Cruise film - Elephant (BBC Northern Ireland, 1989) was Clarke's last film - and Made in Britain (made for TV, UK, 1982) was Tim Roth's first starring role To Protect and Kill Two-Fer: La Scorta & How to Kill a Judge What do they have in common? They're both in this two pack! (Italy, 1993) and (Perch? si Uccide un Magistrato - Italy, 1994)
MAC FILMWORKS BRINGS THE CHEAP RERELEASES: Born to Win (1971) George Segal, Karen Black, Hector Elizondo and a young Robert DeNiro Beyond Obsession (Oltre la porta - Italy, 1982) Marcello Mastroianni, Eleonora Giorgi, Tom Berenger (wait, what?) Born to Win/Beyond Obsession License to Kill (CBS, 1984) Denzel Washington is buried in the cast listing License to Kill/The Formula above, with (USA/West Germany, 1980) Marlon Brando, George C. Scott, and "Also Starring" John Gielgud (in all of one scene) My Lucky Stars (Fuk Sing Go Jiu - Hong Kong, 1985) Sammo Hung, Jackie Chan
REEL INDIES: The Dogwalker (2002) Shorty (2003) Documentary of Walter "Shorty" Simms and his relationship with Hampden-Sydney college Trona (2004) Boone Style (2005) Mend (2007) Fellowship of the Dice (2007) Yes, it's about D&D - yes, it's a NERD ALERT - also, Aimee Graham (who?) is in it ("D&D" stands for "Dungeons & Dragons." Thank you.)
NOTABLE FURN FILM OF THE WEEK: Naked You Die (aka "School Girl Killer," - Nude...Si Muore - Italy, 1968) Antonio Margheriti directs the Mario Bava story of a killer stalking an all-girls school - first DVD release for what can surely only be described as a "lost classic!"
FURN FILMS OF THE WEEK: The Man and the Monster (El Hombre y el Monstruo - Mexico, 1959) Man sells his soul to become greatest pianist in the world - bad idea The Living Coffin (El Grito de la Muerte - Mexico, 1959) Cowboys encounter spookiness Blind Woman's Curse (aka "Black Cat's Revenge" - Kaidan Nobori Ryu - Japan, 1970) Tato (Daddy - Poland, 1995) Horror/Thriller Final Justice (Zui hou pau jue - Hong Kong, 1996) Tears of the Black Tiger (Fah Talai Jone - Thailand, 2000) Keep saying it's a cult hit...I don't believe you yet Coyote's Morning (Poranek Kojota - Poland, 2001) Comedy Elegy of a Voyage (Elegiya Dorogi - France/Russia/Netherlands, 2002) Sex of Magic (Mabeobui Seong - South Korea, 2002) The Ghost (Ryeong - South Korea, 2004) Horror Madeinusa (Spain/USA, 2005) Drama Challenge (Kampfansage: Der Letzte Sch?ler - Germany, 2005) German Fu The Wedding Party (2005) (Die Bluthochzeit - Germany/Belgium, 2005) Wo Hu: Operation Undercover (Ngor Fu - Hong Kong, 2006) "From the stars of Infernal Affairs"
The Films of Raul Ruiz Three Crowns of the Sailor (Les Trois Couronnes du Matelot - France, 1983) , The Hypothesis of the Stolen Painting (L'Hypothse du tableau vol - France, 1979) and The Suspended Vocation (La Vocation Suspendue - France, 1978) Facets
Don't Fool with Love includes three TV shorts based on the writings of Nobel laureate Gabriel Garcia Marquez: The Two Way Mirror (Mexico, 1990) , The Saturday Thief (Mexico, 1992) and Far Apart (Contigo en la Distancia - Mexico, 1991)
AND... THE REST OF THE MOVIES: Hired to Kill (1991) Fashion models (or are they?) break out a South American rebel leader The Hawk (UK, 1993) Helen Mirren - cheapo rerelease? Sensitive New Age Killer (Australia, 2000) Action/noir
Small Town Conspiracy (Florida City, 2003) Mystery - 1941: Florida man unravels Pearl Harbor plot Screen Door Jesus (2003) Austin production about race, faith and politics - trailer and website link at Indican (indicanpictures.com)
Separation Anxiety: Dead Body Man 2 (2005) I think this has been out a while - here's a review from 2006 (pollystaffle.com) Surviving the Rush (2005) Comedy One More Round (2005) Man takes up boxing to avoid mid-life crisis Slingshot (2005) David Arquette, Thora Birch, Julianna Margulies - I know, I can't believe we never saw it at the box office either!
