The following 264 new listings on Amazon run the gamut from cross dressers to girls who I understand are going wild. A few of these new releases were actually playing in a theatre near you only four months ago - and one, only three months ago! Of course, if you didn't see it then, what makes anyone think you're going to buy it now? But that's not my problem. No, MY problem is to make these appear interesting or appealing enough that you will part with your hard earned cash by utilizing the links provided, so as to provide my brother with enough nickels to make him stop laughing at me for devoting so much time to writing these things up. (I'm just foolin' there - obviously I'll do these until whatever sick compulsion I'm suffering from wears out.)
Most movies have a link to their entry in the Internet Movie Database (signified by the "IMDb" icon) or at tv.com (tv.com icon) - click away to learn more if anything catches your fancy - they'll open up new windows and you can come right back here after you close it - or maybe you'll get so distracted you'll totally forget to come back! It's MADNESS!
Please! Share with us your opinions on any of these titles! Especially, if you've actually seen them! God knows I haven't seen ANY of these, which makes it a whole lot more difficult to make stuff up about them!
Now some of you have been following these for a while - you may have even purchased something after seeing it was available. I'm hoping that YOU will share your experiences with the rest of the group! Did you like your purchase? Or was your remorse so great that you wanted to commit violence? On me? DISH
As always, we begin the big list by me randomly grabbing whatever catches my fancy and proclaiming it my
PICK OF THE WEEK: Dragon's Lair (The W at Amazon) (Blu-ray) (1983) Dragon's Lair (HD DVD) As part of the continuing effort to ensure that the ex-first laserdisc based video game ever ends up released in every format available, we are now treated to versions on the two latest formats - I gave my brother the DVD version (which now seems out of print, sadly) and I guarantee you you can only try to play that for about ten minutes before you give up and just play the entire movie without any interactivity needed - as far as I know, it's still the case that nobody hear actually owns one of these players, so I'm kinda wasting my pick on something nobody will buy...but that's how I roll
The Holiday Cameron Diaz, Kate Winslet trade places - meet Jude Law, Jack Black really, you don't remember this? It made, like, bazillions back in December The Holiday (2006) (Blu-ray)
Harsh Times (2006) Christian Bale, Armando Cantina, Freddy Rodrguez, Eva Longoria out last November, bombed, gone by December
EIGHTY YEAR OLD MOVIES OF THE WEEK: Eddie Cantor: Special Delivery (1927) Fatty Arbuckle directs the silent film - also includes several Cantor shorts based on his vaudeville routines Kid Boots (1926) The other Eddie Cantor silent feature also stars Clara Bow - similar slate of extras here Romance of the Western Chamber (Xixiang Ji - Hong Kong/China, 1927) Based on a centuries old Chinese play - landmark silent film
FURN FILMS: Muriel (aka "Muriel, or the Time of Return" - Muriel, ou Le temps d'un Retour - France/Italy, 1963) Directed by Alain Resnais Hellbenders (I Crudeli - Italy/Spain 1967 Spaghetti Western stars Joseph Cotten War & Peace (Voyna i Mir - USSR, 1968) 3 disc set of the epic "best foreign film of 1968" The Policeman (Ha-Shoter Azulai - Israel, 1970) The Fox in the Chicken Coop (Ha-Shu'al B'Lool Hatarnagalot - Israel, 1978) La Belle Captive (France, 1983) Probably goes without saying that this is an "erotic thriller" Malena Es un Nombre de Tango (Spain/France/Germany, 1996) The Man Who Sued God (Australia, 2001) Billy Connolly takes to the courts when his insurance claim is denied due to "acts of God" El Hotel (El Descanso) (Argentina, 2002) Dictadura (El Lugar Donde Estuvo el Paraso - Spain/Argentina/Germany/Brazil, 2002) American Cousins (UK, 2003) "Dark Mafia comedy" - Gerald Lepkowski, Shirley Henderson, Danny Nucci, Vincent Pastore Mala Uva (Spanish) (Spain, 2004) English subtitles are available Machuca (Chile/Spain/UK/France, 2004) Two boys witness the world around them (late 1970s Chile) The Perfect Crime (El Crimen Ferpecto - Spain/Italy, 2004) Dark comedy, as you might expect Pope John Paul II (Italy/USA/Poland, CBS, 2005) Jon Voight gets a thumbs up from Benedict XVI Yours Emotionally! (Unrated) (India/UK, 2005) Gays in India Herona (Spain, 2005) Bloody Reunion (Seuseung-ui Eunhye - South Korea, 2006) Horror
