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The W - Movies & TV - HALLOWEEN SCREAMS 2006
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Cerebus
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Since: 17.11.02

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#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 0.97
(Need I say there might be spoilers in here for some of these?)
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I did this last year as well, but a much shorter version. Here's a link (The W)

Welcome to the second annual Halloween Screams!

Anyway, as a treat to all of you. Here's a list of 31 of the best horror films you've probably never seen, one for each day of the month. I hope you enjoy them.

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THE BLIND DEAD COLLECTION (The W at Amazon)- I've probably mentioned these before, but they're so damn fun to watch that I'm doing it again. These movies are fucking awesome! Templar knights... not the cheesy DaVinci Code version but the 13th century take-no-prisoners, likes to kill women Templar knights return from the dead to avenge their own death on a small village. Through four movies they go on a spectacular, bloody rampage. These aren't your ordinary zombies either, with flesh still on the bodies or the like, hell no! These Templar knight zombies are dusty and skeletal, as they should be... except that they also have undead horses, but it's better not to ask too many questions unless you're one of those type of people that feels the need to pick apart a movie till you end up not wanting to watch it. Anyways, If you don't want to pay the $100 for the boxed set, Blue Underground is releasing them all separately, so at least see the first two and the last one, you won't regret it.

STREET TRASH - Are you one of those sickos who like to watch the 'Melting Man' scene from ROBOCOP over and over again? Well, it's your lucky day because THIS is the movie for you! We got melting hobos thanks to drinking toxic liquor at $1.00 a bottle. This movie is quite offensive, so buyer beware.

HARDWARE - Out of circulation since 2003, this Aussie classic from Richard Stanley is an odd mix of MAD MAX and THE TERMINATOR. Beautifully filmed scenery and surprise appearances by Iggy Pop, Lemmy and Carl McCoy of Fields Of The Nephilim. The soundtrack was also quite awesome featuring Ministry, Public Image Limited, and Simon Boswell's synth score is hard not to love.

ANTHROPOPHAGOUS - This movie was released here way back in 1981 but it was badly edited. It has recently been released on DVD in it's entirety, with it's gruesomeness intact. You gotta love a film that features a baby eating cannibal!

THE KEEP - Writer F Paul Wilson hates this film, and as a fan of both the original book and the movie, I don't see why. The movie takes the main story points and condenses them into a tighter form that is easy for people to follow. I first caught this on HBO years ago after watching BILL COSBY: HIMSELF and AMITYVILLE 3D which was a ripoff only because HBO didn't actually show it in 3D and I had my glasses from ABC showing THE CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON in 3D just a few days before this came on. If you can get your hands on it, the soundtrack by Tangerine Dream is, at least for me, the best thing they ever recorded. The movie isn't available on DVD, but is on video and a recent comic adaptation which is pretty good as well.

THE UNNAMEABLE - Why isn't THIS on DVD yet either? For the past few years, there's been a strong lack of good monster movies. Every horror movie that comes has humans as the creature now a days. What we need is a good, old fashioned Lovecraft monster/haunted house flick where you need the necronomicon to banish the evilness from our sight.

THE LAST BROADCAST - Did you know that THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT was a ripoff of another movie? Well, yes it was. This film, made a full year and a half before BLAIR WITCH came into our collective minds, was this little film made for a whopping $900.00 ...yeah, nine hundred dollars, that's not a typo. Also, LAST BROADCAST is an all around better film as well, with a much more satisfying ending that comes so far from out of left field that anyone wouldn't see it coming. This was also the first film to be shot and edited digitally, in it's entirety; just digital cameras and a computer.

THE BRAIN - Why the fuck hasn't this film been released on DVD is beyond my comprehension. It's about a giant Brain from outer space that is trying to take over the world by brain washing people who watch a TV show called (ironically!) Independent Thinking. Yes, it sounds stupid, but trust me, this movie is up there with Rocky Horror and Cannibal The Musical on the bad movies scale.

NIGHT OF THE LEPUS - Oh my! This film from 1972, is pretty bad even by my tastes, but how can you not want to see a film that has giant killer rabbits. It would be unAmerican of you to not want to see this! Joking aside, this movie features Janet Leigh and a snazzy turtleneck wearing DeForrest Kelly who probably needed that paycheck since this was before STAR TREK made it's big revival. ...did I mention the giant killer bunnies?