.45 (2006) Speaking of "I can't believe," I can't believe a Milla Jovovich movie was made without my brother-in-law knowing about it! Idol (2006) Comedy Idol (2006) Same thing?
Tournament of Dreams (2007) Tony Todd, Debbie Allen, The Game, and...Carl Lewis? Caffeine (2007) Mena Suvari, Marsha Thomason, Katherine Heigl, Breckin Meyer - coffee house hijinx
Blood Mask: The Possession of Nicole Lameroux Stereotype Shoose the Music Or the Street - "...an American Latino is forced to deal with the harsh realities of living and surviving in the hood while trying to realize his dreams of becoming a hip-hop rap star"
WRESTLERS (MAYBE): Hardy Show: Complete First Season Nothing at the Big Vision site (bigvisionentertainment.com), but maybe... cobbled together from their earlier "shoot interview" releases? Maybe content from www.thehardyshow.com? Maybe something completely different? Who can say? Best of the Hardy Show Maybe...clips from the above release? Boy, I'm so confused about all this
READ ME A DVD: Adventures of Sherlock Holmes "Dramatized narrations" accompanied by "original illustrations" - I dunno, sounds like a book on tape to me
EUROPEAN SOFTCORE: The Sexual Story of O (Historia Sexual de O - Spain, 1984) A *sexual* story?? That's my favourite kind of story! Directed by Jesus Franco The Inconfessable Orgies of Emmanuelle (Las Orgas inconfesables de Emmanuelle - Spain, 1982) aka "Emmanuelle Exposed" aka "Emmanuelle Forever" - also directed by Jesus Franco under a pseudonym Schoolgirl Report, Vol. 1: What Parents Don't Think Is Possible (Schulmdchen-Report: Was Eltern nicht fr Mglich Halten - West Germany, 1970)
Originally posted by CRZ Those of you who slog through the whole Gode-damn* thing combing it over for smartass comments by me...all three of you...should probably be able to get a few yuks - hell, MORE than a few - I certainly have more chances.
I bet there are five or six of us!
Originally posted by CRZDVDs FOR ARTSY FARTSY SMARTY-PANTS FILM NERDS:
You mean for Llakor?
Did you actually watch Laker Girls? Damn.
This really is an impressive task that you undertake each week. I cannot fathom how much effort must go into this. I feel like if you take the time to do this, I can at least read it, even if I haven't seen any of the DVDs being released!
CRZ had to edit my profile and close my table for me. I am a bad man.
Originally posted by CRZ Those of you who slog through the whole Gode-damn* thing combing it over for smartass comments by me...all three of you...should probably be able to get a few yuks - hell, MORE than a few - I certainly have more chances.
I bet there are five or six of us!
I guess I make two.
Originally posted by pieman
Originally posted by CRZDVDs FOR ARTSY FARTSY SMARTY-PANTS FILM NERDS:
You mean for Llakor?
HEY!
Actually I do know who Louis Malle is, but I haven't actually seen any of his documentaries.
Originally posted by piemanDid you actually watch Laker Girls? Damn.
This really is an impressive task that you undertake each week. I cannot fathom how much effort must go into this. I feel like if you take the time to do this, I can at least read it, even if I haven't seen any of the DVDs being released!
Yeah, this is a pretty dry week even for me. Other than "The Queen" there is not much on the list that I have seen and wanted to talk about, and most of the ones that I have seen and not wanted to talk about are the rerealease collections. Things like Another 48 hours.