IS IT GAY FILIPINO WEEK?: Paper Dolls (Bubot Niyar - USA/Israel/Switzerland, 2006) Filipino transvestites, shunned by their home country, emigrate to Israel to care for elderly, religious Jewish men - proving that the best documentaries are the ones people wouldn't believe if you made them up Bathhouse (Unrated) (Phillipines, 2005) Gay Filipinos - wait, didn't we just have that one? No, okay, that one was about transgendered.... Well, okay, so in this one the gay guy STAYS in the Phillipines and goes to a bathhouse Circles (Unrated) (Ws Sub) (Pitong Dalagita - Phillipines, 2006) Gay Filipinos-- no, REALLY. I guess they're all coming out at the same time - ahahaha get it "coming out" ahahahaha sorry
MOVIES FOR PEOPLE ON A BUDGET, FROM MAC FILMWORKS: Charge of the Model T's (1979) Comedy - Louis Nye - I'm guessing they DIDN'T spring for a widescreen transfer The Switch (aka The Con Artists - Bluff Storia di Truffe e di Imbroglioni - Italy, 1976) Crime caper - Anthony Quinn Charge of the Model T's/The Switch Horrors of the Red Planet (aka The Wizards of Mars, 1965) - contrary to Amazon's listing, does NOT star David Carridine - does, however, star (the head of) his father John Carradine in a sci-fi retelling of "The Wizard of Oz" (I JUST figured that out - it's easier when it's not called "Horrors of the Red Planet," which sounds NOTHING like "The Wizard of Oz" - must have been lawsuit fears or something - let's move on) Inside Man (Slagskmpen - Sweden/UK, 1974) Thriller - Dennis Hopper Code Name:Wild Geese (Geheimcode: Wildgnse - Italy/Germany, 1986) Ernest Borgnine, Lee van Cleef Inside Man/Code Name:Wild Geese Enforcer from Death Row (aka The Ninja Enforcer - Phillipines, 1978) Gangland (2000) Ice-T Enforcer/Gangland
MORE DIRECT TO DVD: National Lampoon's Spring Break (2006) (Unrated) Not even in the IMDb?? I don't know who Nikki Ziering is but her name's on the cover - that's probably her on the cover, too - this DVD is for people who buy DVDs with women and a glass of beer on the cover - me, I think it needs more shark attacks The Pleasure Drivers (2005) In Pulp Fiction-esque fashion, three stories become one - Angus MacFayden, Lauren Holly, Lacey Chabert, Angelo Spizzirri, Billy Zane, Meat Loaf, Jason Mewes, Rachel Dratch, and probably you're in this movie too - directed by Quentin Tarantino('s cinematographer Andrzej Sekula) Lovewrecked (2006) Amanda Bynes heads the MOST ECLECTIC CAST LIST OF THE WEEK Black Love "A film about the secrets and confessions of what goes on in a typical African American relationship." C'mon, you and I both know what the REAL black love (googlx.com) is... Charm City Three friends from Baltimore Do You Believe in Miracles Not to be confused with the 1980 US hockey team story - Hanoch Teller introduces true stories of divine providence (again, not including the 1980 US hockey story) KYE: Kill Your Enemy Three men spend their last day of freedom working on revenge killings - I guess this is like the opposite of that last movie Repentance With "urban street fighting" AND "martial arts" they manage to piss off two demographics at the same time - Maverick trailer (maverickentertainment.cc) Skin Deep (2007) Mailon Rivera, Steve White, Debra Wilson - Thriller - Are you serious Sublime (Unrated Edition) Wow - I recognise MAYBE one name on this cast list Sublime (R-Rated Edition) Must be another direct-to-DVD horror release! Thanks, Warner!!