FROGS! - Oh my! You can make yourself an excellent double feature by watching this along with NIGHT OF THE LEPUS. You can call it 'Fucked Up Plot Idea' night, or 'Great Actors Getting Fucked Over By Their Agents' night, or just a good old 'Let's Get Fucked Up And Watch Bad Horror Movies' night. If you thought Janet Leigh was slumming in Lepus, Ray Milland must surely needed some booze money to be in this stinker from 1972. Holy shit, LEPUS and FROGS were both made in the same year... how fucked up is THAT!

MANIAC - For a good decade, this was the 'Holy Grail' of slasher films. The original video version was yanked from shelves and the director and star of the film were in a huge fight over money that kept it from being re released. Thankfully, Anchor Bay was able to secure the rights to it and put it out a nice and clean, uncut, wide screen DVD version that left fans happy the world over. This sick slasher effort from 1980 gave us some of special effect artist Tom Savini his best work.

COMBAT SHOCK - Sure, this isn't really a 'horror' film, but it's pretty damn gross. Rather shocking and depressing film from Troma about a day in the life of a Vietnam vet. This movie has everything you'd expect from the company that gave us TOXIC AVENGER but it's got one thing more going for it... it's GOOD. The commentary track with the director and Jorg Buttgereit (Director of the next film down!) makes the film well worth watching a second time.

NIGHTMARE - I'm not sure where the 'pg' rating is coming from, because the movie I remember this as being started out with a great scene of a kid killing his mothers boyfriend during sex with an axe, cutting off his head.

WAXWORK - Pretty decent 'reworking' of Universal's HOUSE OF FRANKENSTEIN using a wax museum as the reason to have all these monsters in the same place. You got your Dracula and Wolf man and some Zombies, but they also throw in Jack the Ripper, the Marquis DeSade, and Aliens! The DVD release comes with the slightly less satisfying WAXWORK 2 featuring Bruce Campbell and David Carradine.

THE DEADLY SPAWN - Released theatrically as RETURN OF THE ALIENS DEADLY SPAWN, this gruesome film was given that title in hopes that idiots would go and see it thinking it was a sequel to ALIEN. On the one hand, I should probably tell you that it's NOT a sequel to ALIEN, on the other hand, please don't let this stop you from seeing this gross little film produced by artist Tim Hildebrandt. Even though the acting it rather wooden, the effects are surprising good for this no-budget shocker.

VIDEO DEAD - I'm sure this wasn't what the makers of the movie were thinking, but this was a good social commentary allegory about how TV is helping to destroy our society. ...OK, that out of the way, for a low budget horror film, the zombies in this were pretty damn good looking. My guess was that they didn't pay the actors anything and blew the budget on special effects.

SCALPS - This is your basic eighties horror film with one exception. Back when it was first released, most every country on Earth banned it... all because of one throat slicing scene that still today, is rather nasty.

THE BIRD WITH THE CRYSTAL PLUMAGE - There's an interesting story about this film. The producer, Artur Brauner, absolutely hated the film. He thought it was going to be the biggest flop he'd ever been connected to and that it would ruin his career as a producer. He thought Dario Argento was a horrible director and tried to get him fired after seeing the directors first days work on the film. All through filming, he kept trying to get Argento fired all the way through to the first test screening of the film where it got zero reaction from the audience. He was ready to actually beat the shit out of the young director for wasting his money and ruining him... until the producers assistant admitted that she thought the movie was the most disturbing film she'd ever seen. (Keep in mind that this was back in 1970.) This film went on to be Italy's highest grossing film of the year and started Dario Argento on a long and exciting career in spoking audiences around the globe with his demented and beautiful movies.

SPLATTER UNIVERSITY - I'm still not sure if this was a comedy or a horror film. The killings are pretty graphic, but when you have one character killed and not one other character even gives a damn about her, not even her boyfriend who seems to completely forget about her... well, that's either funny as hell or really bad writing.

IN A GLASS CAGE - This movie is NOT for everyone. In fact, even though I am against censorship, I'd say this is one of the few films that I would not suggest to most people, but after saying this, I should also say that people NEED to see this. Think of it as a Nazi-sploitation flick crossed with HAPPINESS with no comedic elements added in to lighten the subject matter. Throw in children getting diddled and murdered and you get one fucking disturbing film on your hands.