Ya know, I really think it's time to look at what I'm doing with my life when I sit here and seriously consider buying Season One of The Drew Carey Show.
Since they took it off syndication (on TBS and the local FOX and NBC affiliates), I really kinda miss it.
My full WrestleMania thouhts and more!: Experience It
Thank you very much for the heads up on the WKRP set. I wouldn't have known and would have been mighty pissed had I bought this set. And thanks for doing this every week too. I slog thru it all for the jokes and to see the *wide* variety of releases coming out.
It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them. P. G. Wodehouse (1881 - 1975), The Man Upstairs (1914)
It isn't often that people who are the subject of DVDs directly reference a thread - in fact, this is probably the first time it's happened - so I wanted to thank Winter from http://starbuckseverywhere.net/ for the link and acknowledgment. I still think he ain't right, though. (By the way, I saw "Starbucking" out a week early at my local Best Buy, in case anyone cared.)
The "Columbo" set no longer is listed as a Region 2 release. Corporate sabotage???
Here come your late updates!
CAME OUT ALREADY: Booty Vol 1 (The W at Amazon) Release date adjusted to 4/17
Fabric of Time Looks to be about the Shroud of Turin - Questions posed by the cover: "Have scientists discovered a Quantum Hologram that gives us a message of Hope?" and "Are the Secrets of the Universe Hidden in an Ancient Cloth?" Answers: No, and no - and what's with that Germanic capitalisation of all them words? Learn more at (I didn't make this up) Grizzly Adams Productions (grizzlyadams.tv) Angels in Disguise FIVE discs claim to help you Discover what Angles are doing in your life...and why Biblical Collector's Series Banded But this set takes the cake with an astonishing TWELVE discs-The Great Escape
10 Items or Less is a great example of a movie made possible by the casting. It's pretty easy to imagine how the movie could have been another inert lump of precious indie hipster shaggy-doggism (and, to be honest, many people will still find it such), but Morgan Freeman hoists the entire film up on his shoulders and lopes away with it. Freeman's charisma -- his specific brand of easygoing charm -- makes the meandering film work, and it's hard to think of another actor who could pull it off convincingly.
Steven Wright's When the Leaves Blow Away is his first concert film in many many years. It's exactly what you'd expect, if you're at all familiar with him -- funny stuff, but I found his nasal drone a little difficult to listen to, uninterrupted, for so long. The concert film is around 45 minutes. There's also a short film he did called "One Soldier," which is sort of like if Wright was in The Seventh Seal and it was set during the Civil War.
Tears of the Black Tiger -- well, if Sergio Leone and Douglas Sirk got married and honeymooned in Thailand, this is the film the would make while they were there. It's an action-western-romance-melodrama in which garish violence plays out in front of Easter Egg-colored sets, like Sam Peckinpah on a Pixie Stix bender. There aren't characters so much as there are symbols -- the good guys gaze at their beloved ones piercingly and soulfully, while the bad guys sneer and cackle wickedly. Worth watching.
That's all I saw.
--K
(edited by Karlos the Jackal on 24.4.07 0049) Last 5 movies seen: Tears of the Black Tiger ***1/2 - Steven Wright: When the Leaves Blow Away *** - 10 Items or Less *** - Hedwig and the Angry Inch ***1/2 - Smokin' Aces **1/2
Thread ahead: Movies! 4/27/07 Next thread: American Idol 4.17.07 Top 7 "Country Night" Previous thread: Califor-nah-nah...super cool to the homeless (4/18/07)
Sometimes faith gets rewarded. Since Episode One, the Starks have had their heads handed to them both literally and figuratively. They have become the Cleveland of the Westeros. A few minor victories here, but ultimately going down in flames at the end.
Thread rated: 6.98
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I have also included the requisite IMDb and tv.com links to the titles in question in case you would like to further research a particular item. All links open up in new windows so you can get back here when you're done, if you like.
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