MORE EXPENSIVE VERSIONS OF THINGS YOU ALREADY BOUGHT: Hoosiers (Blu-ray) (1986)
KEEP ALL THE CRAP IN ONE PLACE - COLLECTIONS: The Ed Wood Collection - A Salute to Incompetence Probably the cheapest way to get instant Wood - err, an instant Wood COLLECTION. Glen or Glenda? (1953) , Jail Bait (1954) , Bride of the Monster (1955) , The Violent Years (1956) , Night of the Ghouls (1959) , Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959) , and "The Ed Wood Story" (including Johnny Depp!) The Gene Autry 100th Anniversary Collection Nine movies - Man of the Frontier (aka "Red River Valley", 1936) , Ride Ranger Ride (1936) , The Old Corral (1936) , Round-up Time in Texas (1937) , Yodelin' Kid from Pine Ridge (1937) , Boots and Saddles (1937) , Man from Music Mountain (1938) , Loaded Pistols (1948) , Riders of the Whistling Pines (1949) AND a 12-part serial (The Phantom Empire - 1935) Kung Fu Theater Collection: 10 Movie Set 1 (5pc) Cover says the ten are Ninja Thunderbolt (Hong Kong, 1985) , Invincible Hero (aka Mean Streets of Kung Fu - Jue Bu Di Tou - Hong Kong, 1973) , Attack of the Venoms (?), Men on the Hour (aka Black Hercules vs. Yellow Tiger - Taiwan, 1975?) ?, Land of the Brave (could be one of two ), Great General (Taiwan, 1977) , Chinese Dragon (Hong Kong, 1973) , Everlasting Duel (?), Chinese Hercules (Ma Tou Da Jue Dou - Hong Kong, 1973) and Mantis Fists & Tiger Claws of Shaolin (Xie Hai Tang Lang Chou - Hong Kong, 1997) Rarescope Collection 1 (4pc) (Ws Sub) The Lost Swordship (Yu jian piao xiang - Taiwan, 1977) , Showdown At The Cotton Mill (Hu Hui Chien Xue Zhan Xi Dan Si - Taiwan/Hong Kong, 1978) , The Face Behind The Mask (Hong Kong?, 1974) , Ninjas And Dragons (?)
OTHER MOVIES WHICH UNDOUBTEDLY HAVE PASSED INTO THE PUBLIC DOMAIN: Hopalong Cassidy Rarities 7 movies on 2 discs - William Boyd, Gabby Hayes - The Eagle's Brood (1935) , In Old Mexico (1938) , Sunset Trail (1939) , Law of the Pampas (1939) , Hidden Gold (1940) , Border Patrol (1943) , Texas Masquerade (1944) - doubtful that they're all that rare
AND THE REST: I Will Fight No More Forever (ABC, 1975) Drama based on the story of Chief Joseph and the Nez Perce Bridge to Terabithia (PBS, Canada, 1985) Not to be confused with the Disney release ...Almost (1990) Romantic Comedy - Rosanna Arquette Ghoul School: Super Bloody Splatter University (1990) Hey, 1990 isn't part of the eighties! That Little Monster (1994) Horror/art Miracle of the Spring (aka "The Patron Saint of Liars - made for TV, 1998) Dana Delany in the adaptation of the Ann Patchett novel - in fact, the same company released this in 2005 with the correct title, so don't get confused - I sure am Ambicion Sin Limites (Las Razones de Mis Amigos - Spain, 2000) Mendy (2003) Hassidic Jew from Brooklyn moves to Manhattan Amnesia (miniseries, UK, 2004) I had a great