ADDIO ZIO TOM (GOODBYE UNCLE TOM) - This film is another one of those disturbing films that is not for everyone yet you really should see it anyway. From the title, you can probably guess that it deals with 'race relations', but not in any way you could imagine. The plot of the film is that two documentary film makers have gone back in time to find out about slavery. With scenes depicting (graphical) slaves on boats having balls of wheat shoved in their asses so they don't defecate during the trip over here to underage slaves forced to have sex with plantation owners, to a full scale black uprising with Nat Turner... this film has actually gotten the film makers banned from going to some countries and getting death threats.

ENTRAILS OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN - Not all Asian horror film are about ghosts trying to get revenge... in some of them, the dead come back to life as a HERMAPHRODITE MONSTER to get the revenge they so desperately deserve. In this film, two separate women get gang raped and killed but one of them is resurrected by an overdose of an exotic drug and is transformed into a grotesque beast with a huge penis. Ahh, good times, good times.

GOD TOLD ME TO - This movie is creepy. It's about seemingly random acts of extreme violence except all the people doing the killing are claiming that God told them to do it. In one rather disturbing scene, a man describes how killing his wife and children and has no remorse what so ever because God told him to and that killing them has made him a better person. Seriously, that scene made my skin crawl.

GRAVEYARD SHIFT - For it's DVD release, this film has been retitled CENTRAL PARK DRIFTER: GRAVEYARD SHIFT; I'm not really sure why because it came out a good three years before the Stephen King film and both movies are as different as night and day. This one is about a vampire who works as a cab driver and he hates his life. He's preparing to do himself in but instead he falls in love with a woman who is dying. He turns her into a vampire and they hope to live happily ever after except she's already married and now her husband wants to kill the both of them. Yeah, this isn't your normal vampire flick, is it? This movie also has a great 'New Wave' feel to it thanks to the lighting and acting.

THE MAGIC SWORD - OH MY GAWD! MGM finally gave this excellent horror/fantasy movie a proper DVD release. Arguably, Bert I. Gordon's (FOOD OF THE GODS!) best film. When I was a wee lad, I caught this on a show called CREATURE FEATURE starring Dr. Paul Bearer in Florida. He was like Elvira or Ghoulardi but the guy was a hardcore alcoholic and did his show quite drunk. I actually had nightmares about flying skull ghosts when I was little because of this film. It is presented here for the first time in a beautiful 1.85/1 wide screen format. This movie RULES!!!

JACK FROST - I love this film but a good number of people I've made watch it think it's "...the stupidest fucking movie I've ever seen!" It's what I'd call a classic B-Film because it is a pretty fucking stupid movie, but it's loads of fun and it isn't trying to be anything other then a goofy horror film. It features a serial killer named Jack Frost who gets turned into a snowman thanks to a freak chemical accident. He then goes on to kill people in really gruesome ways and rapes Shannon Elizabeth in a shower with his carrot nose. ...yes you read that last part correctly.

THE BEYOND - Released here in America badly edited and retitled SEVEN DOORS OF DEATH, this gross-out masterpiece is, easily, director Lucio Fulci finest film. This isn't to say that ZOMBIE or CITY OF THE LIVING DEAD are bad, cause they also kick ass. From the opening scene featuring a graphical realistic torture scene where a guy gets whipped with a chain to a nasty scene where a guy gets attacked and killed by (rather fake looking...) spiders, to more eye ball nastiness then you can shake a stick at, this movie has some of the most gruesome death scenes put onto film. This one is not to be missed.

SHOCK - This Italian thriller Sadly, was Mario Bava's last film. It's also what some people would call a 'busy' film cause it jumps around a bit trying to decide where it wants to go. The last half hour really makes the film though when it all falls into place. The DVD also comes with POSSESSION starring the beautiful Isabelle Adjani before she ruined her face with too much plastic surgery, and Sam Neill who's always fun to watch.

BLOODBATH AT THE HOUSE OF DEATH - I originally came across this infectious horror/comedy thanks to the USA Network and NIGHT FLIGHT. It stars Vincent Price as 'The Sinister Man'. You got over the top blood soaked deaths, exploding monks, and ghosts raping nubile young ladies. Sadly, it'll probably never get a proper DVD release here but I can always hope for it. The video version I found over 15 years ago is rather faded in color and I need a new one.