line about this show - but I forgot it Matando Cabos (Killing Cabos - Mexico, 2004) Features what was then the most expensive action scene ever in Mexican filmmaking - also, luchador characters, including a mini! Critical Assignment (UK/South Africa, 2004) Michael Power is, like, the Jack Bauer of Africa - except he's a journalist. What? Journalism can be exciting! Oranges: Revenge of the Eggplant (2004) Animated fruit = comedy Horror Business (2005) Documentary interviews many folks in the indie horror production business over three years A Little Trip to Heaven (Iceland/USA, 2005) I agree - put Forest Whitaker and Julia Stiles on the box no matter HOW deep into the credits they actually appear Blood Trails (Germany, 2006) Horror Hell to Pay (2006) Western - Lee Majors is still alive! Hubert Selby Jr: It/ll Be Better Tomorrow (2006) Biodocumentary on the author's life featuring a whole lotta celebrities Tales of Terror From Tokyo 3 Pt.2 (Japan, 2006) Ichiro Nakayama and Hirokatsu Kihara present another anthology of "true" tales told from around Japan Favela Rising (HBO, 2006) Documentary of Afro-reggae "revolution" in Brazil Shortbus (Unrated) (2006) Sex drama set in New York Hello Again Everybody: The Harry Caray Story (PBS, 2006)
SPORTS & LEISURE
WWE: WWE - Royal Rumble, The Complete Anthology 20 discs - never leave your house again! Possibly the MOST EXPENSIVE ITEM OF THE WEEK (but still, it comes out to only $9 or $10 a PPV)
THIS IS TNA: TNA Wrestling: Best of Tag Teams 1 - "Featuring the top tandems in TNA, including The Latin American Exchange, Americas Most Wanted, Team 3D, The Naturals, Voodoo Kin Mafia and AJ Styles & Christopher Daniels" - but no Johnsons or Flying Elvises!?
HOOPS: NBA - Indiana Pacers Greatest Games Collection, Vol. 1 Four games on four discs - 6/1/94 Conference Finals game 5 (Knicks), 5/7/95 Conference semis game 1 (Knicks), 5/28/98 Conference finals game 4 (Bulls), 6/2/00 Conference finals game 6 (Knicks) - gee, I wonder who wins those games
MORE CULTURAL SHIT: Mozart: Trios & Divertimento Hey... you know, this is probably old news to you but... for a violinist, that Anne-Sophie Mutter is kinda foxy Olga Neuwirth - Lost Highway Did she really collaborate with David Lynch to compose an opera? (Would Wikipedia lie to me?)
MUSIC FOR FILMS - AND A FILM, TOO: Stage & Screen - Frank Sinatra 20 songs plus junkie turn in Otto Preminger directed "The Man With the Golden Arm" (1955) - what a strange pairing Stage & Screen - Dean Martin 20 songs (some with Jerry!) plus "At War with the Army" (with Jerry!) (1950)
AS TIMELY AS A WWE SKIT: Playboy / Girls of Myspace Oh, so THEY'RE the ones who keep spamming me with friend requests
TOTALLY GAY SMUT: Felix Drobek-Truesdale's Real Men "Behind the scenes of photo shoots featuring sexy masculine men" - that's the best KIND of man!