SUPERSTITION - Yet another eighties horror film that made an impression on me when I was younger. This impression was a back handed smack to my jaw from my mom when I used the quote "Shut your bitchy mouth!' at while eating at Chuck E Cheeses after seeing the movie. This is a good movie to watch around 1 or 2 in the morning with all the lights out and a big bowl of popcorn.

SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES - Feeling pity on the younger kids out there and those of you with children, I'll throw you out a bone and suggest one the whole family can watch. As Disney movies go, though, this movie is pretty scary, thanks to a creepy 'Bad Uncle' vibe coming from Jonathon Pryce as the excellently named Mr. Dark. Creepy, atmospheric, and intense are three words to describe this film that's perfect for Halloween without the blood and nudity that usually takes up the screen time in these types of films.

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Put a fork in me, i'm burnt. Happy Halloween!

(edited by Cerebus on 4.10.06 1813)
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CRZ
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#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.26
Of the two films I've seen in this list, I'm not sure "Frogs!" qualifies as "bad" and I'm definitely sure "Goodbye Uncle Tom" isn't a horror film.

I'll put "The Keep" on my "to see" list though, for the (presumably unseen) presences of Mann AND Tangerine Dream, and the likeliness that my wife has this stashed away somewhere unbeknownst to me (as she does with hundreds of other films).

I apologies for the fact that this is all the quality I can muster in response to your very fine post. (Boy am I glad you convinced me to code out all the redundant "The W at Amazon" mentions after the first link ;-) )



CRZ
Leroy
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Since: 7.2.02

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#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.80
    Originally posted by Cerebus
    JACK FROST - I love this film but a good number of people I've made watch it think it's "...the stupidest fucking movie I've ever seen!" It's what I'd call a classic B-Film because it is a pretty fucking stupid movie, but it's loads of fun and it isn't trying to be anything other then a goofy horror film. It features a serial named Jack Frost who gets turned into a snowman thanks to a freak chemical accident. He then goes on to kill people in really gruesome ways and rapes Shannon Elizabeth in a shower with his carrot nose. ...yes you read that last part correctly.


So that's why JACK FROST 2 is a horror film.

I had never heard of this JACK FROST. I had heard of JACK FROST staring Michael Keaton about a musician who is killed in a car wreck and comes back as a ghost who inhabits the body of a snowman. Yes, it is also a dreadfully stupid movie - one that I somehow couldn't resist when it aired on HBO. (See also: Houseguest, starring Sinbad)

The puzzling part came about when I stumbled upon JACK FROST 2 at the video store, which is a sequel to JACK FROST the horror film and not JACK FROST the kiddie movie.

Not my brightest moment - although for some reason, I have no reservations in sharing it with all of you.



(edited by Leroy on 4.10.06 1407)


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SchippeWreck
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Since: 26.3.03
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#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.43
    Originally posted by Leroy
    ...somehow couldn't resist when it aired on HBO. (See also: Houseguest, starring Sinbad)

Also because Houseguest is AWESOME.



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Since: 23.5.02
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#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.20
I have seen 3 of the list. Maniac and The Last Broadcast both I have seen on IFC before. Having seen both Blair Witch and The Last Broadcast, I have to agree with Cerebus. It's a better movie with a better ending.

And the other being Jack Frost. Which would have been better if Micheal Keaton WAS playing a demonic snowman. :)



chazworthington
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#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.40
(deleted by chazworthington on 5.10.06 0154)
Matt Tracker
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Since: 8.5.03
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#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.15
To behold the glory of Jack Frost with screen captures and detailed recap, Click Here (i-mockery.com).

Want the same for the sequel? You can Click Here (i-mockery.com).

i-Mockery also has Great Horror Moments to see if you just Click Here (i-mockery.com).

Fairly warned be thee, says I: A chunk of this stuff is NSFW.

My favorite horror flicks are by Stuart Gordon (Re-Animator, From Beyond) and the criminally under-rated Exorcist 3.



"To be the man, you gotta beat demands." -- The Lovely Mrs. Tracker

My blog will amuse. (heygregory.blogspot.com)
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