NOT SMUT, BUT TANGENTIAL: Famous Street Heat Vol. 2 Famous Flava Entertainment presents another magazine highlighted by Lil Kim "keeping it real and raw" - which is pretty much the only way we'd expect her
DANCING (WITH TEARS IN MY EYES): For Dancers: Alexander Technique Who is "Alexander Technique" anyway? (I think I already made this joke last time I saw one of these - but I like it, so you get to read it again)
BETTER YOURSELF: Living Artfully With Sandra Magsamen (PBS, 2006) "Unleash your innate creativity to experience the joy of self-expression" - presumably that means "NOT by writing long posts about upcoming DVDs" but I still am feeling some self-expression and joy and shit
GOD'S PROBABLY TRYING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING ELSE: 9-11 Contemporary Tragedy Some guy in Madera, CA wrote a song about GOD and 9/11! Why won't you listen? Won't you please buy the DVD? DON'T MISS EVERY PAGE OF THEIR WEBSITE (duelingstudios.com) (WARNING: noisy)
MAKING MONEY OFF THE DEAD - OR AT LEAST TRYING: Diana: A Spiritual Legacy or: "A Quest for another ten bucks from Diana fanatics" Spirit of John Lennon "A Haunting Tribue" - I think they should have said "Ghoulish" Heroes of Wrestling Given that it's the same distributor, I am going to have to assume it's DEAD heroes of wrestling (although if it turns out to be the PPV of the same name, that'd be hilarious)
Heavily edited for broadcast (ie the names have been changed and all the kissy face smileys have been removed)
kimz (12:39:03): Did you have a Cover of the Week this week and I just missed it kimz (12:39:05): 'cause I can't find it CRZ (12:39:28): I could have missed it CRZ (12:39:45): I know one of those anime ones made me do a double take but I can't remember if I commented as such kimz (12:40:09): Haha you said "this is the kind of cover that makes people think certain things about anime fans" or something CRZ (12:40:15): Ah yes CRZ (12:40:16): so gay kimz (12:40:20): haha CRZ (12:40:45): Fairy indeed CRZ (12:41:15): No, it appears I didn't pick one CRZ (12:41:36): I also forgot to do a Top 12 so I'm already planning a followup post for tonight CRZ (12:41:43): Also because nobody's replied :-( kimz (12:46:04): I replied! CRZ (12:46:12): Aw how nice of you CRZ (12:46:22): I love pity replies ;-) kimz (12:46:25): Aww kimz (12:46:30): I didn't do it for that kimz (12:46:35): I genuinely need the COVER OF THE WEEK CRZ (12:47:42): Thermal Imaging Fundamentals, Infrared, IR Camera Series 1 kimz (12:48:01): This I gotta see! CRZ (12:48:31): It would have been better if someone had been in the house CRZ (12:48:33): Or if there was a ghost kimz (12:48:34): Ooooh totally kimz (12:48:57): Or it was a LADY and you could thermally image through her clothing CRZ (12:49:10): All the Mexico films had no covers this week so I didn't really get any good juju kimz (12:49:17): aw
Originally posted by piemanI absolutely loved Cool McCool! I wonder if my kids would find it as amusing as I did when I was a lad?
I wonder more if even YOU'D find it as amusing. That was, like, almost 40 years ago!
Here are 22 more releases (allegedly) available TOMORROW!
MORE CHEESY MOVIES: Miracle in the Woods (The W at Amazon) (made for TV, 1997) Meredith Baxter, Della Reese, Patricia Heaton, Anna Chlumsky Winter Stallion (The Christmas Stallion - made for TV, UK, 1992) Daniel J. Travanti Bear With Me (Canada, 2000) Kaitlyn Burke, Michael Ontkean, Helen Shaver, Alan Thicke, and there's probably a bear
Nothing showing unavailable or rescheduled as of the moment I type this.
And because I forgot, here are twice as many of Amazon's top preorders. The WWE must be making a fortune on Rumble anthologies if their placement in this list is any indication. HEY! Check out the Nuge at #21! GO NUGE! KILL IT AND GRILL IT! (For the previously made jokes about these releases...go back to post #1)
Originally posted by CRZBosom Buddies - The First Season - "See? It's all perfectly normal." (1980-1) Peter Scolari, Tom Hanks, and of course the late great Wendie Jo Sperber - 19 epsiodes, 3 discs - like me, you're dying to know if they paid Billy Joel to get the opening theme included, I know you are
I purchased this (through The W, of course) and unfortunately it's not "My Life" but the cheesy song they used over the closing credits... but with lyrics (Wikipedia tells us that it's sung by Stephanie Mills.)
Regardless, it's friggin' Bosom Buddies and it's great!
Hello, Modesto! We've hit your area code in releases this week, arriving at 209 after we tally up a rather light run of 155 DVDs, 47 Blu-rays and seven downloads. LET'S GO PICK OF THE WEEK There can only be one... MST3K Vs. Gamera: